Where art thou Sunday? Where hast thou gone?

Some comments on Friday's blog...

Are you taking Mervina with you to the country? – Barbara Huffert – um, that would be a big no. She went with a nice man in a cage…she was in the cage…the man was in a car…

Did you know what "Tilly" means in Jamaica? In case not, it means a man's penis. Ashley Ladd….no Ashley but thanks for sharing and I’m sure we’re all a little wiser for that knowledge

I almost feel sorry for poor Minerva, especially if she is part of a couple. You're about to separate her from her one true love. Now he'll have to traverse miles and miles of torturous terrain and overcome odious obstacles to reunite with his soulmate – Jacqueline Roth – Yeah – what a bugger for him.

Back from the country in one piece. It is as dry out west as it is in the city. Quite scary that nothing is green anywhere you go. Let it bucket down rain soon.

Every time I come back from the country I usually have a car boot (trunk) full of produce. I like to drive through the small towns. There is this fancy bypass that misses them all and it only saves 5 minutes. It’s also as boring as all get out and the likelihood of hitting a kangaroo is high a so I prefer to go through the small towns. I also prefer to know, as I drive, that there is civilization close by if the car breaks down. On the bypass there is nothing for kilometers – nor are there roadside fresh produce stands. It’s not unusual for me to come home with whole pumpkins, apples, jams, pickles, honey and whatever else ma and pa are flogging along the roadside. The prices are good and they are more than likely doing it cash in hand so it’s a win for all of use.

Poker machines or pokies as we call them in Queensland – want to speak like a Queenslander? Put an ‘ie’ or an ‘ee’ on the end of words – anyway are pokies boring or what? After having lunch at a local pub on Saturday the people I was lunching with wanted to play the pokies. Now, I’m not adverse to controlled gambling, taking risks or chances – hell that’s what life is all about. But how long can a person sit and play poker machines without being bored to tears? Despite all the congratulatory ‘you’re such a winner’ music and messages those machines play, it’s dead boring pushing a button and watching the little wheels spin around. I don’t get the whole process of free spins and play so many numbers on so many lines. To me, it’s put $10 in and expect to lose it, then walk away. I did actually bankroll my $10 to $30 and cashed out. Apparently this is the wrong thing to do as it could have been a ‘lucky machine’ because I had won $20 already. Possibly, who knows. All I know is its mind numbing playing them. How on earth do people play them all day and not lose their marbles? Anyway, that $20 is now coffee money for the coffee man next week. Sure, I’d like to win big money but I’m not a dedicated pokie player and more importantly nothing it ever that easy and all the feel good messages that machine spouts out will not convince to play on.

Okay – picture the scene…I was chatting to this male acquaintance and this younger woman walked past. His eyes instantly fixated on her. Guess what he said? “Jeez, she’s a big girl.” What was my response? Yes, correct, it wasn’t pretty but damn it I refuse to let people downgrade another in my presence because of the way they look. I explained that to him in most succinct tones. I also pointed out some of his less that model male like features and asked how he felt being compared to a ridiculous ideal of a woman’s fantasy male. What did he say? “I knew the minute I said she was a ‘big girl’, you would go for my throat.” But why say it? I also want to know who judges who is ‘big’ or ‘small’. If a 'petite' sized woman walks past, how many men do you reckon say “jeez that’s a small girl.” I suspect none. So why can we not allow people to just be whatever size and stop putting them into fucking stupid pigeon holes of what is acceptable? If you do this then stop it. If you really believe you can justify this then email me as I would like to know how you can. I personally believe that before you judge another’s looks, first look at yourself and unless you are an exquisite beauty (and even they are flawed in some way) then either think before you speak or shut the fuck up. No one wants your opinion on what you deem is the perfect body because there isn’t one. Yes, this topic makes me mad as hell. And yes, I’ll debate anyone on it. Bring it on…

'Sorry to say I missed the annual Brisbane Zombie walk. What is it?

(Taken from Wikipedia) A zombie walk is an organized public gathering of people who dress up in zombie costumes. Usually taking place in an urban centre, the participants make their way around the city streets and through shopping malls in a somewhat orderly fashion and often limping their way towards a local cemetery or other public space. The earliest zombie walk on record was held in the summer of 2001 in Sacramento California. Zombie walks occur annually the world over, one of the most famous being the Toronto Zombie Walk.
The Brisbane Zombie Walk will take place in Brisbane City, starting off in the Roma St Parklands where participants will amble their way through the city and continue through to Fortitude Valley where there will be an after-party. The walk is purely for fun and for those obsessed with the living dead. Everyone involved in the walk is encouraged to dress up as and act like a zombie, to the shock (and delight) of the unaware public.
http://www.zombiewalkbrisbane.com

This is the walk last year in Brisbane Last year.…click here. I love people who do weird-arsed stuff just because they can. Check these sites out too. You never know when you may have to walk like a zombie and I think it’s nice to know the etiquette.
Terror4Fun Zombie Makeup Guides
Zombie Pub Crawl Makeup Tips
Zombiemaker.com
Cheap Zombie Makeup Tips

Anny is being all wise on her blog…check it out here.

www.freewebs.com/amarindajones/
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

'Got to laugh or scream or maybe sit in a corner and rock...

Mad About Mirabelle – review

I’m sure if you’ve read any of my previous reviews of this Australian wonder, you know I’m a die hard fan of Amarinda Jones. Mad About Mirabelle is just one more to add to the “Things I love about this author” list. The enthusiasm in which her latest couple engaged in carnal sports was not only exciting but hilariously funny. Talk about two energizer bunnies. Flynn and Mirabelle had to be out of their clothing more than in. I love couples who are able to smile and laugh as they get to know each other. Appreciation of life is so evident in Ms. Jones’ characters that you fall in love with them immediately. Anyone who loves to smile while enjoying desire won’t want to miss this latest morsel from an author who continues to bring as much fun as she does desire to her work.

http://www.joyfullyreviewed.com/reviews/May08/
madaboutmirabelle.AJ.html

‘Got home last night and there was a card in my mailbox from Promptel that said “Service checked and everything working fine now.” Uh huh…I went inside and guess what? No dial tone – that was new – it was just the internet that was not working before – now the phone line was dead. I laughed my arse off….wankers… Saturday and the new connection to the rival company cannot come fast enough. So - off the topic of the as-useful-as-a-chocolate-fireguard-company aka Promptel. If you are an Aussie and want to know which company this is – email me and I’ll tell you who to avoid.

There is this big debate in Queensland at the moment – actually two – one is about a 64 year old child killer who is in hospital in a coma. This woman stood by as her mongrel dog of a husband raped a teenage girl then they both stabbed her to death. People are pissed – and rightly so in my less than humble opinion - that we are spending public money trying to keep this child killer alive. And no, the argument that she is a human does not wash in this case. She is lower than pond scum and doesn’t deserve a peaceful death. I truly hope there is a special hell for sub human people like this. Forgiveness for crimes like this? Never.

The other debate – the drought – the damn levels are dropping back down as no rain. People are now saying ‘why did the government have that day back in March where everyone could use water to do what ever they wanted to do with it for an hour?’ For those who don’t know, in south-east Queensland, we have been on water restrictions for yonks – yonks is a long time – do you use that as a time reference – yonks? We’re not supposed to use more than 140 litres of water a day and showers are cut down to 4 minutes. Though I did not participate in the use water for an hour however you like thing, it happened, and yes maybe it was crazy but we can’t be bitching about something that has happened. To my mind it goes into the shoulda-woulda-coulda pile of stuff that we need to move on from.

Dr Gozgo Zongo, apparently my good friend, sent me an email this morning. What did he want? First he asked if he could ‘trust me.’ Wow, that really made me feel special. Then he just asked that I send him $1000 so he could invest it into a new venture with me as his partner. What is it? Hmmm, not sure. Gozgo was a bit vague on that. Will I send money? Um, let me think…oh hell no. Who names these people and more to the point who would send Gozgo money? How many people do you reckon actually believe this shite?

For the past couple of days the coffee man who comes to our workplace has been most concerned about me. No coffee for Amarinda? Is she okay? Has she quit work? Is she on holidays? He was pleased to hear I was just ill and the thought of coffee was pukeable to me. As an old work acquaintance of mine, let’s call him Cedric, used to say, “I could puke all over someone’s shoes.” Okay, to be honest, Cedric said this a lot even when he wasn’t sick. He was a bit of a queen. So where was I? Yes – sick - miss a couple of days of an addiction and people begin to worry, not about you personally, but more about feeding your addiction. I suppose that’s sweet in its own, strange way. Beware the coffee pushers for they are truly divine…

Came home and cleaned this afternoon after work. No, I’m not sure either what possessed me. Maybe it was the home made cherry ripe slice that I bought at lunch time as I felt crap with this dry cough thing I now have – but I cleaned the house. Amazing, Grace. I do believe chocolate has restorative powers. What is a Cherry Ripe? It’s the nectar of the gods I tell you.

Someone sent me this long list of rules for something today via email…oh hard… I just deleted it as why piss yourself off with reading such officious tripe? Blessed be the rule makers as they need all the help that can get for removing sticks from their…er…anatomy.

So tell me – do you think Hillary Clinton ever had a chance of winning the Presidential nomination? My personal belief is that no matter how kick arse Hillary is she still doesn’t have a penis and there is a mindset against voting a woman in for the top job. Sure, political commentators can spruik on about how she has ‘balls’ but why does a strong, smart woman have to be perceived to have the suggestion of male appendage to be taken serious? We may have come along way baby but it isn’t far enough and what’s in your pants still rules.

So, have you checked out Anny and Kelly’s blogs? I am sure they are doing something very authorial..not sure, that could be a made up word. I’ll put it in my next manuscript and see if my editor has an opinion on it.

www.freewebs.com/amarindajones/
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?