Wednesday once more....

10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"

-Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
-You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
-The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
-Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
-You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says "How's my driving-call 1-800-***-."
-Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
-You're convinced there's a God and he's male.
-You can't believe they don't make a tampon bigger than Super Plus.
-You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
-The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

I got a letter in the mail today that made my hair stand on end in fear. Oh lord no – it could not possibly be. I re-read the letter again, hoping I was mistaken but no there it was in black and white with a pretty pink banner up the top…

Dear Amarinda

We wish to advise to advise you that you are due to have a mammogram.

Oh crap…don’t get me wrong, I think all women should have regular breast checks, it’s just the thought of a mammogram made me shiver. I am sure those of you that have had them know what I mean. To me it’s like squashing your boob between two bricks until it is as flat as a pancake. My friend Nola reckons it like lying topless on your side as a car drives over your breast. It’s damn painful but it has to be done as cancer is worse. But holy hell I am not looking forward to it. The ladies at the clinic are very, very nice and they have seen thousands of breasts so yours is no treat for them. I do however laugh, as you are standing there without the benefit of hydraulic lifting, when they ask if you have had breast augmentation. Seriously? Do these puppies look like I asked a surgeon to make ‘em this way? I know that have to ask but it always makes we laugh. So, if you have not had a mammogram go and bloody have one. Yes, it hurts – I’m not going to tell you otherwise but it is a necessity. It can save your life.

Age shall not weary them….

….I saw these two ladies today. They had long blonde hair and they were wearing tight Lycra pants and teeny weeny jackets that barely covered their midriffs. No, that’s not an unusual sight. The thing is they had to be at least 80 years old and they were a tad doddery on their 3 inch heels – but they were working it for all it was worth. People were staring at them and whispering but I looked at them and I thought ‘good on them.’ Who says you have to look a certain way when you’re a certain age? If they felt good as blonde 80 year old bombshells then who am I to say they shouldn’t look like that? I believe we spend too much time worrying about what other people are doing and saying. My plan has always been to age disgracefully. I’m going to have blazing red hair and wear all black lycra -maybe with a bit of leopard print but I hate wearing heels so maybe sparkly shoes. So are you going to age with grace or be the one everyone shakes there had over?

I have a sty on my eye lid…aren’t they bloody annoying? Anyway, an acquaintance advised that I have to rub a gold wedding ring on the affected area. This is an old remedy. So, sure why not – who’s to say it’s any sillier than any other cure? I have a gold ring I wear all the time – but gasp – my acquaintance told me it has to be a wedding ring and not just any ring. Okay, what I want to know is how an infected eyelid will know the difference? Real gold is real gold whether it’s a tether or an ornament. So what’s your favourite traditional old/weird arsed cure?

I have been hounding the local city council to get the road surface in the street I live in fixed for months. It’s not a major road by any means. Two cars can just fit down it and we like it that way because its a quiet street. Anyway the council type people have just been fobbing me off with half arsed excuses. So I went and saw the local council member who is up for re-election – next week in fact – and explained the situation to him and what I expected done being a rate paying citizen. The road is getting fixed next week. Now, if there had of been no election, I know that I would have been told me to hurry up and wait. About three months ago a large chunk of the gutter was loose. It annoyed me as it was near my drive and it made my nice, new driveway look sucky. I rang them and got the usual response. I then lied and said the concrete has broken away from the curb and it’s in the middle of the street and I’m worried a car would hit it and the council would be liable. They were instantly in panic mode. Can I some how push it over to the side of the road? I said I would try but they better hurry for as a woman I could only lift concrete so far. They said they would be out in 30 minutes. I then ran outside and dragged the piece of concrete from where it was safe against the gutter and strained to pull it into the middle of the street. When they arrived they were alarmed and thanked me. The gutter got re-cemented. It annoyed me for a long time that I couldn’t think of a similar plan for the road. But thank you lord for elections.

I have not had jelly – or jell-o as some of you may call it since I was a kid. I had some on the weekend with a dessert and now I am a jelly-eating freak. I am out of control man! I have no idea how to break the jelly cycle. Is there a jelly anonymous? It’s such a ridiculous thing to be hooked on…

Anny is talking computers and spam on www.annycook.com.blogspot.com. No, she is not eating fake ham as she types – I feel I should say that in case you think I may have misled you when you go there. Kelly had fellow Aussie Katie Blu on www.kkirch.blogspot.com. Ms Blu is discussing finding a mate. Check it out and read about a strange woman…not Katie or Kelly…although sometimes…and wanna' win a great prize? Of course you do. Check out http://sandracox.blogspot.com/ and answer one really easy question to win.

No blog tomorrow...but I will be back on Friday…may the force be with you

www.freewebs.com/amarindajones/
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

The Wednesday Interview

Do I have the Christmas clue today? Gee, I’m not sure. I’m a writer, we forget stuff…where are my car keys, where did I put that bag of popcorn, my Tim Tams better be just lost and not eaten etc…so best keep reading. Maybe I have the clue. Maybe I’m just taking the piss (translation-toying with you)

Down Under Diva, Aussie Katie Blu is the Brilliant author today. Her first book Beloved Brother is soon to be released by Ellora’s Cave, We all wait with baited breath for a glimpse of the cover. Expect it to be hot, hot, hot. Next week, author and clog dancer…er, I mean blog mate Kelly Kirch will be here to discuss the fabulous Time For Love.

Beloved Brother - the Blurb…

Phoebe Marks hates Jared Larabie and seeing her childhood adversary kiss her best friend in college sets off unwanted thoughts which she isn’t ready to face. Years later when her mother marries his father, she is sure the playboy son is a chip off the old block and his father will leave her mother’s heart in tatters a second time. But in the midst of sparring with her new step brother, Phoebe discovers she’d better guard her own heart or suffer a devastating blow of her own.

The Excerpt….warning - this contains sexual stuff that may offend people worried about, er, sexual stuff.

Mrs. Gilfoy kissed Jared goodnight and slipped into her house. It was then Pheobe realized Jared knew she was there. His gaze locked on her through the shadows and he smirked. His loping gate brought him to the spot where he’d fucked Mrs. Gilfoy into next week. Leaning on the banister, Jared stared into the shadows where Pheobe stood.
“Did you get a good look, Phoebe?” He hopped Mrs. Gilfoy’s porch and approached.
Phoebe gasped and ran for the back yard. Anything to get away from the embarrassment of getting caught. He chased after her. She could hear the dry grass give beneath each rapid step as he followed her into the back yard. The house lights were off with the exception of her mother’s bedroom. Consummating? Oh God, Phoebe would love to consummate with Jared.
Jared caught her around the waist and pushed her back against the tree. Phoebe pelted him with ineffectual hits to his chest. “Let me go!”
“Not until we chat,” he said. Jared grabbed her wrists and held them with his large hands above her head. “How much did you see?”
His breath fell softly on her cheek. She glared up at him. “Enough to make Mr. Gilfoy pretty pissed.”
“Mr. Gilfoy ought to spend more time pleasing his wife than his secretary.”
“She’s old enough to be your mother,” Phoebe hissed, kicking out to nail him in the groin.
Jared blocked her kick and parted her legs easily, using his hips to pin her. “Hardly. She’s forty five and a great looking forty five.”
Phoebe grunted, arching her back to shove him off, but he was too heavy. Still, she repeated the attempt. “And you’re twenty four. That’s like twenty years.”
“Good job, squirt. You know your math. But the fact that Mrs. Gilfoy needed a fuck-buddy for the night should be a little out of your interest area. Don’t you think?”
“Piss off. We’re both here to talk some sense into our parents not fuck the next door neighbors.”
Jared laughed. His body quaked heartily against hers. And much to her irritation, her body began to respond to the seductive, husky sound of him laughing at her. Her legs wobbled and her already hot apex throbbed uncomfortably. Phoebe whimpered, unable to explain the thick, hungry coil which pebbled her nipples and made her ache to rub them against his warm chest.
She bucked against him, her breath stuttering in her lungs when her hips ground hard against his. There was no ignoring the long ridge between them or the way Jared’s laugh stopped short. Unable to stop herself, Phoebe rubbed her hips along his. A quiet whimper escaped her.
Jared stared hard at her. His gaze narrowed on hers as he carefully studied her expression. She tried to guard the sharp arousal she felt, but he saw it anyway because he swore under his breath. His nostrils flared. “You’re horny,” he said, flatly.
“I’m fine.” She barred her teeth at him and glared. “Let go of me.”
“You saw something you liked tonight. Interesting considering how much you hate me. Or do you hate me Phoebe? Is that the problem?”
“Ha! I saw you and Mrs. Gilfoy hammering the porch posts in. That’s what I saw. Don’t flatter yourself, asshole.”
“Really,” he said, his voice a challenging whisper. Jared hovered over her. Locking eyes with her, he brushed his mouth across the corner of hers.
She gasped, instinctively turning her head to him. “Go away, Jared.”
His lips feathered the other corner and she sealed her eyes against the very near temptation he presented. Instead the memory of him with Mrs. Gilfoy made the temptation more difficult to resist. Stumbling across him fucking her, Phoebe hadn’t been able to look away. She tingled between her legs like it was her channel he had speared with his cock.
Jared’s ticklish brush across her lips had done nothing to ease the longing. Phoebe squirmed. “Please…” Oh dear Lord, had that been her voice begging him to kiss her?
His mouth settled on hers. She whimpered for more, hating herself as she did. With tender exploration, his lips molded to hers. She parted beneath him, but his mouth remained closed. Phoebe arched her hips into his, grinding him to relieve the sting of arousal. “Make it stop,” she pleaded.
“What stop?”
She moaned, not able to bring herself to tell him that her crotch ached for something and wanting him to give it to her. She’d never felt this way before. She’d never been out of control with the agonizing sting between her legs. “Jared, it hurts.” She pushed her hips against his, moaning when his erection centered between her thighs.
Jared tracked a hand from where he held her wrists, drifting down her arm. His hard palm cupped her breast and Phoebe cried out as pleasure thrummed from the heated contact through her bra. “You’re a big girl. Go up to your room and take care of it.”
“How?”


The interview…

1. You have some sizzling sex scenes in your book. How hard is it to write sex and make it convincing?

Bloody oath, they’re sizzling. Can’t very well write an erotica without it. Sex isn’t the least bit hard to make convincing. I take my personal experiences and put them on paper.

2. Romance and the condom. How hard do you find to slip it in or on when the action is hot between characters?

A minor technicality, the condom. I’d much prefer not having one, as it is fantasy, but the choice is made already. Now determining the color, size, texture and function of the condom, that is the hard part.

3. Do you think romance just happens or do you make your characters work for it?

The characters must work for it else the romance wouldn’t be worth diddly squat.

4. What is it about your hero that makes him irresistible to women?

Psychic energy and pheromones I reckon. Nup, He’s got to be sexy, hasn’t he? He must be exactly what she needs and she cannot help but recognize it in him. It is especially appealing when what she wants is also what the reader wants.

5. Do you think readers want to escape or do they want to identify with a character?

I pen erotica. I suspect it’s escape and rough sex they’re looking for, yes?

6. What do you think is the most important thing to remember when writing romance?

You’d better be getting some on the side else you will be frustrated beyond bearing after writing an erotic romance. If you’re writing romance, you ought to know which parts go where.

7. What are you working on now?

Penning a ménage. There are three childhood friends. The heroine and one of the blokes get on without the other knowing. The two blokes are shipped off to the Gulf. The wrong bloke returns believing the other dead. Those two friends get on, the first bloke returns. Everyone jumps in together after that.

No, you cannot click on the cover to buy...but one day soon you will be able to. Ms Blu does not have a website yet. She needs to get her finger out and get one up and running. So please feel free to comment on her website-less state.

Last week Brilliant Author - Jean Hart Stewart - Song of a Druid Princess

12 Days of Romance - I fibbed...I don't have the clue but someone on the list does...hmm whom would that be?

Do you want to win some fantastic holiday reading? Of course you do. If so come celebrate the Twelve days of Romance with 12 authors from Ellora's Cave, Wild Rose Press, Total-E-Bound and Cerridwen Press. Each day beginning December 8th and running through December 19th one of the twelve authors will tell what their "True love gave to them" on either their blog or website.

Collect all twelve answers and e-mail them to anny@annycook.com with 12 days of Romance in the subject line to win some great books. There will be three lucky winners. The prizes –1st prize--6 books, 2nd prize--4 books, 3rd prize--2 books. All books and prize winners will be drawn randomly.

Anny Cook Winter Hearts
Sandra Cox Boji Stones
Bronwyn Green Ronan's Grail
Heather Hiestand Cards Never Lie
Barbara Huffert Deal of a Lifetime
Amarinda Jones Mad About Mirabelle
Kelly Kirch Time for Love
Cindy Spencer Pape Cowboy's Christmas Bride
Brynn Paulin Fallen
Jacquéline Roth Access Denied
KZ Snow Mrs. Claws
Lacey Thorn Earth Moves

All answers must be received no later than the stroke of midnight 21st December (Northern hemisphere time) or worlds collide and you don’t want to be responsible for that now do you?

As always Anny www.annycook.blogspot.com and Kelly www.kkirch.blogspot.com have many thoughts to share with you...check them out and the fabulous, smart, witty author blogs to the left

www.freewebs.com/amarindajones/
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?