Shovelling it...

 

So, I’ve been digging up part of the backyard and laying pavers basically because Laverne, Dulcie and Ursula – my chooks – have a fondness for digging up the area directly where I walk. They’re bad buggers. Anyway, I decided to thwart them and pave the area in question hence the digging. They’ve been scratching around and clucking in derision at this because it’s their backyard and they’re the only ones who like to dig. I have explained to them the too bad, so sad principle and they need to suck it up.  

Back to digging. I am a very good digger. No really. It’s one of my major talents. I inherited it from my mother. She would look at a patch of land, a gleam in her eye, as rapid paver calculations ran through her mind and the next thing I knew I was digging along beside her. I love people who have plans – even mad crazy, back breaking plans where you question your own sanity for jumping aboard their wild scheme. I still have the family shovel. It's a beauty and must be at least 50 years old. Out of my cold, dead hands I say...  

Digging – it’s about stamina – nothing else. I think that’s why I am good at it. I have stamina to burn. And, if you’re ever imprisoned ala The Great Escape and need to dig your way out. Call me. Have shovel will travel.  

 

 

Chookery...

So, a couple of weeks ago I explained that Dulcie, one of my chooks, was going through this black, moody, angst filled period where she was being a total bitch and refusing to do anything but sit in the hen house – probably either composing bleak, chook against man poetry or dire threats against me and all humanity – and she was also pissing off the other two chooks, Laverne, aka Houdini and Ursula, the beauty challenged one, who were trying to live in the same abode and lay eggs. Terrible squabbles ensued and feathers were found everywhere. The mood in the backyard was tense and explosive. Dulcie, for the record, had done the dark, moody shit before and there’s just no reasoning with her when she is all angst filled and pissed off looking, glaring at you with evil eyes. But I'm not about to fall apart due to another's mind games so I left it to her explaining that 'I’m not playing into this shit, sister.' 

But now suddenly, Dulcie has left the chook house and is hanging out with the other two chooks and is laying eggs. Why? I dunno. Who can say what goes on in the mind of any female let alone a feathered one? Do I trust her? Let's just say I'm not about to turn my back on her and become a headline in the Cairns Post..."Chook attacks woman. Police search for suspect last seen headed for KFC muttering 'vengeance will be mine'."