Termeritously yours...

So, I've been thinking about the name for a female nemesis. I've also been dealing with this situation. Writing versus life. Then the name of the nemesis was given to me by something happening in my life. I'm calling her Temerity Cann©. Why? Because someone in real life is pissed that women can be strong and bold enough to fight against dickheads.  

So, thanks so much for shoving the word 'temerity' in my face. You know how much you mean to me.

When I grow up...

So, I've been working this temp gig to earn some money because for some reason the Lotto doesn't seem to paying me out millions of dollars. Kinda weird really because that's why I play it but there you go. 

I was working with this woman yesterday - actually, working is probably the incorrect term as we spent most of the day talking. After talking to her I've decided I want to grow up to be her. Why? Because when she retired she and her partner hit the road and travelled Australia working odd jobs and seeing the country and basically just enjoying the adventure. Currently she lives on a boat in the Whitsundays and they travel up and down the east coast of Australia just going where they want and living as they please. No, they're not rich. They worked hard all their lives and saved to get to the point where they are now. Talking to her was like talking to myself in 15 years time. 

I believe every so often life gives you glimpses of the future to remind you that yes, you may be going through crapacious times but there is a reason to it all so hold on and do what you have to in order for better days to come. I believe...

In the state of what-the-fuckery...

 

So life has been very weird, complex, difficult, different and sporadic for a while. But that happens. It's probably all to do with the tides, the moon, what colour undies you're wearing, what fruit is in season, the job market and complex stuff like that. It's been trying. But I also keep trying purely because as annoying as life can be, I can be more so.

 

Jobs have been weirdly sporadic and since being made redundant last year, I've done a lot of diverse things. I'm flexible like that. You wanna pay me? Sure I'll turn up. No, I'm not much fussed what I do for the money because I'm sure I'll be able to do it because like any hired gun flexibility is the key and hell, longevity is not an issue. Like Darth McVader above. Give me a moment and I'm sure I can take a crack at the unicycle thing. As for bagpipes? How hard can they be? 

I got a call from the temp agency today to do some work this week and next. It's essentially telling people where to go. You know - directions - go left, go right, go to the far queue. I said - sure, no worries. One day I may get a real job but due to this cycle of what-the-fuckery that I find myself in, I can be a temporary person once more. Pay me and it shall be.

 

Alpha, Bravo, Cheesecake, Donut...that's a Code 1C with rainbow sprinkles on top...

So, after 5 weeks of trying to learning ambulance codes and not getting them quite right, I said to myself "Self, what the fuck are you doing here? It’s time to move on to something else, girlie." I took my advice because I know what I’m talking about when it comes to me. I’ve had a long association with myself and while it has often been a trying one, on the whole I believe I’m sensible. And codes? They're like algebra to me and getting them 90% right is not good enough when you’re dealing with people’s lives.

So, I approached the powers that be and said, this is not working. They were nice about it in a surprised kinda way because most people don’t admit they don’t get it completely. But then, I’m not most people. If I don’t know, I say. I’m brave enough to speak my mind, cut my losses and walk away. And, can I say that walking away was like the last scene in The Nun Story. It's one of my all time fave movies. Have you seen it? No? Well, Audrey Hepburn packs  in the nunnery because it’s not for her – me neither – all those grand silences, rules and obedience would do my head in. I'm not good with rules. Anyway Audrey gets all her nun gear stripped from her and then she has to sign a bunch of documents and gets counselled etc. It was exactly like that but for the nun gear. As I signed for the eighth and final time, I said to the form person "This is like The Nun Story." She didn’t get it and that’s okay and pretty much life really. Sometimes we just don’t get things. 

Good thing is I have the story in mind to write, characters and the job experience for the next story. See? No experience is ever wasted.   

Me and Marx...

 

I have a confession to make. I’m a crammer.  I have been for years. My version of studying is trying to shove as much knowledge into my brain at the last second in the vain hope I’ll remember something. I recall one exam that was to do with Marxism –no, I’m not sure why I was studying that at University. I just was. Anyhow I stood outside the exam chanting to myself, over and over, these tenets of Marxism and wondering at the same time why I was doing it because I thought Marxism was bollocks. Have you noticed that anything with an ‘ism’ is used to sound important and but essentially, in the end, its bollocks? And yes, I did pass the exam on Marx but stuffed if I can remember what his tenets were. But that’s ok, he doesn’t known my tenets so were even. But I digress – so I’m a crammer. Currently I have 4 – yes 4 - pukeable exams next week and I’m cramming info for the first into my brain now. Tomorrow night I’ll cram the second lot and so on. As each exam passes I will instantly forget whatever I’ve learned. Let’s face it – some people are studiers and live by dried out, old theories. Then, there are others like me and you – the normal-ish people – who live life, not always the politically correct way but they do okay and remember important, obscure facts to sprout out over a glass of wine on a warm summer day. 

Life – cram it in then let it go.    

No Skinnie Minnies here...

HILDA Evelyn Kottman is a self-styled bad arse.

She's been inked, she gambles, collects boyfriends and loves whiskey.

Oh, and she's 103 years old.

http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/real-life/hilda-evelyn-kottman-is-the-worlds-coolest-grandma/story-fnixwvgh-1226789989366

Go Hilda. To thine own self be true.

Where do you want to go?

“Alice came to a fork in the road. 'Which road do I take?' she asked.
'Where do you want to go?' responded the Cheshire Cat.
'I don't know,' Alice answered.
'Then,' said the Cat, 'it doesn't matter.” 

~Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

I wrote stuff today...

I haven't written in ages due to various things, situations and life stuff. But, I picked up one of 4 half finished stories and banged out a bunch of words. I'm happy with that. 

Life - don't it just get in the way of stuff?  

Words to live...

“You can't get a suit of armour and a rubber chicken just like that. You have to plan ahead.”
- Michael Palin

"In the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away."

- shing xiong

"Don't sleep in a subway, darlin'..." 

-  Dusty Springfield.

"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much."

- Oscar Wilde

"You can't always get what you want..."

- The Rolling Stones.

"I don't know why I should have to learn Algebra... I'm never likely to go there."
- Billy Connolly. 

"I think that's the whole point of Bridget Jones. It's all about that it's okay to fail."

- Hugh Grant.

"Let it be." 

- The Beatles.

"I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end."

- Margaret Thatcher.

"Don't criticize what you can't understand."

- Bob Dylan  

Yeah...that's pretty much it...

...in light of being blessed, I think I will grow my hair...

Look at you kid...

I was looking for some pictures from my last High School – no Liz, I haven’t found them yet – but I did stumble across pictures in several albums of me and my younger brother and my ex-brother as kids. The kid, back row, third from the left as you look at the picture, is me. I would have been 8, I guess. I’m standing next to the blonde kid who was the world’s most popular girl at that school and could do no wrong. As I recall I did a lot wrong but there it is. Start as you mean to go on. I wonder what happened to Miss Popular? Anyway I was looking a mini me and thinking, boy oh boy, kid nothing turned out like you expected it to did it?  But that’s okay. In my own way, I’ve done okay and I’m good with that.   

The crazy woman with all the life experience?

I was talking to this job agency woman.  She had read my resume and was telling me how great my work experience is and how few people had a solid, varied working past like mine. If only she knew she got the cleaned up, homogenised and abridged resume version…but I digress. Then she said the problem is I’ve had too much life experience too fast. Well, fuck it, remind me next life to slow down.

This is how I see life. It comes at you fast and you have to move with it or get hit by it. If you do get hit you get up and remember that fall and vow to rebound faster. The agency chick? She’s a safe and steady kinda gal. There’s nothing wrong with that but we’re never going to speak the same lingo. Anyway, I thanked her for her time. Later, she rang me about a job to consider. Who me? The crazy woman with all the life experience?  

But the thing is I’ve already picked up my next temp job. I like temping. You never get bored, you learn lots of stuff and you meet amazing people.  The only small, weeny problem is I may have picked up another temp job at the same time. Oops. A tad problematic but I expect life experience will kick in and give me the solution. That or I feel a lot of creative wordage (lying) coming up as I tap dance around the issue of two jobs.

Life – what fun it is. Go, get out there – experience it.       

Merde! Whatever...

I was sitting on the wall of the Cairns Esplanade, as I do every Sunday morning après run and swim, drinking coffee and watching the tide come in. I was also listening in, quite unashamedly, on a conversation between two French tourists. From what I could work out, from my high school French, it was all about another woman and a man and they were pretty pissed off at her because he shouldn’t be seeing her. I suspect he was supposed to be with one of the other woman. The thing that fascinated me about their convo was the word ‘whatever’ was sprinkled liberally among the flying French words.

Elle est moche. Je ne vois pas pourquoi il aime sa mais whatever.

Il peut avoir. Whatever. Eiffel Tower. Sacre Blue. 

Pierre veut simplement le sexe – vol au vent! Lacoste. Peu!

Whatever! Il est un cochon! Me donner gateau! Whatever. Croissant! Éclair! Merde!

J'espère que sa balle tomber! Whatever. Poisson!    

Whatever! J'ai besoin de café avec mon gâteau!

Me donner vin! Patisserie!!! Arc de Triomphe! 

Merde! Whatever! Pompadour!  

Uh huh...

I saw this on Facebook….

“One way or another, make him desire you.”  

I find this scary because undoubtedly someone will believe you can make a person love you – and you probably can. I don’t know. Is that really the kind of love a person would want?   

To me, it’s creepy, obsessive and bordering on stalking….  

Love. It happens or not. That’s just life.  You get what you need when you need it. Don't go buying advice to hunt down love. That always ends in tears.      

My conclusion...

...driving home this afternoon was I'm going to become a Nun or a Stripper. I'm just not sure which.

Or maybe I'll just get a 
pony.

Life...what a conundrum it is at the moment...

But that’s life and stuff for you....

The first thing I saw on the internet hit me so forcibly that I could only stare at the image for several long minutes thinking to myself, “Bloody hell. You have to snap out of this, girl.” What was it? Stuff. Painful, oh-for-god-sake stuff. But we all have stuff in our lives. Some stuff hits you harder than other stuff. Actually, it’s been a year of stuff that has hit hard – very fucking Chuck Norris hard. Luckily, I am made of tougher stuff and staring at this image on the internet made me realize that I’m pretty much unbreakable now. It also made me start writing again in a massive stream of words about this woman dealing with stuff and the very-possibly-stupid stuff she does to handle stuff in her life. I haven’t written for ages due to the stuff that had been going on. But I’m back to it. Will anyone be interested in my stuff filled epiphany? Who knows? The thing is with writing you put your stuff out there and if someone buys it great. If they don’t? Well, just move on, baby…there’s other stuff to deal with.    

And hey, thanks to everyone who kept on reading or checking up on the blog even though I hadn’t written stuff for ages due to stuff. I appreciate your stuff.     

I'm still standing...

Yes, I am still writing. No, I’m not rushing to get anything out there. I’m writing an ongoing series that requires re-checking the last story with the current and making sure story number five ties up elements in the other four stories. It is romantic but it’s not a wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am story. There’s nothing wrong with those stories. They’re just not where I’m where mind is focused at the moment and I don’t feel inclined to followed trends. Is it about growing as a writer? Nah, I don’t believe in all that existential, fluffy bullshit reasoning used to explain why you're wasting time contemplating your navel. It’s simply about doing something different. Will it sell? Who knows? As someone who dabbles in writing, I believe you have to be realistic and accept things sell or they don’t and you write as your conscience dictates without worrying about anything else. That’s how I started this gig all those years ago and that’s how I’ll finish it…whenever that may be. Writing. It can be something you do. Life is something you live. Don't confuse the two.

Life...throw the dice...

One of the few really good decisions I made in my life was to quit my job in Brisbane and hit the road to Cairns two and a bit years ago. I had no job in Cairns to go to, no home and I only knew a couple of people.

This morning, as I ran along the Cairns Esplanade, I stopped in my tracks and took a picture of the sunrise. No decision could have been any better.

Life – throw the dice. Take a risk. I bet it’ll be worth it.  

Adapt or die...

...ain't that just like life...

Suck it up princess...

I had this moment of intense disappointment today. You all know what it’s like. You want something so badly and you find out you can’t have it and in that moment your heart sinks and you want to descend into ‘but I want it’ and why 'can't I have it' whining. However, I stopped myself when it occurred to me that I’m 49 years of age and never in those 49 years has whining ever made me feel better. The thing is we - I - set myself up to want everything and 90% of the time I know I will get what I want because I make it happen. Wanting is not a bad thing. Ambition is great. Falling flat on your arse? Cellulite rebounds and you just aim for the next thing you desire. 

Never lose your cellulite. It's what keep us rebounding.