Do you have it in puce?

So, I got a new sofa and thought I’d sell the old recliner chairs. They’re in excellent nick but I just don’t need them. It’s part of my live uncomplicated approach to life. This would work splendidly if I was an uncomplicated person. But I’m a work in progress along with being just plain swell. Anyway, I decided to place a free ad in the local paper and sell them. At first, no one called. I was told to be patient that this was the tropics and no one rushed. At lunchtime the calls came in. What colour are the chairs? Dark red? I wanted puce. Are they leather? No. I wanted leather. They’re not leather. That’s a shame because I wanted leather. Build a bridge. Another said I have a 2 hour threshold that I can spend time seeing the chairs in. You need to be home now. My response? Ah, no. Then the ever popular you live all the way out there? Yes, I live the terrible 15-20 drive from the centre of Cairns. And the requests and question went on. Red chairs. After work. No, I don’t take magic beans. Yes, you’ll probably need a cut lunch and 17 litres of water and bus money tied into a knot in your hankie to get to my place. People. Odd.

Marlow’s Curse - released today - let the pigeons loose!

The Legend of the St Michael Witches

If a St Michael witch be unwilling, great pain will afall ye. Your innards will twist and your manhood die. Seek no help as none will come.
If a St Michael witch be willing, true love and pleasure will be yours for an eternity as those who give themselves only in love will take no other.

Marlow’s Curse – the blurb.

Legend has it that if a St Michael witch is not willing no man can take her without suffering the consequences. Sybylla is the last St Michael witch. She knows that when a St Michael witch falls in love her lover becomes her weakness and the witch becomes his downfall. Sybylla will not allow her fate to destroy a man. But some men are hard to resist.

Marlow is not just any man. He is a vampire, cursed centuries ago to wander aimlessly through life believing he does not deserve more. When he meets Sybylla one moonlit night two lonely worlds collide. Marlow is aware of the legend but that doesn’t mean he is going to let a myth get in the way of deep enduring passion.

But Marlow is not the only one who wants Sybylla. A demon pursues her wanting vengeance and Scar will stop at nothing to make her pay. Will Sybylla sacrifice her own future happiness to vanquish the demon and save Marlow? Can a willing witch and a cursed vampire beat the odds?

Reasons to read about a vampire this Easter…

Vampires….

… to the best of my knowledge are non fattening
…love and adore all women regardless of size or PMS issues
…would never deny a woman chocolate as pleasure is the most important thing to them.
…are incorrigible romantics who will do anything for their women
…will kick down the gates of hell to save the woman they love
…and let’s face it – they are sex on a stick.

Please remember – anyone that comments on my blog today – say what you like – goes into the draw for one person to win a copy of Marlow’s Curse. Now, the only thing is, if I cannot contact
you through your Blogger ID or you leave no email address then you cannot win. So make sure you are contactable. Contest closes midnight Friday US EST. The winner will be notified by email and announced on Saturday’s blog. Good luck.

Yesterday at work someone announced they were quitting their job. No, it wasn’t me for a change. Anyway I was quite pleased with this as she had to leave. Why? She had the same shirt I did and she could not stay because of it. No, it wasn’t an embarrassment thing - it was more that I consider myself unique and will not dress as another does. I’m sure all you unique people understand that. She had to leave or give up that shirt. I’m a reasonable woman.

Work is odd. There is a lot of intrigue and bitching going on under the surface as happens in most offices. I really don’t care on the whole as I am there to get paid and go home. What does worry me is the alarming need these people have to hug and kiss each other hello and goodbye – or just because they can. I have never been in an office of kissing, hugging people. It’s actually quite pukeable. I have made it known that I'm a hug free and kiss free zone. I’m picky when it comes to that. I worked with best friends Ethel and Katie for ages. Ethel and I never hug – it’s always a handshake. It’s just the thing we do – mainly to do with knowing each other’s personal history. Whereas Katie insists on a hug whenever we meet – she does not accept my offer of a friendly punch on the arm. Okay, so that I can handle as I know these two people and it’s not a constant hugging thing. But am I just odd – wait let me rephrase that as the answer can only be yes – um - do you think it’s odd that workmates are all kissy face with each other on a constant daily basis? I feel like I have walked into some cutesy land, sugar plum fairly land and expect to hear "It’s a small world afterall…" being sung. Thank god there is that edge of bitchiness to keep it vaguely interesting.

I bought two of the heaviest dining room chairs. They weigh a ton. Why did I buy them? I liked them and I always buy impossibly awkward, difficult furniture. That’s my nature. Just getting them into the car and driving home was an adventure. The despatch bloke said “You’ll never do it, love.” Ha! Don’t ever tell me never as that only makes me more determined to do it. I did it even though I ripped off part of the rubber seal on the car getting them out. I then lugged them upstairs with much effort and bruised shins and banged them down near the table, making the floor shake at the weight of them. They do not match any of the other chairs or even any of the other furniture in the house and yes they look gothically odd but I’m not someone who worries about stuff like that. I also bought a heap of odd curtains that were marked at a quarter of the price. None of them match but they will be perfect in my bedroom as they are gauzy, gypsy type ones and they only have to suit me. The added bonus is I saved $200 so in theory I have a $200 credit that is like a gift for me to do whatever I want with it. That’s how the women in my family view shopping moments like these. So what are the best or weirdest or heaviest buys you have made of late?

"I am neither good, nor bad, neither angel nor devil, I am a man, I am a vampire." --Michael Romkey (I, Vampire)

“One thing vampire children have to be taught early on is, don't run with wooden stakes.” --Jack Handy

I have never met a vampire personally, but I don't know what might happen tomorrow-- Bela Lugosi

The dynamic duo of Anny and Kelly can be found spruiking on www.annycook.blogspot.com and www.kkirch.blogspot.com as always

www.freewebs.com/amarindajones/
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Friday - blessed be thy name.....

I have been searching around to buy dining room chairs. Yes, how glamorous is my life? I am sure you can compete with something equally as exciting. Anyway, I saw this absolutely fabulous set of chairs that would be perfect. Problem? They are bloody expensive. I keep visiting them every day willing the price to go down. The sales assistant in the shop just nods and smiles at me as I visit the chairs. I have bargained her down as far as she will go. Will I get the chairs? I’d like to. I feel after visiting them so much they have become accustomed to me and will probably feel bad if I do not follow this infatuation through to a commitment. To be honest, I rarely use the dining room for dining. I use it for writing. If anyone comes over they know they will not be eating at the table. They accept that as one of the rules of Chez Amarinda. So why do I want new dining chairs? I just do. Will anyone sit in them? Hmmm…probably not. So what’s the point? I want them. The women in my family have a saying – “What Lola wants, Lola gets.” None of us are called Lola and maybe it’s a strange saying but we like it.


I won’t speak of work or I will swear and I am trying to retain the illusion that I am a delicate, sweet lady who wouldn’t say shit for a shilling. I did wander off at lunchtime and score a bargain though so the day wasn't a complete loss. After visiting my chairs, I came across someone selling top name perfume for cheap prices. Instantly suspicious, I checked it out and realized it was the fair dinkum stuff (real, true). I bought 4 bottles of Red Door – love it. Did it come off the back of a truck? Possibly. But again, Lola got what she wanted so what the hell. I am hardly about to be the Queen of all that's good and moral.


Why do I have a picture of George Clooney on the blog today? Does there have to be a reason to look at a sunset, appreciate a glass of wine or smile at a handsome, charming man? It’s a ‘because I can’ moment. You know, I am not a great believer in being attracted to anyone just because of superficial reasons. There has to be more. I suspect George has heaps of good qualities so in this instance I am going to give him the benefit of the doubt.


On www.kkirch.blogspot.com – Kelly left us with….

What makes you think I have it?"

"The stupid smirk on your face for one. And the fact that your reality TV entourage has a lot of reflective surfaces which show what you're holding behind your back."

"Curses!" he roared, flinging the peeler before him like a baton in a marching band.

"Give me the peeler, now, and I won't have to use Matilda's Vow on you." She laughed manically at his fierce shudder of dread

As usual I am not going down the path well trod…

Before she had a chance to put her threat into practice, a gigantic foot descended on Zoltan, crushing him into the dirt at Emmeline’s feet.

“Holy crap!” She exclaimed as she looked at the giant purple toenails before her. Emmeline tilted her head back to get a look at the owner of the foot. “Who the hell are you?” A thirty-foot woman with wild blue hair towered over her.

“I just saved your life, shorty.”

Emmeline snorted. If only it was that simple. “He’s not dead you know, Zoltan is immortal.”

“When I stand on a man they don’t get up again.” She lifted her foot to show the flattened Zoltan beneath.

Emmeline looked at him. Yep he was dead all right. There was no way he was going to be hauling his arse after her through dimensions. “Bastard!”

“What?”

“Zoltan told me I would die if he died.”

The woman shook her head in disgust. “Typical man – it’s all about them.”

“So who the hell are you?”

“I am the legendary Merle.”

“Yeah? If you’re so legendary how come I have never heard of you?”

“Cynical bitch.” Merle spat in contempt.

“Big footed cow.” Emmeline stood defiantly with her hand on her hips.

“I could kill you for that but I won’t.” The woman leered at her. “I have been given the task of taking you to Yum Cha.”

Emmeline stiffened in horror. Yum Cha was knife throwing Tibetan anarchist who had vowed to kill her for saving the life of high Chieftain. “I’m not going.”

“It’s not optional, short arse.”

What plans does Yum Cha have for our girl Emmeline? Tune in same time tomorrow on www.annycook.blogspot.com to see where Anny takes us.

You have probably noticed I have been highlighting some of the great books on offer from Cerridwen Press and Ellora’s Cave. Why? Becaue there are some bloody good writers out there. Today I bring you Force of Nature by Robin Leigh Miller. It’s available now. How do you purchase it? Why click on the cover – how simple is that? A book at your fingertips.

Force of Nature – Robin Leigh Miller

The blurb…

Markey Nevell was born with the unique gift of manipulating the air. A gift she would gladly give up for the chance at a normal life. Anger management is a concept Markey lives with every day. When her anger grows out of control her gift takes over, inflicting the source with the wrath of hell and the force of a tornado. Unable to control or understand how it works, she drifts around the country hoping to disappear in the crowd.
Trip Lindaur has his own gift, the ability to seek out and find those people trying to hide from the world. When he is hired to find the remarkable Markey, he assumes it will be just another job. He never counted on falling for her beauty and wit, or her charming innocence. After delivering her to the doctor that hired him, Trip’s world spirals out of control. He discovers he’s delivered Markey into the hands of a mad scientist that plans on dissecting her for his own twisted gain.
Saving her life is just part of the battle ahead. Will she forgive his betrayal, or will she once again disappear into the world?

The excerpt….

“What are you?” Denise asked peeking through the crack of the opened door.
“What do you mean what am I? I’m Markey Neville, your friend.”
“No. I saw you in that alley. You aren’t human. You were glowing, your eyes were like fire. My God you threw those men around like they were rag dolls. No human can do what you did. “
“Denise please, you’re confused.” If she could just convince Denise that she’d imagined the whole thing, that the trauma of the night had caused her to embellish what had really happened, then everything would fine.
“Don’t you try that psychology crap with me, I know what I saw. Now leave me and Sandy alone. We don’t ever want to see you again.” Denise kicked at Markey’s foot removing it from between the door and wall. “Freak,” she mumbled before slamming the door.
Tears streamed down Markey’s face as she left Denise’s apartment building. Freak, it always came down to that one word. It had to be the most hurtful word in the English dictionary. Nonetheless, it wasn’t the first time she heard it and it wouldn’t be the last.
Markey returned home to find her small house that she rented covered in smashed eggs with the word “freak” spray-painted in huge black letters across the front. The sound of hushed whispers came from behind her as the neighborhood gathered across the street to stare. Lying on the ground in front of her door was a newspaper with a large black and white picture of her. Over it read, “Is this woman a phenomenon?”
She stepped over it and unlocked her sticky, slimy door and proceeded inside. She knew what she had to do and without any hesitation she began packing. By the end of the day she had called her boss and quit, packed all important items and loaded her car. When nightfall came she slipped behind the wheel and began her search for her new home.

www.freewebs.com/amarindajones/

Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?