Bottoms...

So, I was chatting to a male friend today and I mentioned this TV advert on at the moment , from McDonalds, showing one man handing another man a burger as a thank you for ‘introducing him to Pilates’. Basically it was two men watching an exercise class of women bending over. Yes, sexist twaddle but at least the women all had their collective arses well covered due to it being a prime time TV advert. I said to my friend something along the lines of ‘how does well covered butts bending over make one man thank another man for pointing out said butts?’ There was nothing sexual there and it was kinda dweeby thinking men were so desperate to look at arses be it on TV or otherwise and think sex. His response was along the lines of pointing out that women – I – would look at a man’s arse. Yes, I would but my thoughts aren’t sexual. What’s that you say? Lack of libido? No – hell no. I tend to look at the way a man carries himself and the confidence in his stride and stance before thinking of sex. And, I don’t believe normal women think about sex when they look at a male butt. But then we’re thoughtful creatures who expect and deserve a lot. Nice arse? Sure – but what else do you have for us?  

Getting real...

I was trying on some new swim shorts in Target today and I happened to catch a glimpse of my undie covered arse in the three mirrors that were positioned in such a way to make you see everything. Oh the tragedy.

This is what I think, if you want women to spend money on clothes, don’t put arse reflecting mirrors in change rooms. We know it's big. You don't need to reinforce that. Let us worry about world affairs and man's inhumanity to man. That's waaay more important than freaking out at our arses. 

Loved this pic. Saw this display in the shop window of City Chic in Cairns Central. I shot passed the store and then had to double back to have another look. Fancy a mannequin with a stomach, thighs and hips? They looked like – gasp – shock- horror – real women and not some skinny underfed crossing dressing males. Well done City Chic.  

Start message…

Yes, yes, yes, every writer writes a unique story that isn’t like any else’s and of course no writer would dream of cashing in on a trend – and yes absolutely anyone who gives an opinion against your genre has to be wrong or misguided or unable to understand the angst ridden moments you've had writing about whatever you’re writing about because you are very deep and meaningful. Just like me…sorta…kinda…blah, blah, blah.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Anyone can write. Look at self publishing – and no, don’t roll your eyes. Some people are kicking arse when it comes to doing it by themselves and I say kudos to them. I wonder about the mindset of writers who cling to established epub sites, disrespecting others for what they do, yet at the same time being too scared that if they’re cut off from XYZ publishing they’re doomed. You’re only doomed if you allow yourself to be.

So in essence, as I recently wrote on another blog, opinions are like arses. They’re prevalent, they’re everywhere and those who own them will still function regardless what anyone else thinks.

Opinions = arses.

End message.

Does my bum look big?

So I was pulling on my trackie daks (track pants) for boot camp this morning and I asked myself that age old female question – “does my bum look big in these?”

Why as women do we obsess about that size of ours arses? It’s because we can’t see them without being either a contortionist or using a mirror with a mirror to see said arse. That’s why women ask their partners. They hope their man will give them the right answer. And yes, that can indeed be a trap for a man. There is no right answer. What is the correct thing to say? No – could indicate that you’re not paying attention or you’re lying and a woman can always tell when it comes to bum issues. And if you say yes? Well, that’s never going to be the right answer because we really don’t want to know if our arse looks big and hey stop looking at it if it’s so horribly enormous. Really, no on can win when it comes to bums.

The answer to my question this morning? Yes it does look big but not as big as it used to. Drop a shirt down over to cover it and I can live with that.

Love...

On viewing this cover I posted, a facebook friend asked me, ‘why are they so young?’ You know, it never occurred to me to look at their faces. I was looking at his arse. Does that make me a bad person? But seriously, does love have an age? Everyone has an arse so I view love in the same way. Love is as universal as bums. I bet you'll never see that on a Valentine’s Day card…now go off and ponder bottoms and love and see what you come up with...