I had nothing – and I mean nothing - to do at work today so I wasted time as
expected by surfing the net looking for jobs, nail foils and other odd things
when I saw this –
I find it fascinating that some public servant is in charge
of listing public toilets. Bet that’s a fun job. Anyway, it’s not the first
time I’ve seen it. I wrote about it in Thigh High – an exceptionally Aussie
themed book that a publisher thought would be a good series to do. It wasn’t.
Too much Aussie confuses people. But there you go…
Thigh High….0.99 cents – what do you have to lose? https://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-thighhigh-600244-340.html
Excerpt…
As for Amberwarra
Falls
“I still don’t know why he’s coming back to
bung in a gym where Davo’s book emporium burnt down. Not like we need
newfangled stuff like that.”
It hadn’t been so much an emporium as a dusty old shop that sold
tattered old books, comics, newspapers and once a week the local poker game had
been held in the back storeroom. It was on poker night that the store went up
in flames. Many said it was the cigars the men liked to smoke. Others blamed a
mosquito coil used to keep the insects at bay.
The real reason? The fire brigade found
evidence a scented candle had been burning
during the game. It was thought someone had knocked it over. Of course no man
admitted to it mainly because being caught anywhere near anything scented and
girlie was not something any of them wanted to claim.
“Yeah, we don’t need new stuff in the
Falls.” Dusty always agreed with anything Blue said. They were mates since
kindergarten. “Besides we’re already on the map.”
Maz rolled her eyes. She knew which map they were referring to. “That
map is hardly prestigious.”
“Yeah, but if you look us up on gaggle—”
“Google,” Maz corrected Dusty.
“Same bloody difference.”
Merlene picked up and rattled the swear tin at him.
“Fair suck of the sav, Merle. Bloody’s not
a swear word.”
“Cough up, sunshine.” Merlene waited for
Dusty to pay up for his swearing.
“Jeez, you’re a mad cow. You and your
bloody wombats.” Dusty threw a collection of coins into the tin.
“You used two ‘bloody’s.”
Dusty rolled his eyes and added a ten dollar note. “Happy now? Anyway,
as I was saying, anyone can see the toilet block in Captain
Cook Park
got Amberwarra Falls
fourth prize in the cleanest toilets in Queensland
Maz smiled and wondered how Captain Cook would feel about being a
namesake of a park that held a toilet block that was the second biggest
attraction to the now nonexistent falls. There was even a shiny
brass plaque proclaiming they were fourth best.
“Yeah, dunnies are important if you pass
through Amberwarra as there’s nothing for miles until Krogan’s Crossing.” Blue
slapped some more money on the counter for a refill.
Merlene pulled the beer, flicking the tap with an expert hand. “And your
Auntie Beryl does a roaring trade with her crocheted doll toilet roll cover
stand that she’s set up just outside those toilets.”
“That’s right.” Blue thanked Merlene for
the beer. “Beryl does big business for the Pioneer Women’s nag-fest group and
no one gets past her without buying one.”
That was true. Auntie Beryl could sell toilet roll covers to aliens from
Mars. It wasn’t so much she was a great salesperson or that the
dolls were attractive. They weren’t. It came down to the fact that Beryl,
at fifty-three, with her fake raven-black locks and large breasts and forceful
voice, often stopped people in their tracks. She was like an aging kewpie doll,
complete with Doris Day bow in her hair. Once stopped, they often walked away
with at least one crocheted doll and a few less dollars in their pockets.
No one said no to Beryl.
Yeah...we're a weird mob.
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