Hotness...

I’m hot…no, not in that Paris Hilton way where she calls everything hot. Really, you would think she would have come up with another phrase by now other than ‘that’s hot’. If she had an editor she would get several highlighted comments saying ‘repetitious – please change one or all.’ With her money you would think she could pay someone to make her look brilliant. But anyway, to help the blonde heiress along, I am going to suggest she use the following synonyms - burning, boiling, scorching, sizzling and maybe if she wants to confuse everyone, more than normal, she could use the antonym – cold. Just a suggestion. Last time I saw the news she was still in Australia doing something…not sure what. Maybe buying clothes? I’m sure it was very useful and important whatever it was.

So back to my particular hotness. I was most pleased at my willpower. I did not run outside when the ice cream van came past my door three times. Normally things done in threes I consider an omen that needs to be followed – you know – third times a charm - but this time I stayed inside and did not scramble out to buy 57 cartons of deliciously cooling ice cream. God knows I wanted to but to be honest that would have required putting a t-shirt on over my bra and it’s too hot to do that. And no, I am waaaaaaay too scary in bra and shorts to inflict myself on the general public even in the name of all things ice creamable. Okay – possibly I made up that word….

Good thing about the heat is I eat less, pee more due to fluid intake and the arthritis in my thumb has gone. There’s the bright side to life – weight loss and no pain. The non bright side to life is I took down my 2008 fire-fighters calendar. Bye boys. I forgot to buy one for this year. Yes, I will rectify this immediately. The money goes to charity and that’s the only reason I buy it I swear.

So – you know it’s hot in Brizzie, that I am sitting in my bra and shorts, I have an iron will that prevented me buying useless, cooling calories that would have made me happy….yeah…well…sob…and I am trying to make Paris look smarter. Busy, busy….

I heard this song today that I had not heard in forever. Click here if you want to. It reminded me of a time long ago. Actually, more than that – it reminded me when I used to hate listening to this song because it kept reminding me of a really big mistake I made. Yes, it’s a soppy love song. And when I heard it today, I thought huh…well there you go. Memories never die.

www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Saturday stuff...

So, I had an acquaintance call me today. By the way it was as hot as hell here in Brizzie and because of that I was not in the mood to suffer fools willingly…okay? Got the picture? Hot, sweaty writer wearing shorts and a bra and staggering from fan to fan… trust me, not a pretty sight. I had to avoid looking in mirrors as I am sure my screaming was affecting the neighbours. Anyway, the acquaintance, let’s call her – Myrtle - she rang to find out the gossip on my books. Acquaintances are scandalized that I write what I do – while friends don’t bat an eyelid – hence why they are friends and not just acquaintances. So Myrtle said she had bought a couple of my books and she was ringing to tell me how ‘shocked’ she was. When I say ‘shocked’ I mean in that-I-can’t-believe-I-know-someone-who-writes-erotica-shocked. Anyway she wanted to know was I writing this type of book because I was not married or involved with anyone at that moment? Huh?What the? This was probably
the best dumb question I’ve heard in a long time. Naturally I did ask her what she meant as something as inane as that cannot possibly pass me by unnoticed. Her answer – “Well, you know, a married woman wouldn’t write about this sort of stuff because they have sex available to them at any time.” Yes, head spin. According to Myrtle, this means single people are so frustrated that they write about sex as some sort of release and if they weren’t frustrated then they would write ‘normal’ romance. Hmm…takes all kinds to populate the world doesn’t it?

I explained to Myrtle that many married women write these books and that it wasn’t just pathetic single women on the shelf (joking). She said she was sure I could find a man if I applied myself and then I would not need to write these books (she was deadly serious). Applied myself? Find a man and then not write sex because I no longer had the need to because in theory I would have no interest in sex as it was on tap so to speak? Most amusing – frigging, starched knickered nutcase. Her – not me, I’m just your average nutcase. Anyway I asked her how does that explain married women writing or buying erotica - like yourself Myrtle? She had no definitive answer for this other than to suggest maybe they were not in happy marriages, though she reassured me hastily that her marriage was perfect. Huh uh. Interesting, so what about the men that write under female names I asked? Do they have the same problem? Myrtle’s answer? Men are just like that. So, it appears men are oversexed and can write erotica because that are ‘like that' but women only write it if they are single or in an unhappy marriage because in theory there is no sex in their lives. Uh huh…thanks for the feedback Myrtle…I hope you find your way back to the dark ages okay.

So, I mentioned it was hot. We have had a very mild summer until now. As it is wont to do at the end of February, our Summer, the temperatures have shot up. Last night was horrible. You know that sort of heat that just makes it unbearable sleep in? And because I had all the windows open the mozzies (mosquitoes) thought it was an opportune time to visit as there was a lot of the flabby Jones flesh on display. Don’t you just hate it when you lie in bed and you hear the whine of an killer mozzies making their final approach to attack? There was no way I was shutting the windows so I lay spreadeagled – no not some exciting sexual thing – too hot for that – and clutched a can of fly spray to squirt the buggers as they descended. How I did not end up poisoning myself I do not know as the spray floats back down on top of you and you cough a lot. Suffice to say I got up this morning as cranky as all get out. Please don’t be surprised but I am not a placid creature. Shocking…I know.

Speaking of creatures, Waldo, the neighbour across the road – no not his real name – is walking around without his shirt on today. Yes, it is bloody hot but the thing is Waldo never wears a shirt. It can be freezing and he’s bare-
chested. I’m not sure why. Maybe he is trying to attract attention. I can’t imagine it would be mine as a man has to have something more than a chest to interest me. So the he-man look is lost on me. So why does he do it? I really want to ask him but I suspect a man that does this may have a fragile ego and the display of bare chest is to do with other inadequacies. Maybe he has an allergy to shirts? Maybe he wants to be a cover model? He does have that strange 90’s Fabio long hair. I know I’ll have to ask one day as it will get the better of me.

As always Anny has many wise things to say on www.annycook.blogspot.com and Kelly is still on the road on www.kkirch.blogspot.com. Safe trip home, Grasshopper.

Author Ashley Ladd - http://ashleyladd.blogspot.com/ - asked me what the Frogspond is. It is a group of writers that all have the one Editor. This Editor, who is wise
beyond her years – who me suck up? - has a fascination with frogs – hence the name of Frogspond and not that we all look like frogs. No, we’re all completely normal-ish. A lot of the writers in the Frogspond are listed to the left on the blogs and websites. Check ‘em out. While you are checking stuff out Dakota Rebel asks many interesting questions today on http://vampsmut.blogspot.com/. Please see if you can put her enquiring mind to rest.

Thanks to everyone who turned up to the Ellora’s Cave chat today – we appreciated it. I know many of you are freezing your arses off as I sweat and moan…stay warm and safe.

www.freewebs.com/amarindajones/
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?