Sunday, 17 February 2008

Steven alert!

I got an urgent text message on my mobile (cell phone) from my mate Katie – it said “Steven alert!” I was instantly excited when I read that. I love Steven. He is the man. Who is Steven? Why Steven Seagal of course. Say what you like but there is nothing that man cannot do.

Katie and I got hooked on Steven movies when we were working together in the call centre at Promptel (code name for crap phone company). A while ago, for some reason, one of the television channels here decided to chuck a lot of Steven Seagal movies on TV. I could not sleep one night and sat up and watched one. It was silly and insane but the hero was all powerful, stoic and unbeatable. Isn’t that what you want in a hero? The whole chiselled jaw, I-will-kill-you-for-touching-my-woman deal and then I will save the world thing - is exciting. I know nothing about acting – I just like the premise that this man could be terribly injured and still save the day. What a man. Katie and I loved him in Hard to Kill. In that he had been in a coma from 7 years. He suddenly wakes up, tanned and muscular, in time to save everyone and kick bad guy arse. Excellent movie. No seriously. I want the hero to be invincible yet sensitive. Every time something went wrong in the call centre, Katie and I would often look at each other and say “We need Steven to sort this out.”

So, I have been alerted. There is a Steven movie coming up on TV this week. Will I be watching it even thought I have seen them all? Hell yes. I love Steven.

Bizarro world…I read in the Sunday newspaper that “Exorcists are in demand”. Apparently there is an epic rise in Satanists and alike. Some exorcists are carrying out “at least one exorcism at fortnight.” So my question is this…if they need more exorcists and they don’t have enough religious people to do this – are they looking to get temp staff in?

I have done the temping gig. You can be called in to do pretty much anything at any time. You have to be adaptable and you can name your price, per hour, if you are in demand. So, I wonder what you would have to do here? As a temp you don’t get a lot of training. You are just supposed to get in there and take a crack at the job. How interesting would being a temp exorcist be?
Do you work a standard 8 hour day or are you called in for no less than 4 hours? What breaks do you get and do you have the break before, after or during the exorcism? Do you have to supply the equipment for the expelling of evil or is there a generic kit you are supplied? Are you given taxi vouchers to and from the exorcism? And how much would you charge per hour? I’m thinking you would have to cover costs to your clothes for demonic wear and tear, sufficient costs for alcohol to calm you nerves after a hard day’s exorcism and maybe additional medical expenses from the odd demon slashing – and how do you explain that to your doctor?
A- Bloody demon, the big bastard slashed me
Dr – Did his nails look clean?
A – Yes, but he smelled of sulphur

It’s a lot to think about. Would I do it? Sure, if the price was right…probably get a book out of it.

Speaking of demons…here's a sneak peak at Penned Again – under contract with Ellora’s Cave and very much unedited. My poor Editor has that job of making me look coherent. I don’t have a cover yet so I plonked a nice picture for you to look at in the interim. The hero actually has a phoenix tatt on his lower stomach but you get the idea. And no, not all men need to look like this…it’s just a fantasy and sometimes that’s nice…

It was such a long since Arlo Ripley had felt the closeness of another’s skin again hers. She curled against the warm, male body and gave herself up to the dream she was having. Her hand touched the hard, hair roughened chest and luxuriant heat radiated through her arm and down her body. It was heaven to touch him once more. She had missed him so much. Him? Penn? Her eyes snapped open in shock.
“You!” Arlo jerked her hand away as she looked at the naked man in her bed. There was just enough light to see the deep green eyes of Pendleton Ripley. He had not changed one whit. Same dark, wavy hair, kissable mouth and a body to collapse against in need and hunger. And he was naked. Whoa! Too many memories there. She rolled away as fast and as far away as she could.
“Hi honey, I’m home,” Penn Ripley murmured as he reached out and pulled his wife back against him.
“Holy fucking hell, what are you doing here?” Arlo struggled to break free from his hold. To do that, she had to touch him and he felt so good to her Penn-starved senses. Six months without touching him had been torture.
“I came to see you.”
“Oh piss off.” She slapped her chest in derision. Remember you hate him and he is a lying swine…okay I can do this.
Penn’s finger gently traced the curve of her lips.
“I missed you, my beloved.”
Oh crap. Penn was using ‘beloved’ in that deep, husky voice he knew turned her on. Arlo closed her legs together tightly. He is back for a reason and that reason may not suit you. Be strong and don’t get sucked in again.
Arlo Ripley had endured six of the most horrible months of her life. It was like she was on a continual mood swing and it was all because of her husband – the demon. I married a demon. It still seemed bizarre to her. It was more like something out of a 1950’s schlock black and white movie. But it had happened and it still irritated her no end that Penn had not told her the truth. Honesty was as important as love to Arlo. That he did not tell her everything smacked at her self esteem. During their separation she had railed against him, the unfairness of it all and wondering if love was really worth the hassle. Sure, she was lonely without Penn but at least she knew where she stood.
“What do you want?” Though, his cock pressing against her thigh was a very good indication of where his mind was at. It was so long since she had sex. The feel of that life force pushing against her made her remember the last, delicious time she had touched and tasted him. She still remembered the feeling of her eyes rolling into the back of her head as she came. Then Penn had gone and broken her heart. Bastard. Well not again.
“I’m naked, you’re naked – what do you think I want?” Penn smiled at her knowingly.
I think I really need you now and I hate myself for being so weak.
“I think you’ve run out of clean clothes and want me to do your washing.”

Does he get his washing done? We’ll see…

Anny is as always being zenful on and Kelly is quoting someone on
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?


Anonymous said...

Ah yes, there's nothing like a bit of temping eh? I did it for 3 years and it was the biggest bludge LOL!

Ooh and I like your pseudo-cover. Yummo!

Oops .. Dancing is on. Must go! If I don't look like I'm watching it, it will get turned off.

Mona Risk said...

Amarinda, what a funny sexy exerpt. I'm goning to love that book.

barbara huffert said...

OMG! What a concept. Look out demons, here comes Amarinda JOnes!

Anny Cook said...

Ahhhh. Another Steven groupie. I LOVE Steven. I would actually turn on the tv to watch him. Hmmmm. I'm sure I have a tape of Under Seige. Maybe I should go watch that for inspiration.

Kelly Kirch said...

I like Penn. Nummy. And only you would temp for an exorcism. Ha!

Steven however is another matter. The man looks like he hasn't showered... EVER with his greasy hair and "Im stuck in the 70s" unbuttoned to his navel shirts. He carries a look of vacancy on his face. Nah. Can't STAND Steven. Ick ick ick. When he's on TV here, Scott laughs and changes the channel quick because we both feel the same way.

Tsk tsk, AJ, your taste is slipping.

Amarinda Jones said...

It's got nothing to do with looks Grasshopper, you know how I feel about that - it's about crazy, intense passion. I like extreme people

Sandra Cox said...

Well, I know you can handle anything that comes your way, though I'd never really considered a temp exorcist. Make sure they've got great bennies, death benfits etc.
Great excerpt of Penned Again.

Ashley Ladd said...

Temp exorcists? LOLOL You're something else.

Oh, and Steven is my type of hero. Hubba hubba!

JacquƩline_Roth said...

Lovely photo you got there. You could eat off those abs.