Reality...does it work for you?

- reality is the poor man's drug. Want a head spin? Deal in real life dramas. That will get your mind whirling and you heart thumping and it costs nothing but maybe a brown paper bag to blow in if you are hyperventilating.
- want to walk on the wild side? Speak you mind and so what trouble it lands you in – trust me - lots

Someone sent me this quiz yesterday and the questions interested me. Go try it out - quiz. I am apparently 96% real according to this quiz. Now – this is not necessarily a good thing as 96% real gets me into 100% of trouble. So how real are you and is it better to be less real and live an easier life. Reality – does it work for you?

My God – Monday – can it get any realer? What's to love about about this god awfully pukeable day? A psychic once told me I needed to learn to spring out of bed every day because my life would change when I did. Oh please....this morning I caught the big toe of my left foot in the right cuff of my flanno pj's - don't ask how - I'm not sure - and I fell flat on my face in the shag pile rug on the floor in my bedroom. Spring out of bed? The best I can do is fall ouy and do no major harm. But it seemed apropos for a Monday.

I drove all the way to work thinking - turn around - flee, run, hide - it would have taken so little to turn Ida, my car around, as I sensed she would have been with me in whatever madcap thing I wanted to do. I think it's important to be one with your car. Anyway it was one of those Thelma and Louise moments but for the fact I’m not driving off any cliff for any reason. Anyway, I didn’t turn around - some good girl instinct kicked in – I hate that when it happens - and I did the go-to-work-thing. Yes, I know everyone hates Monday's and most people find their jobs pukeable and I get paid and the blue bird of happiness will probably swing by and free me from the crapiousness of my job as my prince on the white horse arrives with the glass slipper…yeah, I’m rambling. It’s Monday. I’m entitled.

I got whistled at today. I am in two minds about men who wolf whistle. Firstly I think grow up and are you taking the piss? (Aussie for pulling my leg) And secondly, against every rad fem instinct I have I think - really? Me? In my assassin black? On a Monday when I feel like death? That's attractive? Yes, life is a conundrum isn't? You think - how rude of you to whistle then you do the girl thing - gee me? Yes, I snapped out of it pretty fast. However I have this basic belief that because I am a woman I believe I am allowed to have conflicting opinions because genetically it's acceptable to balance out female hormones…and if you don’t believe that then shut up.

Mind you not that I would have taken said wolf whistler up on his offer. I have just got to the stage that I am not interested in taking up with any man because it all seems too difficult. I don’t follow up flirting or calls or moments because I like living alone. I thrive on it. I don't want to encourage any man. I have this measure of peace in being alone that outweighs other considerations. I guess it comes down to what price you will pay to be comfortable and at this stage no man has managed to match that and I expect won't because I'll suspect I will find reason to up the price so he can never compete. I believe some people are hopeless romantics - I am a hopeless realist. Hmm…a bit frigging deep for a Monday but there it is.

Someone is on the television right now talking about ‘numbers’ and how they can guide your destiny and that by following your numbers you can change you life. You know, it’s based on your birthdate etc and you only have to pay someone X amount of $$ to tell you how to live your life. By adding and subtracting you apparently get your ‘life lesson number.’ My theory – and it’s free - add up every hard lesson you have learnt in life, divide it by your shoe size and then get the ice-cream out of the freezer and eat it while counting your toes. I guarantee things will look better.

That’s it – short and sweet – like me – okay – the short bit is true. Monday – over and done with. When I rule the world I will abolish Mondays and we will all only work two days a week for the same pay. Now that’s my kind of reality.

www.freewebs.com/amarindajones/
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?