The Kings of Scotland...

So, I’ve accepted this new job that will be a challenge. The fact that it will be a new challenge doesn’t bother me. I view challenges as a renewal of spirit and I'm one of those weird, confident people who like radical change. I did, however, have one moment when I was reading through the info that was sent to me to sign and I thought ‘Crap, I hope I’m smart enough to pass this medical study’. It was then that I could hear my mother’s voice saying to me, as she did when we were kids, ‘You are descended from the Kings of Scotland. Of course you can do it.’ It was Mum’s rallying cry. I remember Mum always saying this. It instantly made me straighten my spine and forge on ahead regardless of whether I succeeded or fell on my arse.

So, I gird my loins and go forth, with royal Scottish blood in my veins, and I will pass because I am descended from the Kings of Scotland and nothing can stop me.  

Bloody Zorco....

So, I’m on my second last final test or as I’m now thinking of this thing I’m doing – second last challenge of Zorco to grab the golden chalice, run across the burning bridge, as arrows fly by all the time avoiding the dragon trying to fry my arse. 

Second last thing? I had to do a medical test today to prove that I am human, female, healthy and I don’t know what else. To be honest, when I was trying to pee in the tiny cup they give you – which is damn near impossible, in my experience, to not pee on your hand – I thought to myself, thinking about the truly crapacious year I have been experiencing “Jeez, woman if this really worth it? What if you don’t pass these bloody Zorco challenges? What then?” Answer? Well, I’ll get by. Forge ahead. Be all that I can be because it occurred to me that I am pretty much damn near indestructible and if I don’t match up to the Zorco thing – no, I have no idea who Zorco is, it just seemed like a good name - then I will continue on, in my own sweetly determined way and something else will come up. So, I marched, pee container in hand and gave it to the nurse, assured in the knowledge that my hands were washed and I could do just about anything.

One test left. Bring it, Zorco…I'm waiting for ya.

Weird thing…

 ….I was running up a hill Monday morning thinking I hate this, it hurts, I’m going to die or at least drown in my own sweat, that is if I don’t run out of breath and expire before my legs drop off – and then, when I got to the top and went back down and looked back up the hill, ready to run it again, as only the insane do, it occurred to me that I need the challenge of doing the seemingly impossible. I need to feel exhausted and broken knowing that I can and I will regenerate and do it all again.

Weird the things we need.

Determination…

On the Cairns Esplanade this evening, it was pouring down rain, I was sopping wet, my hair was plastered to my skull and neck, I was covered in sand from boot camp exercises and other people had given up and dropped into a walk because it was wet and hard to do. But I ran ‘til the end. Why? Because I could and four weeks ago I could only run a bit. But now? I run to the end and feel damn good within myself when I do. One woman asked how did I get so good? Determination baby. Never, ever give up. I like that about me. I like it a lot.

Go on - you can do whatever you want...

…all right for fighting…

“How much time do you want to spend fighting with them?” Author Anny Cook asked me that in an email today. It’s a really good question that applies to so many things in life and no one particular incident.

How far should we push something to get what we know is right and fair? Why should we accept crap? Why can’t we ask for more and better? Why can’t we challenge authority? It’s certainly an Aussie thing to do and it’s the Jones family manta – but every so often I do wonder why I bother trying to fight nitwits and fools. Some times it’s better to walk away and just let those who will never understand you or who oppose you go sit and spin…

Oh, but how I love a good fight…I expect another one will turn up soon…that’s also a Jones thing…

Amarinda Jones
Penn Halligan
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book

Pukeable Monday

Don’t you just hate it when you wake up and realize its frigging Monday morning? Where the hell did the weekend go? I’m not a perky person at the best of times but Monday morning makes we want to puke. Why? Because I know there is another week trapped at work. And no, don’t give me that talk about ‘finding a job you love’ – it’s never going to happen. It’s crap. I believe I am at job 29 or 30 now and I reckon I have enough experience at different jobs to know that happiness is not for me when it comes to work. So you do what you have to do to get by don’t you.

So I asked authors Anny Cook and Kelly Kirch to come up with a blog challenge but they are too nice and sweet to get really mean and give me a hard challenge. How do I know these people again? These are the challenges they came up with…excuse me while I yawn…
- The history of rubber duckies and all its evolutions.
- history of sex in the romance novel... and should it still be called a romance if it has sex or should they ALL be called erotic.
- Five exciting things about Fort Wayne, Indiana

Yes, I do consider these women friends but they have no killer instinct. How disappointing. Rubber duckies? My opinion? They are rubber and yellow and they evolved in a yellow rubber duck factory. Next - sex in a romance novel…evolves in the writers mind and it can be both romantic and erotic and last time I checked sex was erotic…has it changed? It’s been a while. Fort Wayne…okay did you know that Fort Wayne and Amarinda are linked by 4 degrees of separation? No? How? Well…

1. The character of Frank Burns from Mash came from Fort Wayne
2. Mash was set in Korea
3. My father was in Korea with the Australian Army on peacekeeping
So Frank, Korea, my father and then me. And yes Fort Wayne tourism - I would love to see your city – bung me an invite and I’m there. See Kelly, it’s extra exciting just because of the link with me.

So, despite the fact I gave the Oh Get A Grip people a bloody good challenge, I have to give myself my own week long challenge – I’m calling it pissing me off by the alphabet…

Aardvark – no, I can’t say these creatures piss me off as they’re aren’t many of them running around oz…scrap this one

Anaesthetic – annoys me as I cannot say words with ‘th’ in them properly without great thought before hand – so this has instant piss off value

Ants – in particular green ants who sink their fangs into you and refuse to let go…little bastards

Apostrophes – forgetting to put the little buggers in a sentence

Audits – I never do anything right and I cut corners so audits are a pain as I have to think up extra special lies to cover my arse.

Baggy pants – the ones young blokes wear that are falling down and showing their undies – pull ‘em up - I don’t want to see ‘em.

Banks – that close at 4:30pm when working people are finishing or not finished work

Birthday snipers – people who go and do ‘surprise’ things on your birthday when you just want a quiet day. No, age is not at issue. It’s the falderal that only the birthday sniper enjoys.

Bongo drums – don’t play them around me as they annoy the crap out of me. I truly believe it requires only minimal natural rhythm to play any sort of drums and give people bongo drums and they are truly annoying. They go all Caribbean.

Cats – who scratch up my garden and kill the local wild life

Chauvinism – some men still don’t get that the world no longer revolves around them do they?

Ciao – pretentious people who say Ciao when they’re clearly not Italian and they are just doing it for effect. Stop it.

Clowns – evil little, smiling faced bastards who I know have an agenda

D, E and F tomorrow unless Anny and Kelly can come up with something worth being challenged over.

I ate a bag of chips for dinner…cripes it is Monday after all and it seemed wrong to cook. Besides I ate nothing else all day – bad Amarinda – so I figure the chip eating will even out somewhere…ah! Who am I kidding? They’re going straight to my thighs.

Marlow’s Curse Review….

I really enjoy good vampire stories, especially when they don’t follow a typical story line. Marlow’s Curse is a good story and defiantly has some unique aspects I’ve not seen in other vampire tales. Sybylla’s character is strong, intelligent, caring, and she will do anything to protect the man she loves including sending him away. The relationship between Sybylla and Marlow is sensual and sizzling when they are together and cold and clinical when they are apart. It is fun to watch them spar with each other. It was also fun to see Temperance and Asher again in this story, helping their friends. It would be great if there is another sequel with more of these interesting characters and their unusual lifestyles! If you are looking for a very sensual, yet unusual vampire tale, you will like this series.

http://manicreaders.com/index.cfm?disp=reviews&bookid=835

Remember to check out the good girls - Anny and Kelly - to see what is happening in their sunshiny worlds.

Never forgotten…RIP

www.freewebs.com/amarindajones/
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Monday frigging Monday....

There is a new blog out called Oh Get A Grip. Supposedly they are going to give an opinion. I haven’t seen it yet. I think they’re scared. They are a bunch of good girls who wanna be bad – so I have called them out and slapped them with the glove of challenge.

The Amarinda Blog challenges the Oh Get a Grip Blog to put their money where their mouth is and give an opinion. I want to know the 5 things that totally and utterly piss you off beyond all reason. No namby pamby responses will be accepted.

‘Just got an email from the ‘grippers’ and already they have put their own interpretation on this challenge. It is 5 things each not 1 thing each as they like to believe. I have explained this in depth to them – even pulled out the sock puppets to help them understand – so let’s see what other ways they can think of to get out of the challenge. To give you a clue grippers – this is what I mean….

5 Things that piss me off…

1. Pushing in front of me or others in a line – don’t do it unless you want to be embarrassed because I will embarrass you big time. I am the person that stands there and announces to all that ‘it’s not your turn and get back in line.’
2. Bad manners – if you cannot say please or thank you, prepare to meet thy doom. Example of this, I was forced to buy Tim Tams yesterday and this man was ahead of me at the checkout and he dropped his money on the ground. The check-out chick got down on her hands and knees to pick it up. She handed it to him and he did not say ‘thank you’ – he just ignored her. Not good enough. I pointed out what she had done for him and that he needed to thank her as she was not his slave. Yes, men can blush. Did he say thank you? Yes. I can be pretty scary clutching a pack of hormone soothing Tim Tams in one hand with the death stare going on…you either say sorry or gnaw your leg off to get away from me.
3. Men who believe all women should have a Paris Hilton -like body and consider anyone else a ‘dog.’ Well you know what? Real women don’t want men who think Paris Hilton in the essence female beauty. Real women don’t want boys…go ahead – play with Barbie or yourself – probably the only real action you’re going to get that you don’t have to pay for.
4. People who sniffle!! Use a handkerchief or tissue – I don’t want to hear you snorting up and re-circulating snot throughout your body – it’s pukeable and yes I will tell you.
5. Want to see me really stamp my feet? I hate and loathe surprises. The only good surprise is one that I know of in advance. I hate to be surprised – it pisses me off big time. Go surprise someone else is my theory…

Yes, how annoying I am and I could go on and on….

So….everyone appears to be in a frenzy to change their blog template at a moment. Is it a full moon or something? They all look very nice and creative but there seems to have been this sudden rush to change. Did a memo come out that I missed? Will I change my template and follow the trend – nope… that’s just not me. I like to dig my size 8 heels into the ground and be stubborn and buck the trend. I’m perverse and I like that about me. So what is it with blog land at the moment? Why the blog changes? Is it because everyone is doing it or is it some existential moment of your own realization as an individual amongst the faceless masses in blog existence? No really, I want to know.

Speaking of feet…were we? Yes, I mentioned size 8 heels…I got an email about my blog comments yesterday about what a drag it was to have a big bust. The email was from a friend, lets, call her…er…Melanie, who read my blog and said and I quote – ‘yeah, boo hoo, I feel so sorry for you.” Yes, sarcasm – I love it. She is flat chested and she is right – we whine about stuff that other people would kill for. So, I will not mention the big boob issue again. So what does this have to do with feet you ask? Well, nothing really other than I have flat feet (flat chest, flat feet – no it doesn’t have to make sense) and someone told me today that my feet were dainty – and no they did not appear to be drunk. And yes, they wanted something from me. I have to say complimenting my flat feet is a new one on me. Did they get what they wanted from me? No, but I awarded them a 9/10 for originality in sucking up. So what is the weirdest compliment you ever got?

Let’s all say a soothing prayer for my editor tonight as she edits my latest book. I swear she thinks I torture her. I really don’t…I just consider it playing with her mind….she has a brilliant mind…I’m trying to warp it. People are 'who' and not 'that' - see I do get it. Remembering it is the hard thing.

Do you remember Mervina the possum? No? She is a possum that hangs out at my place and looks really pissed off to see me when I come across her. Hey! I own the place you ball of fluff- don't be giving me attitude. Well, Mervina has taken to living under the house in my store room Okay, fine, whatever...you need your space I get it. What I don't frigging get is why Mervina delights in making noise at 2 am in the morning. She knocks stuff down under the house and it sounds like a herd of wild elephants have rampaged through. Now, fine have a night life - go out and rage with the other possums but for god sake shut up. I have been told to get a cage and trap her. I am against this because I think she is too smart to be caught and she will delight in driving me nuts. I also think that if she gets trapped and released in the bush she can no longer play with the native wild life because she is such an urban smart arse. So, what the hell am I to do with this wild child possum? Sandra Cox - author and animal lover - what's the answer?

Anny and Kelly are doing Anny and Kelly stuff – go check them out.

www.freewebs.com/amarindajones/
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?