Throwing up on Jack's shoes...

From an email sent to me…

“I like this. You had me hooked about the time Nance vomited on Jack's shoes.

Someone somewhere has probably made up a list of all the rules of romance, and if they have, I'm sure, like Jack, you've broken most of them several times over here.”

I did consider going back to the traditional route of publishing through publishers but I’m tired of all the rules and indecisiveness. So fuck it. I continue on as I am. I like me. I have no rules. It works.

Goss...

I know for sure when working as a temp/hired gun in any office, people – men especially - love to gossip. I find being the fill-in worker gives people the freedom to vent their spleen about what they hate, who they hate, what’s going wrong in the company, which manager sucks, who’s sleeping with who and "did you ever wonder what’s going on behind that locked door with the warning sign, Amarinda? Well, I’ll tell you but tell no one.” Sure, tell me. Sure, I’ll probably tell no one about the locked door, the people screwing around or  whose fiddling with the system, the accounts, the lady who comes in and looks snotty at everyone but ‘we all now she’s screwing X and Y and just wait until W finds out she lifts her legs in the air for anyone.' Nope, I probably won’t use any of it unless I can use it to my advantage of course. I’m not silly. Know where the dirt is and stow that goss for ‘ron. Even as a temp power is knowledge.

It’s not just being the hired agency gun that makes people feel they can spill their guts. It’s me personally. I attract gossipers just by saying ‘hello and how are you?’ Call it a gift. A calling. An inner light that shines from me inciting gossipers to let go and tell all. Today, let’s call him, er – Barry – came into the office. I never saw him before but I said hello and it was on. He told me so much dirt. Barry, is somewhat of a troublemaker and flouter of rules. Barry also makes sure that the ‘system’ doesn’t screw him over or he’ll go on sick leave, claim discrimination, declare legal action, sit with his legs up on the desk or just go into go-slow mode to make sure nothing gets done and everyone knows he 'knows his rights'. I like the Barry’s of the world. They’re useful. I’ve used information from the-Barrys-of-the-world.com.

Yes, it’s wrong to listen to gossip to store information. Yes, very wrong. Thankfully, wrong works for me. 

Nuh...

I had a chat to an author just recently who said to me was I scared that going down the indie publishing track meant no epublisher would ever again take me on because I would be considered too much of a wild card? Nuh. Weak people get scared.

Exploding heads...

 So, I sat back, after reading the most anal series of emails from an accountant at work and I said to myself oh my god if a stick ever gets lodged that high and hard up my bottom as this twit who is sprouting off so many archaic rules - about what you shouldn’t do and what happens if you do and did you read paragraph 73a clause 12 about following rules, Amarinda,  and don’t do this that or the other thing – particularly the other thing which we all know you just did because it’s wrong, not right, bad, naughty and worlds will collide and it will be all your fault Amarinda -  then I swear I will give away all my Docs and become like a dull, colourless and boring accountant and buy a special chair with a hole in so the stick in my bottom is catered for.

Rules are meant to be twisted and bent and bashed around a bit. How do we change things if we don’t apply sledgehammer to things that need it?

Accountants - except you Jules - can’t work with them, but you can work against them to make heads explode.   On to plan B tomorrow...exploding heads...

“So 90 percent of sales were discreet ebook downloads…”

"Ana," as he calls her, willingly and excitedly agrees to spanking, whipping and gagging, with props like ice, rope, tape -- a repertoire right out of a BDSM [bondage, discipline, dominance and submission] manual.

The heart of the romance is the notion of submission and the way in which Steele accommodates Grey to "make him love her,"according to Rachel. "She sees being submissive as a necessity to save him," she said. "He was broken. That was more of the appeal. And the sex was a bonus."

British mom and former TV producer James initially wanted to replicate the success of the "Twilight" fan fiction series. The novels were published by a small independent Australian press and hard copy distribution was limited. So 90 percent of sales were discreet ebook downloads...."

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/50-shades-grey-women-turned-sexual-submission/story?id=16059118

Hmmm… So 90 percent of sales were discreet ebook downloads? Wait a second….that can’t be right. Explicit sex/porn on ebook sites is apparently forbidden and you can get reported for it and have bamboo slithers put under your fingernails making it impossible to type ever again.

Makes you wonder don’t it? A skeptic would say it's making too much money to ban it and money makes the rules....hmmm...

Smashing it..

So, I’ve been working on putting all the Scarlet Harlot Publishing books on Smashwords. It’s a lot of work to those of us of the half arsed persuasion. Everything has to be a certain way or you don’t get to forge on to the next level. Yes, it’s kind of like a game. And yes, Smashwords has also been caught up in the supposed Paypal witch hunt but like All Romance Ebooks and unlike Bookstrand, they haven’t kicked Indie authors and publishers to the curb without advising what they require. No, I have no respect for Bookstrand at all. Fear and censorship are not admirable qualities to me.

And yeah, lots of writer type people are still not going to be happy with what goes down with book sites but to me that just means finding another angle, another workable solution. There is a way around everything and if there’s not make your own way. No one said you had to go in a straight line now did they? And despite theories to the contrary Paypal does not rule the world.

Rules? Yes, follow them up to a point and then go about your own sweet way smashing them.

I wonder…

…if I had not been thrown out of the Girl Guides, justifiably so, when I was 11, would I be a different person? Why do I ponder this? Well, I heard on the news that the centenary of the Girl Guide movement is to be celebrated in 2010 in Oz. It’s a very good organization…if you can follow the rules. I often wonder if I was a rule follower would life be different or even easier. I tend to think people who follow the rules have an easier life. Do you agree? Disagree? I just think sometimes it’s better to do as you are told. I just can’t seem to make that a reality. Maybe it’s genetic. My grandfather was a conscientious objector because he couldn’t see the point of war. It made life hard for him and his family but in the spirit of my family he said ‘bugger it, I’m not going to follow what everyone else thinks.’ I agree.

I was also thrown out of Girls Bridge when I was 8. Looking back, I can see why my mother was not really surprised at either dumping. In her words ‘those people/groups are beneath you.’ Whether they were or not is irrelevant. My mother declared they were and frankly that’s all that was important. No one gave her children a hard time. I always remember when we landed in a new school for the umpteenth time and the school nitwit, I mean counselor, said to my mother ‘your daughter will never get far in life’. My mother rose to her 5 foot 3 inches and told him to bugger off. Apparently he had a problem with army brats not conforming. I can’t think why. Any kid – army or not – who has been dragged from pillar to post learns quickly attitude will save your arse every time and school counselors are to be mind gamed.

Why did I get thrown out of the Guides for? I was smoking – no, I have never smoked since – and, oh and we may have used the charity money we collected to buy lollies(candy). And Girls Brigade? Well, at 8 years old I had, and still have, a blasphemy problem. I’m bad…bad to the bone…

www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book

Renewal…

I had been on auto pilot with an establishment for such a long time that I had never realized how much I was sick to death of them and their rules. Something happened a couple of days ago – see the angry post – that made me realize that I had lost faith in them – and worse - I no longer trusted them. When you lose trust, you know it’s time to move on.

Anyway push came to shove over something and I thought – “Walk away – you don’t trust them – what are you doing with them?” The answer, of course, is we all get complacent, lazy and go the easy way. I was but I’m changing that now.

So, I’ve cut ties and I feel damn good. The best thing is I can write the way I want to write without hoping it fits the ‘rules’. Condoms? Gee no, if they don’t fit the story, I’m not going to write ‘em in. Readers don’t like ‘em anyway – they’re passion killers. The heroine getting preggers or even the hint of a baby? Again, if it fits the story – it will go in the story. And now, I can actually use ‘baby’ as a term of endearment and not have it deemed as something sinister. And sex? I’m not going to worry how much I should write. Is it hot enough? Or, more to the point – is it weird enough? Yep, I've finally been kicked in the head enough to realize I can do so much better without compromising on who I am.

Rules – I always knew they were fucking stupid.

www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book

I don't understand...

…it seems every email I get or blog I read, someone has a book trailer they want you to look at. It’s almost like a cult. I don’t really get the point of book trailers. If you had a massive reading audience then maybe but even then I tend to think people would buy your books because they like your books. And have you noticed all the trailers look the same? Generally it’s just close up of the book cover shown over and over and over again – the hero’s chest in close up, his left nipple – then pan out to see his chest – then focus on his right nipple – then pan around the cover to his thigh, his big toe, his left ear – and oh yeah then let’s take a close up of the woman he’ll have sex with - while words are displayed on the screen telling you what is the story in supposedly seductive language. Why not just say “look at the man’s pecs, isn’t he pretty, buy the book, it’s got sex in it.” It’s about as subtle. Yeah – you know my email address…

…what is it with people sending you photos of body parts on your mobile (cell) phone? Huh? I don’t understand it. I got one today at work – not the most conducive place. Mind you it was meant to be disruptive. It was something very specific that was designed to make me think. Yes, I knew who it belonged to and it was kind of hard not to look at it. Why would you photograph yourself like this? Apparently it’s fun and titillation….oh, and the camera ‘slipped’. I was asked to reciprocate with a “photo of left breast.” I sent the picture above. Well, he never mentioned my actual breast….How many women would do that?

…why do people insist you follow some dumb arsed rule they have never told anyone else about in 3 years – ok, maybe it is written somewhere - then when you give in to their whining because it’s like an ice pick through your ear – they make no effort to follow the rule themselves. I had that happen today. The overnight mail “must” be ready at 3:30pm to be picked up at 3:30pm by the courier, in a certain place or the world will end. We left at 4pm and the mail was still sitting in the certain place so if the world ends I know who we can blame. This is why I don’t follow rules. They’re stupid.

www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Don’t sleep in a subway darling….

Things we’re not supposed to do…

-don’t pull a face as the wind will change and you’ll stay that way
So if you continually pull faces and the wind continually changes, you could have a new look all the time. That's better than a makeover.
- Don’t speak your mind to those in authority or disagree with the general consensus
Yep, this is dangerous but very liberating. Try it.
- Don’t eat dessert first as you’ll spoil the main course
I think if you are calorie counting (boring) and you look at the dessert then the main and the dessert is more appealing then I say use the calorie count on the dessert
- Don’t drink, swear, smoke etc
Any thing to excess will kill you – not sure about swearing though unless you swear at the wrong people – anyway I think everyone should have a least one vice as it makes us human – Amarinda philosophy only.
- Don’t throw the job in, the man away etc as it/he may never come again
No, it/he may not but is there any point doing something you hate or being with someone you don’t like because you are scared of taking a risk?
- Don’t ask – wait until someone offers.
What if you’re never offered what you want? I believe in asking politely first as people are usually as so amazed they will give you whatever it is.
- Don’t be an individual in a group situation – be part of the team
If I hear one more there is no ‘I’ in team speech I will puke. As I have said before if I made up the English language I would have put an ‘I’ in team. The sheep mentality is overrated.
- Don’t lie
I think this depends on the situation. Arse saving – yours or a friend’s – lies are okay.
- Don’t have sex on the first date
Now, I’m not telling you to or not to – that’s up to the individual – but who comes up with these rules?
- Don’t waste you time writing e-books – write a real book.
Someone told me I should write a 600 page proper book. I said they should they should climb Mt Everest. They said they did not want to. I said exactly.

What rules don’t you follow? What rules to you go out of your way to break? I’m not advocating total anarchy but do you always follow the rules?

Hillary…

Okay, no surprise - I would like to see Hillary Clinton as President of the USA. I watched this kick arse speech she gave the other night about oil prices. Confidence is everything. We need more Hillarys for women to be inspired by. Agree or disagree as you will but I admire the woman.

Mea Culpa…

Quote - People are ‘who’ and not ‘that’ -- my editor
I have to repeat this 100 times. I am such a nuisance – and don’t get me started on my formatting technique. All I will say it sucks badly and my editor wants me to do penance by not eating Tim Tams. I have promised, of course, no Tims Tams will touch my lips. I’ll just swallow them whole. But really, I have no idea how editors put the airy fairy, half-arsed writing of their emotional writers into any form or shape at all without copious amounts of gin. I think I may have given my editor concussion last night as I know she was banging her head on the desk at my inability to ‘get’ formatting. Thank you H for persevering.

Anny is putting her characters under the microscope once more on www.annycook.blogspot.com. Kelly will no doubt have some dazzling quote for us all to ponder on www.kkirch.blogspot.com

I leave you with this peak from Silverhills by Sandra Cox. It is a damn good book. Check it out by clicking on the link below

A stubble-faced cowboy looked at the horse and then its young rider. He spit a brown stream of tobacco out of the corner of his mouth and guffawed, “Why, it ain’t nothing but a damn kid. Hey, sonny,” he bellowed, “better get off that stallion before you fall off. That’s a man’s horse if I ever saw one. Let a man show you how to ride him.”
The drover swaggered towards the stallion then took a hasty step back as Alexandria drew her six-gun. A loud click sounded as she pulled back the trigger. “I wouldn’t, mister.” Her voice was low and husky like that of the boy she was dressed to resemble in her four-button brown shirt and Duckins.
http://www.cerridwenpress.com/productpage.asp?ISBN=9781419912900

www.freewebs.com/amarindajones/
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Thursday stuff...

I ran into an old supervisor from my Promptel (code for crap telephone company I used to work for) days. He asked me “who are you driving mad now?” Isn’t it sweet how people remember you? And, I must admit, I was a terrific pain in the bum when it came to him managing me – why he even tried I have no idea. He asked “Are you still playing ‘Who Wants to Be A Millionaire’ at the desk when you’re supposed to be working?” The answer is no, because I no longer have that as an email attachment.

I used to drive this manager, let’s call him Charlie, mad because towards the end of our Promptel time, we were all chucked into the call centre. This was done to break the weak ones so they would leave and then there would be less $$$ to pay out when they got rid of the rest of us. The hard nuts like me and my mates Ethel and Katie stuck it out to the end for our pay out. We did this by breaking the rules. Yes, I’m sure I’ll feel terrible about driving Promptel to distraction one day – remind me to apologise next year some time, will you? Anyway we used to take the odd call and then play games on the computer. One of our favorites was “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.” We used to sit with customers, on hold – generally because they were yelling – and answer questions.

If you have worked in a call centre you would be aware of random call monitoring. Usually it’s really obvious because you hear ‘them’ click in and then you knew when to be good – or alternatively you would stand up and wave and let them

know you knew what they were doing to piss them off. Or in the case of answering thousands of “Millionaire” questions you would not hear them click in as you were busy doing other stuff and then they would hear you discussing the answers when you should have been working. It would drive Charlie mad. I would explain to Charlie that if he just came over and said he was call going to call monitor us then we wouldn’t answer questions for a couple of minutes.

C - It’s not random if you know!
A – Okay, so this is important to you I take it?
C – It’s for your development not mine, Amarinda
A – I’m developed enough

C – Don’t you care about your call stats?

A – Oh, are they for me?

C – Yes, I know you bin them

A – I’m sure I never meant for you to see me do that

C – You’re a pain in the arse, Amarinda

A – Come on, you know I make your life more interesting

C – Piss off

A – Go home early you mean? Okay then…

C – Walking away from you…

See? Rules are easy to ignore.

A moment from Shades of Gray…

“Is Temperance home?”
“She went to get milk and my stash of jelly beans man.” Swerve invited him inside. That Asher said he was a policeman did not seem to penetrate into the weed-clouded mind of the good natured Swerve. “She is the only legal-to-drive if you know what I mean and I needed a sugar hit bad.”
“Yeah I do.” Asher laughed. He was not a cop tonight. If this guy wanted to get high as a kite it had nothing to do with him. Asher wanted one thing in this house—his woman. He looked around the home. It was cluttered with books and furniture and color. It looked lived in and crazy and he felt instantly at home. “So you share with Temperance?”
“I just visit man. And the Tempster doesn’t share anything,” Swerve responded looking at him in an unfocused way. “I am happy to service her sexual needs but the Tempster says she does not do threesomes. She is into the one on one commitment stuff.”
“Interesting.” That was exactly what Asher wanted to hear.
“Monogamy is boring.” Swerve was a man who believed in spreading the love.
“Temperance has a beautiful soul, a pure heart and a sensitive nurturing nature,” Cat told Asher.
“Fucking hell Swerve. Don’t leave your frigging skateboard out on the front porch. I nearly broke my bloody neck on it again.” Much cursing could be heard from outside the front door. “I am going to kick your lily-white ass if you leave it out there again.”
“So speaks the pure, nurturing soul,” murmured Asher in amusement.

What could you spend an eternity doing?

What is your passion? Your hunger? Your deepest desire? Each day beginning February 5 and running through February 14 one of the ten authors will complete the line, "My darling I could spend eternity…" on either their blog or website. Collect all ten answers and e-mail them to anny@annycook.com with Eternally Yours in the subject line to win some hot, romantic books. There will be three lucky Valentine winners.

The prizes –

1st prize--5 books

2nd prize--3 books

3rd prize--2 books

The books

Sandra Cox Silverhills
Mona Risk To Love a Hero
Brynn Paulin Tribute For the Goddess
Bronwyn Green Mystic Circle
Cindy Spencer Pape Stone and Earth
N.J. Walters Seduction of Shamus O’Rourke
Elyssa Edwards Mating Stone
Amarinda Jones Shades of Gray
Kelly Kirch Time for Love
Anny Cook Honeysuckle

Entries must be in by February 16 at midnight EST. All books and prize winners will be drawn randomly.

Nope, not me today...check out the others

Anny is talking about the joy of dancing barefoot thought snakes on www.annycook.blogspot.com and Kelly is explained how rolling stones can gather moss, they just don’t want to on www.kkirch.blogspot.com

www.freewebs.com/amarindajones/

Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?