Tuesday, 10 December 2013
So, I attended part two of this psyche test for this job I applied for. It’s been a bloody long process. Part 2 was about going over some questions I answered in part one. Two of my responses to questions confused them. There were questions (330 in all) that you have to answer false, partly truly, slightly true, true. You know the drill. Those two questions were -
Question one – Do you often get unwanted advertising (junk mail).
I answered false. This confused them because the standard response was true. Why did I not fall in line with 98% of the population? Because, I told them, I have a ‘no junk mail’ sticker on my mailbox. Ipso facto I get no junk mail. This surprised them as they had not thought of this variable. I would have thought they had and I also wondered why a question on junk mail is so important anyway. It doesn’t tell you anything on life or people. Good to know I’m not like 98% of people.
Questions two – “You answered that it is slightly true that you will do what people require of you.” Apparently this is a true or false answer only. I pointed out to them in personal life I do whatever I want and rarely do what anyone tells me to unless it makes sense. I added, that in a work situation following a justifiable protocol I will follow it. Now, this surprised them as you are either one or the other. Again, I explained I was not part of any 98% and probably will never be.
After writing copious notes on what I said and I was ‘not to worry about them’- I wasn’t - they asked what questions did I find odd in the 330 question test. I said the one about jumping out of an airplane while doing archery. How so they asked? How so I wondered? I pointed out as far as I know it’s not the norm to shoot an arrow while free falling. I added this question could only make you look odd if you answered yes because then please explain how often you do the plane and arrow thing or is it only while on drugs? And, if you had never done it then does this mean you’re not prepared to face challenges and danger in life indicating you’re a wuss. Many, many notes were written down then.
In the end, I explained, quoting Popeye, ‘I am who I am’ and essentially I’m a take or leave me proposition. I am feel I left the psychologist a little wiser, possibly needing to have an aspirin and lie down. I do what I can in life…
Monday, 9 December 2013
So, I saw this picture of some really nifty socks. I like socks, particularly ankle socks. I wear them with my Mary Janes. No, I’ll probably never grow up but that’s okay with me. Anyway, I liked the socks and clicked on a tab that said ‘see other suggestions’. I will. I did. A bunch of other socks came up and then what the? How did we go from ankle socks to looking like a hooker in latex tights? They would look terrible with Mary Janes. And who the hell wears latex anyway? And in the tropics? Massive thigh sweat. In the cold? I could see that latex adhering to frozen thighs and having to be blow torched off. Uses for rubberized leggings? Other than maybe if your tyre blows and you have no spare and you rip a legging off and wrap it around the tyre. Other than that, I can’t see them as useful at all. Is this some weird arsed male fantasy ‘cause I seriously cannot see any sane woman wearing them. It just ruined my sock watching…
Sunday, 8 December 2013
I was doing my normal Sunday morning swim, at the lagoon on the Cairns Esplanade, when this Chinese bridal couple and their photographer came along. It was early morning and they would have been getting some photos done before the general wedding chaos of the day began. I tread water, not wanting to photo bomb the all important pictures, and watched the couple. He was in this silver grey 19th century type frock coat and he had such a proud, happy look on his face when he looked at his bride. She, in turn, looked quite lovely yet nervous in a strapless gown with a long train that she and the photographer worried a great deal about. When the bride and groom looked at each other with such blatant love in their eyes I thought to myself, yeah, this is what people want to believe in and why despite every setback, failure and facing the odds and still daring to try, that as humans we still believe in love and soul mates and not giving up on finding ‘the one.’ That's nice.
"He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect for more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you" ~ Bob Marley
Friday, 6 December 2013
So, at work, a mechanic type person got a metal splinter in his hand. It was all very dramatic and apparently intensely painful and I expect if Steven Spielberg had been there he would have been caught up in the drama and optioned the film rights – that is if the splinter was an actual splinter and not a teeny weeny speck that I could barely see. The bloke in question was apparently in ‘massive pain’ – uh huh – and had to get it out or he was in danger of dying – so he told me. The thing is he couldn’t shove the sharp, splinter get-er-out-er-rer probe into his own hand because he knew it would hurt ‘terribly.’ I did what any woman worth her salt would have done when faced by a whiner, I took the sharp probe, grabbed his hand, plunged it in and flipped the life threatening splinter from his flesh in a matter of seconds. He howled. He pointed to the speck of blood this major surgery involved. Sigh…where have all the good men gone and where are all the gods?
Thursday, 5 December 2013
So, one temp job finishes tomorrow. I got rung up by another company to come in for a look see for another temp job – you know they want to have a quick look at you to see you don’t have two heads. I went, sat, chatted and had only one horrible moment as to which resume they were reading from and what constructive and descriptive info I had given. I have my real resume that lists every job I have ever done and it makes me on one hand, look flighty and on the other ‘very experienced.’ Resume two is a combo of experience and serious commitment. Resume version 3 is the dedicated individual committed to working hard - ydah, ydah, ydah. It depends on the company who I send what to or who has referred me on to them and which version they are holding onto and what I will say. Thank god I’m a great tap dancer when it comes to truth and fiction and can cover my arse at any given moment.
This new temp job is for a short contract. That suits me because essentially I’m going to use them to get paid money and then leave them, of course very upset that I have to - look sincere as I say it – because I'm 95% certain I have this other full time job done and dusted and I need what I call gap money in the interim.
Yes, the machinations of my mind often exhaust me…
Wednesday, 4 December 2013
So, at the temp job, which finishes Friday and I’m not at all upset as it’s the most anal place on the planet with the laziest people AKA public service, I have to input these invoices into the computer. Yeah. It’s a no brainer and boring as all get out but being a temp means you’re like a hooker. Pay me for that and I’ll do it. I may not do it well or find it interesting but I’m just doing it for the dosh so don't expect any great emotion, buddy.
Anyway, with the invoices you sit and type in all this crap into the boxes on screen that has to have crap typed into them. I had done a bazillion of these, and was going brain dead, when it occurred to me that in a batch that I had done and just come back from the accounts payable people – I have never met an interesting accounts payable person - they’re a dreary lot whose worlds are ruled by anal rules and the words ‘should’ and ‘shouldn’t’. I counter this with ‘why not?’ which drives them insane, which I admit I enjoy doing. Where was I? Oh yeah, so in the batch that came back – picture me typing them in, sending to accounts payable. They type something on the invoices and send then back to me where I’m supposed to receipt them and send them back to them where they probably stamp them 7 times and then file them and someone in 30 years will say ‘what a load of bollocks’ and chuck them out. Ah, public service. So I pointed out in an email a double up of a certain invoice - my error, which they should have picked up - and I said it needed to be cancelled. This caused, let’s call him – Miron – from accounts to have a conniption fit.
We can’t just cancel things
What? You don’t know how?
(insert horrified gasp) That’s not the point. We don’t ever do it.
Why not? It’s a mistake. I made it.
You shouldn’t have made it
Well, you didn’t pick it up in the back and forward crap between us you lot do.
(sucking in of air through clenched teeth). Were you paying attention to what you were doing?
(Me contemplating personal emails, phone calls and personal internet done during work time) Sure. Absolutely. More than likely. Probably. The thing is Miron it needs to be fixed.
This is so troublesome.
(Troublesome?) Yes, I’m sure it is. If you want to meet me for pistols at dawn and we duel it out then fine but accounts wise you should cancel a double up as you will pay twice and that seems more troublesome.
Oh dear, oh dear…
Miron, get a grip man. Tell me how to cancel it. My ID will be against it and everyone can blame me and I won’t give a crap.
Oh dear, oh dear…
Yeah. Whatever. How do I cancel it?
I’m not sure.
(I knew it) Okay, well there’s this big red X up in the toolbar. I’m gonna click on that. Either it will cancel it or we all die.
Too late. Oh, lookie, the invoice is gone. Do you now get a notification that it's deleted and do you send it to me and I send it back to you with a stamp on it? Then you stamp it and....
When do you leave?
Come on Miron, you’ll miss me. You know you will.
Posted by Amarinda Jones at 5:44 pm
Tuesday, 3 December 2013
So, I’ve been reading this series about a female vampire hunter who hangs out with vampires, werewolves, wereleopeards, wererats – you name it and there’s a human who turns into some sort of animal at the full moon – and she knows them all. Anyway, the heroine, who started off all business with guns blazing and with I’ll-kill-you-if-you-look-at-me-sideways-attitude and was pretty much celibate in book one, but now? She is pretty much screwing everyone. Her reasoning, and I believe it’s one we can all use, is that she had to have sex with someone because she is basically trying to save the world and make sure all her friends, who are pretty much male, are safe due to her ability to have sex ad hoc. Yeah, I do understand that. I’m not a slut, I’m a peacemaker, a saviour, a visionary and someone who should be considered for the Nobel Peace Prize purely due to having my body be made available to all and sundry to thrust out their demons or whatever. Yes. It makes perfect sense.
Yeah, the series is starting to annoy me. This woman started out as a tough, no nonsense heroine who was credible in my eyes. I’m not saying don’t have sex to save the world because we’ve all, I’m sure, done that at some time. Sex. Orgasm. World saved. It’s a no-brainer. All I’m saying is get off her and let her go back to being tough and no nonsense. The confused, ‘oh my god why did I have sex with X, Y and Z not to mention L, M, N and O?’ is wearing thin with the heroine. Yeah, the author is successful and good luck to her. I’m just disappointed she corrupted the character due to her sex. It makes the character look weak. Give her back her metaphorical balls.