Licking pointy bits...

So, I got an email response from a friend today that said something along the lines of it was ok not to be able to do a certain thing because like elbow licking some things aren’t possible. Naturally, I tried to lick my elbow. I couldn’t. Go on, try it. You know you want to. If you can’t and desperately want to have the ability to lick long range pointy bits then I have the instructions. Actually, there are heaps of instructions on the internet on the art of elbow licking.

"If you cannot see or feel if you are actually licking your elbow, put an edible substance, perhaps salt, sugar,lemon juice, etc. on your elbow -- if you taste the substance you know you're licking it. You can also ask someone to watch, unless you are afraid you might be embarrassed if your attempt fails. You can also take a picture or look in the mirror to see. Don't get frustrated if you can't do it, it's a very rare trick to do."

http://www.wikihow.com/Lick-Your-Elbow

Uh-huh...

I particularly like this bit –

“Your tongue is bound to feel overstretched after this exercise, this is normal, it will stop shortly after you do.”

Exactly…

See what happens when you question man’s inhumanity to man, the price of eggs, the wisdom of the ages and ask the universe where you’re going and what time you'll get there? It all comes down to elbow licking…

Arse and elbows...

I was in my office today bored as all get out praying the day would be called off due to lack of interest. I did ask the receptionist to announce that over the PA but she indicated it probably wasn't a good idea. Bummer. Now, while I had a shiteload of work to do my motivation muscles weren’t working. They had frozen up and refused to propel me into action.

Where are you motivation muscles located you ask? Well, they move round a lot depending on what you have to do, if the moon is full and if Tim Tams are on sale. It's all highly scientific. For example - an office worker - their motivation muscles are located in the arse and elbows. Arse muscles - have to be made of steel to sit for long dreary hours. Elbows - need to be strong so when you lean forward on the desk, due to sheer and utter boredom, your face doesn't smack into the keyboard. Good, dedicated office workers are all arse and elbows. I'm not one of those. My arse wasn’t motivated today because I kept getting up and wandering aimlessly and I have ‘qwerty’ imprinted on my forehead due to dodgy elbows. Lordy it's hard when your arse and elbows aren’t up to the challenge.

Amarinda Jones
Penn Halligan
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book