You're a freak...

So, I hauled arse down to the local podiatrist due to the whole issue of muscle pain in the side of my knee after running. It’s called, funnily enough, ‘runners knee.’ Anyway, I figured due to my lovely flat feet – I feel having flat feet means you have a better grip on the earth - that the issue may lie there. Yes, I’m big on self diagnosis and generally I’m right because I’m such a smart arse. The foot doctor person analysed, prodded, flexed, measured and made me walk back and forward on this computerized mat thingy. The diagnosis? Did you know you are very flexible? Yes I did. It's my party trick. You have very flexible ligaments. Well, I’m proud of them. Your feet are very flexible. Oh stop it, now you’re just making me blush. But your feet are a weird shape that’s not normal. So, I’m a freak? I can’t say that of course. But we both can think it. She just smiled. Thankfully I have no wish to be normal and with that I ordered bright green orthotics and will start running again, freaky feet and all. You can't keep a good, freaky-footed woman down. I think Mao Tse Tung said that...or maybe not. 

I'm now thinking one of my heroines will be a freaky footed person too and the hero - so taken with her freakiness - will not be able to control his love/lust for her. It could be some weird sexual thing. We've seen everything else in ebookland.   

What freaks me out…

…is when you walk into a store and every staff member you pass by says ‘ hello’ in a psychotically happy way that makes you hold your handbag like a weapon just in case they attack. Frankly, I think it’s abnormal for a business to ask their employees to act like they're stoned and everything is groovy and wonderful. Or is that just me?

I was in a local hardware store this morning looking for something my usual hardware store didn't have, and after half a dozen perky/creepy/hippie freak/love child/is-it-a-lovely-day-to-day/drop-your-handbag-and-we’ll-be-friends-hellos, I stopped one of them and said ‘that’s really annoying.’ They just smiled insanely at me and I backed away wishing I had a crucifix on me. Will I go back there again? Not without a shotgun full of rock salt.