Pretty simple...

I went for a beach walk at Yorkey’s Knob, Far North Queensland, after my morning run. Yorkey’s is about 10 – 15 minutes from where I live. I was walking along, in my sweaty running clothes thinking how nice the morning was, how simple, beautiful and uncommercialized the stretch of beach is and how peaceful I felt at that moment walking in the water and scrunching my toes in the sand that dissolved beneath my feet with each rush of waves in and out. Simple. Easy. Peaceful.

This year, for me, has been pretty tough for many reasons but I have endured because to do anything but would go against my nature. Walking along the beach reinforced that whatever I do is okay and it’s what I’m supposed to do. Whatever I think is right, will be right and the battles I fight are justified because fighting for another’s honour is important even if I lose everything defending it. And in the end? I know the hope for a simpler life, without all the crap of this year, is obtainable and it’s just a matter of keeping faith in myself. It’s pretty simple really. Endurance + determination = self belief.

Beach walking -  good for the soul.   

Rate it, write it, trash it….

A thousand years ago when I first stared writing I had no idea what I was doing. I figured I’d put something out there and see what happened. The first story was called Rose Perfect and it had no sex at all in it. One well known publishing company at that time, who has since gone under, said it would never sell and give up. The words ‘Give up’ to me are a challenge. I sold it to Cerridwen Press, the now defunct arm of Ellora’s Cave. As I got more confident as a writer I started to write for EC. Big money could be made there. At that time there was a rating system when it came to sex at EC. I can’t remember what it was exactly but it basically ran along the lines of hot romance stories were sensual and no plot, anal sex/ménage/ MM stories were extreme and that’s where you made the big money. So people wrote to get the hotter rating and the bigger sales. Writers on writer’s loops agonized over whether they could write anal sex to make more sales. No really. It’s true. Then EC got rid of the rating system and that’s when I think it all went down hill and got sluttish in eBook land How so? Well, at that stage Ellora’s Cave was the premier place to write at. To get a contract there was huge. Now? It’s no better then anyone else. No, I’m not bashing EC. They’ve about done bashed themselves to death over issues of payments and loyalty. But that’s another story. The point is ratings divide writers and talents – and no talents. Five flames? I want that rating. I only get 4? Are you kidding me? Did you read what he did to the heroine in chapter 3 with the coffee cup, a pen, a hair clip and three candy bars all while riding a horse? That was 5 flames baby.

Why am I bringing all this up? For the last couple of days I have been solidly writing. It’s a romance story with a plot and some sex. Yes. Bizarre. Will it sell? I have no idea but I’ll put it out there and see what happens. But in writing this story it reminded me why writers are supposed to write. It’s not because we all want to jump on whatever bandwagon is hot at the moment. For god sake isn’t every single bloody ménage ebook the exact same? Its fifteen thousand words of in-out, three up two down, Baby oh baby I love you and you and you – please save me from the evil-doer then please shag what little brains I have left out. All of you. Harder. Faster. Now. Yes, bring the horse along too. And we’ll all live happily ever after. It’s like the seven dwarfs discover Snow White’s a girl with whorish tendencies. Yes, yes by all means email me if that upsets you as a writer.

There are writers who specifically write no plot ménage because they know it sells. And it does. So what does that say about us as writers and readers? The hotter the perceived rating is or best selling genre may be we’ll sell our soul to write it? Is that a good thing? Do we write from our soul or for the money? Do we have any respect for readers? As for readers - are we so blinded by the need to read sex that we no longer realize there’s no plot? Do we have any soul left at all? Do we know what real romance is?

I dunno…it certainly has me thinking that things are about come full circle…

Be who you have to be...

My mother used to always say ‘you’re a long time dead’ – what she meant by that was if you feel strongly, deeply, passionately that you have to do something like follow a dream or break out and do something that no one else agrees with or approves of, then just do it. In the end you have to be true to yourself.

I had a phone call this morning from a dear friend. What he said stuck in my mind all day. What if someone else says you’re selfish in your dreams or your needs? What do you do when you know in your soul that you have to follow your heart despite how it will upset another? Yeah, we all have to get on and co-exist but I have to wonder if another person is so against what you need to do then I have to question do they really get you as a person?

When you think about it every single one of us is unique. There is no one like you or like I. Other people can understand each of us up to a point. Our lives as individuals are bound by what is important to us. Can we really ask another to forgo their needs or dreams to fit into what we want? Is it really being selfish to be yourself and make yourself happy, maybe for just for a short time, in a world where daily we all have to deal with so much crapaciousness? Can it hurt to reach out and grab one thing that will make us smile or feel better about ourselves so we can then move on in the mundane minutiae of our lives? I think not.

You have to be who you are. I may not understand you and you probably won’t understand me but is it going to hurt either of us if what I want is not what you want to do?

You’re a long time dead – yeah, I agree. Grab the brass ring now. What are you saving yourself for?

(Picture is a sunrise at Port Douglas. My happy place)

Amarinda Jones
Penn Halligan
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book