Because I’m an Australian…

 …I can run for exercise and not in fear from war or religious persecution because I am a woman. I can say and do what I like, not expecting people to always agree with it but knowing the spirit of free speech and ‘have a go’ is what Australia was built on. I can dress as I choose, have the friends that I do and live how I want. I can roam the vast land of Australia knowing there is no better place on the planet. I have food, water, shelter and I work for what I have and I’m grateful I have the Aussie spirit that makes me understand hard work brings reward. I can appreciate, respect and even be fond of animals that will kill without thinking because they’re our animals and they’re unique. I don’t have to follow sport but when Australia’s playing I do because we’re the best because we try the hardest. And if we don’t win? That’s okay because we have so many other amazing things in ours lives and the other blokes probably needed the win to make their lives better. 

In a land where we’re so culturally diverse we all speak the same lingo and a mate is a mate and if you get into a fight you know exactly who will be standing at your side taking the blows with you. Give me a lamington, a stubbie, a barbie and beach. Give me the mountains, the creek and the crocodiles. Let me run along the Esplanade in the pouring rain. Let me drink coffee while scanning the sea. Let me speak plainly and succinctly yet knowing as I do so I have had my say and no one can take that from me because I’m an Australian. I have it all and I don’t forget that.   

Some days are diamonds...

I found out today that not only do we have the traditional day off in June to celebrate Queen Lizzie’s birthday – which is actually in April but June suits us better for days off – but we also have the same day off in October. Fan-bloody-tastic! Why do we have the extra day off? Well, in Queensland we’re a little bit different – call it unique if you will – and we don’t do everything like the rest of Australia because we don’t want to. Anyway they were going to move the old duck’s birthday thing – no, I’m not a Royalist. I subscribe to my Highland Scot grandfather's decree of ‘when she sings god save Bill, then I may sing god save her’. Indeed.…where was I? Oh yeah, so the plan was to space the holidays and change her birthday-which-is-not-her-birthday in October as there are a lot of public hols at the start of the year. Because of this change and the fact that they announced it late and we all made lots of plans for June 2012 they decided to give us the day off in October as well. See? It’s great being an Aussie.   

I Am Australian ~ Song "I AM AUSTRALIAN"

I love Australia and I’m proud to be an Aussie.

Happy Australia Day

Aussie, Aussie, Aussie…Oy ! Oy ! Oy !

Amarinda Jones
Penn Halligan
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book

Chuck another snag on the barbie…

…Fairy Floss, my doctor, rang to check how I was feeling due to my blood pressure ‘being in my boots’ – it’s very, very low because of my dodgy thyroid. Anyway, she said ‘well, have a good weekend and have a couple of snags tomorrow.’ ‘Snags’ are sausages and tomorrow is voting in the Aussie Federal election. Voting is generally held at the local schools. Sausage sizzles (snag in bread with onions and sauce (ketchup) – “$1.50 please love”) are set up by the enterprising school associations to get extra $$ from the punters who have come along to vote…or really just to have a hot snag and onions. It’s all very Australian and frankly it’s the only way I’m happy to go and vote.

But stuffed if I know whom I’m voting for. I’m pissed the Labor party dumped Kev – our previous Prime Minister – in a very un-Aussie move but the other mob – the Liberal coalition is a bunch of blue bloods who can’t tell their arse from their elbow. If the old saying that “the people get the government they deserve” is true, well then fuck, we apparently deserve bugger all.

I’ll have to chew long and hard on my snag as I contemplate which nong to elect for a crack at the top job this time. This may require 2 snags...

Amarinda Jones
Penn Halligan
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book

I knew it...

Australia ranked world number one for sinning

• Australia ranked 1 for sinning
• South Korea ranked 1 for lust
• United States ranked 1 for gluttony

AUSTRALIANS are the worst sinners in the world, British researchers have decided.

In a study of 35 countries, Australians come up as the most likely to commit one of the biblical seven deadly sins.

http://www.news.com.au/national/australia-ranked-world-number-one-for-sinning/story-e6frfkvr-1225824525361

This doesn’t surprise me in the slightest. Why? Because I believe Aussies are way more daring and risky than any other people. It’s in our nature. I see it all the time. I often wonder, when I speak to other authors from different countries, why they worry so much about rules and what people will think. Aussies are plain speaking people who won’t put up with crap and we’ll have a go at anything. That’s our heritage and I’m proud of it.

Sin is good. Try some today. And, if you not an Aussie, do the best you can.

www.amarindajones.com
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To thine own self be fair dinkum…

Talented erotic romance writer Ashley Ladd wrote a comment on my ‘what does a writer look like’ post that reminded me of the song below. I have a terrible inability to conform to things. Maybe it’s because I’m an Aussie and we tend to go against the rules. Maybe I just don’t believe looks are as important as the person or what they write or say. I think we all need to be reminded of that. Thanks Ash.

www.amarindajones.com
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Of frozen chooks and raffles…

How many times in your life do you get to explain what a frozen chook raffle is? Not many - and to be honest being an Aussie I would never have to as other Aussies understand me and the whole frozen chook raffle deal. But I wrote this book for Ellora's Cave - Thigh High - part of the Going Down Under series that is specifically Aussie stories written in Aussie speak by actual Aussies. They said speak Aussie in it. We want you to. Right-o, I bloody will sunshine.

Anyway back to the chook – chook equals chicken. Why is it frozen? Well, that's what the Fle wanted to know. What's a Fle? A final line editor and basically they are the last person who checks your book before it heads out for publication. Now, the Fle being an American was goggle-eyed at the terminology in the book. Well you would be. Aussie strine is like a foreign language when we speak it in all its glory. Normally I am never allowed to keep Aussie words in any book as other nationalities “won’t understand” - so it was nice not only to spruik fair dinkum Aussie but have it remain in place. Mind you, I had to write an extensive glossary to explain what various words meant. The poor Fle stumbled on a couple I didn’t think to add into the long glossary. I just assumed they were universal speak. What were they?

- I put in that ‘nong’ equalled ‘dill’ but apparently in Yankee-speak ‘dill’ is pickle…in Aussie speak it’s a silly person…I guess some people are like pickles.

- ‘big smoke’ – when someone is reported to be heading to the big smoke it means the city – you know – pollution, smog = smoke.

- and apparently ‘Blind Freddie’ is another Aussie only thing – it means someone with no sense of sight could see the obvious.

And then there's the frozen chook. Why is it being raffled? Well...in Australian pubs it's not uncommon to be having lunch or a drink and someone comes round with something to be raffled, usually for charity or to raise money for the local footy (football) or cricket club (incredibly slow boring game) to get uniforms or to go to some state final or whatever. Anyway, the raffle is usually something like a meat tray done up by the local butcher. It would have steak, snags (sausages), rissoles, lamp chops – the usual barbie fare. Or it could be a seafood tray - prawns (shrimp) crabs, oysters, barramundi etc. Or a frozen chook or chooks. Yep – a couple of frozen chooks on a tray with a dozen eggs. It’s all a bit of a lark and light hearted fun. We’re not serious people but we are gamblers. Aussies we will bet the odds on anything. You have a raffle? We'll take a ticket or several – “$2 each or 3 for $5.00, love or if you buy ten I’ll give ya a kiss.” We love to take a chance on anything even the outcome of a frozen chook raffle.

Thigh High is out October 16th with Ellora’s Cave.

www.amarindajones.com
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A gift from the gods...

I opened my email to find a gift from the Cover Gods at Ellora’s Cave. Who’s a lucky girl? I was asked to write a story that was full on Aussie – words and characteristics and to make it true to real Aussie life. Thigh High is it. It’s going to be in an anthology with a bunch of other Aussie writers.

Okay, yeah below is very cute but it made me smile…realism versus romance…

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming -- Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with -- Kristen, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then-- Camille, age 10

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids -- Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MUM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

Both don't want any more kids -- Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough-- Lynnette, age 8

On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that Usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date-- Martin, age 10

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?

I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns-- Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

When they're rich -- Pam, age 7

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that- - Curt, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do -- Howard, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them -- Anita, age 9

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?

There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? -- Kelvin, age 8

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck-- Ricky, age 10

www.amarindajones.com
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Be daring...read an Amarinda book