I’m fascinated…

…with these TV adverts where a bunch of yanks, usually with incredibly false smiles, appear on Aussie TV and try and tell me, a woman who has worn a bra since she was 11 years old that they have come up with this whizz bang phenomenal bra that will change my life and I can throw all the others away and live my life in harmony. If that’s not enough to make me want to buy it they then trot women who have supposedly bought what is effectively a sports bra to announce how this bra has changed their lives for the better and they are so much happier with their boobs. Here’s what I think. We send a load of Ah Bras and Genie Bras over to the various warring hotspots in the world and we dump loads of them out of helicopters because they seem to make everyone incredibly happy and fulfilled. I believe if they can make every woman on the planet happy with their boobs – massively huge undertaking that - then truly they should be used for world peace. Mr Obama? Are you listening? Probably cheaper than bullets and you get three different colours for one fantastic price…try it. If you’re not happy they’ll refund your money. Can you do that with bullets?

Of late...

…I have been noticing a couple of things happening with ebooks. The first is the word ‘fuck’ is appearing in the titles of many stories. I find this interesting as it seems to have overtaken ‘wolf’ in the title. I also wonder why the word ‘fuck’ in a title is more acceptable than showing nipples on a cover. Both indicate sex yet only one seems to upset the ebook police. Why is that? Is it because ‘fuck’ is part of our common vernacular but for god sake keep your nipples to yourself?

The other thing that interests me is ebook pricing. $2.99 for a 3500 word story – and call it what you want in your own mind but under 20,000 words is a story. I find the prices authors/publishers are applying to their stories are ridiculous. Yes, yes, I realize you had to get someone to do a cover and edit and the author spent probably half a day writing the 3500 – 5000 word epic that was supposedly torn from their angst ridden soul but that’s your problem. Why does a reader have to pay $2.99 for what should be a 0.99 cent book and nine times out of ten they’re not even going to see the cover on their ebook reader? Hmmm?

Peace...

I went for an early morning swim at the lagoon on the Cairns Esplanade then followed this with coffee, sitting on the wall watching the tide come in. It was overcast, humid but peaceful. So bloody peaceful. I thought once more how much my life has changed since I packed up everything I owned, chucked in my job and headed off to a new life. There is a measure of peace I hadn't ever imagined I would have. I owe nothing to no one and I answer only to myself. That’s priceless.

People are always moaning about how they’re "not lucky" and that others are. I say bollocks. Luck and peace is yours if you have the guts to take a chance. Stop whining. Start taking chances. You’re in charge of your own destiny. Get out there and take the risk.

Dirty Sexy Yours....

...out now through Scarlet Harlot Publishing.

https://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-dirtysexyyours-677431-144.html

Ah, Inspiration…

Yesterday, at boot camp, I was lying flat on my stomach. I was dirty, sweaty, hot and the grass I was lying on was saturated because it was raining. On either side of me were two nicely built, hot gentlemen who was very polite and smiling and we chatted as we waited to launch into 10 push ups and then a sprint, that we would have to do ten times in a row. I thought to myself “This isn’t so bad…"

No birthday cake for you!

So, the other day at work it was someone’s birthday and we forgot or didn’t know and everyone looked at me and I said what? They had this half arsed theory that I should have known because Tinkerbell, who used to be in my place and lasted two seconds before scarpering after doing a crap job, used to have a list of birthdays and she would produce cakes for these occasions and I expect people oohed and ahhed in appreciation. The question was then asked of me, had I made up a birthday list with the names of the people – who range in age from 25 to 50 – for birthdays. No. Was I going to? No. Why? Because frankly I’ll forget, I have other stuff to do – let’s face it if I have time to stuff around with a birthday list I’d rather use that on the work internet for personal business - and basically you’re all grown ups. I did advise that I was happy for someone else to make a list and take Tinkerbell’s place. This apparently ruins the surprise. How I’m not sure but I did point out that forgetting and not getting a cake was also a surprise so maybe we continue with that tradition. On further questioning I discovered that no one really cared whose birthday it was as long as they got something to eat. Ah. Of course. Offices – hot beds of intrigue? No – just greedy people sitting on their arses and contemplating what to eat next. No surprise there.

It's huge...

So, I stopped on the way home from work and bought two huge pots of bamboo. Why? Because I could. They were so huge that as I was wheeling the trolley through Bunnings, mega Aussie hardware store, I couldn’t see where I was going cause I’m short and they were huge. I got to the check out and the check out dude said “They’re huge.” Correct. I wheeled them over to Verity, my non huge car, and stopped and thought about the follies of my life. Think big, buy huge then contemplate after the fact how to cart it small. I ended up putting the bamboo in the front passenger seat on the floor. It took up that, part of the back and the windscreen. But I live in Cairns and we drive like cowboys so what the hell. I’ll use the Cairns excuse. It was an interesting drive, me in my small, lime green car, peeking out through bamboo. I told my father about it over the phone. The ex-Viet Nam Special Forces man said “Watch out for Viet Cong.”

Life…it’s huge man.