I think that's fair...

So, I – again - sent off forms to the IRS – Internal Revenue Service – in the USA to prove to those dumb arsed, pillock heads that I am indeed an Aussie and foreign to their extremely foreign government of people who I would trust as far as I could throw them that I have no intention of paying tax that will go to loser welfare people in the US when we have our own losers in Australia who I can support. I say pay for your own losers based on nationality. I don’t want some 16 year old American baby making machine, with her 17 year old unemployed, not in school boyfriend and her two other snotty nosed kids by two separate fathers of differing ethnicity using my hard earned $$ to buy McDonalds, Red Bull, whatever the hell Kim Kardashian is now flogging and Justin Beiber records. I think that’s fair.

Oh, and IRS? You can come visit me in Cairns if you still don’t believe I’m foreign. I would just love to talk to you in person and share my thoughts.  

Wankers R Us....

So I rang the ATO – Australian Taxation Office – aka Anal People Unite – as last year I paid too much tax and receiving a tax instalment letter telling me I should again pay too much seemed a tad odd to me. After the usual press 57 buttons, drink a cup of coffee, swear at government departments and their on hold music while going through the receipts in my purse, I got this woman who basically indicated that yes, I did pay too much last year and yes they expected me to pay in advance again. Why? Well, you’ll get a tax refund next year. But I want to use MY money now. Well, you can’t. Why not? Well, we’ve set it up so you have to pay. Okay then – change it. Oh we can’t do that. That means we have to vary it and varying it means you’re trying to not pay your taxes and you’ll get penalized and have to pay a fine. Fined for not overpaying when I don’t have to? Correct – you don’t want to cheat the government do you? I said have you listened to anything you’ve just said to me? Her response was that she didn’t have to. She was employed to tell me the regulations and that if I didn’t overpay I’d be a tax cheat. Riiiight. I have to overpay so dole bludgers and 17 year old baby making machines don’t have to get a job. No, naturally I’m not accepting that. I escalated the complaint. The staff member said I shouldn’t do that. Why not? Because you’re not supposed to. My response? Honey, I do lots of stuff I’m not supposed to. Wankers.