The stodger effect...

Okay, I believe I have worked out why Dulcie, the chook, goes into terribly dark, brooding, evil eyed, sinister moods where she refuses to move and looks at me like I’m scum. It’s the stodger effect.

Ipso facto – three eggs. The small white one is Ursula the chook’s egg. She’s what I call beauty challenged and scared of absolutely everything – but she tries hard and one can’t fault the ratbag chortler that.  The middle one is from Laverne, aka Houdini I-can-escape-anything-so-let-me-run-free-or-else the chook. The last one? The big stodger of an egg that barely fits into the palm of my hand?  That’s Dulcie’s. Yeah, I reckon one small bodied chook may just be a tad cranky after laying such a ginormous egg. She can have her dark moments. I get it.

Serious chook issues…

So, there are some serious chook issues happening at my place. It’s all to do with winter. There is not as much daylight and the chooks are going a bit stir crazy due to how winter is affecting Dulcie.

Dulcie is a chook. She’s also going through a massive manic depressive stage where she is refusing to leave the chook house, that is unless no one is watching her then she will wander out, eat food and scuttle back inside and sit on the lower floor of the chook house and not move. This presents a problem for the other two chooks – Laverne (accomplished escape artist) and Ursula (beauty challenged) in that they have a 89% preference to lay eggs were Dulcie is sitting. 11% of the time they lay them who bloody knows where. So, they wander into the chook house and stare at Dulcie. She stares at them. When nothing happens with the stare-off, they go and attempt to sit on her in an attempt to move her. She doesn’t care for this and mayhem ensues and feathers can be found on the lower level. After a scuffle between three chooks, two who really, really, really want to lay eggs to the point that have their legs crossed, Dulcie stands up and allows them to share the space. Once they’re done, she then sits on the eggs for the rest of the day brooding about man’s inhumanity to chooks.

When I get home, the other two chooks are standing out the front of the chook house waiting for me with a look of ‘she’s at it again’ and I go in and chat to Dulcie. She eyes me like I’m mad and clucks something I believe is ‘piss off.’ I then, pick her up or more often roll her onto her side and take the eggs explaining to her 'this deep, moody shit has to stop' where she then closes her eyes and ignores me. The other two, watching on then follow me around to the patio as if to say ‘we’re the good ones. we’re not like her.’  

It’s all too much some days…

Of sex and car washing...

So, I went to a country market at Gordonvale, 20 mins from Cairns city, yesterday and found out about chooks from a young, dedicated chook bloke.  I learnt probably more than I will ever want to know about chook sexing. I do now know that most types of chooks can hang out together – no matter creed or colour – lesson for the mankind there and that they must have a perch to sit on as they like to contemplate their world. Fair enough. That sounds like something I would do. I made a mental note to knock up a perch when I got home. I also know that I bought two golden something or other chooks and a black speckled Hamburg and all will lay in approx two months. I found out they’re very placid creatures – somewhat a paradox to the budgie crew - and that they’re happy to sit in a box in Verity, my car, with the radio on loud and they didn’t blink when I stopped to take Verity through the laser car wash. So far they’re still alive after a night in the new digs. See? I’m not completely useless. 

Chookery...

When I went down south to visit my father at Easter, I met up with one of his carers who had a vast knowledge of chooks. That’s chickens to non-Aussies. I’ve always been interested in having some chooks as pets. So, we had a long discussion on chickens with the carer. My father listened in and added in interesting comments like ‘your mother always liked ants because they look busy’. I think that’s why I like chooks. They’re birds who look like they have things to do and places to go. Anyway, I now know exactly what I need when it comes to chookery – possibly a made up word. I do understand they only lay for a couple of years and then ‘it’s best to get rid of them.’ My father chimed in at this saying ‘Oh Amarinda can’t kill anything she names.’ I agreed that was indeed correct because I do give names to all sorts of things and once named I feel honour bound to animals, birds, insects, lizards and horny, misguided bandicoots called Neil, to make sure even if they are retired and wonky in the legs with age, they still will be able to hang out or wobble around my backyard without threat of the chop.

So, with all my new found knowledge in mind, I have started looking for a hen house. There are lots of abodes for chooks to live in. At present, I am undecided what housing requirements I want the chooks to have. I like a lot of room to do stuff in. I expect no less of any chooks who wander the grounds of XH, my home. I did check out some abodes in my lunch hour but none appealed to me. However I did buy several toys for the budgies, who are spoilt rotten for toys, while looking at chook housing. I wonder what chooks like to play with….hmmm…

Random thoughts #2378…

Few people will ever understand you a little bit let alone know who you are as a person. That’s probably a good thing. Be exclusive.

I think we should all start wearing capes and boots…possibly masks. We need to have more fun

I need a fairy godmother…not a godfather as I can do the horses head in the bed thing myself if need be.

One day, all chickens will be liberated and allowed to smoke, drink and get fat and die of heart disease.

Do you think sloths get pissed off that everyone thinks they’re lazy? Maybe they’re just slow or free spirited hippy-love children who reject fast paced, commercialism.

The one thing we all agree on is sex and it doesn’t require having a university degree to do it.

Do you want fries with that?

If ‘legend has it’ shouldn’t it stay with legend?

You should always wish upon a star ‘cause you never know…