The tax man's bollocks...

So, the Australian Taxation Office and I have been chatting. It’s due to the ridiculous, crapacious, what-the-hell forms they have sent out to me. Because I stupidly work hard for money in the day job and pocket money in the writing gig, they ping me each year to pay tax in advance – you know, just in case I want to use that money for foolish things like living expenses. When the official time to lodge tax forms comes about, they generally have to pay that money back because they’re stupid. Yes. Correct. Standard tax agency behavior worldwide. It's designed to prop out dole bludgers and 16 year old baby making machines so they can buy cigarettes and McDonalds.

Anyway, back to the forms. I sent in a complaint – no, god no, you don’t talk to a government tax employee over the phone. That’s like sticking a fork into your thigh – painful, pointless and you wish you never did it. So, I banged out a complaint basically stating that unless they could explain the convoluted forms they sent out in standard Aussie then I would certainly ‘pay-as-you-go’ but on a schedule that suited me and they could stick their percentages and the adding of A5 to B6 subtracting F12 from C11 to get an answer at Box A that was 47.5% of Box B but not exceeding the subtracted amount at F12 unless it comes under Section 7, sub paragraph C(iii).

So I had two tax chicks ring me back about my response. Neither could explain the forms that were sent. On each call, I explained that was okay and I would pay what and when I think and keep the receipts. I can’t do this apparently – no wait – actually I can if I have the right form. I know, you’re thinking ‘get the right form sent to you’. There is no right form and they are 'working on that' and they have taken my ‘feedback down and appreciate’ my comments. Bollocks.

So, at the end of each call they asked, ‘are you happy with how we handled the complaint?’ No. ‘Can we close the complaint?' No. I expect another call shortly because having once foolishly accepted a Government job years ago, I know they cannot close the complaint until I say so. It’s a touchy-feeling thing that feigns that they care. In the interim, as always, I will do what I want and they can work around me. 

Idiots...

LONDON (Reuters) - Britain said Saturday it would raise the case of a pregnant British woman, who faces the death penalty in Laos if convicted of drug smuggling, when its foreign minister meets the Laotian deputy prime minister next week.

Britain would do what it could to ensure Samantha Orobator, 20, would not face the death penalty if found guilty at the upcoming trial and provide consular help.

British legal charity Reprieve said she was carrying 0.6 kg (1.3lbs) of the drug, an amount that exceeded the statutory minimum for the death penalty in Laos.

http://au.news.yahoo.com/a/-/mp/5538888/pregnant-uk-woman-faces-death-penalty-laos/

Excuse me – but how fucking stupid would you be to take any drugs into any country? What the hell is wrong with these people? Having travelled the world quite a bit I know for a fact there are warnings everywhere you turn about narcotics. If you are dumb enough to do it and you get caught and have to face the laws of that particular country then I cannot see how you believe you should be shown any more mercy than any other bugger. Think before you travel. Just because you are white and from a developed country does not mean you have any more rights than anyone else. No, I don’t think she should be sentenced to death but I damn well think she need to learns a hard lesson – not that I think anyone else of the same stupid ilk will get it. Honest to god who breeds these people?

www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Things not to do….

Epilators (they pull each hair out) are great on your legs but if you want to be able to put your arms at your sides don’t use them on your armpits regardless what the instructions say. Dumb arsed instruction reading – I always knew it would lead to anarchy. I now know how to torture any attacker who is dumb enough to break into my home….I’ll epilate him…

Dislocating your toe…very painful to reset it back – no, don’t try it yourself – I did – but I’m a practiced idiot who believes she can do everything herself - it worked but I swear I saw only white for fifteen minutes due to pain. Now I have a lovely purple foot. Moral of the story? Don’t be in such a crazy rush to go somewhere and watch where you put your feet or you’ll fall arse over head.

Don’t go to the gym with a sore foot. …makes it sorer and limping and sweating just make you look pathetic and smelly.

It’s pointless trying to use the ‘recall message’ facility on email as it never frigging works and the message you didn’t want someone to see – they see – then you never hear the end of why you sent it or why you tried to recall it or why any other bloody thing. Moral of the story – think before sending…actually it’s probably best not to use email when you have sore armpits and a purple foot….actually PMS doesn’t help either… so when you look at like that, none of this is my fault. The universe just hates me at the moment.

That’s it – sore, cranky and pissed at myself….oh well, thank god for chocolate. It never judges you. I'm off to the Sunshine Coast today to inflict my loveliness on another.

www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Where art thou Sunday? Where hast thou gone?

Some comments on Friday's blog...

Are you taking Mervina with you to the country? – Barbara Huffert – um, that would be a big no. She went with a nice man in a cage…she was in the cage…the man was in a car…

Did you know what "Tilly" means in Jamaica? In case not, it means a man's penis. Ashley Ladd….no Ashley but thanks for sharing and I’m sure we’re all a little wiser for that knowledge

I almost feel sorry for poor Minerva, especially if she is part of a couple. You're about to separate her from her one true love. Now he'll have to traverse miles and miles of torturous terrain and overcome odious obstacles to reunite with his soulmate – Jacqueline Roth – Yeah – what a bugger for him.

Back from the country in one piece. It is as dry out west as it is in the city. Quite scary that nothing is green anywhere you go. Let it bucket down rain soon.

Every time I come back from the country I usually have a car boot (trunk) full of produce. I like to drive through the small towns. There is this fancy bypass that misses them all and it only saves 5 minutes. It’s also as boring as all get out and the likelihood of hitting a kangaroo is high a so I prefer to go through the small towns. I also prefer to know, as I drive, that there is civilization close by if the car breaks down. On the bypass there is nothing for kilometers – nor are there roadside fresh produce stands. It’s not unusual for me to come home with whole pumpkins, apples, jams, pickles, honey and whatever else ma and pa are flogging along the roadside. The prices are good and they are more than likely doing it cash in hand so it’s a win for all of use.

Poker machines or pokies as we call them in Queensland – want to speak like a Queenslander? Put an ‘ie’ or an ‘ee’ on the end of words – anyway are pokies boring or what? After having lunch at a local pub on Saturday the people I was lunching with wanted to play the pokies. Now, I’m not adverse to controlled gambling, taking risks or chances – hell that’s what life is all about. But how long can a person sit and play poker machines without being bored to tears? Despite all the congratulatory ‘you’re such a winner’ music and messages those machines play, it’s dead boring pushing a button and watching the little wheels spin around. I don’t get the whole process of free spins and play so many numbers on so many lines. To me, it’s put $10 in and expect to lose it, then walk away. I did actually bankroll my $10 to $30 and cashed out. Apparently this is the wrong thing to do as it could have been a ‘lucky machine’ because I had won $20 already. Possibly, who knows. All I know is its mind numbing playing them. How on earth do people play them all day and not lose their marbles? Anyway, that $20 is now coffee money for the coffee man next week. Sure, I’d like to win big money but I’m not a dedicated pokie player and more importantly nothing it ever that easy and all the feel good messages that machine spouts out will not convince to play on.

Okay – picture the scene…I was chatting to this male acquaintance and this younger woman walked past. His eyes instantly fixated on her. Guess what he said? “Jeez, she’s a big girl.” What was my response? Yes, correct, it wasn’t pretty but damn it I refuse to let people downgrade another in my presence because of the way they look. I explained that to him in most succinct tones. I also pointed out some of his less that model male like features and asked how he felt being compared to a ridiculous ideal of a woman’s fantasy male. What did he say? “I knew the minute I said she was a ‘big girl’, you would go for my throat.” But why say it? I also want to know who judges who is ‘big’ or ‘small’. If a 'petite' sized woman walks past, how many men do you reckon say “jeez that’s a small girl.” I suspect none. So why can we not allow people to just be whatever size and stop putting them into fucking stupid pigeon holes of what is acceptable? If you do this then stop it. If you really believe you can justify this then email me as I would like to know how you can. I personally believe that before you judge another’s looks, first look at yourself and unless you are an exquisite beauty (and even they are flawed in some way) then either think before you speak or shut the fuck up. No one wants your opinion on what you deem is the perfect body because there isn’t one. Yes, this topic makes me mad as hell. And yes, I’ll debate anyone on it. Bring it on…

'Sorry to say I missed the annual Brisbane Zombie walk. What is it?

(Taken from Wikipedia) A zombie walk is an organized public gathering of people who dress up in zombie costumes. Usually taking place in an urban centre, the participants make their way around the city streets and through shopping malls in a somewhat orderly fashion and often limping their way towards a local cemetery or other public space. The earliest zombie walk on record was held in the summer of 2001 in Sacramento California. Zombie walks occur annually the world over, one of the most famous being the Toronto Zombie Walk.
The Brisbane Zombie Walk will take place in Brisbane City, starting off in the Roma St Parklands where participants will amble their way through the city and continue through to Fortitude Valley where there will be an after-party. The walk is purely for fun and for those obsessed with the living dead. Everyone involved in the walk is encouraged to dress up as and act like a zombie, to the shock (and delight) of the unaware public.
http://www.zombiewalkbrisbane.com

This is the walk last year in Brisbane Last year.…click here. I love people who do weird-arsed stuff just because they can. Check these sites out too. You never know when you may have to walk like a zombie and I think it’s nice to know the etiquette.
Terror4Fun Zombie Makeup Guides
Zombie Pub Crawl Makeup Tips
Zombiemaker.com
Cheap Zombie Makeup Tips

Anny is being all wise on her blog…check it out here.

www.freewebs.com/amarindajones/
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Idiots, nitwits, fools...

My boss told me to go home early – you don’t have to tell me twice. So I headed home to find a Promptel tech at my house. It was 4pm. The tech was supposed to be there at 5pm. He said he had tested the line and my phone worked. Well yes, this I know. I said it’s the internet. He said he did not fix that. He was a nice bloke and came inside anyway to see what he could do. I called the supervisor I had been speaking with all week and he told him what had happened. He said he could not believe it. The supervisor was on the point of a nervous breakdown over this Amarinda problem because unlike other customers I do not back down. Anyway the tech left. I explained to the supervisor over the phone that he needed to do something now to fix this. The supervisor said no one else will be out to fix the internet today. I arced up big time. He went into a panic and tried lots of things to fix the problem. After 30 minutes, he said “I guess I could try a specialist area.” I spoke to the specialist area. They fixed the problem in a minute. Of course they did. The specialist guy said this could have been fixed last Friday. Exactly. He was surprised they
had stuffed around so long with it. I’m not. In the interim, Promptel has been throwing money at me all week as shut up money. And yes, I have willingly caught it because my mother raised no fools - but wouldn’t it have been better as a company to have accepted the problem and fixed it and limited the money spent on shutting up the customer? How do these companies make profits? Could you run your own family budget the way they run these enterprises and be in the black? I think not.

The problem with Promptel, and other companies, and remember I have worked in a few, is that they hire contract staff. Now, these contractors are not to blame. They get taught limited stuff and are expected to deal with all sorts of problems they have no knowledge of so the whole thing becomes a shambles as no one takes responsibility as contractors are just their to get paid. I have no issue with that, I get the whole working for money thing. So, in an effort

not to employ permanent, full time staff on award conditions, companies like Promptel hire contractors who they pay stuff all to do the job. No wonder service levels suck.

By the way… the technician who was not supposed to come out, rocked up at 5pm to fix the internet. I said you don't exist and I told him what happened. He said bloody typical of Promptel and that happened all time. He asked if I could sign a sheet to say he was there for 2 hours so he could claim the time…hell yes I will…stuff Promptel.

So…that was my week…what fresh hell will face me next week?

Things not to do…

- I had to iron today. Like anyone in their right mind I hate ironing. I did said ironing and put the shirt on and I notice a wrinkle near the collar. The iron was still barely warmly and I touched it lightly to the fabric and managed to burn myself. Yes, I am an idiot but I still love me.
- Don’t mistake someone’s child as their grandchild…doesn’t matter that the woman hated me anyway…just gives her another reason to hate me more. Stand in line.
- Too much burning of baharath darshan incense makes you woozy. I believe that translates into some sort of drug. Anyone know? I like the smell but it makes me float
- When you put “Deliver to the back door” on an order make sure you specify you have a front door and a back door to your home and draw a picture to show dumb delivery guy that the front door which is at the front of the house is not the back door – which coincidentally is around the back…is it just me or does that seem logical?

Okay – so that’s it – short blog tonight as I have had a long, difficult week dealing with idiots and I plan to zone out with my incense and some wine. Talk to you tomorrow.

Anny and Kelly…who knows what they are up to…go check out their blogs though if you are in the mood.

www.freewebs.com/amarindajones/
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?