Life...who knew...

I was driving through the early morning, darkened streets of Cairns to go to the gym and was thinking to myself about all the paperwork/appointments I have to finish/make for the purchase of my house – in Cairns…and then it hit me…huh…I’m living in Cairns…who’d of thunk it? How life changes. That inane question ‘where do you see yourself in 5 years’ is neither credible nor logical to me as who knows where life will take you? No one can plan that far ahead. I often think about several years ago when I was aimlessly floundering and I was offered two jobs and had to choose which one to take. I took the job with the stupid company and the minute I walked into the building I knew in my bones it would be a crap job – but then I started talking to the laid back, crazy, banana time people in the Cairns office and then voila…fate stepped in and said ‘this is where you’re supposed to be, stupid.’ Who knew? Five years from now? I don’t want to know. Surprise me.

Amarinda Jones
Penn Halligan
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book

Who Knew by Amarinda Jones in Romance

Who Knew by Amarinda Jones in Romance

By way of an experiment, when I couldn’t sleep last night, I ventured into Lulu self publishing territory. Why? Because I could and because Pallavi Agarwal inspired me to do so when she put her book Slow Burn on Lulu. What will be the result into self-pubbing? Not sure but it’s the first step into having my own publishing site and what the hell – life is a risk so why not take a chance on all things unknown?

Amarinda Jones
Penn Halligan
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book

Pointy penises in pink panties….

I know – you’re thinking why the above title? What does that have to do with the flying pig picture? Is she out of her mind? Frequently – but there is method in my madness and no, I haven’t been dressing men in pink, frilly knickers…hmmm…now there’s a thought…anyway, the title is an experiment. I’ll tell you about it soon.

But really, other than the penis in pink panties experiment, there is, at this moment, nothing to report. The flying pig you ask? You know that expression “if wishes had wings pigs would fly?” I have one wish I need granted – the power to forget someone - and if I see a flying pig right now I may just believe in miracles.

So until next time, I’ll leave you with this song…one of my faves…and really who does know? Stuffed if I do.



www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book

The important things in life….

…I was trying on this pair pants at Target yesterday…they were too big – yay me…anyway, while I was mentally high fiving myself, I looked at my thighs in the mirror. Holy snapping ducks! Oh the horror! Is it legal to have that much cellulite? And that arse? Is that mine or did someone follow me into the changing room – the room with the ghastly bright lighting that should be outlawed? And why are all the mirrors so realistic? Why can’t changing rooms have mirrors with the funhouse obscure effect? You know – blurry, thinning, maybe not there…

But – in reality none of that’s important is it? Fat thighs and a fat arse do not mean a great deal in the scheme of thing…other than you always have something comfortable to sit on. What are the important things? Well there’s lots of stuff… chocolate can be very important…but at the moment I’m concentrating on people….ooh chocolate people would be excellent wouldn’t they? All that licking and biting…though some people don’t have to be made of chocolate for that…hmmm…anyway…back to the topic… people – you know I realized once more how lucky I am this week. I have people who unconditionally understand me and will slap me around the head if I lose the plot and panic. That’s important. You need people who will shake their head and tell you to get a grip, who will lie for you or who will make you feel good with just a simple phone call or email. Speaking of emails…I cannot begin to express my appreciation at all the readers who have read my free book – Who Knew – and emailed or messaged me to tell me how much they enjoyed it and other books. You have made my week and I cannot thank you enough. I am quite gobsmacked by the response.

Thank you

Amarinda

Rambulations…

Who Knew – now available at Ellora’s Cave. It’s a free Amarinda book – just click on the cover and download the story. What’s it about? Sex, romance, men who get in your face and make you crazy…usual stuff…

Shoulder pads…

…I thought they went out of fashion with Alexis Carrington in Dynasty. I never really understood why a woman wants to look like a line backer. Yes, I am lucky I do have good shoulders. Actually, they’re probably the only part of me sans cellulite. There you go – a bright spot. Anyway I bought this shirt – purple – matches my eyes - and it had shoulder pads. Seriously? It’s 2009? I ripped those suckers right out. Haven’t we graduated from looking butch? Can’t we have sloping, thin, sagging or girly shoulders? And who looks at someone’s shoulders anyway? Okay – I will admit I’m quite keen on a man’s shoulders but it’s more the structure, shape and touchability (could be a made up word) factor. Men don’t generally wear shoulder pads. I say ‘generally’ because one of my many, many jobs – 29 in all - was working as a trainee manager, after I left high school, in a large department store. We got rotated through all the departments including menswear and I learned a lot about what men wear and the secrets they hide.


I could tell you some stories about men and clothes and what they want measured. Did I measure anyone? Sure waist, chest and neck – anything else I called a male colleague. Why? Because only a dipstick male seeking some perverted thrill would ask an 18 year old female sales assistant to measure his inside leg and I do not drop to my knees for anyone. Besides, I kind of liked watching B, one of the sweetest, gayest men, jumping in to help me in situations like this. He would act extra ‘gay’ at times like this to make me laugh and make the man he was measuring very, very nervous.

Anyway – what men disguise – shoulders – a lot of suits got sent away for extra special padding to accentuate the shoulders. Feet – no man will admit to small feet and the majority, I found, bought shoes larger that they should be. And no, I don’t think there is any correlation between foot size and penis size. All women know that but clearly some men believe it. Underwear…oh lordy – you do not want to know what some men buy. I think we’ve all come across men who use padding to…well, I’m not sure why they shove padding down the front of their jocks. It’s not like a woman can’t tell…so why would a man bother? But, as a then fresh faced 18 year old, I was agog when B told me. Now at 45 it takes a lot to agog me. Actually best friend Ethel and I were only talking about a man we used to work with at Promptel (code word for crapacious phone company) who used to pad the front of his tight, tight trousers. It fascinated all the women as the padding would constantly shift through the day until it was sliding down his leg. You have to wonder why you would bother, though it did keep us all amused.

Padding? Be yourself. Our original design although flawed is what we were meant to be and quirky is sexy.

www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?