Thursday, 30 April 2009

Very, very nice...and a what the?

For a split second at work it was interesting. We went from dragging our arses around, yawning, bitching and gossiping while making a vague attempt to look like we were working to suddenly awake and alive, our heads popping up meerkat like from over our desk barriers, eyes alight and mouths curved in a smile of excitement. Why? Four luscious firies - fireman - entered the very, very nice for us.

Apparently an alarm had gone off on our work site. Oh yeah? We heard no bells but hey, we’ll all help you check out the premises because suddenly safety is very important to us all. ‘Ever notice how tall and amazingly yummy firies are? The thing is I wonder if they were in civvies - jeans and a t-shirt - would we notice as much? Okay, yeah, we would - we're not dead...but there is that whole man in uniform thing going on when it comes to firies. Big strapping men with hard hats and stuff… did I mention that was very, very nice?

One of my colleagues asked were we being evacuated? We were ready to follow these gods anywhere after a quick lipstick refresh. But alas, they were not there to save our motley crew. Bummer. This was the most disappointing news that we had since the junk food dispenser in the lunch room ran out of Tim Tam fingers.

We watched them leave - sad, desperate women standing in reception, our noses pressed to the glass. Oh, but it was very, very nice for a moment…

Off nice and on to what the…

Riddle me this…I am yet to work out why on an “author only” loop why other authors have to tell an audience of authors how good they are. What’s that about? It’s probably a bloody good bet that we’re not going to read their book so why try and convince us? Shouldn’t these authors be off pedalling their cookies somewhere else? My understanding of “author only” loops is the free trade of useful information and not a sales pitch to the disinterested. How is that useful to any of us? Yeah, you can email me with the reason…
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Wednesday, 29 April 2009

Nothing much to tell you….

….I have edits, a book cover to request, hormones from hell, a dislocated toe, a man who rings me up every day with obscene suggestions that make me smile and I just sent him a bunch of scary-this-is-how-terrible-I-can-look-in-the-morning-without-17-cups-of-coffee-photos…it’s like a trial by fire for him – you’re all smart – you know what I mean …I defy any man not to freak out after seeing those…my trainer made me run and jump over things carrying 10 kilo weights yesterday…and yes, he did run away after I threw the last one to the ground because he said I had a look in my eye that suggested I might ‘throw it at his head’ – nah, the man gave me a pretty pink water bottle…he’s a sweetie – a body crippling bastard but a sweetie…that’s it….so much to do, so many people to piss off and freak out…hope you are the same.

But before I go – a question…

….why do other authors that you could not give a rats arse about email you and ‘insist’ you do this and that for them because they need sales…hello? Insist? You need? Yeah you do need manners and ordering me Sunshine gets you zilch. No writer on the planet is guaranteed sales. If you aren’t getting any maybe look at who you are as a person and stop thinking the world owes you something because I can tell you right now…it don’t.
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Tuesday, 28 April 2009

To cleave or not to cleave…

I tried this swimsuit on – normally I would say I tried some cozzies on but you would probably have no idea what a cozzie was so I will say a swimsuit for those with less colourful languages. Anyway, I loved the boardshort type shorts – short but they covered what I wanted covered – excellent. Then I tried on this halter neck tankini top – it actually look pretty damn good too – I was quite surprised…however…and there is always one – there was a hell of a lot of cleavage on display – yikes! While in all likelihood I would wear a t-shirt over the top of my cozzies – er, swimsuit – due to the fact I burn really fast and skin cancer is no friend of mine - the whole cleavage thing had me wondering. Do I have enough guts to carry this off?

While I am pretty bloody daring, the thought of that much boobage on display and the possibility it may explode out of the cups it was positioned in, at any moment, and maybe knock someone’s eyes out, was scary. It made me wonder about people who have mega cleavage always on display. Is it that they’re incredibly confident, are the securely taped in or do they not care if they blacken an eye with a projectile nipple?

And to be honest, I don’t want to see that much of me on display. I know what I’ve got. I don’t want to see it out there – so to speak. So I decided against the halter neck as I didn’t want to hurt someone and no, I don’t have the type of courage to let it all hang out. Some things, to my mind, are better left to the imagination and boobs once spilled are not forgotten.

**Cozzie = swimming costume

here – I dedicate this to the Frog Queen – I have never doubted your perseverance, persistence and strength. We owe you more than you will ever realize.
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Monday, 27 April 2009

On the road again....

Years ago, when I was young and stupid, as opposed to now where I am just older and marginally less stupid, I used to travel a lot. It meant nothing to me to earn enough to get an airfare, have a couple of hundred dollars in my pocket with my passport and just piss off overseas to travel and work. I loved doing it. I enjoy living out of a suitcase. I love just wandering around with no agenda.

But then there comes the day when you arrive home with only $40 USD, a piñata and a hangover – you own nothing and while having no plans is fun, it’s not going to get you anywhere in life. So, I had a moment in my mid twenties when I thought – pull your head in and get your act together, woman – and for god sake get rid of the piñata. I did. Of late I have been pleased that all my ducks are finally in a row, albeit slightly haphazard, and I seem to be doing okay…now the itchy feet have started up again.

A friend of mine has been talking about going to Cairns. She is heading up in this next week. That had me thinking… “I have never been to Cairns.” Where is it?
Click here. It’s in pointy end of Australia, in the tropics and it’s where you can go take a look at the Great Barrier Reef etc. It’s about 2 and a half hours from Brizzie by plane and due to the economy there are some fantastic deals encouraging people up there. Well – that’s good enough reason for me – itchy feet + deal = walkabout. So I am going up north mid June. It’s technically winter in Oz but it will be – as the Cairns tourism operator said – shorts and t-shirt weather. Excellent – that’s me – I hate dressing up and no one dresses up in FNQ – far north Queensland – that's too long for an Aussie to say.

I am not one to make grand plans per se other than booking a flight and a hotel – but damn I am looking forward to this. I already intend to go sailing, snorkeling and touring the rain forest. It has ignited my love of travel once more. I have vowed I am going to do this more. Life is too short to be phoning it in constantly– and money? While money is a capitalist concept that I love, it’s just meant to be spent and I can’t think of anyone else who deserves my money more than me.

And yes…I will be writing a romance based on Cairns…I’ll be taking notes on things, Mr Tax Man…
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Sunday, 26 April 2009

Oh for god sake...

I wasn’t going to blog again today but page 9 of The Sunday Mail annoyed me…Australia’s entrant in the Miss Universe contest – no, I do not believe in beauty cattle calls – that’s not what beauty is about – it’s an impossible ideal - but apparently according to the plastic powers that be in the Miss Universe world – the Aussie entrant - a Queenslander ( my home state) needs to be ‘refined.’ Why does this stunning woman need refining? Well, she has a ‘Queensland accent.’

“She’s also very Queensland and Queensland has a bit of a different accent. So I think it’s about just trying to refine her accent a little.”

Oh bugger off…we speak lovely in Queensland – but more importantly – this contest hit home to me once more the if you want to be seen as ‘beautiful’ you must conform in all ways to what those who ‘supposedly’ know what beauty is. What a load of crap. These people don’t know their arse from their elbow. People are beautiful because of who they are – voice and all. Wankers.
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Things not to do….

Epilators (they pull each hair out) are great on your legs but if you want to be able to put your arms at your sides don’t use them on your armpits regardless what the instructions say. Dumb arsed instruction reading – I always knew it would lead to anarchy. I now know how to torture any attacker who is dumb enough to break into my home….I’ll epilate him…

Dislocating your toe…very painful to reset it back – no, don’t try it yourself – I did – but I’m a practiced idiot who believes she can do everything herself - it worked but I swear I saw only white for fifteen minutes due to pain. Now I have a lovely purple foot. Moral of the story? Don’t be in such a crazy rush to go somewhere and watch where you put your feet or you’ll fall arse over head.

Don’t go to the gym with a sore foot. …makes it sorer and limping and sweating just make you look pathetic and smelly.

It’s pointless trying to use the ‘recall message’ facility on email as it never frigging works and the message you didn’t want someone to see – they see – then you never hear the end of why you sent it or why you tried to recall it or why any other bloody thing. Moral of the story – think before sending…actually it’s probably best not to use email when you have sore armpits and a purple foot….actually PMS doesn’t help either… so when you look at like that, none of this is my fault. The universe just hates me at the moment.

That’s it – sore, cranky and pissed at myself….oh well, thank god for chocolate. It never judges you. I'm off to the Sunshine Coast today to inflict my loveliness on another.
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Saturday, 25 April 2009

Anzac Day

Lest we forget

Click here - - this song sums up Galliopli so well.

Great Aussies....

Hugh Jackman has questioned why Americans are so fascinated with his sexuality and Australians are not.

The Wolverine star and reigning Sexiest Man Alive has repeatedly denied he is gay and in a new US interview with Parade magazine again confirmed he is heterosexual.

"The questions about sexuality I find more here in America than anywhere else, because it's a big hang-up and defines what people think about themselves and others," the Australian actor told Parade.
"It's not a big issue in Australia."

Oh please…like Hugh is gay and he is right – in Australia we don’t care about crap like this and we feel no need to drag someone down by labelling them something dumb like this. Hugh Jackman is about as gay as I am a natural blonde….get a grip people – are you mad? I think people who try to ‘out’ others need to look at their own sexuality and ask why they do it…

Okay….now on a deadly series note – Anzac Day – April 25th

This is a sacred day in Australia and in New Zealand – ANZAC – Australian New Zealand Army Corp. The day originates from the landings at Gallipoli on the same day in 1915. The English wanker officer hierarchy of the time basically set the colonials - the Aussies and the Kiwis - an impossible task - land at a beach – run like buggery through a hail of bullets raining down on them from above and to try take a piece of land that belonged to the Turks. It was horrific and disastrous and so many young men lost their lives – on both sides - due to an ill-thought out plan by people who had received their officer commissions because they were part of the then English aristocracy, could buy a commission or old buggers that should had retired years ago. My great Uncle Sinclair was at Gallipoli in WW1 He survived but later died in Flanders. War – what a frigging waste. Les Carlyon’s book “Gallipoli” is an excellent read and it pulls no punches.

We honour Anzac day because it’ a true test of Australian and New Zealand courage and mateship - and mateship is everything to an Aussie. We commemorate the day not only for the Anzacs but all Aussie and Kiwi soldiers who have died in war, those who served in wars and the men and women in the defence forces now, all over the world, who are fighting for freedom. Where would be without the courage of these people?

For more on Anzac Day – click here -
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Friday, 24 April 2009

There is this man…

….he is most annoying smart arse I have ever met – yet he’s also sweet and sexy. I want to slap him and kiss him and do baaaad things with him then yell at him for making me do stuff. He has the best voice. He rings me up in the middle of work and makes the most arousing suggestions and I can’t answer because everyone is listening to me and my tongue gets all tied. I want him. I don’t want him. I push him away. He stays where he is. I deny feeling anything. He says he understands. What? I don’t even understand. He screws with my mind. He emails me more vivid suggestions of ‘things to do’ and I can’t but help respond in the same vein. Lust is a wondrous thing.

So I have been throwing some caution to the wind of late. Its sheer madness of course as this won’t last. It’s not meant to. It’s like some crazy virus that we both have and it’ll go away once we wear ourselves out…but oh, its been so much fun…I haven’t felt this much in years…hoping you are the same….
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Thursday, 23 April 2009


Why a freebie? Many reasons…because I can…just a little experiment in stuff…but be warned – this is Adults only – very adult concepts and highly unedited…

Possibilities © Amarinda Jones

**** Yeah the freebie was here but it's gone - it's now under contract
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Wednesday, 22 April 2009


A friend who has issues with Barbie sent me this...of course, this will never happen to the skinny bitch but I understand where she's coming from.
I am most knackered....back tomorrow.
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Tuesday, 21 April 2009

I don't understand...

…it seems every email I get or blog I read, someone has a book trailer they want you to look at. It’s almost like a cult. I don’t really get the point of book trailers. If you had a massive reading audience then maybe but even then I tend to think people would buy your books because they like your books. And have you noticed all the trailers look the same? Generally it’s just close up of the book cover shown over and over and over again – the hero’s chest in close up, his left nipple – then pan out to see his chest – then focus on his right nipple – then pan around the cover to his thigh, his big toe, his left ear – and oh yeah then let’s take a close up of the woman he’ll have sex with - while words are displayed on the screen telling you what is the story in supposedly seductive language. Why not just say “look at the man’s pecs, isn’t he pretty, buy the book, it’s got sex in it.” It’s about as subtle. Yeah – you know my email address…

…what is it with people sending you photos of body parts on your mobile (cell) phone? Huh? I don’t understand it. I got one today at work – not the most conducive place. Mind you it was meant to be disruptive. It was something very specific that was designed to make me think. Yes, I knew who it belonged to and it was kind of hard not to look at it. Why would you photograph yourself like this? Apparently it’s fun and titillation….oh, and the camera ‘slipped’. I was asked to reciprocate with a “photo of left breast.” I sent the picture above. Well, he never mentioned my actual breast….How many women would do that?

…why do people insist you follow some dumb arsed rule they have never told anyone else about in 3 years – ok, maybe it is written somewhere - then when you give in to their whining because it’s like an ice pick through your ear – they make no effort to follow the rule themselves. I had that happen today. The overnight mail “must” be ready at 3:30pm to be picked up at 3:30pm by the courier, in a certain place or the world will end. We left at 4pm and the mail was still sitting in the certain place so if the world ends I know who we can blame. This is why I don’t follow rules. They’re stupid.
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Monday, 20 April 2009

The devil inside...

The devil is and always has been a gentleman.”-- Diane LaVey

I made a most interesting deal with the devil. It was fun to do as I put so many provisions and conditions on the deal that it’s highly unlikely to ever come about. But you know what, the chance that it may is exciting. What was the deal? Hmm…best not to say it out loud to tempt fate.

Every so often I love to throw caution to the wind and think ‘what the hell…let’s live real dangerously.' There is something to be said about being reckless. We spend so much of our lives being good and careful and doing the right thing that I reckon we need do something bad to counterbalance that or we’ll shrivel up with boredom. Sure, it may all end in tears and kicking oneself but it will have been one hell of a ride….that’s if I take it…oh the possibilities....

The devil made me do it.” -- Flip Wilson
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Sunday, 19 April 2009

Ocker up….

I was asked a while back, along with some other Aussie authors, to do a story for a possible Aussie Anthology – they wanted us to actually write Aussie words and have a story with a true Aussie flavour.Struth-stone the crows – holy dooley–you little ripper-that’s ace. I spend most of my writing time trying not to be my normal Aussie self as some people have no bloody idea what I’m saying. Anyway, this project appears to be going ahead so I am ockering up-cobber-bewdy-sheila-mate-Bruce to speak the Aussie-strine lingo.

My editor is an Aussie. It’s hard for her editing me because words that are common, everyday speak to both of us have to be put into Yankee-pseudo-Aussie speak and sometimes real Aussie words with definite strine flavour sneak through. This becomes a problem when the FLE - final line editing person - gets the edited version and thinks what the hell is this Aussie shelia crapping on about? Okay – so she wouldn’t say exactly that – usually its comments like ‘huh?’ or ‘what?’ or ‘what are you trying to say?’ It’s a bugger when that happens because then I then have to work out how to have the same tone and meaning while keeping it Aussie yet making it understandable for a wider audience. I am pleased when I get comments back from readers and reviewers saying they like the Aussie flavour because it means some of who I am has come through the whole process.

I love being an Australian and everything about our culture. It’s hard to suppress who you are and I don’t agree with suppression but I understand the need for it sometimes…sorta. So I am going to have a bit of fun with this book and see is anyone understands it.
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Saturday, 18 April 2009

How long….

…can one realistically pine for another? How long do you wonder about an ex-lover? When do you stop thinking about them? Is there a time limit? Are you just supposed to be strong and cut ties and walk off and pretend someone never existed? Do you decide to hate them in lieu of being with them because it makes you feel better? Or do you compare every single person in your life with them? But how good were they if they walked out on you when you were so in love with them? Or do you think ‘fuck it, you don’t deserve me.’

Why the questions? Well mainly because I can…it’s my blog. But more importantly, I have been talking to another about people who come into your life who you love so deeply and cannot forget when they leave it. No, not people who die – I mean we all know how devastating that is. You know you’ll see them again when you yourself die, providing you go to Heaven or get a visitors day pass from hell. But this is more about the people who come into your life turn it outside down, take your heart and romance you until you can think of no one but them – then they leave, for whatever reason, and you sit and wonder what they’re doing, could you have done something better or maybe plot to get them back. Those people suck. No, really they do. No one should leave another to feel like that. And no, that’s never happened to me. I don’t pine.

The current book I am writing has an element of that in it - and other stuff…I won’t say much more as we writers do ‘inadvertently’ nick another writer’s stuff ‘unintentionally’ of course.…but talking to this person really hit home to me how easily we wound each other when it comes to love and how long some of these wounds take to heal. And as I pointed out to him that if it was really meant to be and if you really loved each other and if you had any meaning in her life then she wouldn’t have left so why beat yourself up over the scrag…I mean woman? Why do we do that to ourselves? Why do we think we’re to blame? Is the need to be loved so important that once we have it, although everything may not be perfect or great, we hold onto it so tight for fear of losing it that we fail to see what we have is actually pretty average?

You know romance writers write the fantasy of love but rarely ever do we show cold hard you-ripped-my-heart-out-of-my-chest-and-drop-kicked-it- into-a-wall-then-made-me-wonder-what-the-hell-I-did-wrong-and-why- the-hell-am-I-sitting-and-thinking-about-you-as-I-stare-at-your-picture-on-my-cell-phone? And let’s face it no one really wants to read a romance book where the heroine or hero sits on the hood of his car, staring out to sea, raw, ravaged and pining for what could have been the whole book. We want to know that maybe they did have a fight but they will get together. That doesn’t help a great deal when someone is pining does it? That’s not life as we know it, Jim.

If you are pining for someone who walked in – shook your world up and then walked out without a backward glance – stop it - stuff ‘em – you're worth more.
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

The sound of silence….

Yesterday, I said way too much in my personal life that I think being real quiet at the moment is the safest thing to do. It’s scary how some people just make you open up and say stuff without thinking. That’s not a bad thing, it’s just confronting…you are very bad cyber boy…
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Friday, 17 April 2009


Rant begins – children on roller skates do not belong in supermarkets. One of these feral little beings was tearing around the aisles and running full bore crashing into people…until she met me. I swear I could stop a rhino in its tracks with one look if I wanted to especially after a day at work. Let’s just say those skates were off her ankles after her mother was located. It’s your choice to have kids. It’s ours not to be inflicted with the little ‘darlings’ because you are too pigging lazy to look after them. No wonder so many of them get in trouble…rant over.

On to…

…I don’t have cute gym clothes...why bother? I’m at the gym to sweat...not look cute. Actually I have never looked cute in my life so I wouldn’t start to try now. I am what I am. I will say though that Hugh, my trainer - aka the man who is trying to kill me, is quite impressed with my pink Nike trimmed shoes – they were on sale. I believe he was saying that as I am getting pretty good at boxing and he's worried I’ll snot him one (punch him out) in my exuberance. He also told me I have very bendy, flexible legs. Isn’t it that sweet? Again, I believe I frighten him enough for him to give me compliments. It’s an excellent relationship. I told best friend Ethel this over our daily email, not like we’re at work to work, and she said that ‘bendy legs’ might be something worth adding to a résumé to confuse people. She is looking for another job – that, or win the lotto. I’m considering that update to my resume. If nothing else it would be worth someone asking at an interview ‘and how will bendy legs help you in this job?’
Oh, so many answers to give…

But I digress…my actual point of this blog was to whine – further - why is it that men's clothes are always cheaper? What I mean by this is I like to wear a baggy shirt over my trackie daks (sweat pants) at the gym – for obvious reasons – less rippling flab on display. I can certainly buy a plain female t-shirt but it's generally $8 - 10 more expensive than a similar plain one for a man. Why the hell is that? Plain navy blue shirt for a man - $5.00. For a woman - $15.00. Same cotton blend, same boring cut. So why are women paying more? It's not like it was a designer label or even styled for a woman's figure. We're being ripped off – and yes I know it’s been happening for years but as I wandered this particular factory outlet that was cheap, I realized just how much cheaper it was for men. It’s just frigging wrong. It’s like the basic women's haircut has to be $15-$20 more than a man’s - for what? Trimming hair? “Women’s hair requires more styling.” Oh pluh-ease…don’t pee on my head and tell me it’s raining…you just want to make a buck at our expense – and we let you, damn it.

So is it that we, as women, have allowed ourselves to be suckered into paying more for the same blue unisex t-shirt because it’s in the women’s section and that makes it somehow more feminine? If something is a staple for men as it for women then shouldn’t it be the same price? Why don’t we jump up and down about this as we do with everything else – or is it because it’s clothing or hair trimming etc and we think – nah, it’s not really an important issue in the scheme of things? And if so then we are perpetuating a trend? And yes, of course I bought a couple of smaller versions in the man's unisex t-shirt…but it still pisses me off and the check out chick (sales person) agreed with me but how useless are we? ‘Got to wonder who dictates the prices. Men – or people who know women will buy clothes regardless of price…and in that case we are to blame.

Okay, yes, strange blog but there it is for a Friday…
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Thursday, 16 April 2009


Been doing quite a bit of that lately. My boring little world has taken a shaking and I’m not real sure how to deal with it – okay – well, I could do what I normally do – duck and weave and do the avoidance thing but it’s not working – damn it. You know when you’ve been smacked in the face with reality and you think – “huh, that doesn’t fit with everything else I thought I knew so how do I deal with this other than fight it?” Yeah, don’t you hate having to think about things? Life is easy to run on auto pilot – sort of phoning it in if you like.

One thing I have been contemplating is monogamy. Up until just recently I was very black and white on this issue – married or in a committed relationship equals no screwing around or body parts would be lopped in vengeance. Nah, just kidding. Cutting the crotch out of every pair of trousers that a man’s owns is much better retaliation…so I’m told…um…anyway…so I was very fixed on the whole monogamy thing. Yeah, how boring and old fashioned am I? But, I have been dealing with another who made me start to wonder about how fixed I am in things in life. Yes – I absolutely believe you can be attracted by more than one person and that attraction does not stop when you get married or go into the whole ‘we’ll-move-in-together-oh-my-god-is-that-your-sofa-no-way-are-you-keeping-it’ deal. But it would never occur to me to act on that attraction.

So this very free sprit has wandered into my life, started screwing with my mind and made me see lots of things differently from lovers to my writing to every god damn thing I do. I hate that. I am even asking him questions about this and that after denying I even thought he had a point. The monogamy thing? Nah, I still believe if you’re going to tie yourself to someone then don’t screw around as that person deserves better – but I will say I do understand a different point of view. I know he doesn’t read the blog – he’s a doer not a writer - so I will say he is right about some stuff. See? I can be generous and admit I may be, on the odd occasion, possibly not quite correct or maybe just a little too obsessive with my opinion sometimes…you know like on a full moon or something…

here spruiking on about stuff today as I am wont to do – come and check it out or not – your call. I’ll expect you if I see you.
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Wednesday, 15 April 2009

Bossy bitch...

Someone told me today that I was’ incredibly bossy’. I am not. I just like things done my way. My theory is that no one is ever wrong – I’m just more correct. I said that to a colleague and he was speechless for a second before replying, “And if I don’t do it your way?” Oh – you don’t want to know - but let’s just say worlds colliding would be easier to deal with. Yes, I am a horrible, controlling, bossy bitch and yet I like it…and yes, he did it my way.

I am bossy to the point that people say “ask Amarinda what to do.” To which I generally say, hands on hips – I am very good at the hand on hips thing by the way as I can make it look real effective and frightening - “well, I can’t be in charge of everything…but do this then that and when you’re finished go and do the other…” Actually I am in charge of everything. Why? Because I say so. It’s quite exhausting.

I listened to myself saying something today and I thought – ‘holy crap, woman, this man can fire your arse out of the building’ – yet I couldn’t stop until I got what I wanted, my way. I think it’s an addiction. I am also very plain spoken and to the point. I see something wrong and I want it fixed. Add bossy and controlling to mouthy and I can be hell on earth. And it’s not a power rush, it’s more – “okay, everything is now my way and the world can resume turning until I decide it can be stopped.” What a pain in the arse huh? Sometimes I truly try and not say anything – just sit and have no opinion at all but it’s like I was born with sergeant-major tendencies and soon I am shooting orders out before I can stop myself and people are scurrying off to do as I decree…okay, I kind of like that. Watching people scurry is fun.

But once, just once, I would like someone to call my bluff and say and mean it - “No, bugger off Amarinda we’re not doing it your way and pulling faces and the hands on the hips thing is not going to work with me.” No one ever does though and when you look at it that way I can’t help that I’m bossy. It’s actually everyone else’s fault.
Yes…that’s it.
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Tuesday, 14 April 2009


Lot’s of stuff going on, decisions to make, thoughts to think…hope you are the same…back tomorrow.

Watch this - – judge a book by its cover? I think not – well done Susan. You have inspired me to take a leap of faith.
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Monday, 13 April 2009


….While You Were Sleeping… “Who are you Jack? The happiness guru?”
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Sunday, 12 April 2009


…I think you really have to be in the mood to write it – and I don’t mean candlelight, soft music and a glass of red wine. It’s more about being focused, determined and sitting on your arse and making two characters come together in a believable way. It’s about putting four hands in the right places without suddenly realizing a fifth hand has appeared. Recently a gentleman argued the point with me that you cannot write sex just sitting at a computer – that was it too clinical, too logical, too safe. You had to do it. Well hell honey, you can’t write it flat on your back under a man either for where do you put the lap top…unless you are on top, with it resting on his chest, but I venture many a man would not take kindly to you stopping every minute to see where his hands were, measuring the length of his cock – possibly shaking your head because you visualized the hero longer and thicker - asking him how he felt, what you felt like against his skin or getting him to alternate between fast and slow so you could describe the feeling. Now that would be clinical.

Actually, this same gentleman pointed out to me something that had never occurred to me before…well why would it…I don’t have a penis…anyway, he said going ‘commando’ was not really a ideal preference for a man. How did we get into this discussion? It’s a very long story but basically it eventually came down to the fact that a lot of romance heroes drop their strides (trousers) and their penis is all ready to – er - go. This gentleman pointed out that going commando makes sitting an issue and not many men prefer it. Huh…right – I never thought of that before. Don’t you have the most interesting conversations sometimes when you least expect it?

But I digress – sex – it’s hard – it should be if it’s done right. So what is the point? Well there is always one with sex, but in this case – it’s about making yourself knuckle down and write regardless how you feel…and now I have to re-think the whole commando deal…it’s hard being a writer some times.

Other news…

I picked up another contract…proof that I do not completely suck – and I had a wild Scorpionic moment – I love it when they happen as they are my true self – and decided to ditch sending the NY proposal thing in and write as I have always done and let the cards fell where they may…life is way more exciting that way.
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Saturday, 11 April 2009

The things people do…

So I spent Good Friday writing until my fingers were pulp trying to finish what I call the NY thing – a proposal type do-hickey to an NY agent who had asked me – “what have you got in your bag of writing tricks Amarinda?” Well, I had stuff all but I came up with something. It should be done and sent in the next couple of days. If it gets shot down in flames – so be it. I’ve been shot down before. I know how to fall. Tuck and roll, baby, tuck and roll…

On to other things…like, say…plagiarism…

I was reading this blurb the other day of an another writer’s upcoming release and I thought – holy crap – the story sounded exactly like that of a well known writer whose book, part of a well known series, sounded precisely like this blurb. Hello? Am I the only one who can see that? It screamed obvious to me. Bloody hell…this author either has huge balls, doesn’t care or hasn’t worked out the direct correlation between her story and that of another’s…good luck with that if the body of the story is as direct a rip off as the blurb.

Writing romance books is difficult in the fact that the premise is falling in love – and no, that cannot be plagiarized because love is all to do with life. I suppose some cosmic being could stamp their feet and have a hissy fit but no one owns human life – as far as I know. I could be wrong. So making a book distinctive and different especially in a climate where women are falling in love with demons, vampires, shifters, zombies, robots…okay – I don’t know about robots…maybe someone can correct me on that too – but being unique is hard to do in romance land and cheating happens.

I will admit I do shamelessly plagiarize events from my own life and some personal emails. “Is that me on page 7 Amarinda?” Maybe…Yes, shocking of me but I reckon you get your best ideas when you base them on real life. It’s not rocket science is it? But, in saying that, I don’t mean real life as in sitting and reading someone else’s book one night when you can’t sleep and then thinking – well, crap I could write a story exactly like that. That’s just asking for trouble. Or what happens when you ‘inadvertently’ nick someone’s else’s story and you realize it? Do you fiddle with it so it seems different or do you think “stuff ‘em I spend X numbers of hours writing this so too bad for them.” What happens when you don’t realize it and someone points it out to you? Do you do the right thing and scrap it or cross your fingers and hope that no one will know like the blatant one I saw? Yes, yes – we all assimilate stuff we hear or see but if something belongs to someone else how far would you push it to get ahead in a competitive industry?

When I was at University – they would kick your arse from here to billy-o – billy-o being a very long way, away…no, I’m not sure how far, it’s an Aussie measurement but it’s probably equivalent to ‘as far as the crow flies’ which is pretty far…if you plagiarized. They do the same if they catch you in the publishing world. Why would you even take the risk? Who do I think is going to get their arse kicked for blatant nicking when their book is released?
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Friday, 10 April 2009

See how she runs....

Why are there so many floor to ceiling mirrors in gyms? I was running on a treadmill and I looked at myself and thought – 'holy crap – that is not poetry in motion.’ Why would you want to see yourself bouncing along like that? It’s just feral. I asked Hugh, my trainer, who I believe is secretly trying to kill me, what was the go on the mirror deal and he said “it makes you feel good and motivates you – now chase me as I run around the room and try and hit me with the boxing gloves.” Running is just pukeable – no it really is. You feel so much more of your body than you really want to - and he can run fast. If I was ever going to have a heart attack it would have been then…sadistic sod. He dodges and laughs his arse off as I try and take a swing at him. I’ll get him one day.

What I do like about the gym is the women’s only exercise room – no men are allowed in to exercise. Actually all the men in the gym are very nice and respectful so there is no really need to go in there but for the fact it overlooks where the men are lifting weights – we can see them – they can’t see us – I think you know why women ‘need’ to exercise in there.

That’s it. I’m knackered. I have four days off due to Easter – public holidays - yay! Correct. I am an atheist but to get a day off work I’ll be whatever you want.

If you are travelling this Easter - be safe. If you are relaxing – you deserve it. If you are eating Easter chocolate – calories don’t count because it’s a gift.
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Thursday, 9 April 2009

I gotta’ tell ya…

…I’ve been dealing with some very trying men of late. As much as men fascinate me with their egos, their charm and their intelligence, they can also be bloody stupid, arrogant and dumb.

Why do men think they know it all? Yeah, I know…it’s the riddle of the sands and the sands are always shifting so you have no bloody idea how to work out what’s going on at any given time so why bother? I don’t know -but every so often I do wonder and then I realize why I haven’t in so long. Men are strange.

I got a letter from ‘A’ in Nicaragua. She is 6. I sponsor her schooling. ‘A’ wants to be a Doctor. I hope to whichever cosmic deity is winning the pissing contest amongst the others that she will. I hope ‘M’ in Bangladesh will get to be the school teacher she dreams of being. These girls – like millions of others in 3rd world countries, have been born into a world where gender marks equality. If you saw Sunday’s blog I was wild at the Afghan President for turning the clock backwards on women’s rights. I still am. But ‘A’s’ letter and the week I have had brought home to me that while I am incredibly lucky to be born in Australia, with all the benefits that go with it, women are never going to be truly equal.

I live in a fantastic country. It’s the best one on Earth but men rule the world and always will and I don’t care what rad fems say. You go into any workplace in any free country and I guarantee you, I have worked in 27 jobs, that while there may be a female in charge somewhere in the organization, the power of the penis still rules. Five women at work have pointed this out to me this week. And I have seen it myself. Men talk without thinking. I don’t know whether men are aware of what they’re saying or whether it comes out of their mouths before they think but jeez Louise, I’ve had to fight a few battles this week because of men assuming they are the chosen ones due to the extra appendage. Well, they’re not and I have pointed that out and the fact that I’m just as good as them. But for every one woman who says something another stays quiet or complains to another woman.

So, my point is – and I do have one –as much as I would love to see a female Afghan President or the barriers to gender smashed down, I believe they will always be there regardless of what reforms are pushed through to make sure so many women hold a percentage of jobs or power or whatever feel good thing creates publicity. So if we cannot get it right in our ‘lucky’ worlds how the hell will we get it right in developing worlds?

No, I’ll never give up on equal rights but weeks like this make me wonder how a kid in Nicaragua with everything against her can rise if western women are still fighting inequality on a daily basis. I don’t hate men. I just wish they would think for five seconds before they speak.
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Wednesday, 8 April 2009

‘Been paying someone….

to yell at me…huh? Yep, I have joined a gym. Still can’t believe that phrase is coming out of my mouth. Sure, I walk for exercise and to keep by crap metabolism moving – but last week I said – “Amarinda get thee to a gym.” Yes, I am losing the weight I put on when I was sick last year but I had this weird urge to do more. And yes, I would normally resist weird, unnatural urges like this but for some reason I couldn’t…maybe because there was no chocolate in the house. Maybe I was out to prove a point. Spite is a great motivator.

So I wandered into the gym and negotiated a deal – because it’s what I do – beating down the price and hey – whizz bang presto – I’m a gym member. Now, people who really know me were not the slightest bit surprised at this latest move. I go off on wild tangents all the time.
Oh? You’re writing sex Amarinda? That’s nice. You’re going to a gym? Okay. You’re plotting world domination? Will that leave you open for lunch on Sunday? You’re going to buy a pet duck? Can I borrow your ladder?

I organized a personal trainer person for at least a month as I have no idea what the machines all do and I have a very bad habit of tinkering with things when I think they could work better my way. The trainer is very perky. I said – “Listen up” – let’s call him Hugh, ‘cause he reminds me of Mr Jackman - "I cannot do perky at any time of the day let alone 6am in the morning. Let’s cut to the chase. I’m not here to piss around. I need someone to yell at me to do stuff with machines – I can’t guarantee I won’t yell back - and you – like it or not - are the man to do it.” He was a tad taken aback but he got with the program – always better to go with me than against me. So I am lifting and running, pumping and sweating, climbing and possibly swearing a bit and thinking of terrible things to do to bossy Hugh.

What do I get out of it? Not sure at the moment. I am never going to be thin. I’m not genetically inclined that way. I just want to lose some weight and tone up what’s left. Will Hugh be glad to see the back end of me when the month is over and I can sweat competently on my own? Nah – I see him giggling when I’m hanging upside, turning red and swearing… I’m entertainment for him.
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Tuesday, 7 April 2009

I just knew it....

Have a good Tuesday

RIP Cameron…I don’t know…sometimes life just sucks so bad you can barely stand it.
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Monday, 6 April 2009

I demand answer….

So, I was reading my runes today – you know – those stones with symbols on them that are supposed to give you insight into your life…they’ve been around since day dot…anyway I wanted to know what was going to happen with something in particular my life. Confused with life events? Take a stone out of a red velvet bag and confuse yourself further. What did the runes tell me? That the outcome was unknown and that I should trust my judgment and I would be where I had to be. Well, hells-bloody-bells I was looking for ancient spiritual wisdom. I don’t want to rely on my own judgment. And where exactly do I have to be? How much petrol money does it require? Do I need to bring lunch? Can I have a hint? I want an easy answer handed to me on a plate. You know – do this – don’t so that – go there, wear red knickers not blue and make sure you have your get out of jail free card with you.

Disappointed in the runes, like any rational person in search of the truth, I then read my tarot…oh-for-god-sake – what is it today? The cards basically told me to wait, stand still, assess what I want and move forward. Uh huh…where to? Is forward good? Would sideways be better? You know, sort sneak up on the problem and attack it. Give me an answer. I don’t want to deal with this on my own. I want someone to blame when I screw it up.

Not one to give up – I read my horoscope – Scorpio - apparently I am going through a confusing period in my life. No shit Batman – really? But apparently, if Cosmic Katie is to be believed, at the end of the week I will have news regarding a certain situation. I don’t want to wait until the end of the week. I’ll have done something stupid by then. I can feel it in my bones. I’m good at stupid.

So, why do I, a capable woman of the world dabble in these arts? I don’t really know. I believe there are cosmic forces in play in our lives. I believe certain situations are placed in out paths to test us. I just really wish they wouldn’t all happen at once.

I know I am going to do something really dumb today. How? I just know me. It’s how I handle situations when I am put on the spot as I am now.

Maybe I should do the I-Ching before I go to work…
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Sunday, 5 April 2009

Hits and misses....


Afghan President Hamid Karzai has turned back the clock to the days of the Taliban, signing a law that strips women of basic rights protected by most civilized nations. The new Shiite Personal Status Law, which applies to the country's Shiite minority, is a disastrous step backward for millions of women, who suffered most under the Taliban's Islamic fundamentalism. It severely restricts their rights in every area of life: A Shiite woman would need her husband's or father's permission to leave the house, pursue an education, hold a job or even go to a doctor's appointment. Only fathers and grandfathers would have child-custody rights, and by stipulating how often a husband is entitled to sex, the law permits marital rape.,0,6515825.story

This saddens and angers me so much. I want to go over and shake him. I actually thought this bloke had a clue but I think he is more interested in being a fashion plate than a leader. As far as we have come as women – and I mean women of the world – because I believe what effect one woman effects the other - because we are all one – there is some idiot man trying to drag us back. You are a wanker mate. Develop some balls and stand up for the women in your country.

Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton explained clearly why the country's progress cannot be separated from that of its women. "You cannot expect a country to develop if half its population are underfed, undereducated, under-cared for, oppressed and left on the sidelines," she said. "And we believe strongly that that's not in the interest of Afghanistan or any country.",0,6515825.story

Damn straight Hillary.


The Iowa Supreme Court today
ruled that a ban on same-sex marriage violates the state constitution's equal protection clause, striking down a 1998 state law limiting marriage to a man and a woman.
The ruling makes Iowa the first state in the heartland, and the first key swing state, to legalize same-sex marriage.

I don’t care if you are purple, green or spotted. I don’t care who you love. The thing is you love that person and that is all that matters and if you want to be with them then you should be regardless of what religious bigots think. Good on you Iowa. The oppression of anyone is wrong and needs to be fought against and anyone who thinks otherwise should pull their head out of their arses and contemplate for one moment how they would feel if someone took away their rights. I don’t think you’d like it.

‘Want to piss me off? Piss around with human rights and that will do it every time.
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Saturday, 4 April 2009

Who rules? Drake does….

I would just like to say men are the most odd creatures…

On to other stuff that makes more sense…

Drake’s Rules – by author and good mate Barbara Huffert is out now at Cerridwen Press. This is just the sweetest, most romantic excerpt I have read in a long time and I am not one to go ‘awww’ over things. Nor do I get all warm and fuzzy about stuff…okay – I do fuzzy but that’s only when I really need to shave my legs… anyway – back to sweet, soulful romance – you want it? This book has it. Click on the cover to buy. You will not regret it. It’s a real ‘awww’ book.

Drake’s Rules – the excerpt.

“Not a chance. Now back to my question. You haven’t answered yet.”
“Hmm.” Megan stroked his shoulder as one song blended into the next. “Do I want to be seduced?”
“That’s the one. Perhaps I should be more specific. So there’s absolutely no misunderstanding. What I should have asked is do you want to be seduced now by me?”
“Now. By you. The best-looking man here who just happens to be my date. The one who looks like he stepped right out of every girl’s fantasy in that dinner jacket you’re wearing. You know, I used to think those formal white jackets made all guys look like waiters. You, however, are so handsome my knees get weak every time I look at you. Goes to show you what I know.”
“Thank you, sweetheart. You’re very flattering but you still haven’t answered my question.”
“I know. I’m stalling because I’m enjoying this part so much that I’m not ready for it to be over.”
Drake chuckled. “Neither am I. I wasn’t going to drag you straight to bed if you say yes. Think adult male seduction with extended foreplay, not teenage boy race to the finish.”
“Oh,” Megan’s breath caught at his sensual smile. “Sorry. Guess my lack of experience is showing again.”
“I can’t comment since part of me does want to rush like a greedy teenager.”
Megan kissed his cheek. “Thanks for saying that. Part of me does too.”
“Is that a roundabout way of saying yes?”
She shrugged. “Since you were so clear with the question, shouldn’t I be equally clear with the answer?”
“Please.” Drake forced himself to breathe.
“All right, Drake. Since you asked so nicely then yes, let’s seduce each other.”
“Megan,” he whispered against her lips. The song changed again as the kiss lengthened. Though it remained gentle, it was as potent as it would have been if they’d forgotten where they were and let it turn more passionate. When it ended, Drake urged her cheek to his shoulder. “Picture this. We’ll stay here until the band takes a break. Then we’ll go to my place and turn on something soft so we can dance in the moonlight.”
“On your balcony.”
“Yes. But we’ll light a few candles inside first, so we don’t have any interruptions later.”
“And we’ll kiss too?”
“Definitely. Lots of kissing. All kinds of kissing.”
“All over?”
“Everywhere. At some point we’ll move to the bedroom so we can undress each other while we continue to dance.”
“And kiss.”
“And kiss. We’ll also be caressing each other. I love your soft skin as much as I love to feel your hands on me.”
“Drake,” she sighed into another kiss. “Then what?”
“Then, when we’re both so overwhelmed with desire that we’re trembling, we’ll lie on the bed. We’ll take our time. We’ll touch and kiss until our skin is tingling with anticipation. When we’re ready, I’ll cover you with my body as you urge me between your thighs.”
“I’ll feel you pressing against me, hesitating so we both have a chance to change our minds. But I won’t. I’ll open up even more to show you how much I want you.”
“I’ll see it in your eyes. Without saying a word, you’ll arch your back so your nipples graze my chest. You’ll be so wet.”
“And you’ll be so hard.”
“Slowly, very slowly, slower than you ever thought possible I’ll slide into you.”
“Slowly, yes but you won’t stop until you’re all the way in. You’ll stretch me as you go so you fit but I’ll be so tight around you that I’ll feel every bit of your, uh, your…”
“Say it, Megan. Tell me what your beautiful pussy is going to be wrapped around,” Drake whispered harshly as he licked her ear.
Megan shivered. “Ooh.” She titled her head in invitation. “Your cock.”
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Friday, 3 April 2009

The cultivation of helplessness…

It’s been one of those weeks…

Yesterday, Patrick my car, lost the plot and set the alarm off on me in the car park after work...beep, beep...frigging beep, beep over and bloody over again. Why? Oh who knows? All I did was open the boot (trunk) and toss stuff in. Then I opened the car and got in to drive it – that’s when it spakked out as if I was an intruder. Sod of a thing. “It’s me – Amarinda - you big lug.” Patrick didn’t care so I started yelling at him to shut up. He kept beeping. I turned the car off and pulled out the key. It kept beeping. “What do you want from me I yelled? I have been a work all day! I have problems to burn and now you want to try it on?” I don’t think Patrick is the compassionate sort. This may stem from the fact he has Betty Boop car seat covers and a crystal and a Buddha hanging illegally from the rear-view mirror. But he has to deal with it. I require these things in the car.

Anyway, I got out of the spakking out car and opened the boot and then shut it. I figured Patrick was having an issue with me touching the boot….prissy bloody thing. Sure enough, the beeping stopped carrying on. O-kay. We were both once more calm. I got in the car and started it. Beep-frigging-poxy-beep started again. I did the open shut boot thing again and eventually Patrick shut the hell up. Yeah, but for how long? Since we were both momentarily calm I knew what I had to do. I was forced to get out the car owners manual. It had no help in it at all. Typical. I always knew instructions were a waste of frigging time. After another couple of rounds of beeping and swearing I got out of the car, locked it, paced around and explained “I am not in the mood for this Patrick.” I believe he sensed that by my pissed-offed-ness and that possibly I was going to kick him for when I got back into the car he was purred like a kitten when I turned the key. Just like a man. Make a big song and dance about nothing to get my attention.

Anyway this morning when I got to work various males told me they heard the alarm and watched what I did until it stopped beeping. “Hmm…did you think of helping me?” The response? “No - you look like the capable sort.” Right. Thanks - not. Yes, I am capable and of course I can do everything so no one ever thinks to help me. It’s my own fault. Everyone assumes I am capable. I am thinking about cultivating helplessness…that or get a duck or maybe two for the backyard. How does a duck help me – in any way? Well it doesn’t but then as I said it’s been one of those weeks… a duck can’t hurt surely….
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?