Rack off Lancelot….

So, I had this man tell me today that he basically saved me. Uh huh... really? How so Lancelot? If you believe his dramatic take on events – which I don’t but I am thinking of using in a book – he fell on his sword for me. Oh honey, if you fall on your sword you’re just plain clumsy and don’t tell me it was in the name of gallantry. I never needed saving and frankly I was just doing fine without you.

This man had his own agenda and for some reason he thought I would be all grateful to him for this piss weak venture into soap opera fiction on my behalf…hmmm…I don’t think so. Don’t get me wrong – if someone helps me or stands by me I have this mafia like loyalty to them forever but try to dazzle me with bullshit and I’ll call you on it – which I did today and gee, no, he didn’t try to save me at all….but that’s another blog.

You know, I like men…they’re this odd species that we deal and live with and find strangely compelling to watch and listen to sometimes. But no woman needs a Lancelot. We can save ourselves. If we need help we’ll ask. And no woman needs a man telling them he charged in to save her cellulite arse when there was no danger to it at all. Is it a need a man has to receive gratitude and be praised? If so put the toilet seat down, Lancelot...good boy.

www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book

I don't think so....

So, someone tried to bribe me today. They said - “If I give you a gift will you make something happen for me?” Hmmm, no, I’m not related to the godfather and while occasionally I have power to disperse, this obvious bribe made me smile. Was it a life or death thing? No. It was some pissy little thing that required changing a date that could not be changed anyway. What was the bribe – I mean ‘gift’? A whole $50.00. Like super model Linda Evangelista I have a price to get out of bed and $50 ain't gonna do it, sweetie darling.

I have to wonder how successful bribes really are. You give someone $50 to do something for you. The person takes it and does stuff all. In the meantime you’re expecting something to happen for your money and when it doesn’t what come back have you got? The person you bribed is hardly going to admit taking the $50 and you’re just going to look like a nong.

I have been bribed before. I always enjoy it. How people’s minds work fascinates me. Have I ever taken the cash? Oh hell no, I’m expensive to buy.

www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book