I'm not much of a writer...

…because I can’t decide if I really want to go to a romance writer/reader convention thingy in Sydney in March next year. I have 8 days to register and get the cheap early bird rate. Meh…I don’t know. I’ll be honest, I find conventions boring. While I like talking to readers, I dislike all the formality of these shindigs and the authors I have never heard of before telling me how wonderful they are. No doubt you are honey but you don’t have to sell me. I will admit the main reason I want to go is to use it as a tax deduction. The thing is with tax deductions you sometimes pay more than you get back so is that really just defeating the purpose? What to do…what to do? I have been thinking what I spend in Sydney for one weekend I could spend half of in pissing off up to Cooktown - maybe 4 hours north of Cairns – or Mission Beach to the south and go walkabout there for the weekend.

I don’t know. If I was any sort of a writer I would be on the convention bandwagon ready to go. I think I have the wrong DNA for this gig.

Why the picture of the pool at the apartments where I am in temp living mode? Mainly ‘cause I was too lazy to find another picture. This was taken in the arvo just before a monsoonal downpour. I still got wet either way. Some things are just meant to be…I’m just not sure conventions are.

Amarinda Jones
Penn Halligan
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book

Uh oh, Toto…

I decided to start walking in the mornings again today. What with moving and everything I had got out of synch with my normal routine. So I took a wander around the new neighbourhood. It’s located on the verge of the rainforest. It’s hot and humid but the air is disgustingly fresh and clean and I’m not sure my city lungs will be able to cope. Anyway as I meandered along, sticky-beaking at houses, I came across this sign. WTF? I don’t think we’re in the city anymore, Toto. I do carry a heavy stick to whack attacking dogs or dumb arsed bad guys who may view me as a target – but wild animals? What sort? How big? Do they have claws and just how fast can I run?

The picture below is the view from my balcony.

Amarinda Jones
Penn Halligan
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book

The bug squad…

One thing I do notice about living in the tropic is the bugs are – well - dumb. No really. I have found I spend a lot of time lifting bugs off their backs and righting them on their legs. They wander off, without thanks and I suspect go and do the same thing again. What is that about? Clumsy or what? And why more so in the tropics? A dear friend did point out that maybe they wanted to die and my intervention could be pissing them off. Well, fine but how does one know it a bug wants to die or not? It’s not like they can speak. Anyway, this is one I saved earlier. Upside down bugs? Not on my watch.

Amarinda Jones
Penn Halligan
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book

90 degree angle interruptus…

I hate it when this happens. I know I’m not the only one on the planet who, every so often, maybe due to fat, clumsy fingers or not paying attention due to bright, shiny objects, somehow manages to turn her screen on the side at a 90 degree angle. No, I don’t know how it happens. If I did I would stop doing it. The pain in the bum about this is that I then have to stand up and crane my head on the side so I can find the google bookmark I have for this entitled “how do I turn my computer screen right side up?” Sounds easy but everything goes backwards and where you think the cursor is it isn’t. And why the hell would you have it so you could inadvertently turn your screen on a 90 degree angle anyway? It’s not like I’m an astronaut in zero gravity. Who thought that dumb arsed idea up? A computer nerd drinking too much red cordial? Yes, it is a terrible drama – how much can a koala bear I ask you? 90 degree angle interruptus? It's out there. Be careful.

Amarinda Jones
Penn Halligan
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book

Banana time...

I’m a very casual person. I dress as I choose, speak as suits me and act how I want. But up here in the tropics of far North Queensland, where every second person will tell you they saw Oprah doing some filming, because at some stage she’ll be hanging out here when she brings her TV show down under. And you know I did see her myself. I was at the supermarket and they had flowers marked down in price. I love flowers. I bought the last bunch and I’m almost sorta kinda certain in a vague way that the woman who missed out on the last bunch was Oprah. She stood there and said ‘bugger’ – but in an American accent. Yep – 27% certain it could have been her…anyway, where was I? Oh yes, casual people – my god, they’re casual in Cairns. Compared to them I’m on speed. I used to tease fellow colleagues who worked in the Cairns branch about them always being on ‘banana time’ when it came to doing things and bloody hell it’s true. So, I have to slow down more, drive less like a city driver, wait for long, drawn out discussions about the weather/crocodiles/cricket to be finished at the bank before I can do my business and basically try not to walk so fast. Yes, it will be quite a stretch for me. But for now a picture of pineapples growing au natural at the motel I stayed at. Yes, correct, only a city person would stop and take a picture of that. And yes, they’re real as I felt them and no I don’t think super glue was used.

Amarinda Jones
Penn Halligan
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book

The budgie has landed…

Well, moving – what can I say? You can be as organized as all get out and the whole thing goes smoothly until you have to deal with the internet service provider. Cue bungling Keystone cops music. Anyway, that debacle has sort of been sorted out…sorta…kinda…it’s ongoing drama.

But, the temporary Chez Amarinda is set up to a degree. These pictures are from my balcony. Three sliding doors lead onto the balcony from the bedrooms and living room. It’s all to do with keeping cool in the tropics.

Amarinda Jones
Penn Halligan
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book

So sad...

Shock and grief as New Zealand Pike River Valley miners confirmed dead News.com.au

Just so sad. Rest in peace.

I hate...

...incompetent people who cannot find their own arse with their hands and waiting for them to do so. How do these people grow up so inept and why do they all work at phone/internet companies?

It's one of the inponderables of life. Like missing socks and men...they just happen along. Hopefully, if the planets align and people can find their arses I will have the internet tonight.


yours in extreme frustration,

Amarinda

Bugger...bum...

I have no internet at home. It's driving me nuts...not that it was a far drive. Hopefully I will be back online soon...or maybe in frustration take up competitive drinking on my balcony to soothe the savage beast within...

Amarinda

It's all happening...

Lots of stuff going on at the moment. I will be moving into the new Chateau Amarinda tomorrow. It's a 6 months stopover while I look around to buy a house. So hopefully this time tomorrow I'll be back on my own computer in my new digs and not lurking around internet cafes in Cairns...though I do enjoy the odd lurk...

Amarinda.

I know vampires suck but...

http://hea-reviews.blogspot.com/2010/11/review-vampires-kiss-by-amarinda-jones.html

But hey - thanks for the review. Any publicity is good and all opinion - sucking or not - is admired and respected.

Amarinda

Uh oh...lost again in Cairns....

I'm thinking I should start reading the map before I drive off....

On the home run....

So I’m up and refreshed, sorta, and perky…ok, I’m never perky but I have thrown on clean clothes so that’s a start and I’m heading off to Cairns. It’s my final destination. Another 5 hour drive and I’ll be in my new home city. Watch out Cairns. I’m coming…

Amarinda Jones
Penn Halligan
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book

The third day...

Townsville is the destination today. It’s about 5 hours away. I never thought I say this but after 8 hours of hearing myself sing, I must to stop and be quiet. Apart from my pukeable warblings, it’s been a good trip so far. The scenery has been amazing and the people friendly. Patrick, my car, has behaved admirably. What more can I girl ask for in a travelling companion?

Amarinda Jones
Penn Halligan
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book

Day two on the road...

Long stretch today – Bundy to Mackay. It’s 8 and a bit hours. I plan to sing along to the sundry shopping bag of CDs I have thrown together to play. Not sure how Patrick, my car, will deal with 8 continous hours of me singing. I’ve also decided in lieu of my birthday I shall blow another $30 and stay in a 4 star motel. What the hell. I’m worth it.

Amarinda Jones
Penn Halligan
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book

Excessica : Sex By Numbers by Penn Halligan [9781609824068] - $2.99

Excessica : Sex By Numbers by Penn Halligan [9781609824068] - $2.99

That's Penn Halligan my baaaad alter ego...

Road Trip day one....

Okay – so I’m packed and the movers are doing what movers do and I’m on the road to I reckon Bundaberg. It's about 5 hours away. I say I 'reckon' as that’s the goal but goalposts, as we know, have a habit of changing. Bundy is the home of Bundaberg Rum - a fine drop. The plan is to get there tonight. Let’s see how that works out….

Amarinda Jones
Penn Halligan
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book

Hillbilly style...

Patrick, my car, resembles the truck in The Beverley Hillbillies. It’s packed to the rafters with sundry stuff I’m not about to let the movers take. I hit the road tomorrow on my 20 odd hour trek. But for now, all is packed and peaceful as I look forward to the newest chapter unfolding in my life.

Amarinda Jones
Penn Halligan
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book

Zen teachings...

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.
Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow.
In fact, just piss off and leave me alone.

2. Sex is like air. It's not that important unless you aren't getting any.

3. No one is listening until you fart.

4. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

6. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.

7. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

8. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

10. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it.

11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

12. Some days you are the dog, some days you are the tree.

13. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

14. Good judgment comes from bad experience ... and most of that comes from bad judgment.

15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

16. There are two excellent theories for arguing with women.
Neither one works.

17. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

18. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

19. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our ass.
Then things just keep getting worse.

20. Never , under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Amarinda Jones
Penn Halligan
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book

Synchronicity…

I was on my morning walk thinking about how I needed to get one last box to fit my microwave in for the move on Friday. As I pondered this I rounded a corner and there before me was a pile of boxes on the sidewalk. I think Mick summed it up best…

You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you might find
You get what you need

~ The Rolling Stones ~

Thief is out now. Click here to take a squiz - Thief of Mine

Amarinda Jones
Penn Halligan
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book

Fury....

Fury as orphaned koala fights for her life after being shot 15 times Mail Online

God - how brave - shooting a koala. I say shoot the bucket of puss criminal who did this 15 times and see how he likes it.

Amarinda Jones
Penn Halligan
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book

Fake awesomeness…

I was over at the Ellora's Cave site reading some reader reviews I was emailed about by X for several newish releases. I’ve had some pukeable reader reviews there and that’s okay. I’ve put them on the blog in the past. I’m a great believer in giving an opinion. It’s up to you as an individual to accept what another says or move on. Clearly there are many writers who do not accept opinion. I have to wonder if your book is deemed to suck by genuine readers who paid money for it is it going to make any damn difference how many writer friends go in on the EC site and say the book was 5 star and ‘awesome’ to the 1 and 2 star ‘you suck’ reviews. Oh sure, you may get a few more readers buying the book after the false balancing up of negative to positive reviews but doesn’t this also mean that those who were undecided about an author may buy a book, based on fake awesomeness and then think ‘what a gyp! This book does suck. I will never read Hotsy R Totsy’s books again.' It’s not an honest way to do business is it?

*gyp = rip-off

Amarinda Jones
Penn Halligan
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book

Thank god I'm odd...

I had a WTF-are-you-doing-Amarinda-Z-Jones moment last night as I lay in bed thinking how I had tossed in my job, put the house on the market and was planning to thrust myself into a new world where I knew no one and everything would be so different. Normal people don’t throw stuff away. And then I remembered – ‘you’re not normal’ and felt instantly better.

Phew…thank god I’m odd.

Amarinda Jones
Penn Halligan
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book

Help or something else wanted…

Legit job adverts sent to me…

Cairns- Male - Strippers Urgenty Required [ No Experience Ok ]

Urgently Required for up coming Xmas Period. Male Strippers 18- 40yo. No experience required, however you must have good toned, athletic, Muscular body.

I wonder how many people answer these jobs? And urgently required over xmas? Urgent strippers?

Cairns Males Back-packers/Locals 18 - 60 Urgently Required
Cairns QLD

Hi guys : I am a local male artist/Photographer who is Urgently seeking Male volunteers who would allow me to photograph their well-endowered... P-e-n-i-s...

I have no idea why penis is spelt with hypens unless it is to indicate size.

So looking forward to living in the tropics with urgent, naked strippers with hyphenated genitals….

Amarinda Jones
Penn Halligan
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book

Oh dear...

http://www.jasminejade.com/p-8764-shackle-me-not.aspx

I had a card left in my mail box to indicate I had a parcel waiting for me. So I went to the post office and picked up said parcel. I got back to Patrick, my car, and ripped open the top of the box with my car keys. I stared at the contents. Huh. There was no note. Just a mini toy jukebox. Hmmm. Not something you get everyday. Two thoughts came to my mind. 1 – I must have got drunk one night and randomly ordered obscure items off the internet. 2. This was some freaky drug thing and someone has stashed cocaine in the toy jukebox, sent it to me, as a random person, and I would get a knock on the door one night by some bling wearing thug, called Bubba, wanting his drugs. Most perplexing.

I drove home and decided to check my credit card charges online to see if the first scenario was correct. I logged on. The computer wouldn’t work. Huh. I picked up the phone. Disconnected. Huh. A double mystery. Possibly the drug scenario was correct. Disable the woman and steal the jukebox drug stash. I rang the phone company. They didn’t know anything about possible drugs in a jukebox. They did tell me they disconnected my phone as per my request for 12th November. Um, yes that would be correct if it wasn’t the 2nd of freaking November. Oh dear, the woman said. Yes, oh dear would sum it up. She then set about reconnecting it only to discover they had buggered something up and would have to send a techie out to fix it. Sigh. Incompetence. Stamp it out now. Then, while I’ll wondering about my credit card and whether Big Bubba, drug lord, would knock on my door, my mobile (cell) phone rings and the sender of the jukebox – a good friend – explains she sent it as a house warming present for my new digs on Cairns. Ah, confusion – something that is thrust upon us at random intervals or a birthright?

Amarinda Jones
Penn Halligan
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book

In the bag...

Julia Gillard, Aussie PM and Hillary Clinton met up at the Asean summit. Anyway, I’m sure they discussed all sorts of important things. However the thing that fascinated me the most was they were both holding enormous handbags. It goes to prove the bigger the handbag the more powerful the woman. Me? I kick arse.

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/national/hillary-clinton-coming-to-melbourne-for-fun/story-e6frf7l6-1225945902433

Amarinda Jones
Penn Halligan
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book