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Showing posts with label ants. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ants. Show all posts

Sunday, 22 March 2009

And the ants shall lead the way…


I was sitting on the back steps last night contemplating my navel, metaphorically that is, it’s too scarred to actually look at, and I was wondering about life and stuff I could have done better and the whole why-didn’t-I-do-this-or-that-or-the-other thing when I saw all these ants. Actual ants – not metaphorical ants…and I said to myself – what the bloody hell is going on here? We have been inundated by ants at the moment in Brizzie. I don’t know whether it’s like a sign of the apocalypse or something – you know the whole biblical plague of locust thing – but we have had a shit load of ants around at the moment. Why? What are they doing and more importantly why did they keep crawling up the legs of my sleep shorts when I was trying to be all deep and meaningful? You can’t do that and brush ants from your knickers.

The answer of course was to stop being all deep and meaningful and just get on with life and forget about all the other stuff that gets in the way…that and get up and stop the ants in my pants. Have you ever noticed ants never stop moving? They keep moving and never falter in what they are doing. I seriously doubt they get all wound up about things or wonder about stuff. I think they’re probably too busy ensuring their survival to worry about navel gazing – actually they probably don’t have a navel so that probably makes it easier for them to just deal with life. I believe all the problems of life centre around having a navel…it’s one of my many theories…

So here’s to ants – pragmatic little buggers who I intend to be more like.


www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Saturday, 16 February 2008

Saturday Soapbox...


Of late I have been reading and listening to people going on and on about whether George Clooney should be a UN Messenger of Peace. Why not? To be honest I didn't know much about the prejudice, drought, oppression and genocide in Darfur before George Clooney started talking about it. He has created a lot of awareness. When I read stuff about George Clooney and whether he is the right person to promote the UN and Peace, several thoughts occur to me. Yes, he is an actor – a Hollywood star – but I don’t see how that makes the man any less credible than anyone else. It’s almost like a reverse prejudice. Instead of being perceived as ugly and undesirable and therefore unsuitable for whatever, people wonder why this attractive man is going to the ugliness of Darfur. What is he to gain from it? An ‘in’ into politics? Is he trying to make himself look even better than he does? Why be so suspicious? The man wants to help. And everyone should be seen as someone who can promote peace. I admire people who go to the ends of the Earth to help those suffering what we cannot possibly imagine. I don’t care if he’s a movie star or the boy next door, if he is prepared to do something then I cannot see how we can question his credibility. I think some parts of society are too ‘star-struck’ and they can only see actors being a certain way - open to question and ridicule if they step outside the box. We have to get a global grip.

Want to learn more about Darfur? http://www.savedarfur.org/content - this is only one of the many sites on the internet. When you read it you realize how lucky you are.

Okay – that gets me on another track with the whole celebrity/perception thing. Is it just me or are you sick of hearing about who’s in rehab or having a mental breakdown in celebrity-dom? How is this news? The bottom line is these celebrities are still just people and they have the same problems that everyone else does except they are in the public eye. And yes, many times, it’s their choice to be in the public eye – but addictions, breakdowns and mental illness are nothing to be joking about. I don’t know if X is having a mental breakdown and frankly it’s not my business. Having lived with a family member who had bi-polar disorder, I know only too well the amazingly hard, emotional cost of mental illness. We will never know why people do what they do or how they feel about stuff or why they make the fatal decisions they make. We can never be in their mind – be they a celebrity or not. And let’s face it haven’t we all got enough demons of our own before we start judging or poking fun at someone else’s? Mental illness and addiction is not a joke and I point blank refuse to get caught up in the whole sensationalist crap.

Changing the topic completely…Ever wonder about ants? I find them fascinating. No, I don’t have an ant farm but I do have a lot of nests outside in the grass. They interest me as they are such the survivors and they never give up. Every time I mow the lawn I knock their ant houses down cutting the grass. The next day they are back at building them up. A freak rain storm flattens them and the next day, the ants are working at reconstruction. Birds peck at their nets trying to eat them, the nests get knocked down but back up they go again. That’s perseverance against the odds. Someone suggested I poison them as they ruin the look of the lawn. I’m not going to do that as how something looks does not worry me and how could I kill those little buggers when they have worked so hard? They’ll die eventually but not at my hand. I want to see if they start building a skyscraper or maybe a theme park next.

I believe angels would weep with joy, all wars would stop and peace would reign if everyone went out and got a packet of Tim Tam Crush ( particularly mocha hazelnut) as they would be caught up in an orgasmic rush that

other petty irritations would be cease to exist. These biscuits are better than sex. I suspect they won’t be out for long – just like the alcohol flavoured ones hit the market and disappeared when everyone was hooked. Speaking of alcohol, a recent survey in Queensland, my home state and paradise on Earth, showed that banana benders, as we are known, would prefer to spend less money on petrol (gas) but would not cut spending money on alcohol. See? You have to have your priorities right and you can’t drink and drive anyway.

A moment from - Unbreakablewarning - very adult excerpt

“You’re going to film this too?” Bloody hell was she going to end up on the internet like some sad-assed middle-aged wanna-be suburban porn star? “Two cameras?”
“I want to catch every moment.” Dash adjusted the camera tripods to make sure the angle was right on each. “This is for our exclusive use, darlin’. I want us to look back on this when we are old and gray.” He switched the cameras on.

“I’m already going gray and this is just one week of my life.” He made it sounded like a long term commitment.
“Is it India?” Dash sat down beside her on the bed and trailed his hand down her body. “You’re very beautiful and infinitely fuckable.”
“Well fuck me then and get this over and done with.”
Dash chuckled and reached into the drawer he pulled the satin ties from.
“You don’t want a quick shag and neither do I.”
Yeah, actually I do.
India looked at what he held in his hand. It was a silver bullet and not the kind used to kill werewolves. He was going to put that in her and even if she could stop him she knew at that moment she wouldn’t.
“How badly do you need to come, darlin’?” Dash’s hands went down to her pussy. One stroked between the curves softly while the other held the bullet. “You’re so deliciously wet.” He leaned forward and licked her clit. He smiled as India shrieked. “Did you like that?”
“Yes, oh God yes,” India writhed beneath his hand.
“Do you want me inside you?” Dash blew softly against the wet pink flesh.
India’s toes curled at the sensation.
“Yes, I need you now.” She did not care how needy she sounded. She just wanted Dash inside her.
“Maybe later,” he said as his fingers slid the bullet inside her and turned it on.
India closed her eyes as the vibrations started slowly. If he was trying to kill her, this was certainly the way she wanted to go.
“Open your eyes India,” Dash growled in command. “You need to see and know at all times what I am doing to you.” He ramped up the speed of the bullet.
“Oh God,” India moaned as a wild thrill of sensation shot through her body. She was so close to coming.
“Do you want to come?” Dash leaned forward and licked her clit again.
“Yes.” As he slowly tongued her she whimpered.
“Will you do anything I ask?” Dash looked up into her eyes.
“Anything.” India was so close to the edge of an orgasm that she would agree to whatever he wanted.
“Good to know.” Dash sat up and switched off the bullet’s controls.
“No, don’t stop now.” The bullet had stilled and yet India’s body was still teetering on the edge.
“I need a sandwich.” Dash stood up and walked away from the bed.
“You what?” she yelled at his back as he left the room.

Hmm…wonder what sort of sanger (sandwich) he had?

Anny has an intriguing excerpt on
www.annycook.com.au and Kelly is discussing the many uses of lint on www.kkirch.blogspot.com. or maybe not...

www.freewebs.com/amarindajones/
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Saturday, 29 December 2007

Saturday stuff...


You can be a better you for 2008…

This is some of my Amarinda junk email. If you believe it my life will be fantastic in 2008 if I just invest in snake oil….

Why don’t you buy drugs to be healthy?
Interesting - this is an email from someone who appears to be somewhere in South America. The drugs that they mention can do wondrous things. Funnily enough most of them are not approved by most governments – apparently that’s due to the fact they are so ‘unique.’ Hard to believe miraculous stuff this does not instantly get approved in order to save mankind.

Partner available now! – Yes, apparently I can get me a man right now and all they ask is you supply them your credit card details and the man of your dreams/nightmares will appear. Gee, that is awfully tempting isn’t it – not.


Make sure your man can satisfy you in 2008. My there are a lot of gadgets out there that supposedly increase penis size to alarming proportions. But here’s the thing, we all know the only thing that’s going to get better is the coffers for this company. I say give them a big swerve and avoid wasting your money. The only thing a man needs to do to satisfy me is provide an endless supply of Tim Tams and disappear when I give him the ‘get thee gone look’. I am a simple soul.

A real woman has real breasts…okay, are real breasts different to normal breasts? So if you have normal boobs does this mean you are not a real women or less of a woman? Do you really give a rat’s arse? Apparently, reading their advert, bigger is better because you will attract more men that way. It’s not like they would lie is it? Though how big would you want to be? It sounds like it would require another new bra with extra heavy duty hydraulic lift system. I’ll think I’ll stay as I am thanks all the same.



Out of a 100 men you will meet –

65 will be married
20 will be gay
5 won’t be interested in you
5 you won’t be interested in due to their haircut
5 could be the man of your dreams

Increase your chances now….
Okay – married and gay I get. I also understand the some people are never going to be attracted to other people – however – do these nitwit advertisers truly believe love is based on a haircut? “Oh no, I couldn’t love him – he has a crew-cut.” Pluh-lease… So that apparently leaves 5 men that you could possible have. Is that at the same time? How would that work? On a rotational system? How exhausting would that be? Or do you get to chose out of the possible 5? What if you make the wrong choice? Is it a do-over? Sounds all too hard for me. And how exactly does this company

“Increase your chances?” Magic wand or a wad of money?

Lose weight so he will love you more – what? WHAT? ‘Not even going to respond to this as it is stupid beyond belief and if by some chance you are with such a shallow-arsed man – leave him – you’re too good for him.

Don’t you just hate it…

…. when you get bitten on the arse? Most annoying especially when you are outside gardening and it means you have to dash quickly to a enclosed area and rip off your shorts and shake ‘em out to dislodge said biter. Green ants – I hate ‘em. Little bastards


Lust in Time…. What does it have in common with being bitten on the arse…nothing…but everything doesn’t have to have a meaning.

“What are you afraid of, Arabella?”
“Not you, that’s for damn sure.” Any other man would have backed off by now. Arabella was very good at repelling unwanted advances. But of course Garrett was not just any man.
“I have been told I am quite a pleasant and handsome companion.”
“And of course you believe this,” murmured Arabella back, looking into the flinty grey eyes that held a teasing gleam to them. Oh yes, this man was an accomplished flirt. However she was not in 1888 to fall for any honeyed lines delivered by charming men, regardless of how attractive they were. Arabella sighed softly in frustration. Garrett was the persistent type and she was the stubborn type. It was a case of an irresistible force meeting an immovable object. One of them had to give and it wasn’t going to be her. “Let’s cut to the chase. We had sex. I enjoyed it. You have an awe-inspiring cock. But I am not here to pick up a husband or to be with you. I am sure there are dozens of local girls who would love to drop their bloomers if you smiled your charming smile at them but for me it’s not going to happen again.” I am immune to you. If she said it enough times she would believe it.
“’Awe inspiring cock’?” Garrett repeated her words back to her. “I did not realise just how much you enjoyed it.”
Arabella mentally built another wall around herself. Ignore the smile. Ignore the eyes. Ignore your rapid pulse and get a grip, she told herself. This man was not for her.
“Listen clearly. I am not interested. Sex with you was a one-off.” What would the church members think if they heard this conversation? Not that Arabella particularly cared. She was not sticking around long enough to be part of the congregation.
“Actually we had sex three times,” Garrett corrected her helpfully.
“Whatever!” Arabella snapped out softly between her teeth. “But I do not belong here or to you.”
“So you are going to fight this all the way?”
“I’m not fighting anything.” Okay she was but that was for her to deal with. Arabella did not need Garrett knowing any more than he had to.
“What I don’t understand is why you are fighting this attraction between us. You have told me you have no other lover in your life. You and I fit together so well it’s only natural I want you with me.” Garrett’s voice was earnest and sincere. “I love you and I want to marry you, honey.”
Arabella slapped him on the arm in frustration.
“What the hell is wrong with you? You don’t marry someone just because you have sex!” She was trying very hard to keep her voice low but Garrett was not making it easy for her to retain any sort of ladylike calm.
“Why don’t you want to get married?”
“Because I don’t have to.” Was the man thick or just pushy? “I am a liberated woman who can do what she wants.”

“Maybe in 2008 you can but this is 1888. You have no money of your own and you are a spinster,” Garrett said pointing out the grim realities that faced women in the 1800’s. “What woman would not want to marry in those circumstances?”
How was it that this man knew instinctively every button to push to get a reaction from her?
“You think you are going to somehow save me from social ruin?”
“Can you afford to knock back suitors at your age?”
“Oh! I am not old!” Arabella spat back, rounding on Garrett. What a nerve he had! Age was never an issue to her yet it annoyed her that this man seemed to say it in such a way to annoy her. “And I am not on some quaint little shelf where spinsters are euphemistically shoved. How old are you?”
“Arabella!” Amy Louisa gasped in shock, breaking out of her reverie with Adam Wade. She looked stunned. “I have never heard a woman discuss anything so personal like that with a man.”
Arabella knew Amy Louisa would be shocked at just how personal she was with her brother.
Garrett smiled fondly at his sister’s shocked face.
“I am thirty-five years of age, Arabella,” he replied urbanely.
“Well, Mr. Robillard, you are on that shelf then,” replied Arabella, ignoring the pale face of Amy Louisa beside her. Yes, she knew it was 1888 and she had had every intention of acting accordingly but damn it this man brought out every 2008 instinct within her.
“Age is different for a man.”
Arabella gave an unladylike snort of derision.
“And that hasn’t changed much at all in one hundred and twenty years.”


Anny – www.annycook.blogsdot.com and Kelly www.kkirch.blogspot.com are still on the road somewhere in the USA but take a squiz at their blogs and the ones to the left and see what fascinating tidbits they have to offer you. And if you want drama and pathos go to Musings of a Cover Artist. It’s not for the faint hearted.

www.freewebs.com/amarindajones/
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?
amarinda_jones@yahoo.com.au