Protection by multiple men with enormous penises isn't everything...

So, other writers always say to me that going Indie and speaking your mind means that no epublisher will EVER want you and aren’t you afraid of that? The short answer? No. The long answer? It takes a lot to scare me and publishers are not god. No really. They’re not. However, the thing is, I do get emails from regular publishers who want me to write stuff for them. Why? I think it’s because I’m very direct about what I want and where I’m coming from and negotiations should always start that way. I’m not going to be all Susie Sunshine and beg them to have me because I don’t have to. I also find it interesting that publishers write what Indie authors read. That tells me that maybe they’re looking for something that doesn't toe the company line like the multiple-every-single-story-is-the-same-virgin-menage-five-cowboy-we’ll-protect-the-heroine-with-our-dicks-sex. Being Indie means you can write whatever the hell you want without some publisher telling you there is not enough sex and can’t the heroine be shagged in each chapter by different men with enormous penises so the reader has to wonder how she will walk each time.  But seriously, that has happened to me…er, the editor thing not the being shagged by enormous penises...

So…want to go Indie because you’re tired of the epublishing bullshit? Do it. Protection by multiple men with enormous penises isn’t everything and Indie writers are getting read by publishers. Got the tits to do it? 

Oh for god sake....

There are some dumb arse publishers around. They're the ones who treat their authors like crap and then insist those pissed off authors then don’t talk to people about how dumb arsed the publisher – let’s call them Lusty Libido Publishing - is by having things like this under their signature…

In accordance with our paranoia and the fact that we don’t want people to know that we do really suck and we rip our authors off, the contents of this email are confidential. That means we will stamp our feet and pull faces if you distribute, copy, post, share, send smoke signals, use sign language or charades to make the contents available to anyone on earth, the galaxy and parallel universes. You need express permission from Lusty Libido Publishing or its drunken, psychopathic owner to speak about anything…at all.

Basically, that translated means they are scared shitless that someone will think they’re useless, inept, buggers who could not organize a piss up in a brewery. Let’s face it, if you’re doing the right thing by your authors, why do you need bullshit sig lines? You should not be worried if an author says something. Authors are allowed to do that. It’s called free speech.