No, you shut up...

Brain – Wake up.

Body – Go away. I’m trying to sleep.

Brain – It’s 4:30am. It’s time to exercise! We love exercise!

Body – It’s Sunday. Piss off. Go without me – and no, we don’t. You’re deranged.

Brain – Oh come on, you know you like getting up early and torturing yourself.  

Body – Er, no, actually I don’t. All that endorphin shit you try to flood me with is plain annoying.

Brain – Come on fatso, get up. Don’t you want to grow up big and strong?

Body – Seriously, fuck off and let me sleep.

Brain – I can’t, Tubby.

Body – I know. You’re a pain in the arse. Anyway, it’s pouring down rain outside. I’ll get wet and melt.  

Brain – Shut up and stop whining.  

Body - No, you shut up.

Brain – Don’t you want to look all trim and lovely?

Body – Right now, podgy and feral looking work for me.

Brain – I’m just doing my job.

Body – Yes.

Brain – Work with me.

Body - No, rack off.

Brain - You're difficult but I like you and I believe -

Body – You’re not going to shut up are you?

Brain – Come on – you know me - I’m annoying. You love that about me.

Body – Fine. Whatever. I’ll get up.

Brain – That-a-girl! Go team! You can do it!

Body – Did I mention shut up before?

Brain – I knew you’d get up.

Body – Smart arse.

Ladies work...

So, I was working at my desk and, let’s call him Sam, the cleaner, came through to sweep and mop etc. He’s also one of the mechanics in the workshop. He’s a nice guy. As he was working some of the other mechanics wandered and Sam said to them, “Just doing ladies work.” I turned to him and said. “What was that?” His response was to blush and say, “Just talking tough in front of the boys.” The boys all then looked sheepish as men do when confronted by lovely, yet scary, women such as myself. I smiled and said, “It will take years for you all to be as tough as women.” One bloke nodded and said, “Yep, I just do what the wife tells me to do. I don’t want no trouble.”

Men – delightful souls when trained well.