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Showing posts with label heroine. Show all posts
Showing posts with label heroine. Show all posts

Sunday, 6 April 2014

Wow, a plot...


I was reading this book, part of a series, by a well known paperback writer and I was about four pages into it when I found out a character died.  Just like that. He's dead. I flicked back a couple of pages to make sure I hadn't missed anything and that pages weren't stuck together. I checked the series number of the book to make sure I hadn't skipped a book in between - but no, the character was dead. I avidly read on trying to work out what had happened, how the heroine was coping and wondering what she would do next now that this person had left her life. I liked that the heroine was pretty stoic, albeit heartbroken, about it and that she was getting on with her life wondering what she was supposed to do as I was wondering what she was going to do. 

To me, this is a good writer and a good book. Make me think. Make me wonder. Too few people write those books and when you find them, that's golden for a reader. It beats the hell out of shag the heroine for 99 pages with a plot on one page to suggest credibility.

Sunday, 16 February 2014

So, dear reader, the men were hugely well hung...




So, I’ve been trying to get through reading a series that started off really, really well with this kick arse, heroine Vampire Hunter. I really enjoyed the first 6 books. But now, with only just barely finishing number 12 in the series? All I can say is I don’t care how well endowed the multiple men she has sex with are. Really I don’t. I don’t care if it’s because they’re shape shifters or vampires that makes them so big. And actually, if I understand the heroine correctly who feels the need to discuss size, all the men are enormous and bound to make a woman faint with one glance at said meaty appendages. Did I mention all the men are written as well hung?  I don’t care the heroine appears to be screwing men with big dicks without any reason at all other than somewhere I think the books are trying, in a hazy way, to make out her taking on all well endowed comers is all about finding her authentic self or enhancing her powers or saving the world one supernatural penis after another or the author just decided to weaken the character dramatically by making her into a slut with chapter after chapter focused on penises. Don’t get me wrong. Sluts have their place in literature and penises are fun – well endowed or not. But when a strong, independent heroine becomes a trollop due to a hazy story premise spent discussing how well hung a man is and whether he ‘hurts’ or frightens the woman into an attack of the vapours inadvertently with this well hung-ness and I’m skimming pages to work out what the story was about and is this the same heroine as in Book 4, I say enough of her and the men and their HUGE appendages. I get it. They’re GIGANTIC. I get it. She’s been turned into a weak ninny. I get that and that sex sells. But holy hell enough already! Bring back the character and zip up those pants!  

Tuesday, 7 January 2014

All a little too Kumbaya...


I saw this picture on someone’s Facebook. Some women were drooling over this guy because he’s pretty and sensitive looking and undoubtedly could sing Kumbaya while he massages a woman’s shoulders as she pours out her woes about how no one but him understands her. All I could think was what a wimp and as ebook heroes go, any heroine would have to look after her own arse with him around. Yes, yes, yes – it’s not all about looks. He’s probably incredibly good at knitting - he's wearing a cardigan for god sake - or maypole dancing or quoting his own sensitive, soul like poetry as he makes potpourri and strums a harp. It also looks like that sensitive, new age, I-care-deeply looking head is photo-shopped on that body. And yes, that happens all the time with ebook covers to make women believe there are Kumbaya men out there.

I guess my main issue with him is that I feel the heroine could beat him up quite easily. He’d, of course, forgive her and maybe make something like chocolate muffins with smiley faces on them to make her feel happy and fulfilled with him being in her life.


Nup, as heroes go, I just can’t see Kumbaya Man cutting it.         

Saturday, 15 December 2012

Love...huh? What?



I always love those moments when the heroine realizes she loves the hero and she can’t do a damn thing about it because he can’t possibly love her....

Saturday, 23 June 2012

She’s pregnant? And by the way, there’s not enough sex…

Yes, I got a character pregnant in a story I just wrote. She had sex and got pregnant. Yes, I have heard pregnancy doesn’t sell. Yes, I wrote it anyway, Yes, I’ll publish it anyway.

What’s that you say? The bit about there’s not enough sex? If so how did she get pregnant? No, there’s no stork involved and no finding a baby in a cabbage patch. Story one is about pregnancy. Story two has an actual story with sex as opposed to sex with a vague plot while the heroine gets screwed by multiple men who are apparently protecting her with their massive, magical condom-less dicks that cannot get her pregnant.  In my story, the heroine has only one lover. That happens you know. Yes, it will apparently never sell. No, I can’t have her screwing all the male characters because she foolishly loves the hero. Yes, love is terrible when there’s not multiple men shagging her but I expect the hero prefers to be the only one. Yes, again, I did hear the bit about that not selling. Yeah, I prefer to be an individual. Yes, again, I know individualism doesn’t sell but I’m going to do it anyway. Watch this space. 

Wednesday, 4 January 2012

A shapeshifter, a vampire and a girl with a daddy fetish walk into a bar...

I’m usually not home when chats on author/reader loops are done as they’re done in Yankee time and that conflicts with Aussie time. In the past, I have managed to get to a few. To be absolutely honest, they’re usually a waste of time. Why? Well, a bunch of authors turn up and post excerpts of their books and other authors comment on how good the excerpt was and how they’d ‘love to read it’. Then it goes around in a circle until everyone has done the obligatory excerpt and murmured the loving it thing. No really, attend one and you’ll know what I mean. There are usual questions like ‘what is your favourite character in what book?’ ‘Do you have a muse?’ ‘A favourite story?’ or ‘are you wearing red socks, a pink pegnoir and a knitted beanie while sipping cinnamon flavoured tea?’ Ydah, ydah, ydah…

So I attended one today due to the fact I have a couple of days off over the Christmas break and that the author who was having the chat is one of the few authors I like, respect and admire. But oh lordy…it was hard work. It begs the question are these chats outdated? Do readers really care about what the author was feeling when she wrote the scene where the hero X, who is a wombat shape-shifter and older than the heroine which fits in with her Daddy fetish, shagged the stuffing out of Y, an overly beautiful virgin who dreams of being the toy of many boys before going into politics and/or being a rock star’s girlfriend, in a non tacky way while a pack of gay vampires watch on awaiting their turn with the shape shifting wombat all the time knowing they have to do it before daylight? Hmmm? I tend to write the author off as being on powerful medication or playing with her/himself. Unless you are a JK Rowing or the like you’re probably not going to draw many people to these chats to listen to you espouse your feelings on why wolf pack rape is acceptable if the heroine actually believes all 6 shape-shifting wolves really love her.

There’s got to be a better way than these tired-arsed chats…

Saturday, 3 October 2009

Happy for now…

‘Had a discussion, during the tension of month end accounting – yawn, boring, who gives a crap – about happily ever after. A friend emailed me after reading one of my books. She was like ‘do you actually believe in this happily ever after stuff you’re writing?’ Do I? No. I believe in happy for now and let’s see what happens later.

While you know the hero and heroine, or variations of, are going to get together in the end, I believe most readers know that if it was real life they’re going to get pissed off with each other and at some stage one of them is going to be sleeping on the sofa – not the heroine – because real women have enough smarts to make the male do it.

Let’s face it, no romance is all happy and all smooth. The day to day is hard bloody work let alone wondering about forever. The beauty of romance books is a glimpse inside someone else’s life. It’s about the struggle and the passion and the moment when two people realize that they cannot live without this other person in it. That’s why we read romance. That’s why we watch the Bachelor or the Bachelorette or romance movies. We want to read or see the moment when someone goes – ‘oh, duh, he/she is the one for me. I cannot let them go.’ Will they mess it up and make mistakes after ‘the end’? Oh hell yeah. We know that. But it’s the journey that they’ve taken that we’re interested in. What they do afterwards is up to them. It’s all about ‘happy for now.’

Click on below. This to me is the quintessential love song. Why? Listen to the lyrics. Two people not sure what the hell they are doing – yet eventually they are going to get together. Maybe it will take a while but they’ll get there. It’s about the reality of love. It’s not an easy. It’s a game. It’s about who surrenders to the inevitable first….gotta’ love that…




www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book

Saturday, 4 July 2009

What a girl wants…


So, I'm writing another paranormal. I jump from them to contemporary a lot. I have no real genre that I write it. It's a mood thing. Anyway, I am writing about a heroine who learned a hard lesson in love - she found out the one she loved never really gave a rat's arse about her. At least that’s how she feels. And frankly, in my books, who cares what he – let’s call him the ‘toe rag’ - thinks. He's a rat in the world of romance. Any man who upsets the heroine - makes her cry, makes her regret things she did or said or even for one second makes her pine for him - then he is a nitwit that is not worth her time or effort and he will be run down as an insensitive, inadequate lover - and fair enough. He is a toe rag. Nup – I don’t have to justify any of that. It’s my book. Mess with the heroine and you’re fair game.

Of course her run in with said toe rag makes it hard for the true hero. He wanders in all hero-like, sexy and sweet and he gets all this attitude from our girl. She's like 'talk to the hand' and 'back off Betty' when he tries to make a move on her. The last thing she wants is another man making her life miserable. I mean – come on – why even bother? I think its hard work being a hero sometimes. They have to deal with a lot of baggage. But then, so does the heroine. She actually believed, for one, mad moment she loved the toe rag and then she finds out that her judgement was shot to hell. In fact maybe she had no judgement at all and it was all hormones that had her so emotionally caught up in the toe rag. Maybe chocolate could have given her the same rush. Maybe she could have had a really good relationship with a vibrator – who knows?

So when the hero comes along…why would she would to fall at his feet? She's toughened by experience and there is no way she is about to drop her shields to be hurt again. Yes, how exhausting. But the thing is the hero - being the hero - is ready to deal with all the drama and the anger because he's not stupid. The toe rag may have had issues with the heroine's weight or looks or whatever - maybe she just had more balls than the toe rag - that's usually the case - but the hero sees only one thing - the woman he knows, with every beat of his heart, is the one for him. He prepared to wait, to be patient. He loves her even if she is too damn dumb to see it.

She in turn is thinking 'holy crap, I'm falling for him. I must stop this now.' So naturally she fights it, throwing up every possible barrier she can find. Sure, maybe she can have sex because she tells herself that's just lust but suddenly every touch of his hand or his lips makes her feel so amazing that she can’t remember why the hell she was fighting him and maybe, just maybe he is the one. But how do you know if he is? Well - just do. No, really I believe that’s the case. We’ve all fallen for a dipstick but you know when ‘the one’ comes along. A lot of dipstick men have to cross your path before you go ‘oh – I want way more than you, dickhead.’
See how angst ridden romance writing is? You put you own life and experiences in it. If you hate men at any moment when you are writing, you have to try really, really, really hard not to kill the hero. That’s bad in romance writing. Rule number one. Try to keep the hero alive no matter what crap is going on in your own life. Dead hero = bad.

Lordy…writing can be a hard business. Do I believe in love? Yes. There is someone for everyone and he/she may take years to wander into your life. If you are still waiting – hold on. If a toe rag has broken your heart – then know that you are worth more and the hero will show up. My tip? Try not to kill him…driving him crazy is perfectly acceptable though.

www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book