Dear Ms Jones
We refer to your constant complaint of 28 March 2013 regarding the fact we are trying to gouge you in order to have money to pay our wages and the no-hoper losers who keep us in a job but who would not work if their arses were on fire.
In accordance with the Taxpayers' Charter, aka The Screw-U-Over-Giggle-fest Charter a reply is to issue normally within 21 days of receipt of your complaint, unless we determine that:
- You’re a pain in the arse and you really annoy us that you feel you have a right to question us.
- We are unable to reply because you upset us with your constant questioning of us screwing you over and we have to claim compo due to stress or carpal tunnel. Tick box A or B.
- or, all of the above
Should this be the case, we will contact you again within 14 days to 2052 days receipt of your complaint and advise you of our inactivity because you pay us until death or our redundancy.
Your complaint is being coordinated by whoever is not on a rostered day off in our extra special whiz-bang, touchy-feely-could not give a crap activated compliance area who will arrange for resolution of your complaint or are hoping you will die before we contact you.
The Service Request number for the complaint is LMNOP-X19 swizzle stick_knurkle_flerp.
Please have this reference available should you decide you will pursue this even though normal people wouldn’t.
Louise Seriously-Bugger Offsky
Australian Tax Office.