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Showing posts with label temping. Show all posts
Showing posts with label temping. Show all posts

Monday, 10 March 2014

In the state of what-the-fuckery...

 
So life has been very weird, complex, difficult, different and sporadic for a while. But that happens. It's probably all to do with the tides, the moon, what colour undies you're wearing, what fruit is in season, the job market and complex stuff like that. It's been trying. But I also keep trying purely because as annoying as life can be, I can be more so.
 
Jobs have been weirdly sporadic and since being made redundant last year, I've done a lot of diverse things. I'm flexible like that. You wanna pay me? Sure I'll turn up. No, I'm not much fussed what I do for the money because I'm sure I'll be able to do it because like any hired gun flexibility is the key and hell, longevity is not an issue. Like Darth McVader above. Give me a moment and I'm sure I can take a crack at the unicycle thing. As for bagpipes? How hard can they be? 
I got a call from the temp agency today to do some work this week and next. It's essentially telling people where to go. You know - directions - go left, go right, go to the far queue. I said - sure, no worries. One day I may get a real job but due to this cycle of what-the-fuckery that I find myself in, I can be a temporary person once more. Pay me and it shall be.
 

Thursday, 5 December 2013

Gap money...


So, one temp job finishes tomorrow. I got rung up by another company to come in for a look see for another temp job – you know they want to have a quick look at you to see you don’t have two heads. I went, sat, chatted and had only one horrible moment as to which resume they were reading from and what constructive and descriptive info I had given. I have my real resume that lists every job I have ever done and it makes me on one hand, look flighty and on the other ‘very experienced.’ Resume two is a combo of experience and serious commitment. Resume version 3 is the dedicated individual committed to working hard - ydah, ydah, ydah. It depends on the company who I send what to or who has referred me on to them and which version they are holding onto and what I will say. Thank god I’m a great tap dancer when it comes to truth and fiction and can cover my arse at any given moment.

This new temp job is for a short contract. That suits me because essentially I’m going to use them to get paid money and then leave them, of course very upset that I have to - look sincere as I say it – because I'm 95% certain I have this other full time job done and dusted and I need what I call gap money in the interim.


Yes, the machinations of my mind often exhaust me…

Wednesday, 4 December 2013

Pistols at dawn....


So, at the temp job, which finishes Friday and I’m not at all upset as it’s the most anal place on the planet with the laziest people AKA public service, I have to input these invoices into the computer. Yeah. It’s a no brainer and boring as all get out but being a temp means you’re like a hooker. Pay me for that and I’ll do it. I may not do it well or find it interesting but I’m just doing it for the dosh so don't expect any great emotion, buddy.

Anyway, with the invoices you sit and type in all this crap into the boxes on screen that has to have crap typed into them. I had done a bazillion of these, and was going brain dead, when it occurred to me that in a batch that I had done and just come back from the accounts payable people – I have never met an interesting accounts payable person - they’re a dreary lot whose worlds are ruled by anal rules and the words ‘should’ and ‘shouldn’t’. I counter this with ‘why not?’ which drives them insane, which I admit I enjoy doing. Where was I? Oh yeah,  so in the batch that came back – picture me typing them in, sending to accounts payable. They type something on the invoices and send then back to me where I’m supposed to receipt them and send them back to them where they probably stamp them 7 times and then file them and someone in 30 years will say ‘what a load of bollocks’ and chuck them out. Ah, public service. So I pointed out in an email a double up of a certain invoice - my error, which they should have picked up - and I said it needed to be cancelled. This caused, let’s call him – Miron – from accounts to have a conniption fit.

We can’t just cancel things
What? You don’t know how?
(insert horrified gasp) That’s not the point. We don’t ever do it.
Why not? It’s a mistake. I made it.
You shouldn’t have made it
Well, you didn’t pick it up in the back and forward crap between us you lot do.
(sucking in of air through clenched teeth). Were you paying attention to what you were doing?
(Me contemplating personal emails, phone calls and personal internet done during work time)  Sure. Absolutely. More than likely. Probably. The thing is Miron it needs to be fixed.
This is so troublesome.
(Troublesome?) Yes, I’m sure it is. If you want to meet me for pistols at dawn and we duel it out then fine but accounts wise you should cancel a double up as you will pay twice and that seems more troublesome.
Oh dear, oh dear…
Miron, get a grip man. Tell me how to cancel it. My ID will be against it and everyone can blame me and I won’t give a crap.
Oh dear, oh dear…
Yeah. Whatever. How do I cancel it?
I’m not sure.
(I knew it) Okay, well there’s this big red X up in the toolbar. I’m gonna click on that. Either it will cancel it or we all die.
Don’t!!!!
Too late. Oh, lookie, the invoice is gone. Do you now get a notification that it's deleted and do you send it to me and I send it back to you with a stamp on it? Then you stamp it and.... 
When do you leave?
Come on Miron, you’ll miss me. You know you will.




Tuesday, 1 October 2013

And it's nifty...


So, I’m doing this temping job gig working in an office where they deal with stuff to do with cars, trucks and mechanical type things. Anyway, I get to deal with people dropping off and picking up said mechanical things. I also put their orders in for their mechanical things to have whatever mechanical things need to be done mechanically to them. No – god no – I have no idea about cars let alone trucks.  I look blank a lot of the time and use the microphone in the office to call out to the workshop to ask a mechanical person to come into the office – i.e – “Harry come to the office. Mechanical things to discuss. Harry to the office.”


And there there’s all the coding to the right mechanical area. And no, it’s not logical like – e = electrical, m = mechanical, t = tyres…you get the drift.  It’s ‘this is a flange so it goes under G.’ Why? I dunno. A Valve replacement? It’s an E. Tyres? An O. Okay, I know what you’re thinking ‘cause I thought it too. Tyres are round and an O is round.  Nope, that’s wrong. It’s an O because it’s an O. “Don’t you know anything about cars, Amarinda?” Well, yeah, of course. Mine is lime green. It has a flowery steering wheel cover and it’s pretty damn nifty. What else is there to know?   

Saturday, 22 January 2011

Gun for hire...



I’ve been doing the temping gig for the moment when it comes to jobs. There’s a long involved story with that but it involves a chicken, a balloon, a safety pin, an ice pick and a jar of pistachios…it’s all very boring. Anyway, as with temping you’re jumping from job to job, learning lots but really not giving a rat’s arse as you’re a hired gun and like all mercenaries it’s all about the dollars.

The latest temp job? It’s temp but it will probably go to permanent. Hmmm…not sure how I feel about that. Why? I explained how insane, frustrating and disorganized the place was to my father and he said, “Well, they’re accountants. They’re not like real people.” Correct. The thing with this mob is no one seems to know what is going on at any time. They hand me work to do but don’t show me how to use the unfamiliar database and when I ask how to use it they say they’re not sure as it’s ‘only new’. I asked how long had it been in place? Three years was the response. Riiight…so I wander on into the database, bang in data and assume if the entire system doesn’t crash it’s probably okay.

Hmmm…they also don’t speak. No one talks. I find that odd – or if they do they talk in whispers and usually in the ladies bathroom. I heard whispering in the end stall of the ladies loos and like any woman worth my salt I stuck my head under the divide – no they couldn’t see me – and I spotted three pairs of feet all in the one stall. Menage sex or gossip?

So, I’m basically putting my time sheets in so I get paid and doing what I can with the limitations that I have. No one checks anything I’ve done and I reckon that’s due to the fact that no one knows what is the right thing to do. To me, it’s an office of people hiding out from real life. Will I stay if I get offered a permanent position? Hmmm…let’s just say I’m assessing my options.

Amarinda Jones
Penn Halligan
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
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