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Showing posts with label Barbie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Barbie. Show all posts

Saturday, 31 March 2012

Get back in your box...

So, I was a boot camp and we had to pair up with someone else to run through a course. The pairing up did not depend on being of equal fitness nor did you have to do the same thing at the same time. It was more about balancing numbers and everyone having an equal chance to do a particular exercise. Sounds simple? Sounds fair? Well no, of course it can’t be if you are a so called pretty or cool girl and you are paired up with one you perceive as being less than magnificent than yourself. What am I talking about? Yesterday, I experienced something I had not come across since high school. Someone tried to dismiss me as not worthy of being in their presence. Oh fuck off, I say. That person? A skinny, angular chick who considers herself too beautiful to be around anyone less than her supposed equal. When paired up with me she made it clear I wasn’t in her league. What is it with these women? Why do they never grow out of that high school mentality? Are they frozen in time and too scared to move on fearing that if they do not maintain that plastic, bitchy edge then they have nothing? I tend to believe that is the case. Lordy they’re sad, pathetic creatures. And being in your league? No thanks. I’d rather eat bark.

Anyway, I stepped away from exercise Barbie and paired myself up with an ‘uncool’, dishevelled bloke who was standing all alone. No one should be discriminated against when it comes to exercise or sport because the thing with sport is that it’s universal. It matters not who you are, the colour of your skin, your weight, how you look or if you have the longest legs or the shortest shorts. It’s sport. It’s sweat. It’s effort. It’s determination. It’s about having a go. Frankly, I don’t give a crap if you deem yourself too damn beautiful to associate with others and I'm sure as hell not going to fall apart if you don't like me.

For the so called ‘cool’ girls who think they are just too perfect? Grow up or get back in the box you came in. We need real people not the simulated kind. We have enough of those in politics.

Thursday, 18 August 2011

Just my opinion but…

I don’t think Yankee Politicians know if their bums are on fire. Why? Well, I’ve seen the news stories coming out of the US regarding the bun fight over pollies who want to take a tilt at the top job as President. Lordy, I have not seen so many plastic people in one room unless it’s been in the Barbie section of a toy store. And insincere? Much? I just have to wonder who buys what these people say. Despite their claims, they’re not ‘one of the people’ – they’re ‘people’ are on planet Barbie where everything is pink and men have plastic mounds for penises.

Yes, yes, Aussie pollies are just as stupid. And why should I care what the US does when I’m in Australia? Because the US has the potential to screw up the world by the choices it makes. And let’s face it, that Michelle chick who was obviously ‘advised’ incorrectly about it being Elvis’ birthday and not the anniversary of his death? If you can’t get something that simple right how can you handle money, climate change, war, poverty, healthcare etc? Hmmm….

Wednesday, 1 June 2011

Couplets…



So I was talking to a friend and the idea of individual identity within a couple came up and for the life of me I think that would be bloody hard to have. Why? Because you’re always teamed up with another person – Ken and Barbie, Wilma and Fred, Prince Charming and Cinderella. How hard is it to be just Ken? Do people ask where Barbie is? I absolutely believe that couples are the norm in the world and if you’re not a part of one you’re odd. That’s ok – I like being odd. But what if you uncouple? What happens to years of your identity being tied up with the other half? How would people deal with Wilma ditching Fred? They’re so much a part of each other questions would naturally be asked. Can Wilma be allowed to be a single woman again? What if she picks up with a non-Fred? How do married couples avoid the tag team tag? Yes, yes, it’s all about love but people are single before they become a couple and how hard is it to merge lives without losing identities? Look at romance books. If the heroine walks away from the hero at the end to live her own life readers wonder what her problem is.

Just one of my many ponderances for the day….

Friday, 20 August 2010

Chuck another snag on the barbie…


…Fairy Floss, my doctor, rang to check how I was feeling due to my blood pressure ‘being in my boots’ – it’s very, very low because of my dodgy thyroid. Anyway, she said ‘well, have a good weekend and have a couple of snags tomorrow.’ ‘Snags’ are sausages and tomorrow is voting in the Aussie Federal election. Voting is generally held at the local schools. Sausage sizzles (snag in bread with onions and sauce (ketchup) – “$1.50 please love”) are set up by the enterprising school associations to get extra $$ from the punters who have come along to vote…or really just to have a hot snag and onions. It’s all very Australian and frankly it’s the only way I’m happy to go and vote.

But stuffed if I know whom I’m voting for. I’m pissed the Labor party dumped Kev – our previous Prime Minister – in a very un-Aussie move but the other mob – the Liberal coalition is a bunch of blue bloods who can’t tell their arse from their elbow. If the old saying that “the people get the government they deserve” is true, well then fuck, we apparently deserve bugger all.

I’ll have to chew long and hard on my snag as I contemplate which nong to elect for a crack at the top job this time. This may require 2 snags...

Amarinda Jones
Penn Halligan
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book

Wednesday, 22 April 2009

Wednesday...


A friend who has issues with Barbie sent me this...of course, this will never happen to the skinny bitch but I understand where she's coming from.
I am most knackered....back tomorrow.
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Monday, 28 January 2008

Barbie rules...


Dear Amarinda,
Here is your horoscope for Tuesday, January 29:
You have a revelation today. Something you've mulled over for weeks suddenly becomes clear. Don't waste time over thinking the next step. Tune into your instinct and act quickly before the opportunity passes.

Oh boy! A revelation! And there’s mulling involved and I am not to think….sounds like a day at work.


Finmctionwere – what does this mean? I write these obscure abbreviated notes to myself as I am writing. I saw this one today. What was I thinking? It’s obviously some brilliant abbreviation for some fantastic idea I had but I will never know. So – leave a comment on this blog (with your email address) with what you think Finmctionwere means and the answer I like best will receive the first copy of Shades of Gray when it is released 6th February through Ellora’s Cave. The competition closes at midnight (USA EST) Thursday 31st January and the winner will be announced on Friday 1st February’s blog. Enter as many times as you like. If you are under Witness Protection and don’t want everyone knowing your email address then by all means email your answer to me on
amarinda_jones@yahoo.com.au – put ‘Amarinda comp’ in the subject line.


My editor sent me edits – as Editors do – that’s why they’re called Editors as opposed to people who read manuscripts and put red marks all over them …anyway one of her comments was about ‘checking my Barbies’ when it came to a particular sex scene. Were you aware that some writers use Barbie dolls for ‘positioning’. I find it fascinating as it would never have occurred to me to do this. Unfortunately I cannot find anyone who admits to putting Barbie into compromising positions for the sake of art. I am sure it’s because writers all write from experience when it comes to sex…if you believe that I have a bridge in Sydney with harbour views I’d like to sell you…just drop me an email with “bridge sale" in the subject line.

So Barbie – glamorous, unrealistic blonde bimbo or manipulative, power hungry kick arse role model? I like Barbie. I liked her when I was a kid chopping off her hair and I like her as an adult. Yes, she is blonde and ridiculously shaped but


the thing is to me she is an icon of power. How so? Barbie is always in control. She is the star and it’s all about Barbie. She can do anything from riding a horse to having a baby or to being a nuclear physicist. She does not need a man to be complete. I don’t see her as a threat to young girls. I see her as a woman who knows she can be any thing she wants if she chooses to. That’s power. The choice to be what you want to be. I am a great believer that the way someone looks is irrelevant. Be fat, or thin or black or white – it’s what inside that counts. So why don’t we look at Barbie like that? She is anatomically ridiculous but she is a product of her environment – and yet she has the balls to go out and be a ballerina - despite her boob size, an ice skater – despite her silly, weak looking ankles or a Doctor – despite the perception that no one takes the blonde hair seriously. She is putting herself out there and trying to succeed. How is that a bad role model? I say go Barbie.

Ken – poor, misunderstood Ken. I don’t believe Ken has to be gay. I think Ken is just a quiet guy doll who got caught up in the whole Barbie hoop-la and is wondering what the hell he is doing in it. He is like ‘Mr Barbie’ and that has to piss even the mildest man off. Sure, in the past he has made some bad choices when it comes to clothes and he has had some suspect hairstyles but what man hasn’t? And why is everyone so fixated on whether Ken has a penis or not? Doesn’t this remind you of real life where men are bombarded with advertisements about penis enlargement? How can Ken get a break? I say let’s leave Ken alone to be whomever he wants to be. I am starting the official ‘Let Ken be’ association on the Amarinda blog.


And what about GI- Joe? No one questions his virility as he comes across as Mr Macho in his fatigues. No one questions why he carries around some enormous gun or phallic rocket launcher as he goes off to defend whoever he is defending or is he just some red neck armageddonist stockpiling weapons? We just assume he’s the good guy who is our protector. He’s silent, follows orders and supposedly keeps his homeland safe. I say Joe is a bigger worry than Ken yet people admire Gi-Joe's plastic parts. How could the likes of Ken compete with Joe? He can’t so therefore people assume Ken is gay. Poor bloody Ken. I think he is the fall guy in the whole doll community.

So, I say take a look at these dolls again. Don’t just make an assumption on looks or behaviour.
The competition everyone is talking about….would I lie to you?

What could you spend an eternity doing? What is your passion? Your hunger? Your deepest desire? Each day beginning February 5 and running through February 14 one of the ten authors will complete the line, "My darling I could spend eternity…" on either their blog or website. Collect all ten answers and e-mail them to anny@annycook.com with Eternally Yours in the subject line to win some hot, romantic books. There will be three lucky Valentine winners.

The prizes –

1st prize--5 books

2nd prize--3 books

3rd prize--2 books
Entries must be in by February 16 at midnight EST. All books and prize winners will be drawn randomly.
The authors – well, there’s the Jones girl, Anny Cook, Kelly Kirch, N J Walters, Cindy Spencer Pape, Sandra Cox, Brynn Paulin, Bronwyn Green, Mona Risk and Elyssa Edwards….what a stellar line up. It’s a damn shame I can’t enter myself.

Anny is talking about Parrots going into space on www.annycook.blogspot.com and Kelly has the reasons pigeons like to carry messages on www.kkirch.blogspot.com

www.freewebs.com/amarindajones/
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?
amarinda_jones@yahoo.com.au