Royalties. You publish books. You pay the authors. You bank the balance. Can it get any simpler?
Monday, 31 October 2011
Royalties. You publish books. You pay the authors. You bank the balance. Can it get any simpler?
Sunday, 30 October 2011
So I got an email from a writer colleague who was bemoaning the fact that she read a story by another writer we know and that writer had the characters declaring their love almost straight away ‘and how stupid is that?’ I don’t know how stupid that is. My understanding is there is no rhyme or reason to love and people can fall in love in a second, six weeks or six months from next Tuesday. Who says there has to be a time limit? And why can’t characters in a book fall in love fast?
I look at it this way. Romance books are fantasy. We all want to believe there is this man who will be so gob-smackingly overcome by our beauty and talent that once he gets over his speechlessness at how fantastic, smart and sexy we are he will declare his love for us within an hour of meeting us because to do anything else would be beyond him. Seems logical to me.
Ilsa: Kiss me. Kiss me as if it were the last time.
Saturday, 29 October 2011
- Persistence does pay off
- Don’t listen to nitwits. It just wastes your time
- Women don’t need balls. We have boobs and they are way more powerful
- Sex as a weapon is considered politically incorrect. Says who? Use what you got I say
- Sometimes you just have to read the instructions for no other reason than you can later say ‘but I did read the instructions. Do you think I’m silly?’
- Never say ‘do you think I’m silly’ as you pretty much have answered that question
- Run the Gauntlet is much better than Run the Gantlet. The latter sounds like a bunch of ducks running
- Divas are not always right. I like to point that out to them. You know who you are
- I must get me a duck
- Or some chooks
- The laundry always awaits you on a Saturday morning
- I’m not sure a duck or a chook does
- When all else fails, rely on yourself and know that you will never steer yourself wrong as no one loves you like you do
Friday, 28 October 2011
When news.com.au asked Barker why there's an option to chase a woman down the street, leapfrog her, punch her in the face then kick her in the groin - he told us it's a war out there.
"I think there's a perfectly good reason as to why people might punch people in the face – there's all kinds of missions," he said.
"We can definitely go down the philosophical rabbit hole, you could ask why Mario does something when he goes to save the Princess," Barker said.
Except that Mario doesn't bash call girls with a giant rubber penis.
"There's all kinds of weapons and we wanted something that was fun and crazy. There's a story to the game that definitely keeps it grounded," Barker said.
Yes, you may say it’s just a dumb game but you have to remember that there are some dumb, naïve, creepy, anti-social people out there whose reality is to play these games and some of them take them so seriously that they mimic what happens in that game in real life. Punching women in the face? Kicking her in the groin? How is this entertainment? And because the woman is labelled as a prostitute? She’s still a woman and a human being and she is not less so because of the job she does.
This is so wrong and anyone who views punching women in the face as just a game has serious issues. As for his ‘philosophical rabbit hole’ one could say he has his head up his arse and his thoughts come from there. Beating women with a 'giant rubber penis'? Where the hell do these people come from?
Violence against women – even in a stupid game – is wrong and unacceptable.
Thursday, 27 October 2011
Wednesday, 26 October 2011
When I was visiting my father in hospital last week, he complained that there was no clock in the room. I went and bought one for him. When I came back the nurse said to me “Would you believe someone stole the clock off the wall?” My father and I just looked at each other and smiled. A long time ago when my grandmother was in hospital, there was an uproar as both a clock and a mat went missing. All my relatives looked innocent and I’ll be loyal and say they most probably were…sorta…kinda...you know, possibly innocent. We have some light fingered, ne’re do wells 'opportunists' in the Jones family but then everyone has strange relatives. No, I’ve never stolen a clock on a wall. I’m too short.
Family. You can love ‘em, fight ‘em, ignore ‘em, hide and pretend you’re not home when they arrive, bail ‘em out of jail or wonder if you’re adopted but they’re there and a writer can always use ‘em in a story.
Tuesday, 25 October 2011
Unrequited love. There’s something sad, noble and in some cases just so bloody stupid about falling in love with someone you can never have. But people do. They can’t help themselves and we like to read about it or watch it in movies. I reckon the reason we find it interesting is we wonder what we would do in the same situation. Does he love her? Does she need him? Is there a possibility they could ever be? Should he/she throw away the current relationship because the passion felt for another is so overwhelming that not being with them would be wrong? Or is it just that – wildfire passion that will burn itself out so why give up on a stable relationship? I believe it’s the unfathomables of why two people – totally diverse – find passion and the fact you can love more than one person in your life, that interests us. Love. It’s a bitch of a thing and yet we still do it. Go figure.
Monday, 24 October 2011
…or story with your sex? Sometimes too much sex does not fit a story. Yes. Shock. Horror. If the hero and heroine are not fucking like bunnies in the most bizarre ways then the story can’t be much good can it? Ah, no, that would be wrong. Sex is good but a plot is golden I think it’s much harder to write a story with plot and less sex than a sexed up story with two/three/57sexual partners who have been bonking each other silly and you’re reading it and thinking what they hell is this story about other than sex and is anyone going to be able to walk straight tomorrow? Yes, my hand goes up. I have written books with a high sexual content. They are what the realistic call in the business ‘fuck books’ and not great literature as the unrealistic is-my-book-number-one-please-vote-for-me-or-die would call them.
Yes, yes, yes, sex in books is fantasy and generally bizarre and improbable and we like to wonder what he will do to her next and are his friends going to join in and what’s that the tattooed one carrying in his hand and is it legal but who cares as long as there is enough batteries. Fantasy. It’s wondrous. Reality. I would bet my arse, and I have a lot of arse to bet so it’s a sure thing, that 97.5% of readers want to read about love and emotion. Sure, sex completes those feelings. While you can be in love forever, I doubt you can be in sex forever…but what do I know?
Sunday, 23 October 2011
- fish will eat stale white bread
- I can lean on the railings of the bridge and watch said fish for hours
Friday, 21 October 2011
Thursday, 20 October 2011
I’ve been pondering it. What if you lust after someone but you're not sure of their feelings because they don’t show them so you think ‘okay, he/she, doesn’t want me’ so you hide your feelings because there’s nothing worse them rejection. Actually, baked beans are worse than rejection…but I digress…so you hide your feelings and they hide their feelings. No one touches anyone or lets go or gives in to lust or orgasms or just has a bloody good time. Damn shame we’re all so careful.
Wednesday, 19 October 2011
Weird Body Stuff...
Writers and readers deal with the human body all the time, especially inventive erotica writers. So readers and writers, did you know?
Scientists say the more you dream the higher your IQ. (Sigh. I dream so little.)
The largest cell in the human body is the female egg and the smallest is the male sperm.
You use 200 muscles to take one step.
The average woman is five inches shorter than the average man. (Hmm. I'm out of that category too.)
A full bladder is roughly the size of a soft ball.
The human brain cell can hold five times as much information as an encyclopedia. (If mine does, its like a hard drive, when it gets too full it deletes itself.)
It takes food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
The average human dreams last two to three seconds. (I don't buy this one. It takes longer than that to wake me up from a bad one.)
Men without hair on their chest are more likely to get cirrhosis of the liver than men with hair. (Huh?)
At the moment of conception you spent about half an hour as a single cell.
There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet. (Lots of information on feet here.)
Your body gives off enough heat in thirty minutes to bring half a gallon of water to a boil. (I think males have a better shot at the temperature thing.)
The enamel on your teeth is the hardest substance in your body.
Your teeth start growing six months before you are born.
Your thumb is the same length as your nose.
Since it’s the month of Tricks and Treats, you can get 50% of Vampire Bay by using the code LS73D at Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/72332
Tuesday, 18 October 2011
WORDS OF LOVE
How to Write Your Romance Novel
WHERE DO I START?
The largest step in writing is deciding to write; whether your work becomes an epic novel, a short story or novella, the biggest decision you face is—where do I start?
If you were to walk into any bookstore or visit one online, their shelves are filled with any number of books telling you the whats, whys and wherefores of writing. You can read them all and once you finish, you will shake your head and drop your forehead on the table, groaning.
Out of all that material, most of it was a lot of help on how to set up a manuscript with all the proper margins and spacing. None or some of that information may benefit you as a writer, but you still didn’t find any help with the writing part. Every writer and how they create their work, will do it in a different manner.
Always remember, there is no set way to write, one method is as good as the next. Let’s find the most comfortable way for you to write.
You made the decision to write, now you need a place to write, a cubby or space that is the most comfortable for you. It can be the back porch, the kitchen or at the computer desk. Find that certain place in your house that is you. When I say you it is because we are all different and we aren’t in high school any longer, so we aren’t chained to the old rules. Mom may feel the most comfortable in the family room where she can keep an eye on the kids. Another may need complete privacy. Each of us has our own comfort zone, find yours.
Set up your space, make it a work area, but also make it a place that you want to be. You are going to spend many hours in your space, so arrange it the way you want it. If you have certain music, candles or plants that you might like having around you, include them in your space. Whatever feels right. Moms, don’t be afraid to set up some rules about your space, tell the children they have their play area and this is your area. They will listen, tell them what you are creating. You can give them the appropriate writing tools because they will probably start writing/drawing stories like their mom.
Next, you need to write for you. That’s right, you can write on paper with pen or pencils and don’t forget the erasers, or you can compose right on the computer screen. Find the most comfortable medium for you to write. Think of your writing the same way an artist looks at the canvas, they use acrylics and oils, you use pen, pencil or the keyboard. Try them all if you want, just find the one that allows you to envision the words.
Words, now there is an image. Words are the artist strokes on the canvas. Every word you write creates a picture. They are the art on your canvas. How you pull them all together will give you a beautiful work of art. In one story or novel, there are many different pictures to be created. Like an artist, the more you paint with your words, the more proficient you become. You can think of each chapter or scene as the picture you captured. The art of writing is an ongoing experience that allows you to continually, learn and evolve.
Try out your space. Write anything, write a letter, a recipe, a note to your love, a thought or experience you went through at the grocery store. Your world, the whole day is filled with stories, write one of them. They can be small or an adventure, don’t worry about how it sounds or even if it makes sense, just write. As you write get the feel of your canvas, the page forming before you should feel comfortable.
On the computer you can set the page so your fonts on the screen are larger, you should never strain your eyes to see the page, just go to the zoom and set it up to the size that works, say 125%. Make sure it feels right and is the most comfortable.
If you are using paper and pencil, make sure your have the right paper. College rule is smaller than regular rule, make sure the one you pick fits you. You can use notebooks or sheets of paper, try both and pick the best one. This also goes for the pens or pencils, the #2 pencil is usually good, mechanical pencils are great just make sure you get the right lead. Pens need to flow as you write, not cut into the paper. The gel pens are very nice to write with as they slide across the paper.
If at all possible I would recommend that you try writing directly into your computer or laptop. The computer is such a magnificent tool that will spoil you as you become familiar with all it offers. You can write notes to yourself as you craft your story; research is at your finger-tips. The computer can automatically fix misspellings. Grammar settings usually don’t work that well with Romance writing, but it will alert you to some basic writing mistakes. Writing directly onto the computer will save you a lot of time when it comes to putting your book on the computer.
Personally, pen and paper holds a soft spot in my heart. I still have many book pages to type into the computer. Practicality rules that the computer is more efficient. If you haven’t typed directly into the computer, give it a try, it takes time to get the feel for the keypad, but once you do you’ll be excited over how fast the words appear.
Here we are—we have our special space to write within, our medium or canvas is ready, now you begin…oh, but wait, what do I write?
I hope you enjoyed this look into Words of Love. Particapants in the series have asked for them to be in book form. It took a while but it is finally available.
Remember to always follow your dream.
You can read more about Words of Love at my publisher’s website:
Words of Love will be at the retail outlets within a week. Check Words of Love’s progress at: http://www.hippiechicks68.com/
Hippie Chicks 68 is still under construction, please excuse the dust. lol
Monday, 17 October 2011
Incest stories sell...
One of the biggest sellers in that gray area between erotic romance and soft pornography, is incest stories. And incest stories sell. Bigtime. The top-selling authors writing these stories are making a very good income. The titles often include the word “Daddy”. Daddy’s little virgin or schoolgirl or best friend or even slut. Of course, he’s not her biological father, he’s just a considerably older man fulfilling his fantasies with a barely legal young woman.
And although this is a male fantasy, women read these stories too. Is it because they are pushing the boundaries? Deliciously naughty? Is it because there are so few real taboos left in the erotic romance genre? Or is it the knowledge that although the man is fantasizing about the young woman she’s not his daughter and not underage - he’s just able to pretend she is?
But what’s in it for the woman? What is the attraction for her in a man easily old enough to be her father? Unless he’s very rich of course. But being from such different generations their lifestyles and traditions would be very different. What would they talk about after sex? What does he think when she lies in bed tweeting about their sex as he’s exhausted and ready for a long nap?
I’ve never written anything like these stories, but the idea of them has me walking the line between fascination and finding them icky. I write MM, FF, and all different types of ménages. Yes these stories may push the envelope, but the characters are all well over the legal age of consent, and all of a similar age to each other. My stories always have a HEA, whereas “incest” stories often don’t. After all, if the man is thirty years older than the woman, and engaging in a lot of acrobatic sex, the chances of him having a heart attack would be rather high.
What do you think about these stories?
My newest release is the MM story, “Cocksure”.
Lloyd is a loner. He doesn’t believe he’ll ever find a partner he can love. So he spends his evenings drinking in gay bars, either getting drunk or going off with a stranger for a fast fuck. But then he meets KC and his world changes.
KC’s not about to let Lloyd harden his heart to the possibilities between them. KC knows Lloyd’s the man for him and he’ll use whatever hot, dirty and sexy persuading he has to in order win his man over.
Lloyd met the other man’s gaze and gave the tiniest nod in response to the man’s raised eyebrow. The man was truly sex-on-a-stick. It was too much to hope he’d also be caring. Lloyd had years of experience that told him the good looking ones were always the least interested in pleasuring a partner. They knew they didn’t have to please anyone, because there’d always be people who wanted to please them.
Well, tonight he wanted more than just a quick fuck against a wall in the alley. Tonight he wanted an hour in a bed, at the very least. He might never be worthy of a man’s love, but he would demand a modicum of consideration. Lloyd straightened his shoulders and gave the man a challenging look.
To his surprise the man grinned, then stood up, very obviously rearranging his cock as he did so. The man’s ultra-tight black jeans left nothing to the imagination. His cock was a long, thick ridge stretching the fabric to the limit.
Buy link: http://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-cocksure-608368-145.html
Sunday, 16 October 2011
Yesterday morning I burned the oatmeal. This is not a new occurrence. Rather it is the norm. My friend Jane and the house hunk don't even find it a subject worth discussing as I always burn the oatmeal. You might ask why make oatmeal if you always burn it? Because I need to eat oatmeal. There's always enough unburned oatmeal to satisfy my needs.
Why does it burn? Mostly because I have too many things going on at one time. I set the timer and then immerse my concentration on some other project to the extent that I don't hear the timer. It burns. I scrape off the top layer and put the pot in the sink to soak. And move on.
Life is pretty full of burnt oatmeal. All those wrong turns and bad choices we make in life have consequences. How we handle the inevitable consequences determines what our life is like. We can wail and gnash our teeth and cry over our burnt oatmeal. We can beat ourselves up or blame some one else for calling us on the phone while our oatmeal was cooking. But the truth is that none of those things really address the fact that we still have burnt oatmeal.
Or we can salvage what we can, put the pan to soak, and move on. There will likely be a lot of pans of burnt oatmeal in our lives. If I waste time obsessing about the burnt oatmeal, that's time I've lost forever. Time I could have put to more constructive use. Oh yeah, and while I'm moaning and groaning the salvaged oatmeal is getting cold. Who wants to eat cold oatmeal?
There are things I can do to "pretty up" my oatmeal. I can add nuts, raisens, peanut butter, brown sugar, nutella, or cream. All of those make the oatmeal more palatable. And unless I tell someone, they'll never know that I burned the oatmeal. See? Life is what you make it--even burnt oatmeal.
Dancer's Delight from Ellora's Cave
Alpheli Solution from Resplendence Publishing
Phantom's Rest from Passion in Print
Simmering Romance with a Smile
Saturday, 15 October 2011
I’m off way down south from Cairns to the Gold Coast/Surfers Paradise for almost a week, due to work. Before I hit the coast I detour slightly back north to Nambour Hospital to see my father and fight officialdom and a 'no can do spirit.' That is not on when it comes to my family. Not only can we, we will and you'll regret making us do it. Then I swing back south to Surfers for the work gig. Life. It's all swings, roundabouts and knock-down, drag 'em outs, baby.
The Gold Coast is as you would expect. Bikinis, glitz and glamour. I’m not into that. Give me a good old Far North Queensland beach that’s unglamorous and simple – like me – any day. But duty calls and they’re paying so off I go. The blog will not be empty. I’ll wander back and forward and say what I think and some friends are dropping by to give their thoughts.
Thursday, 13 October 2011
I had this photo on facebook this morning. It’s an important photo. Why? Because women need to feel like they can be normal if they are overweight. In fact – they’re allowed to. It annoys the hell out of me that some women are made to feel less beautiful or inferior by the way they look.
Naturally slim? I’m happy for you. Trying to lose weight? Do it for you and not because some jerk called you fat and ugly. Not ready to lose the weight yet? Do you feel ‘safe’ being the size you are? I get that. I do. When you’re ready you will do it. Only you know when that will be. I have total faith you will find that time. Are you a man who wants a women to have a perfect face, arse and boobs? Is your penis 9 inches long? Do you look like Gerard Butler? Are you as smart as Stephen Hawkings? No? Think about it.
The truest heart beats with honour and integrity despite the body it is housed in.
Wednesday, 12 October 2011
**with thanks to a friend
Tuesday, 11 October 2011
I was sitting at work today thinking to myself for the 957th time ‘I need to run my own business.’ Yes, yes, I know lot’s of people screw up running a business but I’m not lots of people. I’m me. Unique. Talented. Mouthy. Persistent. Annoying. Confident. Persuasive. Irritating. Bossy. And down right cute as a bugs ear. No really. This is my latest goal in world domination. I will do it.
Monday, 10 October 2011
I had a moment today when a man questioned me as to why two women were together. Were they lesbians? What’s wrong with women like them? My response. Men like you. Save me from narrow-minded small balled men.
Saturday, 8 October 2011
So, another small publisher folded. I’m not surprised. Publishing, like any business, is just that. A business. Things happen – boom, bust, cash in, cash out, debtors, creditors, bad decisions, lousy decisions, best decision? Move on if you’re no good at business.
In my previous job, I worked with shit loads of debtors. There are those that have no clue what they’re doing and they get into trouble. There are those who are shonky dealers who don’t give a crap if they owe money because they have money and they’re not going to share it because if you were stupid enough to buy or invest from them then their theory is that’s your problem for being stupid. I’ve read many administrators letters, touchy feely lets all be one in this debt deed of company arrangements and I’ve sat in liquidators where the bottom line is ‘you’re getting stuff all.’
So, publishers going under? No big surprise. I believe – actually I know – the mistake new, small pubs make is by taking on multiple authors before they have worked out all the pitfalls and are ready to handle it with the time needed. Hence, Scarlet Harlot Publishing will only take on authors when I’m ready, satisfied and have the time. Otherwise, the Harlot’s doing very nicely thank you.
Your publisher gone under? Stop whining. Do two things. Assess whether the loss is worth hiring a lawyer. If it’s a couple of hundred dollars, I would write it off on taxes. But that’s me. I’m realistic. And two? Learn from it. Business - publishing – is not fair or pretty. Don't go into it being a sap.
Friday, 7 October 2011
In accordance with our paranoia and the fact that we don’t want people to know that we do really suck and we rip our authors off, the contents of this email are confidential. That means we will stamp our feet and pull faces if you distribute, copy, post, share, send smoke signals, use sign language or charades to make the contents available to anyone on earth, the galaxy and parallel universes. You need express permission from Lusty Libido Publishing or its drunken, psychopathic owner to speak about anything…at all.
Basically, that translated means they are scared shitless that someone will think they’re useless, inept, buggers who could not organize a piss up in a brewery. Let’s face it, if you’re doing the right thing by your authors, why do you need bullshit sig lines? You should not be worried if an author says something. Authors are allowed to do that. It’s called free speech.
Hardy Marchant has the ability to summon what she desires to her. Like a lusty prate. Problem is he's reluctant to let her go. To escape his attentions she wills herself to a safe place. When she ends up being in bed with three naked people, the fun really starts.
Patrick Delacourt, vampire, is fascinated by Hardy and is ready to offer his services to rid her of the pesky pirate who has followed her. Hardy, while attracted to Patrick, isn't sure is she wants any more lovers in her life. But then a girl can change her mind.
Thursday, 6 October 2011
Wednesday, 5 October 2011
So, I was walking through the shopping centre in my lunch hour with my ulltra healthy salad in hand…sigh…when I came across the cops. One was staked out near the shoe shop and the other was near the sunglass shop and they were both holding walkie-talkies and looking through the glass of those shops at the entrance to Big W (like Kmart). I slowed my steps waiting for action. Nothing. I slowed some more as a bunch of security guys rushed in. More nothing. I came to a complete stop and pretended I was interested in tacky Aussie souvenirs that had ‘Cairns’ spelt incorrectly but then what do you expect of things made in China? Still nothing happening - just men hovering and talking into walkie-talkies. Sadly, I then realized I had to go back to work with my salad and I realized being a grown up sucks.
Tuesday, 4 October 2011
I was talking to a very good friend today about happiness. Our conclusion? Well, we didn’t really have one but I’ve pondered this on the way home from work and while I have no definitive answer on happy I do know this –
- Doing what I like when I like pleases me.
- Having good friends who I don’t have to explain myself to is excellent
- Walking along the creek through the rainforest is peaceful
- Being the mistress of my own destiny is empowering
- Being free and able to speak my mind without fear of reprisal is priceless
- Being 47 and fearless is everything I wanted to be when I was 6.
All in all, I’m going to go with the doability of pleasure and leave happy to the greeting card companies. You wouldn’t want Hallmark to be unhappy would ya?
Monday, 3 October 2011
I wonder if female writers of today realize how much they owe to female writers like George Elliot’s. I expect not as writing today for a woman is no big deal. If fluffier and pretty much anyone can do it and not a lot of people think for themselves any more. They're all too caught up worrying what everyone else thinks. There are no more ground breaking writers out there with a strong voice. There are just mimics.
Sunday, 2 October 2011
So, I saw this picture of a blond guy dressed in this nerdy looking 1970’s style silver space suit that appeared to have been made by his over enthusiastic Auntie Maud. I laughed my arse off when I saw it. I thought it was a joke – but nope - he was one of the models/dancers/strippers/whatevers at this years Romanticon book convention. I just don’t see a poor man’s Luke Skywalker as sexy but then everyone has a fantasy man and some women would possibly – maybe - okay probably not - get off on a man dressed in tin foil. Who am I to question them? Maybe I’ll take another look at Robbie the Robot and visualize him naked.
Saturday, 1 October 2011
Few people will ever understand you a little bit let alone know who you are as a person. That’s probably a good thing. Be exclusive.
I think we should all start wearing capes and boots…possibly masks. We need to have more fun
I need a fairy godmother…not a godfather as I can do the horses head in the bed thing myself if need be.
One day, all chickens will be liberated and allowed to smoke, drink and get fat and die of heart disease.
Do you think sloths get pissed off that everyone thinks they’re lazy? Maybe they’re just slow or free spirited hippy-love children who reject fast paced, commercialism.
The one thing we all agree on is sex and it doesn’t require having a university degree to do it.
Do you want fries with that?
If ‘legend has it’ shouldn’t it stay with legend?
You should always wish upon a star ‘cause you never know…