Left-over helmets...

I finally put the barbeque together. It’s just a simple charcoal one that I bought after Cyclone Yasi in February. Yes, February…don’t rush me. Anyway I bought it because I realized I can withstand any crisis but I need coffee when the power goes out for days. Hence flame, heat, boiling water, coffee, calm woman, no one gets hurt.

So, it’s together but for all those extra bolts and screw things they give you as gifts – and those 4 black cup like things with a hole in the base. Not sure what they’re for. I’m thinking maybe it’s to do with providing a helmet to a small animal. I expect I can make hats for Wayne and Cheryl, my budgies, for the next big blow. Just not sure they’d look good in black.

Gypsies, tramps and theives...

So the Australian government announced that people who had gone through Cyclone Yasi and had lost power for a certain period of time were entitled to make a claim for an ex-gratia payment. Initially I wasn’t going to claim as I’m one of those odd people who actually work for their money and don’t dole bludge nor do I have 57 kids and expect to live on welfare for the rest of my life because I don’t like to work because it means you can’t watch TV all day nor do I have the belief that having ovaries entitles me to be supported by taxpayers so I can be impregnated by ten loser boyfriends, on a regular basis, who are also bludging on society…oh, don’t get me started…anyway, I thought about it for a while and considered the lost wages and food and I thought ‘Bugger it. I will apply – like everyone else – as I have been paying tax since I was 14 so I reckon I had a right to get something back.

Now, see, if you’re an established bludger already on the welfare payroll you just have to turn up and claim the money and whiz-bang presto it’s in your bank account the next day and you can go out and buy useless crap instead of actual food, clothes and stuff for the kids. If you’ve worked all your life you have to jump through all these hoops and prove who you are as there are no records of you being a drain on society's financial resources. I had three phone calls tonight with the mob that are dispensing the funds because the proof of ID letter they sent me wasn’t complete. Why the 3 calls? Well, because no one at this agency – somewhere I once used to work at – could confirm what ID I had to bring to prove who I am as they have no record of me being a bludger on society. In the end they said bring in everything you can think of to prove you pay tax and are an upright, hardworking citizen and maybe we’ll consider handing back some of your tax dollars. Funny old world huh?

Why the crab picture? I just liked it.

Amarinda Jones
Penn Halligan
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book

Grace of fate...

We went down south of Cairns to help clean up some of the mess left by Cyclone Yasi. We landed in Silkwood – a small town with a lot of damage. During the mass clean up I got to see a brown snake and I believe I drank my body weight in water but I sweated that much I expect it all evened out somewhere. The people were really nice and grateful. It made me realize how lucky I was to have escaped severe damage – there but for the grace of fate go I.

We then wandered over to Paronella Park and did a couple of hours there. It’s an interesting place. Click here to read more - http://www.paronellapark.com.au/whatisparonella.html

I’m completely knackered, sunburnt and bruised yet pleased I did it as it makes me feel more grateful for what I have.

Amarinda

Elephant in ballet slippers…

So, I’ve been checking out camping stores. I loathe camping. I think it’s wrong and unnatural and it has a high pukeability factor. To me, camping is as natural as an elephant in ballet slippers. But, after the big blow of Cyclone Yasi I decided I needed to update my emergency supplies – hence the dalliance in the realms of the great outdoors. I like nature. I just don’t want to sleep or pee in it.

Anyway, I’ve been driving camping store people mad with my questions. They’ve been quite stoic. I think I amuse them.

Amarinda Jones
Penn Halligan
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book

In an emergency - buy toilet paper...

The shops in Cairns are in panic mode as everyone stocks up for Tropical Cyclone Yasi. Want fruit and Veg? Forget it. Want canned goods? Nup. Bread? Uh-uh. Milk? Only some stores have it. As for toilet paper – it appears it’s very necessary in a crisis. People were carrying it out by the arm-fulls. Not sure why but I bought some as well. I didn’t need it but I figured it was the thing to do…

I did supplement by emergency supplies with wine and Tim Tams…a woman still has to live life…and I bought a lotto ticket for luck.

Oh – and Yasi? Piss off back to where you came from.

Amarinda Jones
Penn Halligan
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book

Flying Monkeys....

Cyclone Yasi - http://www.bom.gov.au/products/IDQ65002.shtml

Well, that big bugger Cyclone Yasi looks like it will hit some time tomorrow. Where? No idea. It appears to be a crapshoot. But me and the flying monkeys are as prepared as we can be. Hmmm...a cyclone is a good excuse for not going to the gym…

Amarinda Jones
Penn Halligan
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book