Hyphenation Hell…

I was re-formatting a story that I recently got my rights back on and while I know that publisher sucked in so many ways, it never occurred to me how ratshit their formatting was. Now, I, like most readers can forgive a lot when it comes to formatting as mistakes happen and we’re all human but not the over use of hyphenations for no bloody reason I can see other than they are too frigging lazy to have smaller margins. For example: -

Hea-ven, Angel-ic, Dav-id, regret-ted, beauti-ful, dis-taste — and these are just in the first couple of pages. Wreck the flow of the story much?  You know, I’m no expert but that sucks coming from a professional epub company who is undoubtedly charging the reader waaay more than they should for a story that has more hyphenation than commas. Have I fix-ed the-m all? I beli-eve so. 

Protection by multiple men with enormous penises isn't everything...

So, other writers always say to me that going Indie and speaking your mind means that no epublisher will EVER want you and aren’t you afraid of that? The short answer? No. The long answer? It takes a lot to scare me and publishers are not god. No really. They’re not. However, the thing is, I do get emails from regular publishers who want me to write stuff for them. Why? I think it’s because I’m very direct about what I want and where I’m coming from and negotiations should always start that way. I’m not going to be all Susie Sunshine and beg them to have me because I don’t have to. I also find it interesting that publishers write what Indie authors read. That tells me that maybe they’re looking for something that doesn't toe the company line like the multiple-every-single-story-is-the-same-virgin-menage-five-cowboy-we’ll-protect-the-heroine-with-our-dicks-sex. Being Indie means you can write whatever the hell you want without some publisher telling you there is not enough sex and can’t the heroine be shagged in each chapter by different men with enormous penises so the reader has to wonder how she will walk each time.  But seriously, that has happened to me…er, the editor thing not the being shagged by enormous penises...

So…want to go Indie because you’re tired of the epublishing bullshit? Do it. Protection by multiple men with enormous penises isn’t everything and Indie writers are getting read by publishers. Got the tits to do it? 

Blood out of the stoned…

So, I spent a great deal of time wading through 16 spreadsheets of royalties payments during work today. No wonder ebook authors go Indie. Some publishers get it so very wrong. Obvious things like tax treaties between countries and the correct rate of withholding money due to said tax treaty should be a no-brainer. And I owe you money? Are you stoned? I have sent back notes as to why the spreadsheets are wrong. I shouldn’t have to. It’s not my job to do their accounts.

Thinking of writing? For god sake sus out the publisher first. Check who has had trouble with them. Ask an Indie author. They'll tell you who sucks because most of the Indie have been burned and they're not scared to say it. Learn from people who have been there and done that.     

'Not that hard...

I find it interesting the number of established epublishers that had been around for over 10 years who cannot manage to format books into an epub version. It's not hard to do. Even the technically inept like me can use Calibre to do it. It takes seconds to format. And if readers want epub and they can't get it? They'll go elsewhere. It's a no-brainer. Being competitive is about supply and demand. We all know that. No wonder so many writers are going Indie.

Supply what people demand. Business 101.

Ask. Research. Bug the hell out of people…

 

 

So, I’m waiting to see what happens in the ongoing Noble Romance Publishing–will-they-pay-me-all-the-royalties-they-have-failed-to-for-frigging-yonks? I got several emails yesterday from them, which is unusual, because other than blaming the person that left Noble in a bugger of a mess, they have avoided speaking to me or many other authors at all. Word is they will only speak to the obedient, suck up authors. I should point out, firstly, that’s not me and this ‘word’ has not stopped me emailing them. My personal belief is just because someone ignores you it doesn’t mean you stop doing what you know is right for you – and this gets to the point of this blog. Publishing – epublishing especially – because any bugger on the planet can set up an epublishing company online – is a messy business. To be honest, you can’t trust anyone but yourself when it comes to your rights in it.  

• Look and learn from other authors. Noble isn’t the only epublisher with crapaciousness going on.  

• Read author blogs. Email those authors and ask what they think of a publisher. A decent author will give an honest opinion. 

• Look at the publisher’s website. Check out the names of the people listed on their ‘who are we/info’ page and google them to see if they are made up people. Yeah. It happens.  

• Check out the authors. Heard of any of them? No? Probably a bad sign. Yes, everyone has to make a name for themselves but ask yourself do you want your work going to a place where there is not a single author you have heard of? If you see an author name you know – email. Ask their opinion. Most authors will not screw another author over. I say most. There are exceptions of course.  

• Check out who owns the company. What do they know of publishing? 

• Go to the 3^rd party distributors and see where they are ranked in sales. 

• Talk to readers – who are they buying from? Readers are smart and they will form allegiances to epublishers they believe in and trust.      

• If an epublisher sounds sus in their emails to you then they probably are. Don’t be dazzled by promises.  

• Trust your gut instinct before signing a contract. You may be desperate to get your work out there but think ahead a couple of years – will you be desperate to get it back? 

I started in this game – and it is that – 6 years ago. If I knew all this back then…but that’s a moot point. Ask. Research. Bug the hell out of people…it's your rights at stake.

Less than Noble...

So, I found out this morning, through various emails, that Jill Noble, the head of Noble Romance Publishing has quit the company. Why? Depends who you talk to. The cut and pasted emails from the Noble Romance authors loop – sent to me via email by ‘Anon’ – I’m not allowed on the loop as I’m naughty and have a habit of asking hard questions - indicated that Jill jumped ship because the owner, who I call the Smoking Man, who Jill mentions in the emails - is the reason for her quitting. Yes, we all thought she was in charge. Hmmm…Now, I tend to think this all sounds like a bad plot for a romance book. It’s not me. It’s him. This is the same woman who promised to pay me and others a gazillion times. Hmmm again.   

Now, many authors have tried to get sense or some notification from those who are left at Noble Romance Publishing but whoever is left is not answering and also not making any effort to pay authors. What this tells me is if you are thinking subbing there give it a miss. If NRP cannot have the professionalism to answer their authors then that indicates big trouble. It also indicates a possible class action by authors.

Me? I emailed the Smoking Man and advised I would be taking back what’s mine if no answer or money by Friday.  

Just my opinion but what a load of…

…clap trap. While I do the indie author thing myself and I believe Indie books are just as good, if not better, than books published by the standard epublishing companies because we are less inclined to play with ourselves, I also believe that no one owes a writer a living. You have to fight and struggle to get ahead and images like this annoy me. Why? So it took you two years to write a book. So what? That doesn’t mean that it’s going to fly off the shelves due to the effort you put in and emotional clap trap like this picture indicates to me that a reality check is needed. Epublishing is a shitty, backbiting, hard business.  The hard facts are not everyone is going to buy your book. Many would actually prefer to buy a cup of coffee. If a reader does buy your book then be bloody happy and grateful. You had a win.   

As for equating your ebook with a cup of coffee poured by some poor bugger whose probably making only minimum wage working for a large blood sucking conglomerate who owns half the coffee in the world, don’t under estimate what each $3.50 can mean to the worker or the drinker. We each chose our own poison. For writers, it’s thoughts in head and arse on chair as keys are banged furiously as words spew forth as we look to make money from it. For the waitress who just wants to serve the coffee and get off her feet – well, if none of us were buying her coffee, she’d be out of a job. For the poor sod that’s had a shit of a morning and the only thing holding them together is knowing they can buy a coffee – you think they’re going swap that for a book? Get frigging real.      

Everything is relative. Emotional claptrap? Save it for your writing and leave people to make their own choices without that corny angst of comparing chalk and cheese. 

But then, that’s just my own sweet, shy opinion…     

Cover up that arse…

“….consider visible women's nipples, areolas and male or female uncovered butts as nudity. A minimum requirement for butt-shots is a thong."

Yeah…sure…a thong covers a lot don’t it? Unless they mean an Aussie thong….

What a funny old world epublishing is.

Smashing it..

So, I’ve been working on putting all the Scarlet Harlot Publishing books on Smashwords. It’s a lot of work to those of us of the half arsed persuasion. Everything has to be a certain way or you don’t get to forge on to the next level. Yes, it’s kind of like a game. And yes, Smashwords has also been caught up in the supposed Paypal witch hunt but like All Romance Ebooks and unlike Bookstrand, they haven’t kicked Indie authors and publishers to the curb without advising what they require. No, I have no respect for Bookstrand at all. Fear and censorship are not admirable qualities to me.

And yeah, lots of writer type people are still not going to be happy with what goes down with book sites but to me that just means finding another angle, another workable solution. There is a way around everything and if there’s not make your own way. No one said you had to go in a straight line now did they? And despite theories to the contrary Paypal does not rule the world.

Rules? Yes, follow them up to a point and then go about your own sweet way smashing them.