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Showing posts with label condoms. Show all posts
Showing posts with label condoms. Show all posts

Monday, 30 December 2013

Just let the writer write


Okay, so you all know you cannot at any time have sex without a condom. There are diseases you can get and there’s the whole pregnancy thing and some would say it’s not ‘nice’ dealing with sticky stuff. What? You've heard all that before?  It’s not what you believe?  Oh, you don’t care for the dictates of others? You’re saying you can do as your conscience sees fit and you are aware of consequences? Wow…well, okay, if you have a mind of your own that’s your choice. 

Here’s the thing, stories are just that – made up fiction. An author has an idea. They write it. It may or may not be based on their beliefs. A reader buys a story and reads it. The reader has a mind of their own. They read and evaluate using their belief system. It’s a no-brainer really. When someone reads a story with vampire sex – chances are pretty slim of sleeping with a vampire  - but if the question came up then the reader would make a decision based on her beliefs and not on what was written in a story. Sex with a condom or without a condom – same thing. A reader isn’t instantly going to change her sexual preferences based on whether a writer has a to semen or not to semen ethic. And writers? Hell, they’re not responsible if you get pregnant by a gargoyle just because the heroine in their story did. Gargoyle sex is a personal preference and not a decree by an author.

No writer is ever going to say in a story have sex or don’t have sex or use a condom or don’t use a condom or don’t ride a cowboy or be sucked by a vampire during sex or have gay sex, lesbian sex, man on the moon sex, clown sex…ok, I am going to draw the line at clown sex because clowns are creepy. It's no ones business what anyone else does - except for the clown thing of course. That'll send you straight to hell.
  
The thing is everyone is accountable for their own lives. No book or story or any piece of romantic or erotic fiction is going to make you do something you know in your heart you’re morally against. I wouldn’t expect that of anyone. I do, however, think some publishers are getting sillier by the second when they assume readers cannot make judgments for themselves and that as publishers, what makes their teeth grit, is not necessarily a moral indicator of what’s good and bad in the world. Sure, sure, they know what the trends are. They don’t want to buck the system. Buck it I say. Let the individual decide for themselves. Trends only come about when someone challenges the norm. 

Years ago, when I was writing for Ellora’s Cave, and every hero had to have condoms on or else you wouldn’t get published -  it’s probably still the same at EC -  I had a reader email me saying she liked one of my stories but she was – SICK OF CONDOMS!!!! I CAN MAKE MY OWN DECISIONS ABOUT SEX!  STOP THE CONDOMS! Yes, it was all in capitals. I’ve never forgotten it. I have it somewhere in my files. And I thought then as I do now, yep the woman is right. Readers are individuals who will read sex on their terms and make decisions based on their beliefs as to whether there is latex snapped on or not. 

Just let the writer write.           



Wednesday, 7 March 2012

Condoms...

So I was at Woollies – Woolworths Supermarket for non Aussies – and I was in the personal care aisle buying a specific L’Oreal night cream – because I’m worth it – and it was on sale so I was extra worth it - and there were 7 boy teenage boys a bit further down the aisle discussing condoms. Seriously. They were taking packets down – they’re always on the top shelf – and reading the merits of each. They were deadly serious in their research. I had to go past them, and they stepped aside respectfully, possibly scared I would run them down because I had the edgy after work look, and I said ‘school project boys?’ because there was major discussion going. Several went red and I just said ‘Good for you. We don’t have enough real men around.’

Condoms? Up to you whether you use them. I’m not about to preach but it was good to see these guys, undoubtedly horny as hell, were taking sex seriously. Maybe the future isn't screwed...er...or will be...carefully.

Friday, 16 December 2011

Got an email…

…from…er…let’s call her Lucy Lou. She wanted to know how I could write stories where the heroine doesn’t make the hero wear a condom. Very easily. I sit on my arse and write them. But seriously…I need to stop sitting so much…but really, the thing is Lucy Lou I’m not and never will be or allow myself to be the moral conscience of any other bugger on the planet. If you read my stories – fantastic – thank you. If you choose to act like the characters in those stories than it’s exactly that – your choice. Stories are fiction. Oh sure, writers use their own life experience but nowhere in a story will I or any other author I know write ‘and you should all go out and have sex with multiple men and use no condom.’ The thing is it’s fantasy. Do I personally think you should use a condom if you are fucking like a bunny with every man you meet? Yeah. But that’s not my call.

Romance writing is fiction. It’s a what if he did that to her thrill and what if she said yes to him?

Suck, blow, on, off, in, out…do what your conscience dictates.

Thursday, 27 May 2010

Rubber choices...


A man has been arrested in Australia for knowingly passing on the HIV virus to multiple sexual partners - and so he should have been arrested. In my view he has deliberately ruined women's lives for his own sexual gratification. I believe long handled, sharp bladed shears should be applied liberally to a certain part of his anatomy as a lesson. But that's me. I have my own idea of justice in things like this. They have been asking women who may have had sex with this man to come forward to be tested. Hmmm...while I absolutely agree condoms should be used for unprotected casual sex, clearly people still don't despite all the advertising. Look at these women - and, regardless what any of us believe, it’s their choice. You can’t make people do things unless you have a gun trained on them at the crucial moment…

This news story does interests me in the fact that some publishers lose the freaking plot if you write a romance/erotic romance book without condoms the minute there's an erection - unless a writer goes into a deep, usually convoluted reason why it is physiologically impossible for bodily fluids to pass from one character to another. Fair enough. That’s their call. But I ask this - if there are people having random non protected sex, and they read books, do you think they're going to take on board a long involved description on non possible body fluids swapping or give a crap that a writer has tried to write a condom putting on scene as hot and romantically as possible bearing in mind they’re dealing with a rubber tube? I think not. They’re still going to do what they’re gonna do. Do publishers have a moral obligation? Hmmmm…not sure on that. I do know none of us can pass judgment on another and just because you or I decree condoms must be in a book it doesn’t make it so in real life.

*********************
Amarinda Jones
Penn Halligan
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book

Monday, 15 March 2010

Catching hell…



Do As I Say comes out at the end of March. It has been pointed out to me that I could ‘catch hell’ for it. Maybe. Possibly. Why that warning to me? Well, no condoms are used in the book. Yes, yes, safe sex is imperative in real life. There is no question of that. But I also know readers are not silly enough to believe what happens in a romance story is real life nor a real life recommendation.

I’ve actually taken on advice from readers about the whole use of latex. One of top 5 questions from readers to me in emails is ‘why so many condoms in your books?’ Well, I believe in safe sex so that’s the reason. Several readers responded that they did too but they knew romance stories were fantasy and not real life so the need for fictitious characters to use condoms was not important. Interesting point. So I have been thinking on that some and decided with the detour to Penn Halligan – a wilder, raunchier side of me – I would go condomless because those readers are right. They’re not silly. They know real life from fantasy.

So, there it is. Will I catch hell? I expect so but I have caught hell before and pitched it back so I’m not too worried and writing wild is fun.

www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book

Monday, 14 September 2009

‘Got nothing much….


…other than I booked a trip to Darwin – the Never-Never. It’s up in the Northern Territory of Australia. Its home to Kakadu (Crocodile Dundee country) and Uluru (Ayres Rock). Why Darwin? Not sure. I just have this intense urge to go there and I always believe in following urges like this. Mind you, I’m not going until March. Why March? I looked at a calendar and March jumped out at me. For some reason I know I’m supposed to be in Darwin in March – and who am I to question the workings of kismet?

‘Got this though…

BREAD, cling wrap and chicken skin are being used as contraceptives by UK women, which may explain why it has the highest accidental pregnancy rate in Europe.

http://www.news.com.au/couriermail/story/0,23739,26035229-5013016,00.html

Okay, it’s not funny - but it is. Bread? Seriously? What nong would believe that? When I read this I thought of the reader emails I get asking me ‘why so many condoms’ in my books? Imagine how hard it would be to make using bread sexy in a book. What would the foreplay be like? She grabs the loaf tight to her naked breasts, drops her head down and tears a piece of bread off with her teeth, her eyes lock with his and she says, in between mouthfuls, “Do I need a half a slice or a full slice with you, big boy?” Or does he run a crusty baguette up and down her soft inner thighs and say, “Do you know what I’m going to do with this, darlin’?’" And she says “Not without butter and vegemite you’re not.”

This is what I think…safe sex is smart sex. Use the condom not bread. Bread is for toast and sandwiches. Don’t use it anywhere else.

www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book

Sunday, 12 July 2009

The Dolores dilemma…


In a new quest to change shake up my life and chi and karma and all those spiritual/new age thingies, I decided to rearrange the furniture in the house in a sort of half arsed feng shui way. Head slap. What a task that was. My bedroom alone took forever. I have the heaviest furniture - most of it dates back to the 1930’s – and dust – where the hell did all the dust come from? I don’t understand how dust gets under things because in theory if you cover something with a bed or a fainting lounge – don’t get me started on how heavy and awkward that is – then how does dust get under it? Hmmm?

Then there’s Dolores – see picture. I bought Dolores when I was 13. She is a 1960’s dressmaker mannequin. I don’t say ‘dummy’ because I feel Dolores may consider that negative. Isn’t she stylish? She’s dressed in a 1960’s Thai silk beaded dress and my hand embroidered 1920’s robe that I also bought when I was 13. Yes, I was odd back then too. Anyway, once I rearranged the bedroom, I realized there was nowhere for Dolores to stand and look glamorously stoic, as she does. What a conundrum. For the moment Dolores is standing in the middle of the bedroom until inspiration strikes me or I walk into her in the middle of the night…whichever comes first.

So, as I sorted through stuff I found really useful things on my bedside table like 1930’s opera glasses, a tin toy taxi, a dish of Anzac badges, three pens that wouldn’t work, a plastic fish, a collection of earrings and an unopened box of coloured condoms. As I have sworn off men, I was contemplating what to do with the condoms. I found these uses on the internet –
1. Hair tie
2. Slip 'er over a payphone to avoid "NASTY" germs
3. Bathing cap (if you stretch it in the right manner)
4. Neat travel case for your toothbrush
5. Wet suit for a ferret
6. Finger puppets
7. Travel size shampoo and conditioner holders
8. Use it to store that urine sample next time you go to the doc for a checkup
9. Latex toe warmers
10. Stuff, and use to stop drafts under doors
11. Fill with rocks and use to as a weapon in a crisis situation
12. Makeshift sandbags in the event of a flood
13. To keep candles dry when camping
14. To quickly fill water pistols
15. Change purse

http://www.tasgreetings.com/condom.htm

I’m liking the wet suit for a ferret thing. Now, I just got to find me a ferret….

Sunday, 31 May 2009

Bored and looking for something to do?


At a loose end? Click here - hours of fun for the whole family.

www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Monday, 16 March 2009

I got another condom email….


Have you got sponsorship was a condom company? You should because you write about them all the time.”

Yes – I do and that’s a good point. I must look into a sponsorship deal. Thank you for the email and the suggestion.

Recently at the Australian Romance Readers Convention in Melbourne I asked the audience at the erotica panel how they felt about condoms for the heroes. They didn’t like them. This makes sex hard…why? Because I don’t want the heroine getting preggers – yes, she’s on the pill but what if she missed a day? Haven’t we all done that? And, sexually transmitted disease is neither sexy nor romantic. So, write sex and be responsible yet make it romantic and not awkward – well – that’s just sex for you isn’t it?
Touch me there – not so hard – oh harder – faster – slow down, what’s your rush? Hurry up I’m going to come – where’s the condom – no condom ? Bummer - today’s Monday right - so if I take Sunday’s missed pill today with Monday’s and throw in Tuesday’s for luck – a orange condom – seriously - who even makes those? Well, yes a condom is important - I’ve never looked good in orange – What? I know I’m not wearing it – well hurry up then – where are you going to put it when we finish – oh no, not in my Little Miss Kitty waste basket – I wonder what’s on television – don’t put it in there – why? I’m not in the mood – oh yeah there’s good – you weigh a ton – do I look fat to you? O-o-o-h my goddddd…I have a leg cramp…

I was given some free books at the convention. One of them was about a surgeon who got his nurse preggers. She did the angst ridden oh-dear-he’s-going-back-to-tend-the-sick-in-upper-Kumbucka-west-how-noble-I-will-not-tie-him-down-with-me-and-a-child-so-I’ll-go-off-and-tell-everyone-it-was-a-virgin-birth…..riiiight. I have to ask why are all these doctors getting nurses in an ‘interesting condition.’ I know it’s fiction but as I reader I have to wonder if they missed the lectures on how babies are made. I know when I was at uni I often skipped lecturers but it only have got me a lower grade and never pregnant.

This made me laugh and reminded me of someone a long time ago….

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXsn3hZYhO8

The contest finishes at Midnight Monday – scroll below and email me your entry if you haven’t – if have you have than thank you. There is an Amarinda contest this week too…who am I again? I have no idea sometimes. Rowdy is released at Ellora’s Cave on Thursday.

www.amarindajones.com
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Friday, 16 May 2008

And if you love him
Oh, be proud of him
Cause after all he's just a man
Stand by your man
Give him two arms to cling to
And something warm to come to
when nights are cold and lonely

Stand by Your Man


I drove to work singing Tammy Wynette songs - primarily - Stand By Your Man - at the top of my lungs. I am an appalling singer but that does not stop me. All week I have been singing along to Pinks 'get-out-of-my-face-attitude-songs' because it has been a week like that. But today is Friday and it requires more dramatic loud to hell-with-everything-primarily-work songs. I think you'll agree Tammy had some dramatic songs. Dusty Springfield was good at that too. They're farewell, I'll-get-by-without-you-and-the-dog-just-leave-me-the-gin songs. Okay maybe not appropriate for some people but I like my Fridays dramatic because it's the start of the weekend and everything is possible.

I walked into work this morning and people were selling fund raising chocolates. Now I have never been able to walk past a chocolate in my life. It’s a genetic disorder which I have no intention of getting counseling for. I believe the eating of fund raising chockies to be a noble thing to do because the money is going to a good cause and therefore there is no fat transference to the eater of said charity chockie.

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.”--Elayne Boosler quotes

So, as per the usual work day, best friend Ethel emailed me from her work place across town. Basically she said “Lucy”- only she calls me that and its started as a code when we were in trouble and it stuck. “Lucy, all men suck and are guided purely by their penises and how can you possibly write about romance when all men are stupid?” Okay then...sounds like her husband…er…Fred…is going to have a tense evening. I personally do not believe all men suck - yes, some do, others blow, while the rest are okay. They're just a different species to women and sometimes it's hard to remember that isn’t it? As for writing romance - well, the very essence of romance is that the male is not sucky. I tend to avoid the hero coming across like that. Oh sure, he'll make mistakes and come across as an all knowing pain in the bum but he's loveable in that charming, incorrigible way. I believe that's what people want to read - real but flawed characters who eventually get their acts together and admit they love each other. As for these sucky men at Ethel’s workplace with their penises that seem to be annoying her...what can I say? Don’t look. Don’t touch and try to avoid said suckiness. If men suck = annoy - what do they do that annoys you the most? You can tell me – no men read this blog.

Quirky is sexy, like scars or chipped teeth. I also like tattoos - they're rebellious.
Jennifer Aniston

I have this fascination with tattoos at the moment. I saw this guy today with the most amazing tatt. He let me have a closer look at it. He was very proud of it and it was a beauty. I won’t say where it was or what it looked like as I plan to write it into a book. Anyway, I was never a big fan of tattoos until recently when I wrote Last Man Standing. And, to be honest I really only think they look good on men. There is something that seems so masculine about them. I used to have this neighbor who was a Maori. He had a tattoo that covered his face as per his tradition. His wife told me it frightened a lot of people. I found it quite fascinating. Anyway I expect I'll snap out of that whole tatt phase soon or maybe not…I quite like men with an earring too…


Sexy as socks on a rooster” -- unknown

Want to get people’s attention? Wear bright yellow socks. I had them on today with my Doc Marten Mary Janes and people seem to be riveted by the black and yellow striped socks. I like striped socks. I have quite a collection. But I have found people often stare at them as you cross you legs and your pants leg rises up. To be honest I don’t stare at people’s socks. What's the fascination? Can someone tell me please...or alternatively what do you find yourself staring at and you can’t help yourself?

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?” -- Phyllis Diller


I always go for a walk in my lunch hour just to get out of the office environment. I can’t stand walking from my desk to the lunchroom and then back to my desk. My arse in big enough without adding the extra sitting into the equation. Anyway I was walking along and I came across an unopened pack of condoms – obviously fallen out of a pocket. Boy, someone is probably missing those. It always amuses me the brand name on condoms. Mt Olympus, Apollo, Humongous - ok, I may have made that last one up. But they are always big, beefy, powerful names. These were 'Trojans'. Yes, to be a Trojan is in theory to be strong and enduring -a nice image for any man. However I always think of Trojans allowing the Greeks into Troy in the wooden horse and what a mistake that was. Hmmm…not sure I could take a man with Trojan condoms seriously but when in Rome…or Troy....

"If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun."-- Katharine Hepburn
Oh dear…I caused an 'incident' today. I was trying to look at someone’s blog at work and a big red warning sign came up telling me I was naughty and the incident was recorded and something about death and destruction would descend upon me. Excellent…I have always said you cannot have too much death and destruction on a Friday arvo. Anyway, soon someone came out and pointed out the error of my ways. I nodded and tried to look appropriately sorry even thought I was contemplating what to eat for dinner at the same time they were warning me. So, apparently it is now on record that I am bad to the bone. Naturally I am terribly worried - not about the record thing - but I can't decide what to have for dinner...

Please take a squiz at Anny’s blog - she is always most enlightening. Then have a look at Kelly’s to get your perkiness quota filled.

www.freewebs.com/amarindajones/
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Friday, 28 December 2007

OMG! We have no condom!


I had just finished writing the best romantic sex scene I had ever written and it suddenly occurred to me – the hero did not have on a condom. Bugger. I had to then go back and re-read what I had just written and work out where I could slide a condom into the action. Most annoying yet it is necessary when it comes to writing first time sex for characters. It’s hard enough trying to work out where hands and legs should be let alone getting a piece of rubber into the action. No, I’m not going to get all preachy about safe sex, suffice to say, you’re risking much not using a condom with a new lover. But that’s your choice.

There is always great debate in the romance writing world about the need to write condoms into the action. I don’t have a problem with it as realistically condoms, penises and sex just are what they are. Until the characters are in a committed relationship – sex is not on until it’s on. I think Julia Roberts'

character in Pretty Woman summed it up when she said. “I’m a safety girl.” But various authors have various ways of getting out of using them on their characters. Some set their stories in futuristic worlds whilst others have their characters live in the realms of fantasy where disease and unwanted pregnancies are not an issue. One author I know sets her books in the 1980’s where the pill was apparently enough to stop anything major happening to her characters. While I respect her writing, I can’t agree with that. I travelled a lot overseas in the 80’s and AIDS was a huge concern then as it is now.

I did once unintentionally embarrass a man dreadfully when I was working in London in Superdrug (Supermarket chain). I was called to give a price check but I could not see what the other staff member was holding up at the other end of the store so I yelled out –

A - “What is it?”
She yelled back “Durex”. The man went red.
A- I yelled back “Oh condoms, what size?” The man scarpered from the store. Oh dear. No sex that night for him I suspect.

Anyway, to each their own. Put it on, don’t put it on. Write it in or not. I totally understand why Publishers want to see it written in. They, along with the author, have a responsibility to present a book that reflects issues that affect society even if it is a fictitious romance. I also understand the argument that fiction is just that. It’s an escape and the rules of the normal world do not necessarily apply. I’m not sure what a reader thinks but I would like to know.

So, I wrote the condom in. I like to try and make it a team event with the hero and heroine getting that pesky bit of latex on and whatever interesting things develop from all that touching, tugging and rolling. It’s better to write it in now than have my diligent editor say “Where’s the condom, Amarinda?” I am a trial to the woman I know. If it’s not condoms and Aussie slang then its head banging – no, that has nothing to do with condoms per se.

Speaking of condoms…Thief of Mine excerpt – **Be warned – sexual content may offend.

Stella smiled wickedly at both men. It was kind of funny that they wanted her all hot, naked and depraved as long as she was comfortable.
“Condom.” Stella held her hand out to Kit. She wanted to be fucked now.
Kit felt around in his pocket and swore.
“Frig! I don’t have one.”
“I do man!” The cleaner reaching into his bulging pants and pulled out a small foil packet and handed to Stella.
Stella leaned in and kissed the man’s cheek. The man groaned at such a simple action. He grabbed his crotch in response. Stella smiled at his reaction. He may be making the rules but he was just a man who could easily be brought to his knees by the thought of sex. She opened the packet and removed the condom.
“It’s black.” And wickedly ribbed, not that Kit needed any extra help but those ribs looked awfully thick and stimulating. She turned to the man “You’re not black.” What was the point of a black condom if you were white? She looked down at Kit’s tumescent cock. It would be interesting it seeing it all black though. Maybe there was a point after all. And those ribs…

“The ladies like ’em black.”
Stella didn’t want to imagine him and the “ladies”. She just wanted Kit inside her, black, white or brindle. She grabbed his cock and rolled on the ribbed condom. Oh my. There was something to be said about black and it wasn’t always slimming.
Today's quote - Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere
--Helen Gurley Brown

On that naughty note, please check out the pure of heart Anny and Kelly on
www.annycook.blogspot.com and www.kkirch.blogspot.com.

www.freewebs.com/amarindajones/
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for? amarinda_jones@yahoo.com.au