Timely reminders…

When I got home from work I found a letter from the Breast Screen Queensland reminding me I had to go again once more to have my boobs squashed flat. For a split second I was ready to go into whining mode at the thought of a mammogram but then I stopped. Last time it had been a production. I had lumps and I had to have all these additional tests and have strangers prod and poke my boobs - but I also remember the one young lady who sat and cried after her test. My test was okay but I’ll never forget the devastation on her face. Yeah, mammograms are a pain in the arse – well, the boobs – but what is a moment of pain when it comes to your health?

If you have never had a mammogram – go – get it done. Don’t mess with your health. Take care of it.

www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book

A whole lot of nothing....

I am exhausted. I was up all night writing lines on a blackboard with chalk –

People are not that - but who

I will not split infinitives

I wrote them over and over. What? I have been doing edits. Yes, I have driven my editor to drink and chocolate over them, once more. In my defence, I would again like to point out that it’s all Captain James T Kirk's, from Star Trek, fault. I loved the original series when I was a kid. I grew up on “To boldly go where no man has gone before.” So it’s his fault that I split infinitives. The who/that thing is my own and I will get it tattooed on my forehead to remind me. Once again – apologies to my editor…I hope you dry out soon. Writers may write the words but Editors make them legible….then the cover artists give us a hot cover and the publisher does the rest and we just sit and try and look like we know what we’re doing…it’s all smoke and mirrors being a writer.

I sent an email at work today – a work one about work stuff. This is unusual for me as I tend to use work email for personal stuff. But there is it – proof I do work at work when I have to. Anyway I wrote the line “please see ass attached.” Email back was “what ass and where?” Now I am blaming this on the fact that I have to write in American spelling for my books. Okay, it’s a crap excuse but there it is. I emailed the recipient back and said ‘unable to provide ass at this time.” She emailed back and asked for a raincheck and I agreed.

Also at work...I have been in chuck out mode. I am extremely ruthless when to comes to culling stuff that does not belong to me. I also believe paper records that are 10 years old and have stuff all to do with anything must go. I am like the Terminator at the moment. Ethel is similar but she throws anything and everything out because she does not like to file. Any office she works in will not have files when she works there. Why? She shreds them. Why? She does not want to break her nails – I kid you not. She is also very good at looking vague when someone asks her where the files are…'what files?’

It was freezing in Brizzie this morning. Okay, maybe not freezing cold as you would know it but bloody cold and we all whined about it. We are very lucky. Our sub-tropical climate is exceptionally good and remains pretty fine all year round. But every time winter approaches and it gets the slightest bit nippy – we whine and put on 5 layers of clothes. It’s not like we’re not aware that it’s autumn – it’s more that we refuse to believe it. Brisbane is in the Sunshine state – in Queensland. We banana benders expect sun and sun means warmth.

Speaking of luck - I am incredibly lucky. I had my ultra sound thingy today and the lumps were just cysts. Whew. I must say though that I have never had so many people wanting to look at my breasts – and not for reasons of passion. One of the doctors said in an annoyed tone, “Hmm, you have a large amount of breast tissue.” He looked quite cross about it. I said something along the lines of “terribly sorry and how inconvenient for you.” Another said, in a vague tone – while I was topless - ‘And what do we have here?’ I burst out laughing. What do you think these are mate? And if you have to ask you ain’t touching me. Anyway, I am okay – but many are not and we need to remember that. Once more – I urge anyone who has not had a mammogram and is putting it off to go and do it. It could save your life. On the way out I donated money to the Cancer fund. I just want to believe that even a small amount may help someone somewhere. My mother died of cancer. I want to believe we will cure it one day. Think about donating to a cause you believe in – even a small amount helps. There but for the grace of fate go I…

I have made a list for when I go grocery shopping next. This is big for me. I never write a list as I choose to believe I have this fabulous ability to remember what I have run out of at home. I don’t. I usually end up buying stuff I already have – like last week – and I’ll eat the same thing – tuna - over and over again to use it up. This is okay with me as I live alone and can do what I like. I expect if I was living with someone they would be a tad pissed at tuna every night. But then again, I would have them trained to accept my way or else. I am a simple creature. My word is law at Chez Amarinda…I am a bit of over tuna though.

Well, that’s it – nothing happening of any note in my life but I have managed to waffle on about the amazingness of nothingess once more. Check out the blogs to the left. There are many talented people with stuff to say – like Anny and Kelly.

A quick peak at what I was editing last night – Penned Again…coming soon from Ellora’s Cave…adult excerpt
It was such a long time since Arlo Ripley had felt the closeness of another’s skin again hers. She curled against the warm, male body and gave herself up to the dream she was having. Her hand touched the hard, hair roughened chest and luxuriant heat radiated through her arm and down her body. It was heaven to touch him once more. She had missed him so much. Him? Penn? Her eyes snapped open in shock.
“You!” Arlo jerked her hand away as she looked at the naked man in her bed. There was just enough light to see the deep green eyes of Pendleton Ripley. He had not changed one whit. Same dark, wavy hair, kissable mouth and a body to collapse against in need and hunger. And he was naked. Whoa! Too many memories there. She rolled away as fast and as far away as she could.
“Hi honey, I’m home,” Penn murmured as he reached out and pulled his wife back against him.
“Holy fucking hell, what are you doing here?” Arlo struggled to break free from his hold. To do that, she had to touch him and he felt so good to her Penn-starved senses. Six months without touching him had been torture.
“I came to see you.”
“Oh piss off.” She slapped his chest in derision. Remember you hate him and he is a lying swine. Okay I can do this.
Penn’s finger gently traced the curve of her lips.
“I missed you, my beloved.”
Oh crap. Penn was using “beloved” in that deep, husky voice he knew turned her on. Arlo closed her legs together tightly. He is back for a reason and that reason may not suit you. Be strong and don’t get sucked in again.
Arlo Ripley had endured six of the most horrible months of her life. It was like she was on a continual mood swing and it was all because of her husband—the demon. I married a demon. It still seemed bizarre to her. It was more like something out of a 1950s schlock black and white movie. But it had happened and it still irritated her no end that Penn had not told her the truth. Honesty was as important as love to Arlo. That he did not tell her everything smacked at her self-esteem. During their separation she had railed against him, the unfairness of it all and wondered if love was really worth the hassle. Sure, she was lonely without Penn but at least she knew where she stood.
“What do you want?” Though his cock pressing against her thigh was a very good indication of where his mind was at. It was so long since she’d had sex. The feel of that life force pushing against her made her remember the last, delicious time she had touched and tasted him. She still remembered the feeling of her eyes rolling into the back of her head as she came. Then Penn had gone and broken her heart. Bastard. Well not again.
“I’m naked, you’re naked—what do you think I want?” Penn smiled at her knowingly.
I think I really need you now and I hate myself for being so weak.
“I think you’ve run out of clean clothes and want me to do your washing.” Arlo always slept naked. She liked the sensual feel of the fine cotton sheets on her skin. However at that moment she wished she had on a granny nightdress as her bare skin so close to his was like holding a lit match to paper. Penn could make her hot with just one look and he looked mighty good to her famished senses. She ran her eyes over the length of his lean, strong body, stopping at the black, elaborate phoenix tattoo on his lower stomach. It had always turned her on. Her mouth watered. He still had the ability to take her breath away.

www.freewebs.com/amarindajones/
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Thursday Thoughts...

Swift of Heart Review

What's a girl to do when her ex shows up on her doorstep after mysteriously disappearing without a word? If you're Stephanie Hart, you slam the door in his face -- repeatedly. Davies has created a funny, feisty and very likable character. She's a breath of fresh air, and Davies is an author to keep an eye on.

http://www.romantictimes.com/books_review.php?book=34942

I got a letter today from the child I sponsor in Bangladesh. These letters usually come when I need a reality check. They pull me into line and make me realize how bloody lucky I am. I can pretty much have and do what I want in life – sure there are limitations but if road A does not work out then I can go down road B or meander over to C. M in Bangladesh has limited options but she is working her guts out to make a future for herself despite the obstacles that stand in her path. Here is a young woman who is almost 15 and she knows what she wants and is studying hard to get it. High school bored the socks off me. I always think of the Simon and Garfunkel
lyrics when I think of high school – “When I think back on all the crap I heard at high school it’s a wonder I can think at all.” But here is M soaking up every moment of study. She is even good at math and science which I sucked at. I admire the tenacity of this young woman. She lives in a country that is the third world. Options are limited for women. Marriage is expected of females. Many of them marry very young. M wants to be a school teacher or a nurse. I hope like hell she makes it. Reality check taken and attitude adjusted. Oh, I’m still a pain in the arse but it is reinforced to me once more how lucky I am.

Funny…today I was doing this inanely boring task – yes correct – work and boredom are one and the same to me. And yes, I am a bad employee. I expect in another life I will pay for it - maybe I’ll be a CEO in my next life and have to deal with an annoying employee like myself. Anyway, as I was doing this job, I happened to be standing in this small room that had the control panel for the air conditioning. Women kept coming in and out on a regular basis to turn it up then down. They got pissed off when they discovered someone had changed the temperature to how they had it set. Interestingly the younger contingent had the air con on hot and the older wanted it cold - hot flush territory I guess. But basically the thing that amused me most is that no one gave a rat’s arse about anyone but themselves and their own comfort. Don’t get me wrong – comfort is everything to me but it’s not realistic to think that others in an office will not get pissed off if you demand something that does not suit them.Team work – you got to love it.

So I bought a new clock a couple of days ago. Every night since I have woken up to this eerie green glow. Is it UFOs? A ghost? No it the frigging clock. It’s freaking me out man.

Mammogram…had one today….I have to go back for an ultra sound/ needle biopsy next week. I have problem breasts. Well of course I told the nurse. I don’t want just any normal, average thing. I want to be unusual. Anyway, it’s apparently it’s just a precaution. Okay - precautions are good. Why do I mention this? No, not for pity or anything like that - pity sucks. I mention it because if you have not had a mammogram recently or you are putting it off – go and bloody do it and let it be a precaution rather than a full blown emergency. Bonus is I get 2 hours off work to have it done…excellent. Time off work is always good. Am I worried ? Nope – because whatever happens…happens.

Anzac day tomorrow – I plan to get up and go to the dawn remembrance ceremony. What is Anzac day? It’s a day of great meaning to Aussies. I’ll have more on it tomorrow. If you are at the Lutwyche Cemetery at the war graves tomorrow at dawn and you see a cold, bedraggled woman barely coherent – that will be me – come say hello. I will try and form words but I cannot promise anything

Anny and Kelly are no doubt doing fascinating things – go be fascinated by them

www.freewebs.com/amarindajones/Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Not dead....just floating....

On feral library computer...ISP company sucks...still off line but hopefully tomorrow, all things being equal I will be back up...what an embuggerance.

What Defines a Woman?

Author Chris Power swung by to share some thoughts with us today…

What Defines a Woman?

Is it our bodies? Our hormones? What goes on between our ears or between our legs? Or a nicely balanced mix of all of it, plus that little bit of something indefinable?

I ask, because something Kelly Kirch blogged about today reminded me of some thing that happened to me some years ago.

I had to go for a biopsy on my right breast because a mammogram showed an anomaly. My friends and family rallied round the way they do when something that might be dire hovers on the horizon. But after the initial heart-stopping scare, I wasn't bothered. I knew I didn't have cancer. I quite clearly heard this voice in my head telling me so. Not, "I don't have cancer," but, "You don't have cancer."

"Okay," I thought back. "Thanks for letting me know."

"How do you stay so calm," one of my friends said. "I couldn't take it if I were you, the thought of maybe losing a breast is horrifying, I wouldn't feel like a proper woman any more and my hubbie won't find me attractive."
So I smiled sweetly and told her about my voice. Inside I was angry. But I couldn't show it because a while ago my friend had an accident that left a large hollow scar on the outer side of her thigh that she felt was disfiguring. So much so she could no longer be naked in front of her husband with the lights on. I tried to point out as delicately as I could that I was not defined by my boobs, nor was I any less a woman because I'd had a hysterectomy a few years previously [one of the best decisions of my life, but that's another story], but my friend wouldn't listen. She is also dreading the menopause for the same reason, because she believes a useless womb is the same as having one removed--she won't be a proper woman and she will no longer be attractive. It isn't vanity on her part. She is tall, lovely, with long straight naturally blonde hair, she's intelligent, has a high-powered job and her husband adores her. Yet in spite of that--or maybe because of it--she seems massively insecure.

Nor was she the only one of my female friends who said something similar, both then and earlier when I opted for the hysterectomy. Virtually all of them expressed the same opinion, with varying degrees of pity for the situation I might find myself facing. I was very much in the minority.

"I'm Me," I told them over and over, "and I'm a woman." But I couldn't get through to them that 'Me' is defined by what goes on inside my head, regardless of whether I have a functioning womb or not, both breasts or no breasts.

Much as I love and appreciate men, my life does not revolve around their approval or otherwise of the way I look. After all, no woman is put on this earth just to be a decoration on the arm of a man and to bear his children. Having said that, I'm no Helen of Troy. Maybe if I was as lovely as my friend I might think differently. But I very much doubt it.

As an end-note, the anomaly turned out to be tiny grains of calcium in my breast tissue that may or may not have turned malignant over time. As it was, the Doc at the Cancer Clinic took them out with the biopsy probe and I've had no more anomalies since.

One man’s opinion…game soul that he is…

I read somewhere that 95% of women are dissatisfied with their bodies in some way. This would be all well and good if you kept your neurosis to yourself, but unfortunately, it creeps over into our territory with comments like “I can’t stand for you to see me naked” no matter how much we reassure that the sight of you really is enticing and wonderful. Yes we like the female form – that said, one of the most attractive features on a woman is when she is confident with the body she has - with or without a breast or womb. Confidence covers a tremendous amount of blemishes and flaws (which we probably didn’t notice in the first place until you pointed them out).

Daren Martin, PhD

Amarinda opinion…

I applaud Chris’ words. No woman is a pair of breasts or a set of ovaries. What I think defines a woman is the indomitable spirit to nurture, to survive and to endure the crap she is faced with. It’s her hormones, her wit and her words – and the obvious fact she doesn’t have a penis and she can multi-skill. As for Dr Daren’s words, thank you and well said Doc – but I have to disagree on one point- no woman is ever going to be happy with their body and I don’t believe it’s a bad thing to be brave enough to admit your fears. I also think the odd neurosis keeps us human – and hell, why not share them with those that want to love you?

Got an opinion or a story you want to share on this subject? Feel free to comment. Also if you are due to have a mammogram – make sure you bloody have one. Breast cancer caught early is curable.

Want to know more about Chris Power and her great books? Check out http://chrisvpower.spaces.live.com/ and http://www.thepowerfamily.demon.co.uk/chris/index.htm
Want to know more about Dr Daren and what he does? Check out www.DarenMartin.com

Tribute Trail by Terri Beckett and Chris Power - coming 27th March from Cerridwen Press

Trained all his life to serve the will of the Great Goddess, Kherin is her Chosen, her warrior, mage and priest. The prophecy at his birth told of great things. Betrayed by one he trusted, given to be a slave to a barbarian lord, when he learns his goddess’s purpose, he finds it hard to obey.

Rythian, having challenged for the leadership of his tribe and won, is forced to put the future of his people before Syth his beloved wife, and extended family, refuses to let his sacrifice be for nothing. With enemies on the borders of his land threatening invasion and enemies within the tribe working against him, Rythian has no time for the whims of deities. He fights his god’s intent every step of the way.

Two very different men, both warriors, both chosen by the gods and brought together to be forged in the fires of betrayal and conflict.
Aided by family and friends, they must learn trust and friendship so they can combat their enemies and become weapons for their gods to wield.

Dark Waters by Chris Quinton released 28th March from Ellora's Cave

Flein is a wanderer by instinct and need, roaming the known world as the fancy takes him.

In the Highland village of Glenfinnan, women have been raped and brutally murdered. The killer is a waterhorse, a monstrous shapeshifter by all accounts. But when Flein meets Donnchadh, first in its equine form, then its man-shape, he knows the waterhorse is innocent.

As they hunt for the real murderer, Flein reluctantly becomes more and more drawn to the handsome shapeshifter. Donnchadh, though wary, shares the same attraction.

But time is against them. They must find the killer before more women die, but then suspicion is turned on them and the hunters have become the hunted.

I will be back to waffle on about the amazingness of nothingness tomorrow. Until then please refer to www.annycook.blogspot.com and www.kkirch.blogspot.com to see what they are plotting.

www.freewebs.com/amarindajones/
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?