The penis lover...

I was driving home last night after the basketball – which the home team won – amazing, Grace – and I was thinking about life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, men and all that male-dom encompasses, the battle I’m fighting and questions like did I have enough petrol to get home? When did I eat last? Lordy, I’m tired, tired, tired. How much money do I have in my purse? And then, for some reason a person I used to work with, maybe 10 years ago, came to mind. Why? I dunno. Her name was er, let’s say Odette…yes, Odette. As I drove in the dark, I recalled the first time I met her. I was working at Telstra – pukeable telecommunication company – and I moved desks – they did that a lot at Telstra – think Titanic and the deck chairs - to sit next to her. As I dumped my crap on the desk, she turned and said to me ‘”I like penis – a lot and I’m very loud and I’ll drive you crazy.” My response to that was  “I’m happy you like penises. I have no personal objection to them. However considering your ‘very loud’, I’d prefer you don’t bring a penis to the desk and get all excited 'cause I will have to tell you to shut up.” We got on well, me and Odette, the penis lover. I’m not sure what happened to her in the end. There were lots of stories about Odette. I do know the very last time I saw her she had come stomping into work, a plastic bag in her hand and the charred remnants of her work uniform inside. “I set it alight last night,” She said to me in a casual who-gives-a-crap-tone. “Good one,” I responded, because I always enjoy decisive action. She then marched up to management, handed them the scraps of uniform and then left the building, head held high and undoubtedly thinking about the pursuit of penises.

So, what does that all mean in the scheme of things and of me, driving home in the dark, contemplating life? I think it is supposed to mean that it’s okay to set things alight to in order to move on and that sometimes you have to declare your intentions and your desires – be they penises or not – and just get on with who you are as a person without thinking about petrol, food, the arseholes you battle or tiredness because you only get so many chances to burn bridges and to right wrongs. It’s all just about declaring who you are, defying those who don't like that  and then keep moving regardless of what's ahead. 

Nipples? Not so much…

 So, I’ve been trying to work out why people read my blog as it’s not really riveting stuff yet people keep coming back. It’s more a random thoughts of the day blog. So, every so often I put tag lines like ‘nipples’ on to see if people read because of the titillation factor…no, I’m not pardoning the pun. I did it a while ago with ‘pointy penises in pink panties’ and I have to tell you that nipples and penises do not attract substantially any more  readers to said blog. They are on par with ‘goat track’, ‘pay attention stupid’, ‘sauté a wildebeest’ or ‘cellulite.’ Of course with other writers  reading the blog, the big tag lines are ‘non payment of royalties’ and the ever popular Noble publishing debacle – and I have to absolutely thank Anom – remember her? She went on every ex-Noble writer’s blog and stamped her feet, vented her spleen, pretended to be someone she wasn’t when we all knew who she was and basically vowed she would ‘purse’ people instead of pursue them. Now she attracted, and still does, a bucket load of attention to the blog. Sad thing is I never heard from her again but I hope you still read the blog, Anom. I miss you. No really, I like the insane.

So there. Nipples. Not so much. Penises? Sure, they’re out there. Why do people read stuff? I don’t know. I expect if we did know we’d all do better.      

Of princes, piercings and penises…

So I spent some time on the weekend researching Prince Albert for the book I’m almost finished writing. No, no, I’m not that fast a writer. I started this one a while ago and got side tracked on other projects – I’ve just come back to it now. Thankfully, there’s not much to finish on it.

Anyway – Prince Albert – yes, correct - he was married to Queen Victoria in one of those inter-bred marriages that all monarchies did back then to assure power, keep it all in the family and not to have some nasty non royal type person think they could wear a crown. Oh puke – commoners. Hence why lots of monarchies crashed and burned and the ones we have today – apart from the Danish one – an Aussie girl is princess there and she has amazing class, as all Aussies do – are always in the tabloids and considered somewhat of a joke.

But back to Prince Albert – no, I wasn’t researching the actual Prince type person per se – it was more about genital piercing. See here – that is if you’re not shocked easily. Otherwise don’t look. Why the sudden interest in genital piercing for my hero? I had a chat to someone who has it – actually multiple genital piercing. Youch! I saw a video on that. And no, I declined to look at his piercings. ‘Seen one penis– seen ‘em all regardless of the hardware that bedecks them. But the piercing aspect – the whys and wherefores - interested me and it fitted in with the story I was writing.

The life of writer is never boring…people will tell you their deepest secrets. Why? ‘Not sure. Maybe they think anyone who writes erotic romance is unshockable. Maybe they just want to tell someone stuff…I’ll always listen… go on…tell me…

www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book

Dear Amarinda…

So I got this email last night in relation to yesterday’s blog – see below – the one about eye for an eye.

“Do you hate men so much that you would advocate the cutting off of penises?”

As promised to the sender I would not put her name on the blog. Firstly – thanks for the email. Opinions are always good and the best ones come through amarinda_jones@yahoo.com.au.

My answer – no, on the contrary – I love men – they fascinate me. They are funny, complex, moody, smart, smart arse, loving, boyish, arrogant silly, crazy, sweet, stroppy, maddening, strong individuals. As for hatred, my mother always instilled in us the belief that ‘you only hate what you fear.’ I fear very little and the only thing I truly hate is baked beans…not sure how that works in line with childhood teachings…but there is it… However – and there is always a ‘but’ or a ‘however’ lurking – I am intolerant to injustice and prejudice against any minority group who has no power or voice. I am against people who preach one thing and then do another. I am against people feeling helpless. I am intolerant of bullies who use the name of religion to keep others under the thumb.

“I could suggest cutting off his penis to even things up – be a warning to others - maybe then he could know what it feels like to be a woman in a world where being born without an appendage between your legs gives you no power.”--AJ Blog 06/03/09

It was merely a suggestion, not an advocation. It is the thought that sometimes those people in authority need to have power taken from them – to become one of the downtrodden – to understand that the their idea of justice or beliefs is inhumane and wrong.

And on the whole, I find penises quite useful…

Will I write a similar blog to this again? Most certainly. And yes – absolutely email please. I am interested by all thoughts.

www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?