Weird dude on book covers...

I was reminded by author Anny Cook about this weird dude that can be seen on multiple ebook covers. Which weird dude you ask out of the headless men picture above? And why headless men? I'm assuming to buy the pic with a head would cost the cover artist/publisher more money.  I don't know about you but I would like a hero with a head. I'd pay the extra for the head. I don't feel, as a reader, that's asking too much. I can see all three men have abs and a crotch but bring me his head - cranium that is, not dick. 

Anyway the weird dude we were discussing is the one at the back with his torn 1980's style jeans and his button undone, seemingly ready to either pee or drop is pants to dazzle some breathless heroine with his love muscle. And Anny was right. I've seen him on a lot of covers so this begs the age old question - do women buy ebooks because of the covers? Do they want a man in ripped jeans and his hands on his hips as he balances on the balls of his feet to make him look, I dunno, taller? More well endowed? Is this really what women? If so, then what is the story behind the cover going to be about? Deep, spiritual messages? Man's inhumanity to man? Metaphysical forces in our daily lives and how they shape our destiny? Or just a random sex with a weird dude and his two buddies, legs astride and seemingly ready for action?

 

I dunno...I believe women deserve a head.

Where has all the drama gone?

When I first starting writing, 7 or so years ago, it was a foreign world to me. Ebooks were not highly thought of and the ebook publishers of the time were little demi-gods that you weren’t allowed to question because they wouldn’t give you a contract if you did. I know some authors who were terrified of a certain diva at the main erotic epublisher of the time. I suspect she enjoyed scaring people with her power. Everyone has to have a hobby I guess.

Today, for some reason Mrs Giggles came to mind. Do you remember her? She’s still going. I remember how terrified authors were of getting a book reviewed by Mrs G. She hated two of mine. It didn’t bother me. Reviews are always just opinion and not fact – but oh, how some people were scared of her.  I kinda liked her. She was a force to be reckoned with then. And there was Karen Knows Best. She’s still going too but – dare I say it and I will – she’s mellowed a lot. I can remember HUGE controversies about authors like Carol Lynne who had ebooks ripped to shreds on KKB and the drama behind all that. It never harmed CL and frankly it made her career and good luck to her.

There were other ‘terrifying’ people as well, but most have fallen by the wayside.  I tend to think it’s because ebooks are more acceptable now than then. A plethora – love that word – of people can write ebooks, there are scads and scads of publishers out there and writers don’t have to rely on the tyrannical whimsy of the only established ones - and let’s not forget self publishing. Look at people like Selena Kitt, an author, who kicked arse and made a huge success of it despite what people thought or said.

Does anyone fear reviews any more? I don’t think so. Not from what I read. Are writers scared of trying other publishers? Not that I’ve heard. Do Diva publishers rule? Probably in their own minds. So, where has all the drama gone? I’m sure writer Anny Cook is nodding her head at this. Is it just age mellowing them or more, as I believe, the world has moved on without being scared of them? Or, do we just not scare as easily?    

         

Typecast...

Interesting thing, I’ve been reading my way through the Anita Blake Vampire Hunter series. While I’m enjoying it, the thing the gets me is the amount of typos in these paperbacks. You know, people always pick at the typos in ebooks citing that the writing and editing is rushed and therefore substandard because anyone can bung together and sell an ebook. Yeah, that can be true. But I was surprised that so called reputable, print book publishers are putting haphazard printed books out with a hell of a lot of typos.

So, to the traditionalists who will only read hard copy, are you getting a higher quality product than an ebook? I think not. 

Multiple orgasms...

I’ve started reading the Anita Blake Vampire Hunter series by Laurell K Hamilton. I’ve just finished book 4. What I find interesting about the series is the heroine, kick-arse, strong, in control, deadly Anita, isn’t into pre-marital sex – sex has to mean something – it’s a commitment.  I find her an intriguing character in a book where sex doesn’t sell the story. It made me think about heroines in ebooks. It’s no secret that sex sells ebooks and in many cases fills in for plot when the author can’t think of a plot other than the hero/heroes (depends what the current trend is and how hungry you are for a contract) protects the heroine while indulging in mutual shagging two minutes after meeting her and oh yeah, there’s something about a bad guy but back to the multiple orgasms. You don’t seem to get that in paperbacks, except for E.L's Shades of Monotonous Tedium but then that’s just a rip off of Nine and a Half Weeks and while kudos to the author for making a shite-load of money, it’s still just two tedious people having ho-hum-gosh-gee-blink-gasp-he wouldn’t-giggle-snore-stupid slapper-sex.

Is sex in ebooks easier and vitally necessary to write in because most writers don’t go past the 50k mark and sex adds to the word count? If you can write past this word count, does it mean you have the ability to write a plot and therefore while sex is important, the characters don’t have to fuck like bunnies – an ebook writer expression – to get a contract and therefore should consider writing for real publishers?  Am I being hard on ebook writers lacking wordage and plot? Yes. But I can be. I’m one of them. I have first hand experience of the industry. This Anita Blake series has me thinking about what women want, about writers and publishers and I’m thinking ebooks = cheap sex and paperbacks = plot. 

Just a moment?

I was talking to a very wise author who’s been in this writing business for about the same time as me – about 7 years. She said something to me the other day that has stuck in my mind. It was along the lines of ebook readers don’t want to read romance as much anymore. It’s all about ‘the act’(sex). Yeah. I can see that. The more pornographic, the more interest. Is that a bad thing? I don’t know. Probably depends on do you want everything you can get or do you just want a moment?   

Old, new, stuff...

The old…

I get the rights back to the ménage romance called Male Me in April. I’m putting it back out there at a way cheaper price because frankly $5.49 is a blood lot to ask ebook readers to pay. I’ll be charging $1.49.  

 

The new…

Deadly Single and Deadly Together are the first two stories in the five part The Outcasts series. What are they about? Romance set in a world where single women are ostracized by law.

Working on…

The sequel to The Vampire’s Bride and The Vampire’s Kiss. It’s The Vampire’s Redemption – Polly and Aran’s story. Thank you to all those readers who keep asking for it. I have finally pulled my finger up and I’m trying to finish it.  

It’s hard to fit writing into real life. Thankfully, there’s work time for that.

Ebook land rejection…

  ‘The subject is not one we feel our readers will be comfortable with’.

The subject? The erosion of female rights set in the future.  Nah, of course we don’t want to read about women wanting more and being an equal to the men they love. That's anarchy, man.

What the fuck was I thinking?  Oh wait...I was thinking.

No Cynthia, it ain’t different…

So, I rarely read books purely because like everyone else on the planet I’m busy. The only time I do get to read is on the plane or if I take myself away from civilization for a couple of days and zone out. Then I read. Paperbacks. No, I don’t read e-books. I like paper. Weird considering I write e-books but then in a world of great weirdness ‘tis only one more thing to add to the weirdness pile.

Anyway, I bought some books by a particular author. It’s a series. I bought them at a second hand market about a year ago. I don’t have the whole series…probably why they were selling cheap. So, I mentioned to a writer friend that I’ll have to have a look around for the ones I am missing. She said to buy them second hand from the internet. I found that interesting as this particular writer, let’s call her Cynthia, continuously bitches and whines about e-book pirates who sell/trade e-books – hers - on line cheating the writer – her - of said e-books out of money.  Hmmm…double standard?  

Now let me just say that e-book pirates are pond scum in my eyes. Their only redeeming feature is…er….ah…well, I’m sure maybe their pet ferret loves them and undoubtedly they enjoy playing with themselves.  

I am always amused by authors who get all het up and emotional over e-book scum ripping off their work – “taking away our hard earned money” – but then these same writers would happily buy a paperback second hand - not from the author’s publisher - but a Joe Blow seller on the internet. The money doesn't go back to the writer. And no, I don’t go with the argument that the paperback author  is only expected  to get the money from the first virgin sale of said paperback. It’s a dumb argument and you could apply it to e-books so why use it?

So, is it that e-book writers are more emotional about things? More into double standards? Do they spend more time then they need googling their writer names to see how many times they are mentioned on the internet and that’s when they see the e-book rip-off sites?  Are paperback writers less angsty? And from what I gather unless you are a world famous writer adored by gazillions, paperbacks don’t get you as many royal as e-books.            

By all means have your double standards but keep ‘em to yourself.

And no Cynthia, it ain’t different…

Price gouging...

So, I have been taking back the rights to all my books and stories from the mainstream publishers. Why? Because I have learnt enough in the six years I have been doing this writing thing to know that I don’t agree with what they do. So, for me, it’s a case of put up or shut up. So many writers whine about publishers but the vast majority do stuff all about the situation they’re in because they’re scared to move away from the mother ships. Whatever. I’m an Aussie. We’re a little bit different. Our crap factor has a low threshold and we believe we can do anything we choose to do.

Anyway, I got the rights back to Fear of Being as of August 1^st and I was looking at it on the publisher’s page and I was astounded by the price they had on it. No, I’m not a writer who spends time starry-eyed looking at their literary reflections on the publisher’s page and squeeing so I hadn’t really paid any attention to the website. But this is a 40,000 and a bit word story and they were selling it at $5.99. That’s ridiculous. Who in this particular economic climate is going to shell money out for an ebook that essentially all the publisher has to do is bang it out in 6 – 8 formats and then set it up to be downloaded hundreds of times. It’s a rip off.  I absolutely believe 99% of publishers are screwing the book reading public over. While I get that they’re out to make money, seriously charging through the nose for an ebook is ridiculous.  

What will I charge for Fear of Being? I’m going to charge 0.99 cents for the first month and then I reckon $1.49 after that. Is this profitable? Yeah, I’ve seen that through the other stories I have taken back.   

Reading should be an affordable pastime for everyone – not just the rich.

Book cover nongheads...

Now, I do the self publishing thing. I make my own book covers. Some people love them. Some hate them. Some couldn’t give a crap either way and my world turns regardless of opinion. I’ve had some shitty covers made by supposed professional cover artists – you know the patch and paste jobs that they charge the publisher a solid $100 for - and others I have made myself and I like a lot.  The thing with cover art is you can spend as much or as little on it as you like. If you go to somewhere like Fotalia.com – my personal preference - you can buy a heap of credits and the covers cost usually no more than $1.00 and they can be claimed on tax. It’s not rocket science. You then stuff around with it on Gimp or paintbox or whatever program you’re working with until you bang out a cover. 

Recent controversy about various authors using watermarked images they have not legally paid the rights to makes me wonder how smart these authors are. First up a watermark on the hero’s body isn’t sexy.  It’s tacky and it smacks of being an unprofessional nonghead. Added to that it’s not smart or fair or right to use another person’s artwork without legally obtaining the right to it. Authors who do that should, to my mind, accept people who pirate their ebooks for their own gain because it’s essentially the same thing. Taking without permission? Tacky. Classless. Wrong. Thinking you won't get caught? Dumber than dumb.  

So, thinking about doing your own covers? Have a crack at it. Some will fly, some won’t but for god sake have enough brains to buy the rights to use the artwork because ebook land will retaliate and rightly so and crying about people being mean to you isn’t going to save your arse or give you any credibility.  Wise up. No one likes a nonghead.        

Authors...

….who call their 5,000, 10,000 or 15,000 word piece of writing a book are essentially playing with themselves and the public. It’s a short story, lovie. I wrote 10k essays when I was at Uni. I didn’t hand one in and say here is my book on the Linguistic vagaries of urban, tattoo Pigmies living in non-monogamous relationships who ride scooters in socio-economically challenged areas of the Simpson Desert. By the way…pretty much no one lives in the Simpson Desert. It’s hot and dry and there’s nothing for miles…but I digress…it’s not a book. It’s a short story. Writers don’t want to hear that. Why? Well a butt load of them are churning out fast stories to make a quick buck. I get that. I really do. Money makes the world go round and every writer, myself included, has done it. But don’t call a hastily written 5 men and one woman fuck-fest a book. I’m not doubting it sells but calling it a book gives readers expectations of more. It also – and this really annoys me – allows publishers to put inflated, ridiculous prices on short stories. $3.99 for a 15,000 word story that is written once, is formatted into different versions in the blink of an eye – and don’t let anyone try and tell you there’s a lot of work in formatting because that’s crap. There are programs that do that with very little thought from a human. $3.99 for 10-15k of words. Seriously? I can go to Kmart and get books on sale that are bigger and a better price. I can go to a junk shop and fill a bag with cheap books.

Yes, yes, yes…you have an e-reader. It’s the way of the future. I just wonder how many readers actually considered how expensive the future of stories and proper books was going to be. The greed of authors, publishers and giant corporations is bleeding readers dry. No, I haven’t been sucked into an ereader yet. And no, I do not ever plan to charge $3.99 for a short story. Why? Because readers deserve more.   

 Dicking Around…$1.16…

The Perils of Paula…$1.16

Strip for Me….$1.16

If Nor For You….$1.16

Hush…$1.16

Eat Me Up…$1.16

Bad Girl….$1.16

etc…etc…etc…

Don’t talk to me about expensive overheads. That’s bullshit. Treat the reader fairly.   

   

www.amarindajones.com

“So 90 percent of sales were discreet ebook downloads…”

"Ana," as he calls her, willingly and excitedly agrees to spanking, whipping and gagging, with props like ice, rope, tape -- a repertoire right out of a BDSM [bondage, discipline, dominance and submission] manual.

The heart of the romance is the notion of submission and the way in which Steele accommodates Grey to "make him love her,"according to Rachel. "She sees being submissive as a necessity to save him," she said. "He was broken. That was more of the appeal. And the sex was a bonus."

British mom and former TV producer James initially wanted to replicate the success of the "Twilight" fan fiction series. The novels were published by a small independent Australian press and hard copy distribution was limited. So 90 percent of sales were discreet ebook downloads...."

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/50-shades-grey-women-turned-sexual-submission/story?id=16059118

Hmmm… So 90 percent of sales were discreet ebook downloads? Wait a second….that can’t be right. Explicit sex/porn on ebook sites is apparently forbidden and you can get reported for it and have bamboo slithers put under your fingernails making it impossible to type ever again.

Makes you wonder don’t it? A skeptic would say it's making too much money to ban it and money makes the rules....hmmm...

Dear Indie Author....

Dear Indie Author,

We have made a decision to no longer maintain most indie author accounts at BookStrand.com. Therefore, we are deactivating all titles associated with your account and no new uploads will be accepted. Your final distribution payment will be disbursed to you within 30 days and your account will be closed. During this time you will still be able to access your sales report from your account.

BookStrand will focus on its core business by servicing accounts of publishers with clear submission and publishing guidelines that best serve our targeted audience. Our customer base was successfully built on this premise, and it's time to go back to our roots.

While we understand you may be disappointed in losing a distribution outlet for your work, there are still several outlets that currently accept self-published titles. We wish you the best in your endeavors.

Sincerely,

XXXXX
BookStrand.com

Well here’s the thing Bookstrand, I already deactivated my account so deactivating something that no longer is valid seems like an overkill to me. Added to that you have killed off a lot of good Indie authors who have written many great stories that have nothing to do with sex. Did I mention OVERKILL?

Freedom of speech and equality – you don’t got it. Equality in publishing is not about censorship. But hey, they’re your rules and you don’t have to believe in freedom and equality if you don’t want to.

And going 'back to their roots'? It fascinates me that Bookstrand is the home of one woman getting taken/shagged/fucked by five men – usually shapeshifters/cowboy - stories. This is okay apparently and it’s not obscene regardless of what sexual practice is used against the one woman. Double standards much?

Funny old world ebook publishing.

Of late...

…I have been noticing a couple of things happening with ebooks. The first is the word ‘fuck’ is appearing in the titles of many stories. I find this interesting as it seems to have overtaken ‘wolf’ in the title. I also wonder why the word ‘fuck’ in a title is more acceptable than showing nipples on a cover. Both indicate sex yet only one seems to upset the ebook police. Why is that? Is it because ‘fuck’ is part of our common vernacular but for god sake keep your nipples to yourself?

The other thing that interests me is ebook pricing. $2.99 for a 3500 word story – and call it what you want in your own mind but under 20,000 words is a story. I find the prices authors/publishers are applying to their stories are ridiculous. Yes, yes, I realize you had to get someone to do a cover and edit and the author spent probably half a day writing the 3500 – 5000 word epic that was supposedly torn from their angst ridden soul but that’s your problem. Why does a reader have to pay $2.99 for what should be a 0.99 cent book and nine times out of ten they’re not even going to see the cover on their ebook reader? Hmmm?