I was at work today trying to track down some freight. I rang
the freight company and lodged a where-the-fuck-is-our-stuff enquiry. The lady on
the other end of the line asked me to describe what was in the boxes. I rattled
off the contents and finished with and 100 calico bags. She asked 'What’s calico?' I said
its fabric. She said ‘I’m not following you.’ I said material. ‘In what way is
it material?’ Okay. Cloth, I ventured. She said 'I don’t understand.' I said what are
your clothes made of? She said ‘they’re made out of clothing.’ Okay, I then
said ‘cloth’ is the first part of clothing. She said ‘I’m just not understanding
you. Please spell cloth and calico.’ No
really, seriously. So I spelled the words out. She put a request to find the mysterious
cloth and I ended the call and thought there are some seriously scary people are out there…
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