Bums are bad...

The offending bottom by Isobel Goddard can be bought here - http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/AmarindaJones

Does my bum look big?

So I was pulling on my trackie daks (track pants) for boot camp this morning and I asked myself that age old female question – “does my bum look big in these?”

Why as women do we obsess about that size of ours arses? It’s because we can’t see them without being either a contortionist or using a mirror with a mirror to see said arse. That’s why women ask their partners. They hope their man will give them the right answer. And yes, that can indeed be a trap for a man. There is no right answer. What is the correct thing to say? No – could indicate that you’re not paying attention or you’re lying and a woman can always tell when it comes to bum issues. And if you say yes? Well, that’s never going to be the right answer because we really don’t want to know if our arse looks big and hey stop looking at it if it’s so horribly enormous. Really, no on can win when it comes to bums.

The answer to my question this morning? Yes it does look big but not as big as it used to. Drop a shirt down over to cover it and I can live with that.

Cover up that arse…

“….consider visible women's nipples, areolas and male or female uncovered butts as nudity. A minimum requirement for butt-shots is a thong."

Yeah…sure…a thong covers a lot don’t it? Unless they mean an Aussie thong….

What a funny old world epublishing is.

Love...

On viewing this cover I posted, a facebook friend asked me, ‘why are they so young?’ You know, it never occurred to me to look at their faces. I was looking at his arse. Does that make me a bad person? But seriously, does love have an age? Everyone has an arse so I view love in the same way. Love is as universal as bums. I bet you'll never see that on a Valentine’s Day card…now go off and ponder bottoms and love and see what you come up with...

The simulation of bums…

I got the cover for Penn’s book Sex by Numbers with Excessica. Penn is me…the sluttier side of me…I know, I’m quite shocked I can be like that...not. Anyway the cover is exactly what I asked for and a big thanks to the Excessica cover gods. I always ask for naked – in covers that is – there is only a specific person I would request naked at the moment - and I am never disappointed – in him - or the covers. I don’t do naked well myself. But I’m trying…on so many levels I am so very trying…but I digress…the cover has got a lot of reaction through Amarinda mail. It’s the bum…the arse if you like…or ass if you speak with a twang or derriere if you’re French…anyway the bum is a talking point. Why? Is it real? Does any woman have a bum like that? Are we all jealous? Maybe, though I rely on my cellulite arse to cushion me after life’s blows. Yeah, fast arsed works for me. I’ll leave simulation to others.

So there it is. I have a simulated bum on my cover and I’m pretty darned pleased. Hoping you are the same…

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