Saturday, 23 February 2008

Saturday stuff...

So, I had an acquaintance call me today. By the way it was as hot as hell here in Brizzie and because of that I was not in the mood to suffer fools willingly…okay? Got the picture? Hot, sweaty writer wearing shorts and a bra and staggering from fan to fan… trust me, not a pretty sight. I had to avoid looking in mirrors as I am sure my screaming was affecting the neighbours. Anyway, the acquaintance, let’s call her – Myrtle - she rang to find out the gossip on my books. Acquaintances are scandalized that I write what I do – while friends don’t bat an eyelid – hence why they are friends and not just acquaintances. So Myrtle said she had bought a couple of my books and she was ringing to tell me how ‘shocked’ she was. When I say ‘shocked’ I mean in that-I-can’t-believe-I-know-someone-who-writes-erotica-shocked. Anyway she wanted to know was I writing this type of book because I was not married or involved with anyone at that moment? Huh?What the? This was probably
the best dumb question I’ve heard in a long time. Naturally I did ask her what she meant as something as inane as that cannot possibly pass me by unnoticed. Her answer – “Well, you know, a married woman wouldn’t write about this sort of stuff because they have sex available to them at any time.Yes, head spin. According to Myrtle, this means single people are so frustrated that they write about sex as some sort of release and if they weren’t frustrated then they would write ‘normal’ romance. Hmm…takes all kinds to populate the world doesn’t it?

I explained to Myrtle that many married women write these books and that it wasn’t just pathetic single women on the shelf (joking). She said she was sure I could find a man if I applied myself and then I would not need to write these books (she was deadly serious). Applied myself? Find a man and then not write sex because I no longer had the need to because in theory I would have no interest in sex as it was on tap so to speak? Most amusing – frigging, starched knickered nutcase. Her – not me, I’m just your average nutcase. Anyway I asked her how does that explain married women writing or buying erotica - like yourself Myrtle? She had no definitive answer for this other than to suggest maybe they were not in happy marriages, though she reassured me hastily that her marriage was perfect. Huh uh. Interesting, so what about the men that write under female names I asked? Do they have the same problem? Myrtle’s answer? Men are just like that. So, it appears men are oversexed and can write erotica because that are ‘like that' but women only write it if they are single or in an unhappy marriage because in theory there is no sex in their lives. Uh huh…thanks for the feedback Myrtle…I hope you find your way back to the dark ages okay.

So, I mentioned it was hot. We have had a very mild summer until now. As it is wont to do at the end of February, our Summer, the temperatures have shot up. Last night was horrible. You know that sort of heat that just makes it unbearable sleep in? And because I had all the windows open the mozzies (mosquitoes) thought it was an opportune time to visit as there was a lot of the flabby Jones flesh on display. Don’t you just hate it when you lie in bed and you hear the whine of an killer mozzies making their final approach to attack? There was no way I was shutting the windows so I lay spreadeagled – no not some exciting sexual thing – too hot for that – and clutched a can of fly spray to squirt the buggers as they descended. How I did not end up poisoning myself I do not know as the spray floats back down on top of you and you cough a lot. Suffice to say I got up this morning as cranky as all get out. Please don’t be surprised but I am not a placid creature. Shocking…I know.

Speaking of creatures, Waldo, the neighbour across the road – no not his real name – is walking around without his shirt on today. Yes, it is bloody hot but the thing is Waldo never wears a shirt. It can be freezing and he’s bare-
chested. I’m not sure why. Maybe he is trying to attract attention. I can’t imagine it would be mine as a man has to have something more than a chest to interest me. So the he-man look is lost on me. So why does he do it? I really want to ask him but I suspect a man that does this may have a fragile ego and the display of bare chest is to do with other inadequacies. Maybe he has an allergy to shirts? Maybe he wants to be a cover model? He does have that strange 90’s Fabio long hair. I know I’ll have to ask one day as it will get the better of me.

As always Anny has many wise things to say on and Kelly is still on the road on Safe trip home, Grasshopper.

Author Ashley Ladd - - asked me what the Frogspond is. It is a group of writers that all have the one Editor. This Editor, who is wise
beyond her years – who me suck up? - has a fascination with frogs – hence the name of Frogspond and not that we all look like frogs. No, we’re all completely normal-ish. A lot of the writers in the Frogspond are listed to the left on the blogs and websites. Check ‘em out. While you are checking stuff out Dakota Rebel asks many interesting questions today on Please see if you can put her enquiring mind to rest.

Thanks to everyone who turned up to the Ellora’s Cave chat today – we appreciated it. I know many of you are freezing your arses off as I sweat and moan…stay warm and safe.
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?


Anny Cook said...

Boy, I hope it's cooler for you today! I cannot imagine living without air conditioning! Well... I do remember what it was like when I was a kid with no AC and no fans... Ugh.

From one frog to another...

Tell Myrtle I get plenty--that's why I write about it! Want to share the joy!

Molly Daniels said...

1) Myrtle needs to get a life. Where do you find these people?

2) Waldo sounds just like my hubby, only w/o the hair.

3) I'm hopping on the next plane. I'm sick of this cold weather!

barbara huffert said...

You don't have anything to worry about if you hear the whine of an approaching mosquito. They're not the ones that bite. It's the silent ones that get you.

Mona Risk said...

I know many people like your Myrtle. I don't write erotica but I have a few very hot scenes in my books. I can name at least four of my very good friends who wouldn't read my books because of these scenes.

Love your picture of Some Like Hot, I saw that movie so many times and always laughed.

Thanks for the chat last night. I had a blast and lost my saintly terror of chats.

BTW it's warm and pleasant in Florida.

Sandra Cox said...

I agree with Molly. The Myrtle woman needs to get a life.
As always, great blog.

Kelly Kirch said...

What a lame-o head case Myrtle is. Myrtle dear, if you found this blog, realize A LOT OF US are happily married and AJ's perfect the way she is. Don't mess with my friend. If she don't kick your snide butt, I will.

Ashley Ladd said...

I think Myrtle needs to get a life. So sorry you had to deal with that. Some people are very narrow minded. I'm married for 28 years now and I write erotic romance. I have 5 kids so we can't have been that unhappy...

Thanks for the mention of my blog and the explanation about frogspond. That makes sense - maybe not your editor's fascination with frogs. That reminds me of the Lois & Clark (Superman) episode where Lois' clone keeps eating frogs. Sort of freaked me out.

I'm in South Florida and it's officially winter, but because we're in the sub-tropics, the temp's all over the place. Today, it was downright hot and I've got the sunburn to prove it. But a couple days ago, I was wearing my leather jacket and gloves I was so chilly. It's real pneumonia weather it switches so fast and so much.

Anonymous said...

Ugh! I can sympathise with you. It's hot here. Damn hot! We were without electricity from 9am to 2pm today too - yippee! So in the vain attempt to keep myself from getting too bored (in which I usually do housework) I ended up nearly giving myself heatstroke working in the garden.

We did, however, remedy this by going down to the local pool. Which was quite refreshing. I'm ususally not so happy about showing off my sack of potatos figure so obviously the heatstroke had taken effect! LOL

JacquƩline_Roth said...

You can keep the heat, I'll take winter any day. I know that sounds odd from someone in the deep south of the US, but...

Oh, and keep Myrtle too. We have those. I had someone tell me this week that she just couldn't understand why people would want to read or write about stuff like "that" (sex). If she doesn't know, I'm figuring either she ain't getting it or it ain't that great.