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Thursday, 31 May 2012

They don't deserve my goodness...

I spent all day at work writing. There was nothing else to do and I feel sure, had they known, the powers that be, would have been happy I was so productive. See? I was really only doing it for them.

I should get paid more…

Wednesday, 30 May 2012

I Like Turtles....exactly...turtles rule!

Tuesday, 29 May 2012

Where ideas come from...



So, these are the latest inspiration for the story I'm almost finished writing. Not real exciting to look at? No, but everything has a story don't it?

Monday, 28 May 2012

Re-invention....

We keep reinventing ourselves--or die. And I'm not ready for that ~Anny Cook.

www.annycook.com

Exactly...


Now we need a reality check for romance books....

Saturday, 26 May 2012

Highlight of today...

...other than talking about the building of the Chicken Mahal with a good friend, was finding my skipping rope. Yep, life happens when you least expect it...

Friday, 25 May 2012

She who dares wins…


So, at work yesterday I emailed the head of the corporate beast that is lucky to employ me for a donation to Relay for Life. I was warned not to because he's very, very, very, twelve times over too busy and too, amazingly, stunningly, oh-my-god-wait-a-second-he-could-be-god important to deal with the likes of me and I'd made a HUGE mistake that could get me in trouble and uh-oh spaghetti-o.  

Well, I look at it this way, the Jones family motto is ‘if you don’t ask you don’t get.’ Besides I asked him the same thing that I asked everyone else and that was to donate $5.00 to our team sponsorship. Get it? Everyone else. He’s just a person – an everyone.  

Did I get money? Yeah baby. She who dares wins.   

Thursday, 24 May 2012

Wonderment…



I had two people respond to my general posts about sponsoring our team on Relay to Life where the donations all go to cancer research and aid for sufferers. Now, if you want to sponsor us – fantastic – if not – that’s fine. It’s your choice. In life we strive for freedom of choice, association and to be.  

Back to those two people – the first sent me a long winded email which essentially said that all charities are bogus, cancer didn't exist because it's all a conspiracy and they sent me a bunch of internet links to verify what they were saying. I filed it under d for delete – your choice to believe, mine to delete. Then I had a person from the US who said they would not donate to help an Aussie – or any other nationality for that matter – because that took away from curing people of cancer in the US first. Riiight...clearly, global issue is not in this individual’s repertoire of thought.      

Have I mentioned choice in this post? Why yes I have. Email me with neurotic ramblings? Save yourself the time and just delete after you write it – it’s just the same as me doing it.     

Wednesday, 23 May 2012

Love or degradation? Hmmm?


So, I was wandering through Big W( like Kmart) at lunchtime when I saw Fifty Shades Darker, the follow up to the very successful Fifty Shades of Gray, book on sale. Apparently, speaking to one of the staff members there, they have restocked this book several times.  I walked away thinking to myself  What does this say about women?” that they would buy such a sado-masochistic book that’s all about extreme sex that is saturated with degradation, submission, obsession and pain? Sure, there would be a small percentage of women who want to be shocked, outraged or titillated so they buy the book for that. But the rest? It could be argued that it’s because secretly a large percentage of women want to be controlled or dominated or treated like crap by a man or maybe the diatribe that are we more sexually liberated so we read stuff like this because we can. Either way I can’t help but feel it must be getting harder and harder for a man to work out what a woman wants. Force? Pain? Love? Romance? Denial? Bondage? Humiliation? Submission? Forever? I can’t help but think fondly of the good old Mills and Boon days where no one but the bad guy got hurt and the heroine slapped the hero occasionally. 

Tuesday, 22 May 2012

Drunken pinata players...


So, I was sitting at my desk today and three people stumbled by the outside window all wearing blindfolds. Huh. Not something you see everyday. I watched them stumble into the garage bins and then rebound off a parked car before one landed in the weed filled garden out the front. Two seconds later 3 non-blindfolded people rushed after them. Now, I should point out that the office next door to us does training in all sorts of subjects. I have no idea what the blindfolded thing was about unless it as to do with trust and frankly that would be a big fail considering three blindfolded people busted loose by themselves and went walkabout. They were caught and ushered back into the other office. I sat down and thought to myself ‘you know, this could be some strange sexual fetish going on next door or slave traffickers or just really drunk people looking for a pi├▒ata.’ Then I thought eh, whatever turns others on I say.


Remember it's only $5.00 to get us closer to a cure for cancer.

Monday, 21 May 2012

H364...


Because the engine spakked out in my almost new car and had to be replaced, I had to go into Queensland Transport and let them know about the new change of engine because it affected my car registration. So I went there. It’s a feral little pace where the great unwashed seem to hang out. I have never smelled so much body odour in my life. It’s also a place of forms. I had been told over the phone to go in and get a 2543 form that dealt with the spakking out of engines. There was no form 2543  in the three long benches of forms . I figured I’d go form-less and wing it when I got to the handing the form over stage. I went over and did the touch screen thing to get a queue number. Problem. None of the touch screen icons dealt with a spakked out motor so I elected for ‘special and sundry'  because I am both.

Ever walked across a crowded room where everyone is holding a form but you aren’t and several of the great unwashed stop you and explain you need a form and you in turn want to explain they need deodorant but you don’t because there are three dozen smelly people to your one perfumed personage and while the odds against you getting out alive don’t bother you it’s having that smelliness rubbed off on you that does. So I sat and waited for H364 to be called amongst a sea of smelly, yet form carrying people. Thirty minutes later I get the call. H364 to counter 12. At the counter the woman looked at me and says ‘You don’t have a form.’ I explain to her that I’m special and sundry and there wasn’t a form for that or a spakked out engine replacement. Then I smiled that helpless woman smile I keep for special times like this. She nodded and said ‘well, you need form 2543.’  Correct.  She had to go into the back room where this special form was. She then watched as I filled out the form. Is that the new engine number? Most probably. Are you sure? I’m 50-50 on it. Is there a plastic seal on the engine? I don’t know. I don’t look at the engine. You’ll have to go see Narelle out the back. Because I don’t know if the engine has a plastic cover? Yes. Take your car to her and she will assess if she can see the new number. So, after I drive around the wrong way twice, I find Narelle. I got tut-tutted due to the driving in the wrong way. Yes, I know, I’m incorrigible but not smelly Narelle so count yourself lucky.

Then the orders came – open the hood, stand over there, can you see this? No, I’m 50 feet away from you. Come here. Look. That’s your engine number. My response? Well, isn’t that nice and shiny. She questioned did I look at the new engine they put in? Narelle, I never looked at the old one until it was gushing oil all over Buchan Street.  Narelle is unsure what to day. I get that a lot.  She looked at the engine. I looked at the engine. She looked at me. I looked at her.  She scribbled something down and handed me a form. Keep this form. It’s important. Righty-o.  Can't have enough H364 moments...


What Can You Do With 5 Dollars?



$5.00 can make a huge difference. When will I shut up about raising money to fight cancer? Probably never.

 

Sunday, 20 May 2012

Wall of thought...

So, I spent 6 and a bit hours painting the fence. It’s a bloody looooong fence. Picture the Great Wall of China but smaller and made of wood…okay, it’s really nothing like the Great Wall of China but it’s a pretty swell wall the frames the rainforest a nanosecond from my house. I don’t mind painting. It’s good thinking time because it’s quiet and there are no interruptions. I thought about a lot of stuff that was on my mind from the trivial to the big life questions. Looks? Meh. Weight? Whatever. Men? Go fish. Work? So many lessons still to impart on those men. Writing? Ongoing but less desperate. Running? Only when I choose to. Negative people out of my life? Check. Positive people in? As long as they refrain from doing smiley faces on emails. Breathing? Definitely. Accepting less than my due? Nuh-uh. Comments on the blog that tell me that I empowered someone? Priceless.


Relay for Life - It is a unique event where teams of 10 to 15 challenge themselves to take turns to keep a baton moving in a relay style walk or run overnight…I expect we’ll be running as we’re bootcampers and apparently invincible…but that’s okay. It’s so little to ask to help those with cancer. ‘Got a spare $5?  Please consider donating to our team…I promise we will do 10 – dreaded – shudder – puke – burpees – on your behalf.



Saturday, 19 May 2012

Relay For Life: Who will you Relay for?



Hello...I'm going to join my fellow bootcampers and do an 18 hour baton relay in support of Relay for Life. If you can spare even $5 to sponsor me and help fight cancer I know those with cancer will appreciate it. Please click on the link below - yes, my real name is Janet - Dammit Janet - and please do what you can. Ta muchly.  
http://qld.cancercouncilfundraising.org.au/personalPage.aspx?registrationID=469674&langPref=en-CA&Referrer=http%3a%2f%2fco121w.col121.mail.live.com%2fmail%2fInboxLight.aspx%3fn%3d1265375859

Friday, 18 May 2012

Finally...


…it’s Friday arvo and wine o’clock. To everyone – blue collar, white collar, no collar - who go out every day and puts the hard yards in at jobs they hate or tolerate or simply use to pay the never ending bills – it’s wine o’clock relax, recuperate and golly gee we can do it all again next week. To those who are now sniffing and saying “you at least have a job” I say bugger off, thank you very much. I've done my time. 


Thursday, 17 May 2012

May...


May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house ~ George Carlin

Wednesday, 16 May 2012

Just so wrong...

I saw this when I was out shopping today. How is this trashy bag hot and why on earth would any real woman aspire to be like her? Sucked, tucked, filled, pumped and nipped? How is that hot? And that she is advertising diet products? Just so wrong...

Tuesday, 15 May 2012

No photos please...


So, I’m not a fan of having my photo taken. Why? I’m just not. Maybe it’s psychological – maybe I’m just psycho. Anyway, today at work they wanted a team photo. I declined. “But we’re a team.”  Er, no, we’re not. We’re a bunch of people who turn up to the same place every day to get paid.  Sure, we dress alike but that’s due to the fact that it’s a hell of a lot easier wearing a uniform to work than wearing your own clothes. “But you have to.” Er, no, I don’t. “So you’re not going to?” No. “Really?” Really truly madly deeply with rainbow sprinkles on top. “But it won’t be the same without you.”  Yes, it will. “How?” Because you’re all grown-ups who have the ability to rise above this grave disappointment in your lives and forge on to have fulfilling destinies, climb mountains, cross raging rapids and defy the fates, while laughing at the concept of limiting yourself and vowing to live to fight another day, bloodied and bruised by this experience yet knowing you are stronger and wiser for the fact I will not be in your bloody photo. See? Work relations are easy.  

Monday, 14 May 2012

Nice...


I was working on a story at work in work time basically because I could. Anyway, I was writing about these characters and their feelings and the first time and I thought back to my first time. I was a pathetic, nervous wreck because I’m not good at doing up close and personal things. The lovely man who was with me was sweet, patient and bossy. I still smile when I think about it. I think that’s a good enough reason to do stuff in work time don't you?

Sunday, 13 May 2012

From now on you’ll be known as the writer called X …


Okay, so there’s this singer called Adele who is world famous and has sold a gazillion CDs and has won numerous awards for what she does. She’s famous despite what some ebook writers may tell you. Then there’s another Adele who writes ebooks and I’m sure has a solid following of readers but essentially she’s not a JK Rowling but then who is in this business? 

So, Sony who contracts the singer Adele and I reckon never knew that other Adele existed until a mass search of the name was probably done on Google, filed a complaint against our ebook writer saying cease and desist – or -  tell us why you are using the name Adele – depending on what version you read. This information then went viral in the ebook writing community and many heels were stamped in outrage.

Seriously Sony? What’s the point? Do you really think the mega rich and famous singer Adele would give a toss one way or the other? It’s not like our girl Adele is any competition for her is it?  Should the writer fight it? Yeah, if what I’m hearing is correct. I’m not sure how ‘outraged’ I’m supposed to be at this story. Insisting I ‘must be’ is not going to create my outrage. I’d like more information before that happens. 

Saturday, 12 May 2012

Pot Me Not...


I had a friend say to me that he was going to set me up with – let’s call him Max. My friend looked at me like this was a logical idea and he explained the reason why Max and I should be set up together – we’re apparently exactly the same kind of person. I listened politely to my friend all the time thinking how little we know other people sometimes. Anyway, once he had finished the reasons why Max and I were an obvious couple, I asked him why did he think I needed matching up? Why would I want someone exactly like me? Did Max want matching up? And why did he need to match either of us up? While, intentions can be pure, sweet and caring, intentions are often misguided. Yes, the old analogy that there is a ‘lid to every pot’ is quaint and often true, it doesn’t mean all single people are out to get potted. And why, do people who are already in coupledom need to inflict it on single people? Often, there are bloody good reasons why some people are single. They want to be. They can get by on their own and they aren't scared of doing so.

Pot me?  No thanks. I’m doing fine and if Max is anything like me, I bet he is too. If the spirit so moves us towards another it's because it's meant to be and not arranged and not under the influence of finding a lid.  

Friday, 11 May 2012

Straddlers....


I went to a friend’s workplace for lunch. It’s a factory and within the factory is the standard bouffy-boys, kicked in lunch room. It’s not glamorous but having worked in factory environments it didn’t surprise me. My friend, to his due, warned me there would be pictures of naked women on the walls. Again, no surprise. Men are visual creatures. I doubt hardly any of them faced with one of these silicon women straddling various objects in real life would really know what to do with them anyway. 

Anyway, as I sat and ate my sandwich and chatted to my friend I looked at the nekkid women. Oh yeah, they were pretty trashy looking. Was I jealous or offended? Nope. Nothing to be envious of and as for offense at these women being viewed as sexual objects? I could have declined going into that lunchroom when first advised of said nekkid women but I’m sure of who I am as a woman so I’m not given to hysterical rad fem tantrums. Besides I can straddle stuff if I wanted to. The thing that I thought about with these women was that in twenty years time they’re going to look like the rest of us. Older, saggier and probably more wrinkled due to sun damage to their carefully tanned bodies. I asked my friend did seeing these same static women on the wall day after day after day in the same poses actually turn men on? He said no. They were just like wallpaper. So the question then is why bother having these straddlers on the wall? What’s the point? Is it to reaffirm testosterone levels on a daily basis?

Thursday, 10 May 2012

Cranky otters...


So, on yesterday’s post I was a tad pissed off at a certain car company and I let them know it. They rang me first thing this morning. Yes, yes and yes Ms Jones you are right. We have done wrong. We want to flay every inch of skin from our bodies in penance. We will cross burning sands balancing a pencil on our nose while a carryng a cranky otter wearing a top hat on our backs. See? Complaining isn’t hard. It’s an artform. Learn it. Master it. Find your voice and use it.

Wednesday, 9 May 2012

The don’t fuck with me phase…


So my car, Verity, is still not fixed and while I was patient to a point, that point has now passed and any modicum of reasonableness I had has disappared and I am now in the seriously do not fuck with me phase that has been known to make grown men cry. I banged off the first salvo today in a letter to pretty much the whole of Hyundai and local government members in Cairns. I have given them a deadline til tomorrow. I’m reasonable like that. After that I take this up the chain until people are screaming at other people to give that bitch what she wants. Oh yeah, it will happen. How do I know this? I come from a long time of people who have the persistence to work their way through the shite and cause maximum trouble to get what I want. Will I get what I want? Oh yeah. Will balls be shrivelled due to this? Not my problem. While I accept some engines can be lemons I will take only so much of ‘we will fix it asap Ms Jones’ bollocks.

The question is...do you feel lucky Hyundai? Well do ya, punk? 








Tuesday, 8 May 2012

Bought snake proof…


chicken wire today. Thirty metres of it.  Heavy as all get out. No, I don’t think anyone can really top that. Life. It just happens don’t it?   


Monday, 7 May 2012

Trevor

…the goose. I bought that in Adelaide, along with Wonder Woman bright yellow pyjamas, panda bear coffee mugs and 2 shiny, heavy horseshoes that a blacksmith gave me. Really, what more can you ask for in life?

Friday, 4 May 2012

One ponders...


....why there are no pander shape-shifters in ebook romance. Random pics of the panda at Adelaide Zoo.

Thursday, 3 May 2012

And now, some random Adelaide pics...







...walked my flat feet off today scoping out Adelaide. Definitely a city to visit. Great old buildings, gardens, shopping....pukeable weather but c'est la vie. Tomorrow the Adelaide Zoo to take a squiz at the pandas...but for now...random photos...

Wednesday, 2 May 2012

So I’m off to….

 
Adelaide, South Australia. It’s about a three hour plane trip from Cairns. Why am I going? Why not? I saw a cheap fare and I knew another long weekend was coming up – I love Australia – land of the long weekend – and I thought ‘Bugger it, I’ll go.” I’ve never been to Adelaide.  I’m looking forward to scoping it out. Problem is it’s supposed to be cold. Hmmm….must find winter undies…  

Tuesday, 1 May 2012

Knackered....