Sunday, 26 April 2009

Things not to do….

Epilators (they pull each hair out) are great on your legs but if you want to be able to put your arms at your sides don’t use them on your armpits regardless what the instructions say. Dumb arsed instruction reading – I always knew it would lead to anarchy. I now know how to torture any attacker who is dumb enough to break into my home….I’ll epilate him…

Dislocating your toe…very painful to reset it back – no, don’t try it yourself – I did – but I’m a practiced idiot who believes she can do everything herself - it worked but I swear I saw only white for fifteen minutes due to pain. Now I have a lovely purple foot. Moral of the story? Don’t be in such a crazy rush to go somewhere and watch where you put your feet or you’ll fall arse over head.

Don’t go to the gym with a sore foot. …makes it sorer and limping and sweating just make you look pathetic and smelly.

It’s pointless trying to use the ‘recall message’ facility on email as it never frigging works and the message you didn’t want someone to see – they see – then you never hear the end of why you sent it or why you tried to recall it or why any other bloody thing. Moral of the story – think before sending…actually it’s probably best not to use email when you have sore armpits and a purple foot….actually PMS doesn’t help either… so when you look at like that, none of this is my fault. The universe just hates me at the moment.

That’s it – sore, cranky and pissed at myself….oh well, thank god for chocolate. It never judges you. I'm off to the Sunshine Coast today to inflict my loveliness on another.
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?