Bottoms...

So, I was chatting to a male friend today and I mentioned this TV advert on at the moment , from McDonalds, showing one man handing another man a burger as a thank you for ‘introducing him to Pilates’. Basically it was two men watching an exercise class of women bending over. Yes, sexist twaddle but at least the women all had their collective arses well covered due to it being a prime time TV advert. I said to my friend something along the lines of ‘how does well covered butts bending over make one man thank another man for pointing out said butts?’ There was nothing sexual there and it was kinda dweeby thinking men were so desperate to look at arses be it on TV or otherwise and think sex. His response was along the lines of pointing out that women – I – would look at a man’s arse. Yes, I would but my thoughts aren’t sexual. What’s that you say? Lack of libido? No – hell no. I tend to look at the way a man carries himself and the confidence in his stride and stance before thinking of sex. And, I don’t believe normal women think about sex when they look at a male butt. But then we’re thoughtful creatures who expect and deserve a lot. Nice arse? Sure – but what else do you have for us?  

Arses…

When I was travelling overseas, a fellow traveler, a male, said to me that he could pick an Aussie woman out of a crowd just because of the shape of her arse. Huh. Granted, he was drunk at the time he made this grand pronouncement and possibly I was a tad legless myself but it’s a comment that always stuck in my mind and I’m sorry I forgot to ask him why he had that theory.

But I digress, last Sunday I wrote a blog with the title ‘pointy penises in pink panties.’ It was an experiment which, judging by the emails I received, confused quite a few people. That’s always fun. The reason I used that title was all to do with body parts - specifically bottoms, arses, bums, derrieres. Confused? No doubt.

The Monday before that I wrote a blog on assumptions. I called it ‘Ass - u – me’ - you know, the old saying of “when you assume you make an ass out of you and me.” Anyway, I was quite agog at the hits this assumption blog received. It was just my usual rambling post so I couldn’t work out why I had all these extra readers - it was great - thank you for staying on and reading - then it occurred to me. It was all to do with the 'ass' in the title. As for the ‘U’ and ‘me’? One can only surmise that would refer to what one could do with an ass.

Anyway I wrote the Penis/panties blog title to test my theory on body parts in the title affecting readership. I did get a similar response but slightly less new hits. I believe this indicates the arses are more popular than penises. No, it’s not conclusive and yes, the experiment was half-arsed…pardon the pun.

And something fascinatingly bizarre…

THE attempted armed robbery of a Russian hairdresser became a three-day sex ordeal for the would-be thief, leaving him with torn genitals and a Viagra hangover.

IT website The Register reports the man, known as Viktor, tried to rob the hairdresser in the town of Meshchovsk.

The owner, 28-year-old Olga, agreed to hand over the takings but as she was giving him the money, used her karate skills to knock him to the ground and tie him up with a hairdryer cord.

She then locked him in the storeroom and told colleagues she’d call the police.

However, she instead stripped him and cuffed him to a heater with a pair of fluffy pink handcuffs. She then fed him Viagra and raped him several times over the next four days.

When finally released, Viktor went first to hospital for treatment for his torn frenulum, and then reported Olga to the police. When she was arrested, Olga reported him for robbery.

“What a bastard,” she complained. “Yes, we had sex a couple of times. But I’ve bought him new jeans, gave him food and even gave him 1000 roubles when he left.”

Viktor admitted she had fed him well.

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,27574,25819498-401,00.html

I especially like the last line…

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