So restless of late...

“When people shake their heads because we are living in a restless age, ask them how they would like to live in a stationary one and do without change” George Bernard Shaw

Yeah, why didn’t I?

I’ve been thinking a lot about what someone said to me the other day – “why didn’t you do…..” I wanted to at the time. I really, really wanted to. But I stopped and I havered and thought ‘yeah but what will they think if I do?’ Which is weird for me as I tend to rush into things bull-at-a-gate and rarely do I give a rat’s arse about what someone else thinks. But, suddenly, I have another person on my list of people’s opinions that matter to me and I’m trying to act less like my irrational self. Or maybe I’m acting more like my true myself. I don’t know. Maybe some people are meant to scare you in a good way – to make you change and force you to look at things. I dunno. I do know next time I will do exactly what I planned…and more. Look out.

www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book

Change it up...

So, people are whining at work about the changes. They want everything to stay the same. These are the same people who admire practiced orators like Barack Obama who sell the dream of change to the masses. Then they eat it up and think what a swell guy he is – yet they fall apart when change happens in reality – to them personality. On a global scale it’s fine ‘cause someone else will be blamed if it screws up. Sell the dream but hell no, don’t make it a reality. I don’t get that logic. Maybe as an ex-army brat, who grew up with change, I have no issue with it. I don’t know. Maybe it’s a personality thing. Maybe some people are scared of life. If that happens I say scare life back.

I’ve made some massive changes this year – personally – nope, not telling you but they’re very nice changes and professionally I’ve done okay. I decided to harness the inner slut and write some raunchy Penn Halligan books. She’s doing quite nicely too. I always suspected I had the heart of a trollop.

Change? Is good. Don’t wait for the Hollywood dream version of change. Get on with your own.

ANDY WARHOL ~ They say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.

www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book

Uh oh...

…he’s reads my blog. He just told me. I am gobsmacked. Yes, I know an internet blog is not a private thing but it was like the second last bastion of defense I had against him. Yeah, I know, dumb but there it is. Who knew he would even be interested? Because of him, I have no idea who I am anymore and I’m not sure how I feel about that. I like it. I hate it. I am daily confused by him. I want him gone now. I want him to stay for as long as he can. It’s hard and fast and will end in a wild explosion yet I want to see how big an explosion. I want to be sitting as an old lady somewhere with a smile on my face making the other old ladies jealous with wonder.

So - him - the one with the sexy voice, the wicked words and the sweetest thoughts. Him – the one who has wandered into my boring, controlled life and disrupted the hell out of it. Him - the one I alternatively want to punch, kiss, yell at and back away from at a million miles an hour – and have - because he knows way, way too much about me. Him – the one who panics me and enthralls me. Him - who makes me want to laugh and then kick something through a wall because damn it he’s a smart arse know-it-all and worst of all he’s right. Don’t you hate that when someone can see through your disguise? Him - I want to thank for being a really, nice genuine bloke with no preconceptions about the ‘ideal’ woman - but then I just really want to arm wrestle him to get my control back even though he never took it away. Him – who makes me do stuff I have always wanted to but never did because – well, just because – he knows why. What he sees in me I have no idea yet I’m still talking to him trying to work out if he’s on drugs or just a dear sweet friend and lover who just likes me as I like him. I believe ‘like’ is sometimes more powerful than love.

Can people change your life so profoundly in such a short space of time? You know, if you have of asked me that a couple of months ago, I would have said ‘no, I’m too ornery to change and I like being bossy and stubborn and doing things my way and I’m not changing for no one – nuh-uh – go away – piss off.’ And yet I have changed and I feel lighter and freer because of it. I believe some people are born to be catalysts in your life and that by gentle, persistent force they make you change without you even realizing it.

So to you, my dear …yes, I admit it – I have changed. You know that. You have done that for me and I love you for that. Okay…that’s about as mushy as I get…

www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?