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Scorpio… “'I no naka no kawazu taikai wo shirazu'. Or so they say in Japan. Roughly translated it means, 'A frog who lives in a well doesn't know about the ocean.' You are not a frog in a well. Or at least, not with regard to your current situation! You have seen the sea. You know what is possible. You are now being advised to steer clear of the ocean by someone who does not share your breadth of experience. Be grateful for the kind spirit behind this advice but don't let it stop you from exploring wider horizons.
http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/horoscopes
Yes, well…like life isn’t confusing enough…now I have to deal with frogs and wells and stuff. Where have the normal horoscopes gone? Win money. Find love. Lose weight. That’s what I want to read…now I’m going to have to spend all day today looking out for frogs…
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book
There’s this ad on Brisbane radio that is so sexist and perpetuating the belief that women should try and make themselves attractive to the opposite sex that I wonder who the dickheads are who write this drivel. It’s for an all-female gym. No, not my gym – there’s boys there. And yes, I understand that some women feel more comfortable working out with only women. Now you would think an advert for an all female gym would be about empowerment – to encourage women to get healthy. Oh no. This ad is two dumb arsed men talking about women being foxes and how they like to hunt the ones with ‘great tail.’ Then some inane voice over woman gets all girly and tells women to get the man they want she has to get into shape and be a ‘fox.’ Bollocks.
When the fuck are we going to grow up? Some people are never going to be the ‘perfect’ shape yet you know what? They fall in love and people love them back. You hear the media talking about anorexia and young girls and how ‘it must be stopped.’ Well, it’s pretty simple. A person is not only their body. Their mind, their heart and their soul are what makes people attractive. The best body in the world doesn’t house the greatest heart. When are we ever going to learn? And, more importantly when are women – like this female gym – going to say enough is enough – "come in because you want to feel better and get healthier and if you arse is sagging so what?" If any man cannot see past that then I say that man is not worth the effort.
Great tail? Bollocks. Any man who uses the phrase about a woman is a horse's arse.
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book
…when you least expect it don’t it? I was at work early this morning – way too early to actually start working but enough time to read through the fine print of my latest book contract – my alter ego Penn Halligan is going quite nicely thank you – when my phone rang. Like who would think I would answer that early? Anyway, it was Maverick. I enjoy hearing from him. He’s funny, sweet, quite aggravating and bordering on odd at times – but don’t tell him I said so. Anyway he told me something that made my spirits hit the floor. Something that I had been looking forward to was not going to happen. I was stoic in that well-for-fuck-sake-thank-you-very-much-life-for-screwing-with-me way.
At the end of the call, I resolved to pull up my big girl panties and deal with it. Hell, it’s not like I haven’t been disappointed before. So, I swore some, contemplated getting a third cup of coffee and tried valiantly to talk myself out of denying every request made to me that day. You want X? No. Y? Piss off. Z? You have to be kidding me. You know – rational stuff like that designed to make me feel better. Anyway ten minutes later Maverick rings back and tells me his latest plan and I want to kiss him. It’s perfect.
Life – it’s all swings and roundabouts ain’t it?
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book
I was standing in the butcher shop, looking like a drowned rat after swimming, and the butcher was all flirty and calling me ‘darlin’. Weirdly enough if any other man, who I didn’t know, called me ‘darlin’ I would have considered him a patronizing sod. Hmmm…interesting double standard. So what’s that about? Is it because someone who flirts with you over skinless chicken breasts is more acceptable than say a man at work calling you ‘darlin’? Are their different types of flirting that are more appealing? Does workplace familiarity breed contempt? Or is it the lure of a man in a spotless white uniform, a navy striped apron and surrounded by firm hunks of meat is appealing? I will ponder some on it….
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book
At the local pool, I like to swim breaststroke keeping my head out of the water - as I’m an incurable sticky-beak – and watch people and wonder. There’s lots of interesting things to see at the pool. People who act like they are Olympic swimmers, women who flaunt their perfect bodies to us less perfect but much smarter ones, the breed of people who wear swimming goggles in and out of the water and who look like giant bugs, the swim coach who yells at the kids to keep their ‘legs straight’ or he'll make ‘em do sit ups (wanker) and then there are budgie smugglers. I’m quite fascinated at the amount of men who wear budgie smugglers – Speedos – it amazes me. The thing is they’re scary. All that – manhood - love muscle as some flowery individuals like to call it - or cock and balls as we less flowery types would say - contained in one brief piece of lyrca. I find it mind boggling. I can’t see how that bit of fabric can support a penis and the accompanying equipment. Think of a bra – it keeps boobs from bouncing around and taking out an eye. It supports and controls. I don’t want to see a penis out of control at the pool. What was Mr Speedo thinking when he came up with the budgie smuggler? It gives me much pause for thought as I analyze, purely for scientific purposes, the men who walk by wearing them. One size does not really fit all in this case.
When I’m not contemplating Mr Speedo’s folly, I am swimming and thinking things like can a vampire go swimming? Is chlorine a natural aphrodisiac? Is it possible to have sex coming down the water slide? Should I try and beat the clock and swim really hard and fast or maybe just do several underwater handstands? It’s quite exhausting being me.
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book
I was going to write a blog about a bunch of useless wankers who could not organize a piss up in the brewery or a root in a brothel but the thing is with useless wankers is that they will always be with us – in our face, pissing us off and generally screwing people over by their sheer and utter ineptitude so why bother with them. I have faith karma will kick them in the arse.
So, instead, I bring you my latest cover - Pushing Fate. It’s due out soon with Liquid Silver books. I love it. Once again the cover gods – and in this case a cover goodness. Thanks mate.
*Piss up = getting drunk
*Root = in this case, means intercourse
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book
What is it with men that they think nothing of wandering around the house or wherever naked? Is it a built in self confidence that they don’t give a rat’s arse who sees their arse? Do they like showing off? Or are they so at home in their bodies that they think nothing of dropping their kit? It quite fascinates me…the concept of course…I’m too much of a lady to look at a naked man…no really
Most women I know are very self confident but they all agree on one thing – the whole naked thing requires some thought. Why? I reckon several reasons. One, we grow up being told to be ladies, cross our legs, cover up and the classic – and I’m not sure if anyone still says this now – ‘he won’t buy the cow if you give the milk away for free.’ As a child, I could never understand the cow analogy. Why do people tell kids dumb things like that? Why don’t say – “fine – have sex – be careful – be safe but don’t expect the best orgasm of your life will lead to marriage because one day you’ll realize marriage is not the be all and end all and sex is fun and marriage isn’t."
Anyway – back to naked – women are more selective I believe. We want and deserve more. We’re not just going to let any Tom, Dick or Harry – particularly Dick take us. If he wants us naked – he has to work for it. Added to that, maybe, possibly, we have a few thousand body issues but I say the most fascinating people are the ones with hang ups. What are we without our quirks?
And yes – I’ll take you up on your $2 offer but it’s not reciprocal – I’ll do something else….
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book
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