Please...release me...

Last night I barely slept a wink. I was moaning, twisting restlessly in the sheets totally out of control, begging for release, needing so much and yet knowing I had no say in what was happening to me. I wasn’t in charge. I just had to submit and ride the crazy crest I was on until I could let go and find release. For a moment, I considered what the neighbours must be thinking. The bedroom window was open, a light breeze coming in through the sheer curtains, only party cooling the heat of the moment as I panted and moaned, twisting and promising anything and everything to my tormentor to let me calm down and drift off, sated, at peace. But it was not to be. Some are relentless. Some never let go until you’re a crying, whining wreck screaming at the universe in a moment of complete physical breakdown swearing on all that is holy that never again will I do 200 sit ups and be in this much pain.

Six pack stomach? Nah, just give me a bottle of champagne like any real woman.       

Just is...

So, another small publisher folded. I’m not surprised. Publishing, like any business, is just that. A business. Things happen – boom, bust, cash in, cash out, debtors, creditors, bad decisions, lousy decisions, best decision? Move on if you’re no good at business.

In my previous job, I worked with shit loads of debtors. There are those that have no clue what they’re doing and they get into trouble. There are those who are shonky dealers who don’t give a crap if they owe money because they have money and they’re not going to share it because if you were stupid enough to buy or invest from them then their theory is that’s your problem for being stupid. I’ve read many administrators letters, touchy feely lets all be one in this debt deed of company arrangements and I’ve sat in liquidators where the bottom line is ‘you’re getting stuff all.’

So, publishers going under? No big surprise. I believe – actually I know – the mistake new, small pubs make is by taking on multiple authors before they have worked out all the pitfalls and are ready to handle it with the time needed. Hence, Scarlet Harlot Publishing will only take on authors when I’m ready, satisfied and have the time. Otherwise, the Harlot’s doing very nicely thank you.

Your publisher gone under? Stop whining. Do two things. Assess whether the loss is worth hiring a lawyer. If it’s a couple of hundred dollars, I would write it off on taxes. But that’s me. I’m realistic. And two? Learn from it. Business - publishing – is not fair or pretty. Don't go into it being a sap.

Nailing jelly to a wall…

…been reminding myself a lot lately about the futility of nailing jelly to a wall. Some things and people are just too damn hard to pin down. It’s actually been a very good lesson for me…in a pukeably annoying way. I like to be in control. Always. Actually, I insist upon it. When I am thrust into personal situations when I’m not in control, I struggle not to fight for control…hence trying to do the whole acceptance thing about jelly, walls and nails. How’s that working out for me? Hmmm…I think some people are better at acceptance than others…

Do As I Say – check out my purty new cover – is about a woman who also has similar issues about control and lust and a man who thinks he’s the boss of her. He’s sort of a big, sexy meanie.

Released end of March...

www.amarindajones.com
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Be daring...read an Amarinda book

The art of avoidance…

In the book of life, the answers aren’t in the back -- Charlie Brown

I was dawdling back from doing the business banking today thinking about stuff. As I did I found myself concentrating on not standing on the cracks in the sidewalk. I did very well. I was so engrossed in it I nearly walked straight past the office. Why was I doing it? I think it was easier trying to concentrate on dumb stuff that doesn’t matter than hauling arse back to work and deal with other stuff…oh god no, not work stuff…life stuff.

Is it just me or do we go out of our way to complicate life? Why do we do it? Maybe it's to do with past history, past hurts. Maybe it's about being scared to let go and take a leap of faith. Maybe it's about knowing some things are so important that you don't want to screw them up so avoiding them is safer. Maybe it's about being used to relying on yourself and that to rely on someone else requires a surrender that makes you nervous. Maybe I'm just a wimp. Whatever it is I swear I will stop trying to skip to the last page of the book to suss out the ending nor will I try and control everything. I will just let things happen. It’s doable…I guess….I'll work on it.

www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?