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Friday, 31 August 2007


When we last left the blog serial on www.kkirch.blogspot.com Kelly gave our heroine Louella kinetic powers…wasn’t that nice of her?

Kelly’s last paragraph...

His gaze steady, Louella could only offer a forced smile, faking lightheartedness where she felt none. She glanced back at the Scrabble board. Sam stared at her hard and her eyes flicked to the word he’d spelled out…

The new episode from Amarinda…

Jonas could see from where he stood what the word was. Shindari. Sam was cunning. He knew that Louella would be confused by the word. Only one of the Brotherhood would know what it meant. Jonas met Louella’s eyes blankly. She must never know who he really was. Some truths did not always set up free. Some could kill you. This was one of them. Jonas was going to keep Louella Hawkins alive. He had plans for her. And so it appears did Sam. But there was no way Jonas would let Sam shindari Louella. She was his woman. He would have both her and the purple box.

“What the bloody hell does shindari mean?” Louella looked from Sam to Jonas. “Sounds like a Japanese foot massage.” She knew exactly what it meant of course. Her kinetic power was not the only thing she had inherited from her grandmother. Louella could read minds as well. There was no way anyone from the Brotherhood was going to shindari her. She had her pride.

Jonas smiled as he came down the stairs. “Shindari means luck.”

The real meaning certainly rhymed with luck. Louella smiled back at Jonas, a man she knew did not smile unless he wanted something. Louella had done extensive research on him. She was certain he did not have a clue that she was playing the part of the frightened victim. As soon as they let their guards down she would grab the purple box and be gone.

Louella neatly placed her tiles on the scrabble board. “Bollocks,” she announced as the letters spelt out the word.

Check out www.annycook.blogspot.com to see what red herring Anny throws in tomorrow.

I got smacked in the face today. Did I upset someone? No. I just happened to walk by at the exact moment when one of the warehouse guys shot his hand out wildly as he gestured. I got snotted, as we would say in Australia and it hurt. He was naturally very upset and once I could focus properly I told him it was okay. Well, maybe not okay as it hurt so much my eyes watered but accidents happen and people make mistakes. Who hasn’t? I cannot begin to count the amount of mistakes I have made. Some of them have been beauties. But I don’t allow them to define me as I know I will make more and life is too short to be beating yourself up over mistakes. So I am a little sore and sorry but I am fairly certain several glasses of plonk (wine) will help the pain.

I got edits back on Marlow’s Curse. It’s the vampire sequel to Shades of Gray which is released 6th February. Check out the blurb below and let me know what you think. Edits are always interesting. I wrote this book several months ago. Of course I remember the story but every so often when editing I read over my words and think…what the? I wrote that? Was I on drugs? Or other times I think damn that’s good. (You see I love me). Edits are also the time I realize I can’t remember why split infinitives are so bad, that I must spell in American-English for my US publisher and English-English for my UK publisher and that Aussie slang in books confuses everyone but Aussies. It is enough to drive you to drink.

I was just outside doing the laundry. It’s after 6pm and it’s just getting dark. My laundry is under the house. Houses in Queensland are built on tall stumps that elevate the house for cooling breezes in summer, to give more living space and to alleviate flooding rains. Er, that is when we have rain. Anyway, dressed in my bright pink pj’s (too tired and sore to paint the town red tonight. I could probably manage a sleepy beige) I have been wandering back and forward putting through loads of washing. Because of the drought the garden has gone to hell in a handbag. The native plants are hanging on but the rest are slowly dying. This kills the gardener in me but what can you do? Water is precious. There is however one plant that if thriving. It’s a big ugly arsed weed that had sprouted in the middle of my dead backyard lawn. It’s quite magnificent with his shiny green leave and white flowers. I am not going to pull it out. Yes it is a weed but the thing is it is proof of life. Sure, ugly life, but I admire it for growing when everything else around it is dying.

Please check out the blog on Monday when I have Claire Siemaszkiewicz the publisher of Total-E-Book books on the blog. I am looking forward to it. Total-E-Bound is the new kid on Romance block and they have this really good book just released called Lust in Time.

And speaking of things to look forward to – tomorrow Anny Cook gives us a sneak peek preview of her September Ellora’s Cave release – Everything Lovers Can Know. It’s hot! So come, check it out.

Marlow’s Curse - The blurb - coming soon through Ellora's Cave

Legend has it that if a St Michael witch is not willing no man can take her without suffering the consequences. Sybylla is the last St Michael witch. She knows that when a St Michael witch falls in love her lover becomes her weakness and the witch becomes his downfall. Sybylla will not allow her fate to destroy a man. But some men are hard to resist.

Marlow is not just any man. He is a vampire, cursed centuries ago to wander aimlessly through life believing he does not deserve more. When he meets Sybylla one moonlit night two lonely worlds collide. Marlow is aware of the legend but that doesn’t mean he is going to let a myth get in the way of deep enduring passion.

But Marlow is not the only one who wants Sybylla. A demon pursues her wanting vengeance and Scar will stop at nothing to make her pay. Will Sybylla sacrifice her own future happiness to vanquish the demon and save Marlow? Can a willing witch and a cursed vampire beat the odds?
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Thursday, 30 August 2007

When a plan comes together...


Swift of Heart - review
This is a nice and endearing story; your basic love conquers all, tale of two people who are meant to be together forever no matter what the obstacles. Even if the obstacles came in the forms of a spiteful woman and a maniac from Mac’s past, both which added a nice suspense element to the tale. I enjoyed the secondary characters of Amy, Stephanie’s sister and Alex, Mac best friend. They definitely rounded out the story and the ending left it open for a story between them in the future. Overall, a humorous, quirky and fun filled read.

So this morning I was up at 3am. Why? Am I insane? Sometimes – depends on what time of the month it is, whether the moon is full and if I have access to an adequate chocolate supply or not. Anyway I got up to participate in a chat on Love Romances e-book cafe. The chat started at 2pm EST USA time which is bloody early Aussie time - 4am to be precise. I was up at 3am to make sure I was relatively awake for said chatting. So after much coffee and face slapping, I sat down to chat. I typed a welcome-how are you all and expected a response. Nothing. Uh-huh. Was this a bad sign having no one to chat to? And where were my posts going? Hmmm....I soon discovered Yahoo was having what we would call in Australia a ‘hissy fit.’ Basically it refused to play as it was in a mood. So there I was all prepared and nothing. Zip. Nada. The big goose egg. Everyone was emailing me saying what is happening? My response was stuffed if I know. Don’t you just love it when a plan comes together?

Anyway, undaunted – takes more than a bloody computer system to beat this little black duck - I posted regardless. I posted lots of excerpts. I also asked lots of questions and answered them myself as no one could get in to answer them. This worked out to be a good plan as later when Yahoo came up and I was at work all my posts came flooding through. Yes, I was initially pissed off at Yahoo but then I thought Is this the worst thing that could happen to me? The answer was of course no. So why stress over the small stuff. By the way – a huge thanks to Dawn at Love Romances e-book café. She was marvellous with all us frustrated, whiny authors. Thanks mate.

Guess what? Skippy, my demonic assistant, got the arse…er…that’s fired in Aussie speak. I was upset. No truly I was. I had it in the office sweep that she would get sacked 4:32pm Friday, not 2:38pm Monday. When she told me she had been sacked I said I did not see that coming. Well I didn't. Who knew they would do it on a Monday? Usually they make people work the full week then sack ‘em. Anyway, as expected she did not go easy. I am sure the thing about us all turning into one legged toads was meant as a joke and I don’t think there is another space to stick what she suggested where she suggested – or maybe I am just not flexible enough. So, the demonic one has gone. The smell of sulphur has gone. No more burning yellow rage filled eyes glaring my way. I will miss her. Why? Because I have to do her work until they fill her place. This cuts into my ‘me’ time at work – my writing time. But luckily I have managed to shove several jobs sideways - I can be incredibly charming and persuasive when I need to be - so I was pleased with that.

Have you read Kelly’s response to out serial blog on www.kkirch.blogspot.com? It’s in response to Anny’s sexy scrabble game on www.annycook.blogspot.com. Hmm…what will I do tomorrow? Watch this space
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Wednesday, 29 August 2007

The Wednesday Interview


Welcome to the Wednesday interview. This week’s brilliant author is Rita Sable with her hot book Family Jewels. Next week we have Boji Stones author Sandra Cox. Mark these books down for your to buy list!

Family Jewels - the Blurb

Jewelry designer Cynthia Lyons knows what she wants from her career and she doesn't mind working long hours to get it. What she doesn't know is how to find a man who won't interfere with her goals. Is it too much to want a lover who can also satisfy her darker, more passionate side?

Interpol agent Trevor St. James has given up any hope for a long-term relationship. Driven by his thirst for adventure and excitement, he travels the world hunting down stolen gems and precious icons. It's a job he's very good at, so why doesn't it satisfy him anymore?

After one of her customers disappears, Cynthia is left with a rare five-carat white diamond. Torn from its rightful owners during the Nazi invasion of Russia, the diamond has kept a big secret for more than sixty years. But someone knows the secret this gem hides and they'll stop at nothing to have it. She's running for her life straight into Trevor's arms, only to find that the diamond isn't the only thing that blazes with white-hot fire. Trevor can keep her alive. But Cynthia's got to trust him first...with her life and her body.

The Interview


1. You have some sizzling sex scenes in your book. How hard is it to write sex and make it convincing?

It really depends. In some stories the sex just seems to come naturally and the characters take charge of what they want to do. I make sexual tension, seduction and anticipation key elements in my stories, so by the time the actual sex act happens both my characters and the readers are hot and squirming in their seats. I believe that sex happens at a physical level but it really “works” inside the brain, so strong emotions play a big part in all my sex scenes.

2. Romance and the condom. How hard do you find to slip it in or on when the action is hot between characters?

Not hard at all. My h/h are responsible, intelligent adults and know that casual, unprotected sex is not a good thing no matter how hot and bothered they are. I try to make a sexy little game out of putting the condom on…or in some cases, a hurry-up-fumble-finger-grunt ‘n groan episode that drives ‘em crazy until that moment when “aaahhh-yes!”

I’ve also been known to torture my h/h if for some reason they don’t have a condom. Oh yeah, I love writing those torture scenes! Of course they are allowed to get creative in other ways to satisfy each other. I’m not that cruel – LOL!

3. Do you think romance just happens or do you make your characters work for it?

Are you kidding? Romance is hard work! I’m much more intrigued by a h/h who are attracted to each other but also at odds with each other. I love the push/pull between them. I want them to say, “You make me so mad but dammit! I want you!” They have obstacles to conquer first. If romance comes too easy it’s usually short-lived and doesn’t end with an HEA. I want characters who fall in love and work to make it right between them.

4. What is it about your hero that makes him irresistible to women?

I absolutely love the calm, cool confidence that actor Daniel Craig portrayed as James Bond in the 007 movie “Casino Royale”. He’s not a classically handsome man, but his attitude combined with a strong physique hold hordes of women enthralled – including me.

My hero is confident – of himself and his skills. He’s protective of her even if she’s quite capable of taking care of herself or has pissed him off. He never gives up or quits when the chips are down. He’s intelligent, of course, because idiots are just not sexy. He has a sense of humor and he’s not afraid to use it against her when she’s upset. He’s also got a soft spot for animals and children.

5. Do you think readers want to escape or do they want to identify with a character?

Both. When I choose a book to read, I want to be carried away to another place, a different time, or another world. Reading is a mini-vacation for the mind. At the same time I have to be able to project myself into this story and believe in the characters. I want to identify with the heroine, to fantasize that in an alternate universe, I might be her. When I write, I create my stories the same way.

6. What do you think is the most important thing to remember when writing romance?

Romance is about love over all. In my opinion, as an author you have to prove to the reader that your characters really do love each other and that what they’re experiencing isn’t just a strong physical attraction. As adults we all know how good sex feels, but if you’re in love it affects your mind more than anything else. I want my characters to have strong emotional ties as well as sexual urges.

7. What are you working on now?

I’ve pretty much taken the summer off and spent my time away from the computer. I have a great tan this year. But I’m still thinking about my wip’s and find myself looking forward to cooler, wetter weather and getting back into a writing routine this fall. I have 2 contemporary paranormals on my back burner, as well as another contemporary suspense like my current release with EC. I also have a SciFi, and a brand new ménage “quickie” simmering in my brain. All of these are erotic romances, of course.
***Click on the cover and buy the book***

Last week’s brilliant author – Carol Lynne and Garron’s Gift

Did Anny skip a beat in the switcheroo to the blog serial? Of course not. She is so Zen she scares me. Check out www.annycook.blogspot.com. Kelly’s up for the jump tomorrow – what will she do on www.kkirch.blogspot.com? Will she choke? I think she’ll choke but don’t tell her I said so.
Amarinda News...

Please stop by at my chat tomorrow from 2pm – 8pm EST on http://groups.yahoo.com/group/LoveRomancesCafe/. There will be lots of great excerpts from some hot authors.

Also Monday I interview the boss of Total-E-Bound. Come and see what they look for in authors and what they want for their readers.

Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Tuesday, 28 August 2007

Where for art thou Emmeline?


I am chatting on http://groups.yahoo.com/group/LoveRomancesCafe/ on Wednesday 29th August from 2 – 8pm EST – which is bloody early Thursday morning Aussie time. Please feel free to come along and keep me awake. Joining me will be some great authors with some hot excerpts.

And now…our serial blog continues…

“Oh for heaven sake I cannot watch this Emmeline crap any longer. Fangs, peelers, yellow quills? Turn the television off!” Louella had seen more than enough. “How much longer do I have to be here?” If she had to stay a moment longer Louella knew she was going to puke.

“Until the danger passes.” Sam Patterson watched the woman with interest. She was cranky as hell but deliciously hot to look at.

“It’s been two bum numbing weeks!” Witness protection? Witness boredom more like it.

“Duh, remember your life is in danger.” She was hot but thick…like something else he could think of.

“I’m in danger of being bored to death.”

“Hey I’ve done my best to keep you busy.”

“How? By watching schlock 1960’s television shows about warrior women who carry humming potato peelers and men who don’t know their phallax from their foot?” Louella snorted in disgust.

“You are a hard woman to please.”

“You have no idea” Louella licked her lips and looked at him thoughtfully. “We could have some fun together Sammy.”

“I am not doing that again.” He liked adventure but there were limits even with a beautiful woman.

“Come on you liked it.” Louella remembered vividly how it felt and tasted. She moved towards him

“It made me too hot.” Sam knew he had almost lost control last time and that was not on. He was there to protect this woman.

“But it was worth it.” She placed her hand on his chest. His heart beat wildly. Good to know she was not the only one excited.

“Oh yeah but…”

“No buts,” Louella slid her hand down his body. “Let’s do it again Sammy boy.”

Anny…you’re up to the challenge. Check her out tomorrow on www.annycook.blogspot.com. Then take a squiz at www.kkirch.blogspot.com Thursday to see what Kelly does…god help us all.

What the heck does Kelly Kirch write you ask? Why Regencies of course. Do I have a sample? For you – yes….
Marriage Mart – Released December 2007 - http://www.kellykirch.com/KellyKirch.html

The excerpt


Ester clutched the stony baluster for support, hanging her head. Tears streamed down her face in hot trails. She didn’t care if she ruined her disguise. The orchestra’s sweet notes drifted a tender waltz, wrapping around her as if to comfort her. She moved off to the edge of the balcony where the shadows enveloped her. Covering her face with her hands, the grease at her temples saturated her gloved fingers. She removed them with quick jerking motions.
Why hadn’t father told her? Was it so hard to claim he had stood up for a young doctor and felt bound to him? And why the bloody hell didn’t her father call upon Baxter when mother got pregnant again if her own birth nearly cost her mother’s life?
Too many questions.
Ester shook her head almost hypnotically from side to side and tried desperately to muffle her crying. Between the tears and her rubbing hands, she knew her disguise was decimated. She could feel the smooth skin of her jaw and didn’t care. Ester wiped her cheeks along her sleeves and shed her coat allowing the cool November air to sooth her heated body.
In the depths of the shadows, a warm hand fumbled to her shoulder and gently squeezed her. Ester jumped, her heart pounding in her chest. “Who’s there?”
“A friend.” The voice was a soothing balm and she hiccupped. “Do you want to talk about what’s upsetting you?”
“No. I don’t even know you.” Ester tried unsuccessfully to keep her voice from wobbling.
“I don’t know you either but I heard you crying. Come, you need a friend.”
Ester felt her ire rise. “Contrary to popular belief, not all women need to be coddled or seduced.” She prayed the embodiment of that voice hadn’t seen her exit to the balcony as a man. She held her breath, waiting for his answer.
The voice chuckled warmly. “I’m here for neither, though perhaps it is a promising idea to take your mind off your troubles.”
Ester breathed an internal sigh of relief, her identity was preserved. “If I had wanted to be coddled,” she snuffled, “I would have sought out my father.”
“And where would you go for the seduction?”
Ester thought wildly, grasping for any outrageous name that came to mind. She smiled at the incongruity of the one which sprang to mind. “I suppose I would seek out someone like Lord Rochester.” She hoped the defiance in her voice wasn’t overshadowed by the embarrassing hiccup that escaped her.
The man’s voice chuckled with a secret joke. “Lord Rochester, eh? You are in luck then.”
Uneasiness grabbed hold of her. “Why?” she whispered, already knowing the answer.
“Lord Marcus Rochester, seducer of young virgins and mysterious crying women at your service.”
She sensed, more than felt, Marcus gather himself around her.
“You see,” he whispered, lifting her chin, “your tears are already ceasing.” She was so distracted that the sudden sensation of warm breath on her lips caused her to inhale sharply.
She had a flash of momentary irritation for his arrogance. His lips brushed lightly over hers and her irritation vanished, replaced with curiosity. The whisper of a touch could have been imagined, it was so gentle. Ester waited, absorbed with the slight tingling sensation on her lips.
His lips touched hers again, this time with deeper, tender pressure. An image of Marcus as he appeared in the Braithwaite ballroom invaded her mind and she felt her stomach flop unexpectedly. Marcus captured her bottom lip between his and suckled it tenderly.
She moaned. She didn’t remember placing her hand on his chest for support but she felt the rumble of his chuckle before she heard it. On some level, she realized her enjoyment of this stolen kiss could present a problem.
He leaned forward tentatively, as though sensing her hesitance and respecting it, allowing her to pull away from him if she wished. Ester thought she should stop but couldn’t make herself. He held her with no more than a touch of fingertips beneath her chin and the sear of his lips on hers. Her fingers curled against his great coat. She felt a trill in the knowledge that the thumping of his erratically beating heart mirrored hers.
His kiss broke off suddenly, leaving her bereft of his soft warmth. “Somebody is calling me.” Marcus’ voice was husky and he seemed to waiver between kissing her again and dispatching the potential for discovery.
“Marcus, I must go home immediately. I know you are out here.”
Ester recognized Caroline’s voice and realized Caroline must have seen her exit to the balcony too.
He stood very still. His heated breath still fanned against her lips. “Will you be all right?” he asked.
She nodded not thinking about the darkness concealing her from his gaze. The softness of his lips grazed her again and she sighed into the sensation.
“Marcus?”
He groaned.
Ester whispered, her lips brushing his as she spoke, “I’ll be all right.”
“I was afraid you might say that.” He smiled against her lips bemusement tinting his voice. “I’m not sure I am able to go.”
More hot news
Next Monday Claire Siemaszkiewicz – the Publisher from Total-E-Bound will be on the Amarinda blog answering the hard questions. Come by and check it out. In the mean time swing by Total-E-Bound and check out the books…in particular one called Lust in Time.

www.freewebs.com/janetdavies
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Monday, 27 August 2007

Lust in Time released...


When Arabella Smith wakes up on the floor of a strange house in 1888 she is gob-smacked. When the shock of waking up back in time wears off and she meets the original owner of the book in her hand—the book that she suspects is the reason why she is no longer in the 21st century—Arabella begins to believe it is her mission to help Amy Louisa and then get back to the mod cons of 2008 as soon as possible.
However Garrett Robillard has other plans for Arabella. He knows why she is in 1888 and it has everything to do with him. Arabella is the mystery lover he has been dreaming about for the last three weeks. She is the woman for him. Garrett just needs to convince her of that.
Arabella’s plan was not to fall in love and have hot sex with Garrett especially as she knows time is fickle and she can be thrown back into the future without warning. But what can a girl do when she is faced with the man of her dreams and the past is really her future?
Lust in Time has been released! Let the pigeons loose…or maybe not as they can be messy. Pigeons? Lust? What the hell am I talking about you ask? Is it a book about amorous birds? No, Lust in Time is about two lusty individuals whom fate has brought together for all the right reasons but in 1888. Click on the cover and have a squiz at the book on the Total-E-Bound site or take a read of the excerpt below. But please be warned – this is an adult excerpt. If contains sex and swear words.

The adult excerpt...
When Arabella caught the other set of eyes fixed on her she froze to the spot. Somehow
she knew this man with the ash blond hair but she was not sure how. A feeling of heat
suffused her body as she looked at him. They had shared a moment somewhere, somehow, and he was important to her but how exactly? Her eyes roamed his tall lean body as she searched for answers. He was dressed stylishly but simply in a well cut grey serge jacket, vest, starched white shirt and a tie and his long legs were encased in grey serge trousers—yet the fabric could not hide the bulk of a large cock dressed to the left. Arabella stiffened suddenly and looked back up at the man’s face. Grey eyes and blond hair. Holy crap! This was the man with the cock.
“Oh my god it’s you!” It was the man from her dream. He was standing before her and
she was utterly gob smacked. Her heart was pounding like she had run ten miles in a minute and she could barely speak through shock. Dream lovers were just that—part of a dream. They weren’t supposed to turn up in reality—but then her reality had taken a sharp ninety degree turn so she was no expert of what was real at the moment.
“Yes it is me.” His eyes were shining in a mixture of happiness and desire. “My wish has
come true.”
“Wish? What wish? Who are you?” And why was he looking at her as if she had
somehow made his day? Arabella could barely work out what was going on in her own day let alone having time to contribute to another’s.
“You don’t remember me?” Garrett looked at her teasingly as he walked over to her.
Arabella looked up at the man mountain before her and blushed. She remembered one
thing about him only too well. He was the man who had driven her to her knees in passion. He was a man who was not supposed to exist. She looked over to where Maud and Aggie were chatting to the storekeeper. At least they appeared oblivious to what was going on with their guest time traveller. Arabella closed her eyes in the hope that when she opened them he would not be there and she would be in her own home in 2008. But he was there and she was still there.
“You were a dream.” A hot, sexy, toe curling dream that made her sigh and wonder but
still a dream.
“No I am very much a reality—your reality as you are mine.”
Arabella’s eyes opened wide in amazement. The man with the cock was talking yours and mine stuff when Arabella had trouble doing her own single act by herself.
“What the hell are you talking about?” Reverting to snappy bitch form was her best
defence when she had no idea what was going on.
“I need to talk to you in private.”
A sudden wild thought shot into Arabella’s head. She had the feeling she had told him
sometime, somewhere that she loved him and he had said it back. Freaky! Arabella had never told anyone that she loved them before, mainly because there had never been anyone to say it to. So why would she have spoken such words to him?
“Look, I am sure you are just part of some subconscious mind overload I had just before I
came hurtling back in time. You are a dream. I want you to vanish to wherever dreams go.”
“Touch me, I am not a dream and you know it.”
“I don’t know anything at the moment.” As for touching him? That was just asking for
trouble. Eyes off the cock! Not like you have never seen a cock before.
“Arabella, you will talk to me now or I will make it very difficult for you.”
He knew her name? What was his name? She stopped dead. Garrett. Frigging hell his name was Garrett something or other. She had no idea what was going on but she knew she wanted no part of this until she could think clearly—and how could he possibly make it any more difficult? She was a twenty-first century woman wearing a corset talking to a dream man she very likely had sex with who might or might not exist in a time she did not belong in. More difficult? I think not.
“Just get away from me.” Arabella stepped back and hit a shelf of dry goods behind her.
Although she felt no actual malicious threat from him there was something about him that
scared her—something that was all too real.
“You know I can’t, Arabella.” Garrett reached out and stroked her face gently. “I love
you.”
“What are you nuts?” Arabella pushed his hand away. The face stroking had been nice
up until the declaration of love. “You don’t even know me! The only thing I remember about you is you are a part of a dream and you have a very large cock. It’s not the basis for a relationship.”
Garrett chuckled at her words.
“I am glad to hear you enjoyed being with me, honey. I hope to be spending more time
with you and inside you soon.”
A hot flush shot through Arabella’s body at his words. Inside you soon. Arabella slapped
her own face to pull her back to reality—such as it was at the moment. The pain assured her this was the truth and this man was not a dream. But what then? Had her life suddenly
become like an episode of Lost?
“Great cock or not, back off, buddy.”
“I need to talk to you,” Garrett said as he reached over and grabbed her elbow. “Come
with me now or else.”
“Or else what?” What could he possibly do to make her act against her own will?
Garrett leant down and whispered close to Arabella.
“I’ll tell everyone you dropped naked to you hands and knees and begged me to fuck
you hard and fast.”
Arabella’s eyes opened wide in horror. Oh crap. Now she remembered. She had done
exactly that and he had done exactly that. Part of her knew she should be denying what
happened or challenging him over the truth. However deep down inside where it counted she knew in her heart she had been with him and this was no dream. But that did not mean she had to go along with him and his plans. It was freaky enough being in 1888 without having to deal with someone who was supposed to exist only in a dream.
“You wouldn’t. This is 1888 and a gentleman would never do anything as vulgar as that
to embarrass a lady.” Granted the Rainey sisters were open-minded what with time travelers dropping in but she knew they would most likely be horrified at such sluttish behaviour.
“I’m not a gentlemen, honey.” Garrett’s voice was low and husky. “I will give you until
the count of three. One—”
“No!” Arabella exclaimed softly through gritted teeth as she stamped her booted heel.
She wasn’t going to be pushed into anything. “We have nothing to talk about.”
“Oh but we do. Two—”
“Fuck off,” Arabella hissed, shivering as the warm breath from his mouth touched her
face.
“Three.” He looked at Arabella meaningfully. “Can I have everyone’s attention please?”
Arabella grabbed Garrett’s arm quickly. Pushy bastard.
“Okay.” Her eyes shot daggers into his.
“Excellent.” Garrett turned and looked at the other people in the store. “I just wanted to
say good day to you all.” He held out his arm for Arabella. She latched on, her eyes narrowed with anger.
The Rainey sisters nodded and smiled as their curious gazes went to Arabella as if trying
to assess what was going on.
“You are the son of a motherless goat,” Arabella snapped quietly as Garrett started to
escort her from the store.
“Are you all right, Arabella?” Maud looked at her visitor with concern.
“I’m just fine, Maud. I’ll be back presently.” Arabella could see the two sisters smile and
exchange significant looks. “Oh great, no doubt they are thinking bloody destiny and frigging paths,” she muttered under her breath.

Thief of Mine – Review – thanks to Steph at Coffee Time Romance
A highly stimulating tale, Thief of Mine kept me engrossed from beginning to end. Ms. Jones created an interesting world that jumps off the pages, making the reader feel as if they were there with the characters. The love scenes are fan-worthy hot, while the adoration between Kit and Stella clearly shows through. Amarinda Jones is a wonderful storyteller and I’m looking forward to her future works. A wonderful tale I would recommend to anyone, get your copy of

Did you read Kelly’s take on Emmeline on www.kkirch.blogspot? Bloody hell. I have a surprise in store for my two yankee mates on tomorrow’s blog. Whatever will Anny – www.annycook.blogspot.com do on Wednesday? Oh dear, maybe it would be bad to surprise them so? But then what is it they say? Good girls go to heaven and bad girls go everywhere else.

Sunday, 26 August 2007

To bare arse or not…


Lust in Time - Released 27th August - It's all about time travel, lust and love in 1888. What can a girl do when she is faced with the man of her dreams and the past is really her future? Click on the cover and check it out.
Ethel (one of my best friends and no, not her real name) and I won lotto Saturday night. I bought the ticket so I feel it was my luck that got us the win. Ethel was just happy to hear the news. So we’re in the money…all $23.90 of it. Okay so it’s not a lot but the thing is that I have bought another ticket for Tuesday night with the winnings and we are bound to win that. See the logic? Hope springs eternal and Ethel and I will clutch at whatever straws we have to. Apart from the usual reasons for winning money – pay the mortgage, new cars, holidays etc, Ethel wants to exact revenge. I am not entirely against this as being a Scorpio I like and understand revenge. Ethel basically wants to go down to the office we once worked out – let’s call the company Promptel – and give one particular manager, who treated her very badly, a hard time. Her dreams sequence is win the lotto – pick me up in the limo – head to downtown Bris-vegas and shout abuse at, let’s call him Warren (read the manager in Because I Can) and stick her bare arse out the window and moon him – all this of course while she is drunk. I have pointed out that I am happy to do the limo and drinking thing with her - and while I understand what that little…er…individual (I was going to say prick but that may offend) did to her - sticking ones arse out the window and shouting obscenities lacks class. Added to that holding on to a glass of plonk(wine) whilst balancing said butt out the window may be tricky. Ethel concedes this but she wants to do it anyway. Thrillseeker.

Got an email from Svetlana, no not her real name. You might remember her. She is the friend who was not worried about terrorists when going overseas. She was worried about the availability oyster sauce. You’ll be happy to know the oyster sauce situation is under control and she has access to it. Whew. Worried about that…not. She would be in Moscow now. She emailed me to make me jealous of her travels as good friends are supposed to. I was in Moscow in 1984. Correct, I was a mere child at the time. It was before walls came down and the soviet countries opened up to the capitalism of the west. I loved travelling in Russia and I would love to do it all again. I would however hate to see a Westernised Russia lose its unique identity. I think it’s a shame that too many countries trade their national identity for the corporate dollar. I see it to a lesser extent here in OZ due to television programming, music and pseudo celebrities that try to push half arsed fads where they want everyone to act, think and talk alike. Yes, the world is smaller but let’s keep our own identities and not all become simulated people with our baseballs caps on backwards and a t-shirt with fizzy drink logo as a fashion statement.

Of course you would have read Anny’s Emmeline instalment on www.annycook.blogspot.com. I particularly loved the lines…
The barbs on her quills pierced his phallax.With a final bellow of pain, Shade fainted.
Beautiful, poignant, confusing. Tomorrow make sure you go to www.kkirch.blogspot.com as you know Grasshopper will have some weird arsed yet poetic response.

Prophecy of Vithan by Charlene Leatherman - out now through Cerridwen Press

Morgan had the life she dreamed of all her life. Although still a brothel slave, the king and queen treated her like a free woman, and the prince she was training was like a son to her.
Then everything goes to hell. Morgan is forced into a marriage with a man she can not respect or admire. Her prince is missing and the king and queen are killed. Morgan is blamed for the murder. Morgan’s primary concern is to find Prince Khai.
The only thing slowing Morgan down is the prophecy about her saving the galaxy, remaining a virgin, and that damn electric attraction she feels every time Len touches her.

Len had his orders. The ones everyone knew about and the other ones. Marry his soul-mate and consummate the marriage and determine if his new wife was the original Morgan Taj Zephyrain. The first he looked forward to. The second he preferred to ignore.
Morgan is accused of murdering the king and queen. Prince Khai is missing. Obviously, Morgan Taj Zephyrain is the criminal Len is seeking. It is Len’s job to bring the murderer to justice.

Coming soon – September though Ellora’s cave
Everything Lovers Can Know - Prequel to Mystic Valley Series by Anny Cook

From the time they were children Baron and Jade were heart-bonded and mind-linked. But children don’t stay young forever and when they reach adulthood, they yearn for more than a mind-link. They yearn for the bond of physical love.

When Jade’s secret plan to seduce Baron backfires, their families separate them using coercion and blackmail. Jade goes on to a successful career as a musician while Baron completes medical school and begins his internship.

Now, three years later Jade has a new plan to end their separation. Baron arrives at the isolated cabin where Jade is waiting to find out once and forever if the fierce longings and desire they had for each other before are enough to make them truly two-as-one.

Coming soon – Cerridwen Press
To Love a Hero – Mona Risk www.monarisk.com

Dr. Cecile Lornier is an ambitious chemist who fought hard to win and keep her first international contract. She travels to Belarus to coordinate the environmental cleanup and literally starts her contract on the wrong foot as she stumbles on the broken escalator of the airport. When a muscular chest cushions her fall, she finds more chemistry than she bargains for in the arms of the handsome Major General of Belarus.
The widowed Sergei has pledged to clean his country of the pollution left by the Chernobyl disaster. With a glass of vodka in his hand and the lovely Cecile nestled in his arms, Sergei has more on his mind now than nuclear pollution, and Cecile soon learns that chemicals are not the only things that generate heat.
The general doubts he can fulfill his mission if he surrenders his heart while Cecile fights his chauvinistic officers to perform her contract. Soon she will have to choose between betraying Sergei's trust or abandoning him to the evil plot of his hateful ex-father-in-law.

Friday, 24 August 2007

Size O? Get the hell out!


“These mortals are boring me.” Queen Zahara’s finger hovered over the universal destructo button. She was tired of watching their silly game playing through dimensions.

“You can’t kill them,” warned Beaky Sprott, her man in waiting.

“Oh why not? I expected Emmeline to have had sex at least once by now.” Was the girl slow witted?

“This is more than just about sex. A world is at stake.” Beaky was only too aware of the Queen’s restless libido.

“’Still boring.” She licked her lips and looked at the tall, lean man. “Let’s have sex again Beaky.” She might even let him come this time. Maybe. It was dependant on her mood.

“You know I can only have sex on a Tuesday…this is Friday.” Even if he could, Beaky wouldn’t. The woman’s thighs had scraped off most on his phallax scales. “We could always hasten Emmeline to her Khaleena.” He saw her magenta eyes light up.

“I was told I could never…” The thought of what he was suggesting intrigued her.

“We can but only if no one knows.”

That would almost be as good as sex. “You mean we can...”

“Yes, let’s evoke the 97th rule of dissolution.”

“Hot damn! Please may I ring the bell?” She was hot all over thinking about it.

“Be my guest, they are your sons after all.”

“Rafe and Shade take after their father – they are phallax ready but no imagination.” Her hand grabbed at the bell “Do you think the old rumour is true about the descendants of the Kinross?”

“That they turn into twins after sex? Well Emmeline is a direct descendant let’s see.”


I asked author Molly Daniels to give us a fresh character – hence Queen Zahara. Thanks Molly D. Check out her great website and books –
http://www.mollydaniels.citymax.com/page/page/4324227.htm

So what will Anny do on
www.annycook.blogspot.com tomorrow? Whatever it is it will be good and Kelly will kick it up a notch further on Monday on www.kkirch.blogspot.com.

I was exercising this morning – puke, spew – and I was watching a delayed American broadcast from one of those perky early morning shows. I don’t do perky…I cannot even manage bouncy unless is if physically so and then I could put an eye out. Anyway they had this report on actresses in Hollywood being considered normal at size 0. What the?? What the hell is wrong with these people? Size 0? Isn’t that a size you give to babies? Why are we allowing Hollywood and fashion and so called experts tell us what is normal or what is beautiful? Why can’t you be a size 8 or 14 or 22 if you are healthy? Who says you can’t be happy at size 10 or 16? Who are these nitwits that advocate fashion trends? I lost weight because I wanted to be healthier when I am a little old lady tearing up the retirement village. I don’t give a rat’s arse for fashion. I care about me and what’s important to me. Stick your perfect measurements in your ear I say. This is what I believe:-

- you are unique and beautiful regardless what size you are
- looks fade but personality lasts forever
- sex appeal is all to do with having a good imagination and knowing you are hot even if you are a size 22
- he/she will love you because you are the bomb in their eyes

Okay, that’s as sappy as I get but you get the drift. Stuff what the so called fashionistas say. Be who the hell you want to be and live like you mean it.

Dear Amarinda, this is your horoscope for Friday, August 24th:Scorpio,With a good dose of determination, you'll manage to have your way in both work and romance, attributable mainly to a very clear outlook. Tip: be more uninhibited.

These are good stars. They mean that I will be able to write my next book at work today without work getting in the way. The clear outlook means that my email problems at work – outlook – will be fixed. Just as well as Ethel had a stress attack yesterday when I did not answer her emails. She had to – gasp – work at work! She did message me several times on my mobile indicating her rage at the company I work for not being able to get the email working. Yes, it is rude of them.

There will be no blog tomorrow. Yes, I know, you are all devastated…okay, at least pretend to be will you? I am heading up to the mountains to the retirement village to see what my father and his crazy cohorts are up to. You know, after seeing them doing what they want when they want, I don’t understand why people fear growing old or retirement. Age is just a state of mind. Be hell when you’re young and be hell when you are older…that’s my plan.

www.freewebs.com/janetdavies
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?
amarinda_jones@yahoo.com.au



Thursday, 23 August 2007

Dream and schemes...


Mix a little Harlequin-like romance, dimensional time travel; with just a dash of rugged maleness and a whole lot of hot-tempered red-headed femaleness and you’ve got “Swift of Heart.”
A little over a year ago Mackinley Swift walked out of Stephanie’s life. Even all the chocolate in the world didn’t help her get over him. Now he’s back and no matter how many times Stephanie slams the door in his face he won’t leave. And what’s this story of fighting a war on his world…he’s on a different world? No, same world just a different dimension, yeah right. Did someone just blow Stephanie’s house up?
This is a truly hilarious little romance adventure. And, I think there’s going to be more. I liked this story for it’s quickness, it’s humour, it’s funny strong leading lady, and it’s shortness. It’s a fine quick summer read on either sunny days or rainy days.

http://www.fmam.biz/reviews/august07.shtml#swiftofheart

Please read www.kkirch.blogspot.com.for the latest on Emmeline. Is Kelly mad? Well of course she is but she is a friend so what can you do but go along with it? Mind you Anny started her off as always…bad Anny – check out her fine effort on www.annycook.blogspot.com

I had this dream last night about this man I used to work with several years ago. It was so intense I am still thinking about it. The thing was he is a complete Mr Wrong in so many ways. While there was this weird attraction between us but it was more what I would call a National Geographic attraction – the idea of going somewhere you never dreamed of going and if you go there you never want to go back again. And no, we never went there. What is it about some people you know are just wrong for you but you can’t help thinking what if? Stella in Thief of Mine is like that. Kit Kincaid is the quintessential bad boy and on so many levels he is just wrong but yet… So I will channel this dream into a book. I also had no shoes on in the dream…I don’t know how I’ll work that into the book but something will occur to me at the time I need it. As for the man, not all dreams are signs but they can be the basis for books. Some of my best heroes are men I saw in the street, on a train or, passing by. I remember being intensely attracted to this man on a train – well the back of him. Broad shoulders, long legs and a great butt. I never saw the front of him which was good as it may have ruined the whole image I concocted in my mind. I used this man’s butt for my character of Justin in Because I Can.

Okay, off weird dreams. I had a chat with several people today about email scams. My particular favourite is the one where you get emailed to advise you are in actual fact part of Upper Botachootu royalty and please send one hundred dollars immediately to secure your crown. While I think Princess Amarinda has a nice ring to it – and my mother did name us so a title could sit nicely in front of our names(seriously) – I know it’s a load of crap. Then there is the one where authors get glowing fan mail asking for an autographed photo as the fan loved their book so much. Yes, like you are dumb and egotistical enough to give up your identity that easily. Yet people fall for it. Why? Because these slimy nitwits who operate these scams play on our need and greed and we’ve all got both of those emotions within us. We are always wanting to believe the hand full of magic beans we are being offered will solve our problems.

I used to work for a telephone company – let’s call them Promptel – and I used to work in complaints dealing with people who would rack up huge charges on the psychic lines because they believe whatever Madam Zelda and her circle of psychic nitwits said. Madam Z never explained how the victim would pay the huge bill but then she did not give a rats arse. Another good one was people who denied calling Randy’s Hot Stud Muffins looking for the promise of sexual fulfilment. It ain’t gonna happen over the phone. So either bar access to the number or cut your fingers off – and no, blaming the phone company for allowing you access to a phone is not going to wash. If you complained to me your options were cut and dried. Get a grip, put a bar on and if you have to play with yourself use your own imagination.

So we all know nothing is ever gained easily. Though in saying that Ethel and I have a ticket in the lotto on Saturday night for as Ethel says - quote “that dumb, slack arsed bitch lady lucky has to give us a break sometime.” Okay I’m in on that logic. Yes, Ethel has quite a way with words. No, she is not a writer. She is in her own mind an award winning singer – in everyone else’s she sounds like a cat being strangled. I used to sit beside her at work. People used to request to be moved from her due to her singing. Not me. She always had excellent gossip. I would not move from that. I don’t go to work to work for god sake.

Skippy, my assistant, still hates me, just in case you were wondering. She still chants low and manically under her breath and now she has taken to glaring at me. My care factor on this? Negative 12. Just another day at the office really.
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Wednesday, 22 August 2007

The Wednesday Interview


Once again it’s time for the Wednesday interview and another hot cover to tantalize you with. This week’s brilliant author Carol Lynne talk about her newest release Garron’s Gift. Next week’s is Family Jewels brilliant author Rita Sable.

Garron’s Gift – The blurb
Garron Greeley thought he had it all—a great new job and the man of his dreams to call his own. When his lover Sonny sprang the idea of a commitment ceremony on him, Garron couldn’t have been happier. Except for a few men, the town seemed supportive of their relationship, and many showed up to witness their special day. The ceremony is everything he hoped for, until an act of bigoted violence shatters Garron’s world, leaving his new husband in a pool of blood in the middle of the street. He’s left wondering if asking for everything will leave him with nothing.

Working with his new brother-in-law, Garron sets out to prove the identity of the shooter and bring him to justice. Along the way he learns that true love can have many different forms.
The Interview

1. You have some sizzling sex scenes in your book. How hard is it to write sex and make it convincing?

Boy, you really start off with a bang, so to speak. Well, my style has changed a little since I first started writing sex scenes, but it also depends on my mood. I find the frenzied passion driven scenes much easier to write than the slow love scenes. Of course, my favorite is always the first-time scenes. I love those, the discovery and the passion. Ooh, I’m getting goose bumps just thinking about them. I’m going to have to go write one, but I’ll be back.

Okay, I’ve written my scene and smoked an after orgasm cigarette, I’m much calmer now. Let’s continue.

2. Romance and the condom. How hard do you find to slip it in or on when the action is hot between characters?

Almost impossible. I tend to find a way around it if I can, because nothing says sexy like a day-glow condom in the middle of a love scene.

3. Do you think romance just happens or do you make your characters work for it?

Sex just happens. Romance, I make my boys work for. Usually I use real-life men as my character models, and many of them don’t have a clue what romance is. It usually takes the other partner to teach them, just like most women have to teach their men.

4. What is it about your hero that makes him irresistible to women?

Irresistible to me, or to the average woman? Hmm…I’m pretty damn easy I guess, because you give me a character with overly-long shaggy hair and a couple of tattoos and I’m there. Other women might be different but since I’m the one who has to get in the mood in order to write the love scenes, I let my libido guide me. Hopefully my own sense about what is sexy isn’t too terribly off the mark.

5. Do you think readers want to escape or do they want to identify with a character?

I’d like to believe they like the escape. Unless there are a lot of readers out there who know long-haired tough biker dudes with tattoos and hearts of gold. Although, it would be nice to read a book about a studly hero coming to whisk a woman away from the chores of laundry and cleaning toilets. In the real world, the stud would probably whisk the woman off to his own house to do laundry and clean toilets. Nope, I’ll stick with the escape.

6. What do you think is the most important thing to remember when writing romance?

If you, as the writer, don’t feel like you are right there in bed with your characters, the reader won’t either. I laugh and cry with my characters, and when the sex starts, well…..

7. What are you working on now?

Right now, I’m working on several books for Total-e-bound. I have another already plotted and ready to start as soon as I finish my last book in the Good-time Boys series. The new series is tentatively titled Cattle Valley.

***Click on the cover and buy the book!***

Last weeks brilliant author duo – Chris Power and Terri Becket with Nettleflower.

Have you checked out the latest in our Emmeline blog serial? If not go immediately to www.annycook.blogspot.com and then over to www.kkirch.blogspot.com for tomorrow’s episode. Don’t be the last to know what peril Emmeline finds herself in!

www.freewebs.com/janetdavies
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Tuesday, 21 August 2007



"I gave myself up so completely to present desires and pleasures that I had no energy to waste on mere wishful thinking." -- Simone de Beauvoir
.......sounds good to me --Amarinda
I exercise every morning. I hate it. I cannot be any plainer about it. Why do I do it? I lost a lot of weight a couple of years ago and I don’t want it finding and reclaiming me as weight is wont to do. I am not going for bodily perfection as I don’t believe it exists and all the airbrushed pictures of models or celebrities are not going to convince me of that. To be honest I don’t understand why people want to look like scrawny blonde air heads or pumped up or sucked in celebrities. Why think “I want to be like that.” Why can’t you just look like yourself? Why do you want to look like a dime a dozen? So what if you have wrinkles and sags and your boobs are too big or small? You are unique. Why swap that for common? So remember you are one of a kind and so go and eat that chocolate then take a walk around the block…it all evens out.

Anyway, a friend of mine who is a fitness freak – yes, it surprises me too that I know someone like this as most of my friends, god love, ‘em worship luxury and cars and your feet are for putting shoes on and not walking unless you have to –she reckons that once you start exercising you get so excited you can’t stop. To the best of my knowledge she is not on drugs but she is odd. And I cannot see how exercise can be addictive. Maybe I just don’t have an addictive personality - unless it’s do with consuming luscious calories. If I did not have to exercise I wouldn’t. I can’t see anything endorphin inducing in sweating away for 30 to 40 minutes a day. I would like to say I am toned and buff but it my case it would be more cream and puff. I know to keep the weight off I will have to exercise for the rest of my life. Thankfully this depressing thought can be drowned by several glasses of plonk (wine) to help make this concept doable.

So off boring exercising and on to the shocking things people do. Just yesterday there was a big to do in Australia about a politician going to a strip club in the US several years ago. Yes, it was a dumb thing to do especially for an aspiring politician. But people do dumb things. I am not about to moralize over someone going to watch a strip show. I went to one once when I was in the US…in Texas. Hello Texas. Great State – could be apart of Oz it’s so good. Anyway it was some free drinks thing in a bar and we wandered as Aussies do when free and drinks are mentioned in the same sentence. It was one of the funniest things I have ever seen. I could not stop laughing. How could you take men dancing around in electric blue g-strings seriously let alone waste cash on them? Yep, they had the bodies but there was no emotion that made them the slightest bit hot or sexy. So yeah the politician did dumb but people do dumber things and will getexcel in dumb better at this as time goes by. Who hasn’t made a mistake? And if you honestly believe you have led a mistake free life – have you really lived at all?

Speaking of living…when we last left the Emmeline saga Rafe and Shade were undergoing some weird arsed or should I say weird phallaxed based transformation into two women called Shadeena and Jenny. Uh huh…. Kelly was a paranoid that I, AJ, would change the whole blog serial by making her last entry into my standard to I don’t want to deal with this AJ dream sequence. So, ever sensitive to my friends’ fears, I, AJ, have not written this Tuesday’s instalment. I have called in…er…my dear friend Ethel to write it. Really, you can check with her. She would never lie. Read on gentle reader…

Emmeline sat up with a start. “Where am I? What are you doing here?” She looked at the faces around her. The last time she saw them it had been at the end of her red humming peeler as she fought the treacherous dogs off as they came at her.

“You hit your head.”

“What?” Emmeline backed away warily. Why was her supposed father Floyd Fleetfoot pretending to look like he cared?

“You fell at the Kings Anniversary ball as you twisted your ankle. You were dancing with the Wardoverian Ambassador.”

Did they think she was stupid? Everyone in 2052 knew Wardoveria did not exist anymore. She looked down at her clothes. A satin dress?

“Calm down darling,” Shade crooned reassuringly.

“Shade? I thought you had been zombie slimed with Rafe and the virgin assassin Rinalda

“Your wife has a vivid imagination,” murmured the large ruddy featured man

“Wife?” She yelped. Was that Reginald sucking his gums at her?

“We have been married over a year.” Shade caressed her hand gently. “Poor darling the pregnancy has been so hard on you.”

“I’m preggers?” She yelled in surprise as she sat up quickly. Something was very wrong here. “Where’s my peeler?”

“Why it’s in the kitchen drawer with the rest of the cooking utensils.”

“Cooking utensils?” Were they mad placing a peeler amongst ordinary metal gadgets? Did they want Armageddon?

“We’ll leave you to rest darling.” Shade leaned in and kissed her brow softly.

Once outside the men looked at each other warily.

“Do you think she bought it?”

“If she hasn’t we’re all dead men.” Shade looked at them significantly. “This is our only chance to take it from her.”

Please read www.annycook.blogspot.com tomorrow to see where this goes next. I expect Anny will have to body pierce someone sooner or later.

Monday, 20 August 2007

Pukeable Monday..


I spent most of my day at work today writing my next book which is about sexual submission. Do I know my job or what? To be honest, it wasn’t very busy at work. No, you’re right, it’s a crap excuse for doing personal stuff at work but it’s a Monday and I am always a little slow with excuses on a Monday. But in all fairness, my friends, who also work, were doing stuff all as well in their jobs. See? Now I am blaming them. It’s a Monday thing. No responsibility, no blame. I did not want to-they made me, it wasn’t my fault-I was pushed. You know the drill. Anyway I had received all sorts of email attachments with crazy stuff on them, weird jokes, and just I hate my job/life/partner/hair colour emails. I also had to come up with suggestions for various ways and means Ethel could smuggle out her latest shipment of office stationery without getting nabbed. Busy, busy, busy. I also chatted with my two blog serial cohorts and shook my head over Grasshopper's latest entry. See, none of what happened today was my fault.

I got called up stairs in the middle of a particularly hot little chapter I was writing. They needed to see me immediately. Anyway I went up to see what the fuss was about. As I walked up the stairs I stopped. What if they found had out what I was writing at work? What fabulous lie was I going to use to explain the use of sex toys on company time? Not me, my characters of course. I had a couple of options. Admit it and burst into tears as this always confuses men and I am very good at spontaneous tears. Or admit it coolly and say "was that all?” This is always a fun option. Anyway I walked into prepared for whichever scenario I had to face. It was neither. They remain blissfully unaware of what evil I do. Which is good as I was beginning to worry that I was slipping in my old age when it came to hiding stuff. Quel horreur...

They wanted to talk to me about – Skippy…what else? Skippy, my assistant, has given them an ultimatum – get rid of Amarinda or I leave. They told her "okay when did you want to leave?" See, the thing with ultimatums is you have to be sure they are so horrified at the possible consequences that they immediately agree to your terms. They didn’t. As annoying and gosh darn charming as I am, they like me. So now the Skipster is screwed. She either jumps ship of her own accord or sits and mutters curses against me. I hope it’s the latter as I find the low monotone incantations soothing.

I went and put mypaperwork in to get a new passport. I looked at my old passport photo and laughed. Was the really me? Across between Pollyanna and Susie Sunshine? Okay maybe if Susie was a bitch 4 days out of 5. I flicked through and looked at the stamps from all the different countries. Great memories. I came across two photos stuffed in the back of the old passport – both of me. I lined them up against my Pollyanna photo and the transition was amazing – from good girl, to not so good girl, to who the hell is that girl to the woman I am today. I am pleased to say I have not aged too badly. But then I like me and can never see anything bad – sagging and hailed damaged – but not bad.

I know you read Anny’s blog – www.annycook.blogspot.com and caught up with Emmeline. Did you read Grasshoppers open challenge to me on www.kkirch.blogspot.com?
"Can AJ hack it? Can she figure out a way to continue the blogga without resorting to a dream sequence? I don't know. She tells me I might be surprised."

Oh gee …I am so scared. Oh dear what will AJ do? How can AJ ever continue the blog serial without resorting to an AJ dream sequence? Is AJ screwed? I think not...

Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

www.freewebs.com/janetdavies

Sunday, 19 August 2007

Boring is as boring does...


As I was cleaning carrot juice off the ceiling – no, don’t ask – I thought about all the non-exciting things we do in life like cleaning up mess. Someone recently wrote that their life was boring and they had nothing of any note to talk or write about. I am in two minds about this. Yes, life can be bum numbingly boring sometimes. I am telling you nothing new there. Sometimes the only thing keeping you going is putting one foot in front of the other and the fact you have to eat or you will starve. What an exciting picture. But if you really look past all the boring work crap or kitchen sink dramas or domestic upheaval there are a lot of subtle, crazy things going on that I think we sometimes fail to notice.

Do you ever look at the people around you and think – bloody hell they are weird. How long have they been like this and what does that say about me for hanging out with them? That’s something interesting in your life. Something to talk and write about. But then I find most people fascinating even my irritating assistant Skippy because beneath that morose exterior of hers there has to be a story and why is it that she is in my life at this moment annoying the crap out of me? Am I just lucky or paying for past sins? Maybe there is a few of those floating around. No, I am not about to get all existential. It is Sunday after all. But all I say is look around you at the people. No one is boring and there is always something you can talk or write about…so write it, say it and don’t think you are boring or you will be. It’s all attitude baby.

People tell me I am ‘lucky’ that I can write books and that my life must be so interesting. I like my life but no one is going to make a movie of the week on it. I think if you are unhappy with what you have in your life you are inclined to feel bored because you are restless. So if you can change it, change it. Don’t sit and be bored. As for being ‘lucky’ I can write – the harder I work the luckier I get. No one is any luckier that any one else. We have to snap out of that mindset.

Anyway as I cleaned the juice away, I made up two lists in my head to keep my mind of the fact I was pissed off at myself that I had not put the lid on the juicer properly….no, I don’t want to talk about it.

Amarinda’s List (Anny and Kelly I expect similar lists from you and don’t tell me to bugger off)

Things I will never be.

1. Tall
2. Naturally blonde
3. Patient
4. Accepting of injustice
5. Able to wear yellow
6. Neat and tidy
7. Able to listen to crap without comment
8. Sweet
9. Perky
10. Able to whistle

Things I will do

1. Lose those last five, annoying bastard like kilos that just keeping hanging on.
2. Mix up cement to repair a broken piece on my patio….just not saying when.
3. Get to the US and get drunk and sloppy with Anny, Kelly and the other Frogs.
4. Find time to sit and read all the excellent e-books I am collecting.
5. Dye my hair purple
6. Clean my car
7. Keep making mistakes and moving on
8. Learn how to juggle
9. Sit and input the family history
10. Keep my shoes in a nice neat row for at least a week.

Holy snapping ducks! Did you read Anny’s entry in the Emmeline blog on www.annycook.blogspot.com? These girls are a deadset worry. Lord knows what Grasshopper will come up with on Monday on www.kkirch.blogspot.com. As always Emmeline takes a rest on Sunday as she is exhausted by all we put her through. If you would like to make a suggestion as to where you would like to see out blog drama go – please only clean, physically possible responses as we are pure of heart - drop me a line on amarinda_jones@yahoo.com.au. We would love to hear from you. By the way, I am disappointed I never heard from Mr Arnotts CEO about my blatant advertising of Tim Tams. However my email is always open to you Mr A any time you want to talk Tim Tams. I am the forgiving sort when it comes to chocolate.
The Goddess Within - Book one in The Goddess Grind series - released September 10 - sex, love and women who kick arse.

Mardi Keller cannot believe her ears when she hears an unknown man talking about how he wants her over a two-way radio. Her friends drag her to meet him and she discovers the man she has been lusting over from afar is one and the same. But can lust be love?

It only took once glance at Mardi for Stryker Reed to know she was the woman for him. He has no intention of letting the woman of his dreams get away. All he has to do now is convince her that love at first sight does exist and that he can love her like no other.

Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?
www.freewebs.com/janetdavies





Saturday, 18 August 2007

The pen is mightier than the sword...


Have you checked www.annycook.blogspot.com yet to see where out heroine Emmeline is or if the twins are still yellow? Is the virgin still a virgin? And what of first ships mate Reginald? You just know there is a story there. On Monday whizz over to www.kkirch.blogspot.com to see what she does to Floyd Fleetfoot. Can they all survive planet Zork? No, I have not been drinking…yet.

I bought a laptop today. Yes, I know everyone has one – and yes, hasn’t it taken me a while to buy one? However I rarely do anything just because someone else does. There has to be a need. I don’t have cable TV as I don’t have time to watch it. I don’t have a digital camera because that old reliable camera I have works a treat. Like many, I grew up in a household with not much money. I used to think everyone wore second hand clothes and had their black school shoes strapped together with white tape that was painted over black. I had a good childhood without even realising some parts were maybe not so good. But the thing is none of that mattered as I learnt the value of money. I look around at people today and it amazes me how they buy so much useless crap they don’t need because it’s the hot, in thing. Then they usually can’t pay for the hot, in thing and they screw up their credit and then whine about it. I know life is short but why can’t we learn to make do with what we have rather then throwing it away when something better comes along? As my ten year old niece said to me “Money does not grow on trees.” If a ten year old can get it why can’t others?

Okay that whinge over…back to the laptop - anyway after doing my homework (ok I did it at work) on researching laptops on the internet, I hauled my arse into the local shops. I am picky when it comes to sales assistants. I prefer a male if it is a large purchase as you can flirt with a man. Added to that other women are smart and they won’t give you as big a discount for cash because they know you are full of crap and they want to maintain their daily sales. I did the retail gig a couple of times. I know and I respect that. Anyway with that in mind I spotted Rodney. Perfect. Male, computer geek and the type of man that needed to be flattered. I generally start off very dumb in these situations – you know ask lots of questions and get them to give you advice as people, especially men, like to hand out advice. Then I follow this with flattery – “Gosh you are so knowledgeable for your age…ydha, ydah, ydah.” All the way through I flirt nicely. I know every radical feminist would be horrified at my actions but I can’t see why. Women have great power. We should use it in whatever form we have. Don’t tell me the Suffragettes would have knocked back a good cash deal because of some half arsed principle. The bottom line is Rodney felt good about himself and I got the laptop for an excellent price I can afford. It’s a win-win situation.

'Saw Sylvia my Tax Agent today. I walked in to find her and her assistant having one of those low, polite yet strained arguments that people have when they are pissed off but are too polite to say it. No, I never have those arguments. I just say it. Anyway Sylvia was holding her ground and she would not budge and the assistant looked like she would take the matter further if she had to. I was intrigued, sticky beak that I am. What have I walked in on?

Assistant – “I know you have it.”
Sylvia – “I have no idea where it is.”
Assistant – “You know how important it is to me.”

The tension in the room was palpable. I suspected I had walked in on a one of our chocolate bars is missing moments. They can get ugly in offices. Glaring eyes and bared teeth. That or someone had used the last of the milk.

Assistant – “I will report this to head office."
Sylvia – “Are you saying I stole it?”

Ooh what was it? Money? Diamonds?

Assistant - “I brought that blue pen from home.”

What? Blue pen? That’s what this was about?

Sylvia – “You know I only use black pens.”
Assistant – "I will prove someone has taken this pen in this office and you will have to apologise."

For the hour long appointment I had with Sylvia, the assistant searched everywhere for the blue pen. A couple of thoughts came to my mind – first – it’s just a god damn pen – get over it. Second – women in offices are the scariest people in the world. I know, I work in one. As for the pen saga, as I left the assistant was still glaring at Sylvia and I believe this means payback. Come tomorrow, one of Sylvia’s black pens will be missing....an eye for eye. Scary stuff…

Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?