Wednesday, 4 December 2013

Pistols at dawn....

So, at the temp job, which finishes Friday and I’m not at all upset as it’s the most anal place on the planet with the laziest people AKA public service, I have to input these invoices into the computer. Yeah. It’s a no brainer and boring as all get out but being a temp means you’re like a hooker. Pay me for that and I’ll do it. I may not do it well or find it interesting but I’m just doing it for the dosh so don't expect any great emotion, buddy.

Anyway, with the invoices you sit and type in all this crap into the boxes on screen that has to have crap typed into them. I had done a bazillion of these, and was going brain dead, when it occurred to me that in a batch that I had done and just come back from the accounts payable people – I have never met an interesting accounts payable person - they’re a dreary lot whose worlds are ruled by anal rules and the words ‘should’ and ‘shouldn’t’. I counter this with ‘why not?’ which drives them insane, which I admit I enjoy doing. Where was I? Oh yeah,  so in the batch that came back – picture me typing them in, sending to accounts payable. They type something on the invoices and send then back to me where I’m supposed to receipt them and send them back to them where they probably stamp them 7 times and then file them and someone in 30 years will say ‘what a load of bollocks’ and chuck them out. Ah, public service. So I pointed out in an email a double up of a certain invoice - my error, which they should have picked up - and I said it needed to be cancelled. This caused, let’s call him – Miron – from accounts to have a conniption fit.

We can’t just cancel things
What? You don’t know how?
(insert horrified gasp) That’s not the point. We don’t ever do it.
Why not? It’s a mistake. I made it.
You shouldn’t have made it
Well, you didn’t pick it up in the back and forward crap between us you lot do.
(sucking in of air through clenched teeth). Were you paying attention to what you were doing?
(Me contemplating personal emails, phone calls and personal internet done during work time)  Sure. Absolutely. More than likely. Probably. The thing is Miron it needs to be fixed.
This is so troublesome.
(Troublesome?) Yes, I’m sure it is. If you want to meet me for pistols at dawn and we duel it out then fine but accounts wise you should cancel a double up as you will pay twice and that seems more troublesome.
Oh dear, oh dear…
Miron, get a grip man. Tell me how to cancel it. My ID will be against it and everyone can blame me and I won’t give a crap.
Oh dear, oh dear…
Yeah. Whatever. How do I cancel it?
I’m not sure.
(I knew it) Okay, well there’s this big red X up in the toolbar. I’m gonna click on that. Either it will cancel it or we all die.
Too late. Oh, lookie, the invoice is gone. Do you now get a notification that it's deleted and do you send it to me and I send it back to you with a stamp on it? Then you stamp it and.... 
When do you leave?
Come on Miron, you’ll miss me. You know you will.